The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl

An RP blog for the Squirrel Girl/Doreen Green

[thissquirrelgirl]

It's time to eat nuts…and kick…butts?

Hiya!

Welcome to my main muse blog: @thissquirrelgirl ! Please see the Rules below:

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I'll get straight to the point: this is a role-playing blog for the gal who kicks butts and eats nuts. The legend who defeated Dr. Doom with a legion of squirrels at the tender age of 14; the one who befriended Galactus and convinced him not to consume Earth; and the gal who absolutely has Tony Stark on speed dial. She is the fantastic, incredible, unbeatable Squirrel Girl!

This version of Doreen Green is 21+. She is a busy college student and a superhero with a golden track record (or she will be older depending on the RP storyline)! She enjoys lighthearted conversations, making friends, and finding the best way to take villains down - whether it be with her words or her fists.

(I also have three other mused blogs: @bugginout , @thebettermccoy, and @mccoysofthemultiverse)

[shamlesspandanerd]

[thissquirrelgirl]

To swim with all the power of a squirrel!

[thissquirrelgirl]

So.. any newspapers say bad things about you..or deliberately leave you our of the news or I dunno, popularity polls?

"Ohhh, for sure! I mean, if you’ve never had J. Jonah Jameson call you “a squirrel-themed menace” in giant headline font, are you even a New York–area hero?"

"Some papers just… don’t get me. They’ll run “Most Popular Superheroes” polls, and I’ll be mysteriously absent, even though my squirrel sources tell me I *crushed* in the write-ins."

"But honestly? That’s fine. My job isn’t to win popularity contests: it’s to stop bad guys and help people and squirrels. If people like me, awesome. If they don’t… well, I’ve still got the squirrel vote, and that’s the one that counts!"

[thissquirrelgirl]

Her comes the bride.....

[Please enjoy my shitty Photoshop XD)

[darkseraphscorner]

He would totally dress as Spiderman for their wedding if she asked him too.

Might be a bit odd on the honey moon, but healthy couples are into RP, right?

Just don't expect any web slinging hun.... Unless you stole those too.

[thissquirrelgirl]

Not that she would, she doesn't need/want him to be Spiderman, even in an RP sense. But that doesn't mean things can't get a little crazy!

"Look what I have!"

[thissquirrelgirl]

Her comes the bride.....

[Please enjoy my shitty Photoshop XD)

[thissquirrelgirl]

So… do the other members of GLA have their own accounts or not yet?

"Oh ho ho, I see you’re trying to follow the whole squad! I love that for you. Okay, so here’s the scoop:"

Mr. Immortal had a TikTok account, but he deleted it after someone challenged him to eat ghost peppers while he was dead. (He technically won, but the video was... upsetting.)

Flatman is absolutely on Twitter and uses it exclusively to correct people’s misconceptions about string theory and typography. Iconic.

Big Bertha has an Instagram, and yes, she embodies the definition of both glam and strength goals. Plus, her skincare routine? Legendary.

Doorman keeps saying he’s “thinking about” making an account, but he’s been saying that since 2016. He might be on BeReal, though?? He won’t confirm.

[Or did you mean irl? Because I don't know anyone who is running GLA blogs, though that would be sick!]

[thissquirrelgirl]

Isn't it wild that magic's real? We used to be tought that magic was just entertainment and slight of hand. Nowadays I spend time with magic folk at a fun bar.

Honestly? It’s amazing. Magic’s real, aliens are real, squirrels are smarter than most people give them credit for (LOOKIN’ AT YOU, HUMANITY), and somehow I get to live in the middle of it with my best friend, a grappling hook tail, and friends who can bend reality.

[thissquirrelgirl]

*whistles innocently, tries to sneak into the Marvel Rivals' roster*

. o O (Oooo yeah, this is gonna be sweet!!)

"Hey cuz'."

"Hope you've got a strong battle form, because things are about to get squirrely."

[thissquirrelgirl]

Hi SG!! Big fan here! I don’t got any questions or anything, I just wanna say I’m rooting for yah everyday, and supporting everything you do!

You go Squirelfriend!!! :D

"AAAHHHH THANK YOUUUU!!! "

"Okay, that just made my whole week?? Seriously, I’m gonna bottle this message and sip it like emotional espresso every time I need a confidence boost."

