#ThisIsLuv

This Is Luv is a multimedia campaign that highlight examples of Black LGBT-affirming love already present within Black families and communities.

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Until I was 24 years old, I was a closeted lesbian until in casual conversation, I came out to my two younger sisters. As I expected, they didn’t have an issue with it and we continued with our conversation as if nothing happened. It was an unspoken agreement that they wouldn’t say anything to our mother until I was ready. My mom had been asking me about my sexuality but evaded her questions and when she realized that she wasn’t getting anything out of me, she asked my sisters. Both of them denied knowing anything until I came out to her myself. When I came out to my mother, she expressed that she while she didn’t agree, she would love me regardless of my sexuality. After that conversation, she decided to ask my sisters again to see what they would say and they still denied knowing anything until she told them I’d already told her and asked for confirmation from me. My coming out made me realize how blessed I am to have them. My sisters and I have always been close but I didn’t realize how close until this experience. They had my back until the end and I am so thankful because it let’s me know no matter who tries to do me wrong or walks out of my life, I have them. Prior to my coming out, my mom was ambivalent about LGBTQ issues but she never mistreated or disparaged queer and trans people. Now that I’m out, I’ve seen her growth. I’ve seen her call out family members for not only homophobia but transphobia. I’m proud to be her daughter and to be the elder sister of two ride or dies.

—Ashleigh Atwell ashleighnotashley.com

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1983: Mom and I. -Bryan Epps 

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My mother, father, brother and myself (on the far right). At an early age I was already adventurous, imaginative and independent. My parents have always supported my desire to dance to my own beat, express myself to my liking (within reason) and shaped me into man I am today. My parents love me just as much today as they did in this picture twenty plus years ago! - Ryan Monroe

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From Kim Kendrick:

When I told my parents that I was getting married my Father said, "I won't be there". On and off we had debates about his reasoning as well as mine. He said he loved me but didn't understand because "The Bible says..." 

A year passed and once he got the formal invite he said, "I'll be there but don't sit me up front." The day of the wedding arrived and I watched my Father's eyes light up as I walked down the aisle by myself, exchanged vows, and asked friends and God to bless our union. As the reception began he kept staring at me. The Father-Daughter dance started and my wife danced with her dad while people formed a circle around them. The song was half-way through when he grabbed my hand, lead me into the circle and said, "I love you". The four of us danced to "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder.

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When I found out my brother was gay, I was shocked! For years, my mother, who still lives mentally in the West Indian upbringing of irrational homophobia, had fed me this image of gays as "immoral, bad, wrong, etc.".

But I love my brother, he's funny, outgoing, and is just a great person and spirit to be around. I wasn't prepared to hate someone who wasn't like anything my mom had told me would be like. From that moment on, I chose love instead of ignorance.

I love the LGBTQ community. It's community full of love, support, artist, creative-intellectuals, and flawlessness above all. It breaks me to see the community constantly oppressed in so many institutions, especially the institution of family.

Family is suppose to love, and support, not neglect, hate, and negate. So, with that being said, let me be apart of your family. I will support any individual who has been broken, bruised, taunted, and rejected. I love you when no one else with. 

Kamilah B. Is a blogger at Urban Royals NYC (urbanroyalsnyc.weebly.com), which focuses on entertainment, lifestyle, and social commentary, the royal way.

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Check out this beautiful testimonial from Cherno Biko:

Many of my earliest memories are filled with my grandmother cooking in her kitchen or sewing in her dining room. Always immaculately dressed, she taught me how to struggle in style. She was the cornerstone of our family, and a woman of extraordinary accomplishment, strength, and humility. She was the person who encouraged and allowed us to take chances. The blueprint on my path to womanhood.

One of the hardest things I've had to do was leaving her and following my dreams, but she told me "dont lose your life waiting on me to die". I wondered if her grandmother told her the same thing before she left Talladega, Alabama for a new life in Columbus, Ohio. Since that time I've been blessed to travel the world using the gifts my grandmother nurtured in me. When her health began to decline I was honored to come back home and assist in her care.

In my culture when an elder transitions, they become an ancestral spirit concerned with the prosperity and security of their family. They are able to intercede with God on behalf of the community and offer protection and guidance. I know that our love will never die because our spirits are eternal and I look forward to the day when I'll meet you in heaven with a you-hoo!

