Out Of The Ordinary

|| Pictures & Vids on the daily || I reblog because I can || I'm not normal || Love is the most important thing in the world || January 1, 2019 ||

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

To have someone who will watch you struggle every day and be there as much as he can and says he’s not leaving is beyond what I can ask for and inspires me to keep trying every day. Some days are positive some aren’t. Most days have been a struggle for me. Thank you for being by my side when I can’t deal with life. 😅😬💕👌🏻 “I honestly have no clue what’s going to happen next; all I know for sure is that you make me happy and that’s all I need” ~ some random quote on Pinterest 🤷🏼‍♀️ https://www.instagram.com/p/B1aX7xvFMhqSdlcb0tua8ZpGnKqZ6sapBYnQ0M0/?igshid=pcmfvcem7vku

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

Feeling numb. I became someone I didn’t want to become. Jealous. Defeated. Worthless. I’m tired. Not just physically but mentally tired. Tired of this battle. Tired of life. Tired of thinking. I’m just .... tired. Crying myself to sleep yet I can’t sleep. So just crying.

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

Struggling

7 months. 7 months sober or not hurting myself. But it’s been so strong the last few days. The rapid weight gain. The stress of work. The stress of money. The stress of my moms health. The stress of letting go basically everyone in my life. What do I have to show after turning 31? Nothing really except that I have an eating disorder. I’m so tempted this morning. Just to release some by feeling pain instead. It’s all I know what to do since I was little.

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

“The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.” - H. Jackson Brown Jr. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz5u41KFbzB5e8jdsZ66y4pT7vNZxHZvCx8GAo0/?igshid=1658chx606k3l

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.” ~ Lion King https://www.instagram.com/p/BwAszVIFtmGUaA5C8i5Wmlew1HuBMhiFANpEhM0/?igshid=euu5uaa2fwr

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

“We get to choose who we let into our weird little world.” ~ Robin Williams (Good Will Hunting) https://www.instagram.com/p/Btqm0gsBlzpshq8YooMvfMfeYeenhkq6bpTSM80/?igshid=y6seepfe8g6r

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

Words cannot describe how wonderful you are and how beautiful you make me feel, especially when I’m feeling not the greatest of myself. https://www.instagram.com/p/BsLYdKIlmakcdMMsd00vOoYx97IVRbJaDdwLC80/?igshid=1g0njqe8ysdfx

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, & see what happens.” https://www.instagram.com/p/BpCwuzqFLwGRQ9_cxzuuedNTcQmIxb06d18mUY0/?igshid=yfkc603ookoa

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

I knew when I woke up this morning I would be spending some great quality time with @brittanipresents and working out. She inspires me every time we have our quality time together. What came after her dropping me off wasn’t what I expected. Decided that I really need to finish the week I missed in the study I’m doing since I was meeting them later. So I walked to Bohdi Leaf, put in my head buds and blasted my worship music on Spotify. I wanted to really focus. Personally I felt the need to go over one of the old chapters. I really needed to remind myself what that chapter was about. “Life can get messy and confusing. He has the ability to turn what satan has destroyed in our lives into something beautiful again.” You see, anxiety and depression is anything but beautiful. When it hits. It hits hard. When you need people the most, you tend to hide away so you won’t feel like a burden or that they don’t really care. I have the type where I can handle work and life every day but it’s still there at the end of the day and that’s when I feel it the most. It can feel a little chaotic at times. But I’m learning how to handle it with the right doctors and medications. Now during studying this chapter again, I still got semi unfocused by a lot of people walking in and out but that’s normal and some say it’s a distraction. But I once heard that maybe you need to be distracted otherwise you might miss an opportunity. And I’m glad I did. I saw people that I knew but haven’t caught up with them in over a year and started talking, some things I needed to hear. I also got texts from others that I haven’t heard from in awhile that wanted to spend quality time. Some might question how this has to do with the chapter about beauty through chaos. Well, quality time is one of my love languages and affirmation is another. Even though this summer up to even earlier this week I felt like it was chaos with my depression and anxiety and life in general and knowing the holidays are coming up. But, I feel like I’m finally getting better. I feel this next season with these “coming soon” quality time is a beautiful thing to me. I can’t wait! ❤️🧡🌼 https://www.instagram.com/p/BoQY1MbFnrYrlZhLvY30upR4kJWRhifRIxVBoc0/?igshid=malswq4xdqwf

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

“You are a unique person created for a specific purpose. Your gifts matter. Your story matters. Your dreams matter. You matter.” ~ The Blind Side ❤️🌼 https://www.instagram.com/p/BoJunmalx7oY5ZOez4j5KzT0b6FoU62cnxmjGE0/?igshid=15y1en9mb87oj

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

“If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together There is something you must always remember You are braver than you believe Stronger than you seem & smarter than you think But the most important thing is Even if we are apart I’ll always be with you” ~ Winnie the Pooh ❤️ https://www.instagram.com/p/BmHeVZSgLisHGgSxzyo6gaivRimLbM2Jn9EV_Q0/?igshid=1tjphzk5c1z0z

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

“I see shattered You see whole I see broken But You see beautiful And You're helping me to believe You're restoring me piece by piece” ~ Clean - Natalie Grant ~ https://www.instagram.com/p/BjlMdaKAcUBF7iWnZ17R-C3sSeV_pgpwdEK68U0/?igshid=zfknl8a76u3g

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

“How dangerous it is when our souls are grasping for God but we’re too distracted flirting with the world to notice. Flirting will give you brief surges of fun feelings but will never really pull you in and hold you close. Indeed, the world entices your flesh but never embraces your soul. All the while, the only love caring enough to embrace us and complete enough to fill us, waits.” - Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst (at Laguna Beach, California)
https://www.instagram.com/p/BjWbGchAasX1DTua5zA9qEMulVnLRYuIdaIf6M0/?igshid=18nqxcq1xuly6

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

Love one another even if you don’t agree with something. Love one another through times of trouble. Love one another through amazing times. Love on everyone. You never know what’s actually going on but if you show them love no matter what, it could help.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Be9yZaTFFPvyses5TTAwMam_bAAIezgiQuUaFk0/?igshid=1cltecx35p34t

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

So many stories within those holes 💕 everyone has them.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Be4cxaaltz8e7pQIJp8RNuVpangXTu0pLJdpqY0/?igshid=1wubk0ikve31x

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

One of the many reasons why I love traveling on train / car rides is to relax and watch the beauty of where we get to...

[thisweirdthingcalledlife]

This jacket that I borrowed from a friend for this photo is everything I want! Here’s why. Music is my everything .... music has helped me escape, helped me heal, helped me feel emotions that I didn’t really want to feel and hold it deep down inside but it helped let it all out. 💙🌹 Photo by: @cocohyattmusic