Need and Want
Many have asked me, “Why do you do what you do?”
I answer, “Sometimes what I need to do, is more important than what I want to do.”
Shouldn’t such an answer be sufficient?

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@thoughtsofponder-blog
Need and Want
Many have asked me, “Why do you do what you do?”
I answer, “Sometimes what I need to do, is more important than what I want to do.”
Shouldn’t such an answer be sufficient?
blurryface |-/
Thoughts on “Lies Kill Me”
So I just wrote this poem.
I know it’s quite depressing.
I just thought that I should express how much trouble lies can get us into. Of course it has a lot more deeper personal meaning for me. I think that even if time could stop and we could run from everything, it would do us no good. We would not learn a thing.
If you haven’t read the poem yet click here
Clear your mind here
Want to know me? This is how n_n
Thoughts on “Poison”
If you haven’t read “Poison” yet, click here to read it.
Nearly a month ago I started writing down thoughts about my experience with cancer throughout my life. Several people have dealt with cancer that I am very close to. My childhood friend who passed away when I was 14 had cancer, my dad is a cancer survivor, and my sister has Thyroid Cancer; therefore, I think it fitting to write a book about it.
Just the other day, Dad approached me with the desire to write a book about his experience with cancer. That gave me an idea; I haven’t approached my dad about it yet, but I thought that maybe him and I could write it together.
Nothing is set in stone yet, but I just was brainstorming an opening for the book and “Poison” is what came to me.
Let me know what you think.
5 Years Time
Hey there tumblr!
It most certainly has been a while. I was speaking with a dear friend of mine just last night, and he told me I should migrate Ponder back to tumblr rather than having it sit around on blogspot and not get anywhere.
So I was thinking about what to post next. Honestly, I have no idea where to start, nor what to say. It’s been months since my last post on Ponder and I regret that, but I’ve been incredibly busy. My apologies for having a life ;)
Having said all of that ^ I guess I’ll start with sharing that which over these past few months has become my dream, and the list of things I’m going to do to fulfill that dream.
I’ve finally decided on a career, and that is a huge step for me. It wasn’t an easy decision. In fact, it was harder than many things I’ve ever done. Think of the impact that my career choice will affect the rest of my life? It will affect my relationships with family and friends, potentially could influence whom I marry, how I raise my children, whom I associate with, and how I define myself as a human being. So here goes.
English Teacher
“What the hell!?” “Payden, are you sure that’s what you want to do?” “Have fun getting married!” “I think you could do better.” “Eww.”
All of those are actual reactions from people who I have told about my major life decision. All of those people have their own opinions, and all of them, excluding the last, have their valid points.
Do I think that being an English teacher will be easy? Absolutely not. Do I think that it will be worth it? Absolutely. To answer that, I would like to address a few of the reactions I received.
“Payden, are you sure that’s what you want to do?” Yes, I am ceartain. Why on earth would I do something that I wouldn’t enjoy? Fortunately for me, I have wonderful people in my life who have always told me to follow my dreams, and the career I have chosen to pursue is the way that I can achieve what I want to in life. Is having money important to me? Well, it is most certainly appealing! I wish I didn’t have to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day, I wish I could afford tickets to that one concert, I would do anything to backpack Europe, and summit Everest. So am I giving up on those dreams? Being an English teacher doesn’t mean giving up on what I love, in fact, I plan to do many amazing things in my lifetime, maybe I will never climb Everest, but is that the most important thing? Loving life doesn’t mean driving the nicest car and living in the nicest house. It’s almost the opposite! Loving life is making the sacrifices for the people, and the things, that you love. Driving a two door honda civic and living with my parents doesn’t mean I’m giving up on my dreams. Maybe it will be years before I own my own home, I most likely will never drive a BMW, maybe I wont be able to buy my children all of the “coolest” toys, but I will be happy, I will save, and I will do what I love.
“Have fun getting married!” Tinder girls are mean... I unmatched her after that comment x_x Anyways, I have no idea as to why being an English teacher would ever prevent me from meeting the girl of my dreams. The income of my profession may not be appealing, in fact, it scares me quite a bit. But that isn’t what I want someone who falls in love with me to be primarily attracted to. I’m handsome enough, and pleasant enough to be around. I will find her. It may be years from now; no matter, I’m enough, I will find her.
“I think you could do better.” All I have to say: There is nothing better than doing that which you love.
In five years time, I have no idea as to where I will be. But of five things I can be certain.
I will be happy
I will be working hard
I will be writing my heart away
I will be teaching English somewhere
I will be fulfilling my dreams
My dreams are not simple, they are not fluffy, and it will not be easy getting there.
But my dreams are enough.
I am enough.
:)
Smile today
Can't be undone-keep it moving
Loving another can be a word not said,
Someone can feel or see it instead.
Treating with care isn't dealt with in words,
But in caring and sharing your actions-moving forward.
Being loved isn't about the time it takes,
But in being there no matter where-patience waits.
Who am I to say I have loved,
To say I have cared-me being loved?
Why does it matter where we've been,
Just keep going-loving on the way
Slow going-growing.
Life can seem to be so mean,
Live, laugh, and love;
Your cares fly-by in the wind-far far away.
Regardless of the situation, life goes on.