Feelings are stupid

Hello and welcome! My name is Harris, I'm 23,  from the UK. 

[bartdontlie]

Sometimes I accidentally receive email intended for other people. 

I try to be helpful. 

(Meanwhile I haven’t replied to like the last six emails from actual family members. I’m the worst.) 

[bartdontlie]

UPDATES! 

Jules replied to thank me for pointing out her error. She regrets to inform me that they already have an officiant: 

Then while attempting to send the wedding weekend accommodations email to the correct Ed she sent the original email to me again. 

I’m still trying to help: 

I haven’t heard from Jules since Friday so I suspect this is the end of our correspondence, but I’ll keep everyone posted. 

[bartdontlie]

UPDATE! Pete and Jules’s big day is almost here! 

It seemed like the right thing to do for all the joy they’ve brought us. 

[bartdontlie]

Oh my god oh my god oh my god! 

Pete and Jules sent me a thank you note! 

Complete with a very nice note: 

Aren’t they just the best? I should probably send them a thank you note to say thank you for the thank you note, shouldn’t I? 

Of course I should. 

[bookoisseur]

God I fucking love the internet.

[kaity--did]

Okay in my house we have a strange tradition. My mother builds this beautiful Christmas village.

It wraps all around our house through the rooms and under the trees and it’s wonderful.

Every year she hides the Christmas Vampire

This started when I was a very small got child and spread to all of my friends, including my best friend from elementary school who I just so happened to grow up and marry. Now that we have grown up and moved nearly 600 miles away we still always go home for a week at Christmas for multiple reasons, including the Christmas Vampire.

Needless to say we still partake and things have gotten heated.

Stay tuned for the epic conclusion and to see my husband and father in Lin-Manuel Miranda’s sooty costume when I find the Christmas Vampire First!

Happy Haunting!

[kaity--did]

Dad has no fricken clue how to trash talk and I don’t trust him in the slightest.

[kaity--did]

The saga continues. Mom hasnt finished the village yet and it’s starting to get to her….

[oldearthcartography]

Hahahaha, I mean I love this on multiple levels.  But what really threw it over the top was the mom’s anxiety over the world-building and city design being right.  I feel you vampire-hiding mom, I feel you.

[airyairyquitecontrary-deactivat]

can I just say that the Christmas Vampire is infinitely preferable to the Elf on the Shelf

[prince-of-legba]

Christmas town looks amazing, how much is the rent?

[kaity--did]

My mom has started constructing the village, and she would like you to know that the rent in the Christmas village is pay what you can and it can be in Christmas cookies. This village is very anti capitalist and when the Walmart moved in (my dad bought her a ceramic walmart) the villagers protested (read this as my mom made teeny tiny picket signs and stuck them to villagers hands)

[villainous-queer-deactivated202]

OP was the picket successful did they run the walmart out of town? I need to know. I am so concerned. Does the vampire live in town? Is he a beloved yet eccentric member of the populace, or do the townsfolk live in fear of him? Does his bat have a warm place to sleep during winter?

[kaity--did]

The picket is on going. This year they are all socially distanced. The vampire lives on the mountain in an old house. No one fears him but there is a story every year. 2 years ago he frightened the carnival worker who operated the merry go round, gave him a heart attack and he was in the hospital! The vampire was so scared he fled and there was a man hunt (because everyone was afraid for their friend and also insurance) …. My mom might be insane his bat is always with him and has a wing of the house to himself

[respectfulmemes]

[mentalkillness]

I feel like a mom on facebook reblogging this but I genuinely like it. I want to make this into a full size poster and put it in my 3rd grade classroom but I’m 20 yrs old and not a teacher

[robin-the-robo]

[shutupmerlin]

My boss doesn’t take me seriously because I’m the youngest in the office by a decade and spend most of my time making his life hell (unrelated problems).

Yesterday he asked me to help him with a problem with a program we use but wasn’t actually listening to me when I tried to help, so it wasn’t working. He asked who the expert on this program was in our office and I told him it was me. He asked who the expert was within the organisation and I told him it was me. He sent me out of his office saying he would call IT to fix it. So I very patiently went back to my desk, where my phone rang a minute later, with IT asking me to help someone who had a problem with the program.

The sheer unadulterated joy I felt making direct eye contact with my manager through the glass wall of his office whilst I answered his phone call will fuel me for WEEKS.

[waspinfested]

i cannot stand this i keep seeing op’s face like this in my mind

[invaderxan]

“Samantha thinks that the walk-in is soundproof.”

[muffled screaming]

“And we just… haven’t told her that it’s not.”

[bringiton]

Derry Girls (2018–), S01E01.

[flippyspoon]

[owowowowwoowoowow]

[oohsnickers]

I want George Washington replaced with Dolly Parton on the dollar bill and I want people to call it a Dolly bill and no sir I have not been smoking this idea is reasonable and sound thank you and good day.

[charitydingle]

JODIE COMER The Joy of Dressing Up With Jodie Comer | NET-A-PORTER

[violaslayvis]

[tariqah]

She delivered

[snowmean]

So.. Don’t take her advise then

[feverything]

i mean it was “how to murder your husband” not “how to get away with murdering your husband” you get what you pay for

[parakeet]

i should also mention that the reason for the screens at the counters in retail is not simply to protect against covid it is also to protect you from the cashier vaulting over the counter and pummelling you to death at any given moment. it is what it is

[iridescentides]

can we talk about how literally 64% of people wear glasses, and yet we NEVER see them in movies/tv unless it's on some nerdy or uncool character? why do we adhere to such a weird beauty standard that subconsciously makes us feel bad for,, not being able to see???

[amandab821]

welp

[cithaerons]

do you ever see people, in october 2020, talking about, like, hanging out with their friends and getting drinks with people and going on dates and hooking up with people and hanging out in coffee shops and going to the gym and realize that some people are living in a completely different reality than you are

[neutral-wizard]

[catchymemes]

[ulibeanzz]

ever notice how men criticize games like animal crossing and stardew valley on the basis of “the entire game is just doing tasks” without recognizing that “kill bad guy” is also just a task but violent?

[ulibeanzz]

”it’s so boring all you do is talk to people and do tasks so you can buy new things” yeah and all you do is press a bunch of buttons to kill people so you can buy new things? perish

[ulibeanzz]

my activity page has not known peace since i made this post i have hundreds of insufferable gamers crawling up my pant legs now but luckily i have a secret up my sleeve… i too am a gamer man. im immune to the gamer venom   

[atrius97]

This has the same energy as that post that’s “Red Dead Redemption is just Barbie’s Horse Adventure with violence”.

[plucky-passerine]

I feel it should be noted that the newest popular game among this same demographic is among us, the game that is composed almost exclusively of “just doing tasks”