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#ThisIsLuv Town Hall Meeting

On Sunday, February 22nd at 5:30pm, we will hold a Town Hall Discussion at the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) with special guests: Former NBA Star Jason Collins, EJ Johnson (Son of NBA Great Magic Johnson), Patrik-Ian Polk (Director, Writer and Producer of the feature film - Blackbird), Mychal Denzel Smith (The Nation), Danielle Moodie-Mills (Politini), Lori Adelman (Feministing.com), Miss Lawrence (Real Housewives of Atlanta, Fashion Queens), Imani Uzuri (Vocalist, composer and cultural worker), Diamond Sharp (Media Coordinator, Black Youth Project), Tona Brown (Classical violinist and singer), Tiq Milan (GLAAD), and former NFL player and thought leader Wade Davis – Hosted by Darnell Moore and Aisha Moodie-Mills.

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#ThisIsLuv (with image, tweets) · bardwellta

Tom André Bardwell's contribution to the national campaign on love and affirmation in black LGBT communities.

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From Joshua Allen (pictured, center right): As a queer child, I’d always resented growing up in a ‘black power’ family. Falling so easily into the racist fallacy that black families are inherently homophobic. I resented that they were so invested in the freedom of black folks, but so closed-minded when it came to gender and sexuality. I have vivid memories of taking an hours long car ride across a humid, rural North Carolina on Sunday’s. Listening to complicated conversations and bickering that seemed to stretch on as endlessly as the cornfields that bombarded the view from the window. On Sunday’s like this we would get dressed up in fancy church clothes, take this long ride to church and my Uncle (pictured, far left) would always readjust the buttons that I’d buttoned-up incorrectly before gently waking me upon our arrival. In my younger years I didn’t possess any words greater than ‘church’ for this congregation of black families, political organizers, educators and community members who adorned themselves in everything from Afrikan garb, to professional attire, to house-clothes. Most times I would spend the morning holed up in political education classes with my older cousin and older sister (pictured, center-right & center respectively). Some Sunday’s I would sit clutching my grandmother’s arm (pictured, far right) and hear words like abolition & pan-afrikanism-- those were my favorite. The parts of the conversation that I could comprehend just felt like a far away world to me, but other things felt much more present. I was constantly chastised for running into the girls bathroom with my big sister or holding my plastic fork with a certain flare whenever I ate. I always felt an unspeakable tension with my family growing up. As I experienced a white world as a queer teen I resented my family for being so ‘progressive’ with race and not sexuality. I hated that they could see my skin, our culture, our blackness as glorious but marked my gender and desire as transgressive. Over the years my resentment has turned into appreciation. The world teaches us to see our identities as separate, but upon arriving at an intersectional reintroduction to myself, my family and my desire I recognized just how supportive my family has always been. My blackness is not separate from my queerness. In a colonized world the same systems that have left me ‘othered’ because of my race have done the same in regards to my queerness. My grandmother and my Uncle taught me how to celebrate myself. Learning about abolition & black liberation theology served the purpose of arming me with tools to free myself. Through arguments and disappointment they taught me how to speak up, how to always hold my head high. They taught me a commitment to my people and my culture. Upon letting go of my resentment I was able to accept the multitude of talent, skills, gifts and experiences my family has bestowed upon me, in acknowledging my blackness as inextricable from my queerness.

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Celebrating Father’s Day and LGBTQ Pride

From Aishah Shahidah Simmons: In 1996, I produced  a short video titled "In My Father's House."

'In My Father's House' is a documentary short about Aishah's Black feminist lesbian exploration of her coming out process through self reflection, and candid conversations with her father, Michael Simmons, her younger brother, Tyree Cinque Simmons (a/k/a DJ Drama), and Yvonne Marie Jones, one of her best friends from high school. This video not only explores the interactions between father and daughter; sister and brother; and two best friends in high school; but it delves into both the trauma and joy of the coming out process as well as emphasizing the importance of supporting one's child, sibling and/or friend during their journey to define their own sexuality and their own identity. Aishah made 'In My Father's House' to challenge the racist myth that Black Americans are more homophobic than any other racial/ethnic/cultural group. She also wanted to challenge the sexist myth that relationships between fathers and daughters are not as important as relationships between fathers and sons.

The video is embedded in a 2012 "peace" that I wrote about my father in honor of both Father's Day and LGBTQ Pride

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From Kaila Story and their partner Missy Jackson:

"Our Love is A SuperPower"

We are Black Queer Love at its best!! We thank the universe everyday, All the time, for one another. We love each other with our whole hearts, and both realize that we have never had a love like this before in our lives. We showcase our love, lust, and passion for one another because we are proud of it. We laugh together, travel together, protest together, and are both committed to making our community and this world a better place. Our love is one in a million. Once in a lifetime.