"It means SO MUCH to know there are amazing people like you out there cheering me on -- not just when I’m punching robots or stopping cosmic threats, but like… every day. That kind of support? That’s superhero fuel right there."

"And the name?? Squirrelfriend??? I’m adopting that IMMEDIATELY. I’m putting it on a patch. I’m putting it on a jacket. I’m putting it on Tippy-Toe’s little vest. We’re making it a thing."

"Anyway, THANK YOU. Stay awesome, stay weird, and remember: You’re Unbeatable, too."

[thissquirrelgirl]

Are you by any chance going to join the Bob Defense Squad™?

"Do I finally get to join the Avengers?!? There is a serious lack of squirrel-based powers on the team...Also, I'm great at making friends, and Bob seems very lovely, just a bit shy. I would be happy to help protect him."

"Sigh...Tony Stark never did call me back about joining the original team -- may he rest in peace -- I would be honored to bring back the fantastic team that has saved the world many times over!"

[Doreen joining the Avengers 2.0 aka Thunderbolts aka Bob Defense Squad, would be peak entertainment. She would fit right in, while also rounding out the antiheroes with her very moral persona. I think they would all develop a good middle ground!]

[thissquirrelgirl]

Sees Venom Doreen. "I am both scared and aroused, scaroused if you will."

[in normal Doreen's voice] "...Did you just say scaroused at me???"

[shifts to Venom voice] "We are Squirrel Venom Girl. And we find your emotional conflict... amusing." "Fear is natural. Attraction is... concerning. But we respect it."

[back to Doreen's voice, grinning like a goofball] Okay, but real talk, thank you?? I think?? That might be the weirdest compliment I’ve ever gotten, and I’ve once been told I have "strong tree energy."

[thissquirrelgirl]

Hey, uh, I'm really sorry.about what I said yesterday. I was bein envious and petty. *hands her a 3 foot bag of fresh popcorn* I figured you and your furry pals would like this. I hope it's a good peace offering.

"Hey... you don’t even have to bribe me with popcorn, but I’m definitely not mad about the popcorn."

"Seriously though, thank you. That takes guts to say, and I really appreciate it. Everyone gets hit with the envy monster sometimes..."

"Also, for the record: Tippy-Toe just climbed into the popcorn bag like it’s her new apartment, so... I think you’re officially forgiven by the entire squirrel delegation."

"Peace accepted. Friendship intact. Popcorn devoured."

[thissquirrelgirl]

:-0

DUDE I GROW UP TO BE THAT BAD BUTT?!? THATS. SO. COOL…

~ @squirrelgirl-official

"Ohmygosh! Another me. Are you time-displaced? A different me from another dimension? Or (even cooler) a time displaced me from another dimension?!?!"

"Ya know what? It doesn't matter! It's great to meet another me. And girl, let me tell you that you are already BA because you're Squirrel Girl! And you're already kicking butt at fifteen!"

"Life only gets cooler from there. Sure, you'll have your fair share of bad and even terrible moments, but those moments will help you get even stronger, both emotionally and physically."💪

[thissquirrelgirl]

Hey, wait a minute.. Do you just fight bad guys with squirrels?!

"Hoards of squirrels. My super-strength. My sharp little claws. My smarts. My friends."

"I'm just an all-around evil butt kicking machine!"

[thissquirrelgirl]

Watches her work. "Come to the kiddy pool, I have Soda."

"Do I want to splash around in two feet of highly questionable water with a fizzy drink in my hand and zero responsibilities?"

"YES. ALWAYS. ABSOLUTELY."

"Did I just grab Tippy-Toe, three pool noodles, and a bag of cheese puffs shaped like superheroes? ALSO YES."

[thissquirrelgirl]

[text] Why are you trending on Twitter?

[thissquirrelgirl]

" are you asleep ? "

"Pffft. Asleep?? I could be unconscious and still answer texts faster than Spider-Man on espresso."

"...Okay, maybe I was half-dozing, but in my defense, I had a full day of squirrel patrol, finished coding a webpage for a client, and also I accidentally ate cookies dunked in five coffees yesterday... So if I suddenly start typing like "glllkjsfh acorns justice"...you know why."

"But no! Not asleep. Nowhere near asleep. I am awake! Awake and alert and--"

"z...Zzz... acorn heist... call Tony... zzz..."