thoughtsby

The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day. That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.

[thoughtsby]

You Belie

The respect you chase

When You Be Lie

U-Me vs

with a quickness lose face

Mocking our Us

No surprise no more grace

We both had a pass

And for you i lit up the town

While you lied on the daily

About fuckin these clowns

Goddamn. That's her dad

There go Marcus' face

beLie five more times

All the trust

zero trace

Her choices all seem

Not stacked with tens, but fives

She doesn't quite feel

That we're both still alive

Fuckin stall?

Zero game

Minor league

Zero shame

In and out like a boy

7 minutes he came

Whatchou gonna do with the next 53?

Good question

Like clockwork, she starts looking for me

Bout to call me daddy

But i get a b p

Not the oil, not the dad

Poems talking bout me

But just as I feared

She's shifts all of the blame

into three higher gears

Buying time I suppose

Till her fiction appears

Dodging again

The ironic-est twist

Of detail left out

Adding bitch to my list

For each one of my calls

The others have six

They're omissions not lies

She doesn't think much

Again she dons the guise, disrespecting

The man that I am

She won't even try

Tho my back is up straight

And my head is held high

Realizing too late

That she drowned me with lies

So many days

i put your needs before mine

Your complacency framing

My low self esteem

Once secure in its place

I forgot I was dope

Till all of your friends

Reached out to help cope

And as good as that feels,

You'll need to arm yourself

Rip off your pants,

imma fuck your sister,

your mom

And even your aunts.

So get your ducks in a row,

And name the lead Plot

Jump them over the holes

Omissions and Nots

The thing I need most

Is to back me up G

Forget about He

Cuz it's all about me,

No way you don't see

The lie to yourself

Pussy on notice

And false perceived wealth,

That i never meant much

A year or three late

it was really just you

Spreading lies and the hate

Set flame to our pattern

Did I rank below Lou?

Or noch, Mike, and Josh?

It was more than a few

Fake stay in your lane

Inflict maximum pain

Scurry home to the desert

Prognosis the same

So fuckin lame

Wasting time

playing games

You throw us away

Every day that you say

Secrets no more

Now you're basically gay?

Except that's a lie,

Finger banged by some guy

Or bareback five strangers

Let concern for me fly

My safety, my health, my kids,

You don't try

But I see you now

I see through your guise

And I'm wanting to grow

Tho call me your man

While he's sharing your sheets

In the fire from pan

Come crying to me

From a 9 to a 2

Motherfucker he can't conjugate

No one's sorry for you

-----

If i follow again,

You're the last of your kind

Fit Benny on doubt

Cuz I'm outta my mind

And partially blind

The advantage got taken

Am I a sucker?

Or kind?

Just spread super thin

So confused

Where you been?

You'll live in my house

Buy some clothes,

Buy some shoes

Buy a phone

With fuck yous

All neatly included for free

At no cost

If you ignore the few months

I was totally lost

I'm a man not a mouse

I brought you here, sure,

But your logic is flawed

Nobody keeps a ride score

But If they did and saw you

They'd say you were trash,

And I'd correct them

For you.

But they're right, in fact

When you act like you do

So no crutch for me

I wrote this poem for you

Like warm sidewalk gum that'll stick to your shoe

Turn your black

Into blue

Till you find someone new

And by lunch there's no doubt

You'll have at least two,

Command no respect

Till my unseen support

Sends a pattern in short

While your 4 outta 10 starts to court

I'm sick to my stomach

Once again you're a ghost

Walking with trash

Strange gets all your most

You'll tell a few lies

Maybe work in a toast

At my expense sure

You'll have your own roast

So...

Fresh after your mention

Of your elsewhere-dick-session

I'm a glutton you'll find

For stories that kill

This one is the Besst

But I've had just my fill

I won't even know

Seed dried on your chest

You'll kiss me so hard

And say I'm the best

You'll grab a fresh shard

And in caves my chest

But when i find out,

And I always do, Boo

Cuz all of your friends

Like me better than you

Well... shit,

I just might

Turn the tide

In one night

Hit em all

With one ball

Say goodbye

And don't call

Have you wondering out loud

How YOU had the gall

Your loyalty

Matched

stature

Impossibly small

[thoughtsby]

##Trust takes maintenance and integrity takes time, not dollars

#Credibility requires cultivation, and pivotal moments in life are often decided-upon not by influence, but simply by whether the person across from you has enough reason to trust that what you’re saying is true. Integrity doesnt expedite. Listen up get around. I think we all can agree.  word is not bond, then why you talking to me, Lisa he don't even have his license, gimme the keys, I do as I please, a few less niceties, but do you really feel my flow? I mean rhetorically. Can't be bored? Just like me. 

bond

[thoughtsby]

From Mayflower to Machine Learning, word is still fucking bond.

[thoughtsby]

Everyone is broken somewhere.

[thoughtsby]

Be authentic, even when it sucks.

- me, just now