Another BPD Blog

BPD, depression, anxiety and PTSD

[thoughts-into-constellations]

I honestly thought I'd be over you by now. I'm happy. I'm getting everything I ever wanted. But it's not with you. I think I'll be sorta kinda maybe a little bit in love with you for the rest of my life.

[teenscoolest]

[thoughts-into-constellations]

Love and Loss: an open letter

I need to find a way to talk about this because it's been swirling around in my head for so long. I just need an outlet. So here goes.

It's been a whole year since my ex left me (R.). It's been almost a year since I found love in a new man (P.). So why does it still hurt? Why cant I stop loving him?

P. is spectacular. He is smart and funny. He loves me and treats me well. He wants all the same things that I want. He wants to marry me. He wants to start a family with me. Every single day she showers me with tiny romantic gestures that he sees as normal, and expected. They're not. He makes me chocolate covered strawberries and bubble baths. He cooks fancy meals and brings me flowers. I should love him with all of my heart. He is so kind and perfect and loving. And I do love him.

But R. He was my first real love. Our relationship wasn't perfect. There were so many flaws. We didn't trust each other. We didn't show each other enough love. I wasn't patient enough. I miss him. I shouldn't. But I do. I miss the way I felt about him. That big swirling love that I don't think I will ever feel again. I don't think he felt the same though. And that hurts. It probably always will.

This new love is comfortable. But it's not big. I miss having a love that was so big that it completely fills me. Then again, it hasn't gone away. I think a part of me will always love him. I still think that maybe when we are older, in a decades time, we will end up together. He still feels like my future. I am so endlessly conflicted. I feel like a horrible person some days.

I just wish that I could tell him. R. I love you. I always will. I just wish you held even an inkling of the same regard for me. I wish that you had replies to that letter I sent you months ago. I wish I had been stronger, better, kinder. I wish I knew what to do now.

[thecowgirlwitch]

Why is it?? That I can go through the whole day feeling fine and dandy but the second I lay down for bed impending doom settles on me?

[baylone]

[existentialterror]

🤔 a compelling model

[mulletlove-deactivated20200811]

how the fuck do yall relax in the presence of another human……how 2 stop performing 

[photosbygy-deactivated20200605]

oh my god….. never ever have I related to something as much as I relate to this

[thoughts-into-constellations]

A Question

How do you tell if you still love/miss someone or you're just still hurting?

[anxietyproblem]

[peridotsofficialtwitteraccount]

IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST, JUST REMEMBER THAT I HANDLE ME AT MY WORST AND THAT MAKES ME STRONGER THAN YOU

[myneurodiversity]

Oh my goodness this makes me feel powerful I hadn’t even thought of it like this.

[thoughts-into-constellations]

Hello anxiety!

I wish I could say it was nice to see you again, but do you think you could leave while I try to get some sleep. It's 2am, you see, and it's hard to sleep with you pounding at my insides.

[memes-r-memes]

[inspirelocked]

Okay but can i mention that you’re not bad for wanting attention? Like, we are pack bonding animals. We need affection of some sort in order to survive. Like, communication of any kind is fullfilling. You can be the MOST introverted person EVER and still feel lonely in your happy place.

And it’s just as okay to be extremely alone and never let anyone touch you as it is to be extremely touchy feely and constantly have people around, and everything in between the two is just as good, so long as it suits your individual needs.

All im sayin, is don’t feel bad for wanting attention from others. It’s your instinct. You ACTUALLY DO need it and you arent bad in any way.

You need love too.

[inspirelocked]

Reblogging bc its important and no one saw this at all

[anshelinasholie]

me for 3 years straight: “sorry i haven’t been myself lately”

[babyanimalgifs]

if you’re having a bad day, watch this

[stories-by-shanna-p]

Oh my heart!!! 😍😍😍

[micaxiii]

when the dog yawns and the cat’s head is in their mouth for like two seconds lol

[naamahdarling]

This cat DEFINITELY sees the dog as a big dumb clumsy baby that needs caring for, and loves it very much.

[cloudfreed]

“It will take time to clean this dog… but I will try”

[metradell-vyorei-deactivated202]

Anyone who ever said “absence makes the heart grow fonder” has never met a person with BPD and abandonment issues.

[zvcktayior-deactivated20170805]

Visit Original Link

GUYS THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

[discocheats]

[just-shower-thoughts]

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal…

[rubyetc]

it’s ok 

[voidbat]

i’m crying now? i needed this.