We feel like we grow spiritually, emotionally, and physically with one another everyday, and when we are in each other's arms, we both feel immense power. Immense love. We love each other for all that we are, and all that we hope to be. We have found a love that not only sounds like love and feels like love, but looks like love. Our smiles, joy, and laughter is illuminated throughout all of the captured moments below.When your love with your mate is an extraordinary adventure, like ours is, you're happy to share this with the world.

We share these loving moments with the #ThisIsLuv campaign to show that black women, loving one another fiercely, unapologetically, and OUTLOUD is not only beautiful, but a revolutionary act. In a world that would rather invent narratives about Black Queer Love, (stepped in stereotype, not illuminating its nuances, truths, and beauty),we share our love with you, to show that not only is Black Queer Love possible, but necessary.

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From Jamal Lewis (pictured farthest right):

When I think about love, I think about these three beautiful women pictured with me: my grandma (right), my aunt (middle, left), and my mom (farthest left). Each woman -- flaws and all -- has taught me valuable lessons and things that they might not even know that they have, and I am truly grateful for their love, support and presence in my life.

When I invited them and my family into who I was -- queer, femme and gender non-conforming – I did so boldly and unapologetically never once giving them the chance or time to process what that would mean for the bright, jubilant, talented child they raised and grew to love as grandson, nephew, and son. Now, miles away, tears in my eyes, heart tender and warm, I am truly grateful that after years of arguments, misunderstandings, and distance which I've created between us for my own safety, I know and deeply feel their love for me; I know and feel that loving is possible; I know and feel the transformative power of healing; I know and feel that life -- whole and liberated -- is possible, with them; and I know that the black feminist nurturing spirit that live and breathe in me is because of them and their imprint on my life. I have survived and continue to because of everything I've learned from them -- complicated and beautiful all the same. Before I knew of and inherited the fruits of the labor and genius of black feminist scholarship, I learned black feminisms through these women -- Angel, Roslyn and Penny. They have shaped all that I am. And the fierce femme that you know, love, snap fingers for, and compliment today is a reflection of their love and inspiration.

This is a photo of us post dinner and drinks while I was back home in Atlanta during December of last year. #Thisisluv indeed.

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Photographer and former Editor-in-Chief of IKONS magazine Ardranae Blanc-Byer and her sister, fashion designer LaCarrie Byer. "I love you for loving me." ~Ardranae 

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As I write this, it appears to me that the smallest acts of kindness are still large enough to cast a shadow across the face of the entire planet. This will probably come across as odd but there are times when I think about Darnell’s reaction to my embracing his love for men and I miss the significance. What seems to have dislodged a considerable obstacle for Darnell — my acceptance of his humanity — was at the time, for me at least, nothing more than an easy and deserved kindness.

Darnell has always been a good person in my eyes. And I remember instinctively realizing that being gay changed nothing about that reality. At the time, that was essentially all that interaction between us meant to me. Yet, fifteen years later, I’m once again recounting that moment — despite the millions of moments that have passed since then — because the seed of kindness planted within it is still bearing fruit.

Just as I was the first person Darnell came out to, he was the first person to ever come out to me. Our good fortune seems joined at the hip because what if I didn’t like the first person to ever come out to me? What if I wasn’t already aware of his inherent value to the world?

If someone else had told me his secret, perhaps I would have stumbled and fallen into that pit of prejudice which I believe has consumed genuinely good people.

I sometimes miss the significance of that moment for Darnell because I’m blinded by how that moment favored me. I was only able to offer Darnell love because he gave me a chance to. And, years later, I believe that I’m a better man today because of his presence in my life and that small moment when Darnell’s faith in love allowed him to take that risk on me. -Quentin Lucas

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"This picture for me represents happiness. It’s demonstrates love that we all dream of having one day. It illustrates how two people can create a family filled with laughter, understanding, patience, and unconditional love. Amongst all these things this picture this picture is life. Because undoubtedly without these two people I wouldn’t be where I am now and for that I am forever grateful. They have shown me that broken pieces doesn’t mean a shattered future but with time, faith, love, trust, and commitment happiness not only can be found within but fostered by the people surrounding you." Tyra (in front), fiancé (behind), and their son (left).

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"Love lasts forever. No Judgement required" Aaron Bishop who is pictured below with his mother. 

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#ThisIsLuv centers on the love Black LGBT folk receive from families, chosen or created, and from Black friends, colleagues, comrades.

Darnell L. Moore