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who I am

I am the fourteen-year-old-girl who will never know how to extract a simple joy from life such as savoring the taste of goat cheese and honey on a plain cracker because I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror. I starve myself to fit a mold I wasn’t made from while wearing clothes that turn-on pedophiles and cutting the skin that I will never feel comfortable in.

I am the seventeen-year-old-boy who dresses all in black and draws skulls on everything and listens to Pantera. (Not really listen but more like play it extremely loud so it’s more of just a ringing in my ears and a way to keep people away). I play violent video-games with lots of guns and people dying and I embrace whatever else is out there that represents death and destruction. I do it to make people afraid of me and to hide the fact that I’m more afraid of them.

I am the twenty-one-year-old-mother of three who is stuck in a loveless marriage with an abusive husband and whatever other cliché you have for “getting-married-too-damn-young-and-not-knowing-any-better”. I would leave but I don’t know how since I never had to make it on my own, never finished high school, never had a job, and because there are three beautiful souls that I need to protect so they can have a better life than the one I’m living.

I am the thirty-eight-year-old-virgin three-hundred-pounds and living in my mother’s basement pining for Japanese anime characters with big eyes and even bigger boobs. I have hard drives full of porn and I frequently masturbate even though it has been five years since I could look down and see my penis. I am virtually-married to an orc, three elves, and a dwarf. All the love that I have ever felt was virtual and the only thing that is ever real to me is the pain of being so alone.

I am the sixty-nine-year-old-woman with four beautiful children and seven grandchildren and a husband who I buried a year ago and who I never told that I was a lesbian because my generation wouldn’t let me. I found my soul-mate in a senior living community and we spend every moment we can together. She likes tea and kittens, I prefer coffee and dogs, but we are in love and we are going to spend the rest of our lives together – happier than we ever thought we could be.

I am the eighty-year-old-man who lost his true love to time, cursing God for giving her the eternal life that He refuses to grant me. The only reason I’m still alive is because of a promise I made to my beloved on her deathbed that I have yet to keep. I promised her I would find happiness without her.

I am the flower on the wall watching you all.

Aloud

"I want musicians, I want drummers, and may All the poets come prepared to read, to testify in heightened language to a life lived as a lifelong sonnet"

"And the seeds, I sow will grow up prisoners too"

#the knife

Ne Me Quitte Pas

leaveful

violentwavesofemotion-deactivat

She – just kept her thoughts to herself. She just –

Laura Kasischke, from The Infinitesimals: Look (via evadethevoid)

purplemonkeysexgod69

write to keep yourself

every poem a grave marker for every body you’ve become and buried

My dull, yet profoundly beautiful life. Is full of hours sitting in a chair at work. Staring at a blank wall Complimenting strangers on there vibrant shirt. Commenting to my self on the unmanageability that just is. Sipping 7/11 coffee And judging those around me who seem snotty. Sometimes I feel like I'm rotting Yet I haven't found a pill that could stop this plotting. To end what is. But I will always miss your kiss. Looking at the scenery of a 200 ft waterfall with moss encompassing the earth around it. Getting to no hundreds of beautiful people from the insides of there soul. Loving that spot on your face that some describe as a mole. Thinking of all the times I was a piece of shit, entitled I stole. Remembering the times I gave my time and even material possessions to make someone else's life less dull. From the moments of huffing duster To the moment I got clean. At times i would be lying if I didn't feel flustered. As the next line I try to muster I think of that fucker that broke my friends. The one who you'll wait your entire life for to make amends. The one that scared your body with insults that come out shottie. The one that keeps you up at night. The one you dread to see there sight. I can only hope for your forgives upon them and my own for mine. Because I'm aware, If I can't forgive that demonic stare. I'll end up just the same. Showing someone the hurt I feel As much as I tell my self it's not. It's always been a big deal. The love I possess is unreal I'm emotional And the spokes on my wheel are unbalanced. Unsteady and challenged But at times. I enjoy my dull yet profoundly beautiful life.

"Self loathing sinks into my being. Everyday without flaw. I'm good at pretending to be ok. Im the perfect example of newtons law"

I want honesty. Communication and clarity Sincerely, You stare through me With a gleam of beauty that I can not Resist but to touch.

wnq-movies

The only thing worse than being lonely, is other people knowing you’re lonely.

Misfits (via wnq-movies)

"To be lonely is a habit Like smoking or taking drugs And I've quit them all but man was it rough. It made me tired. It just made me tired You know I'm a liar"

Kristen Stewart and soko 💜🙈💜😳💜

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