samuel @thriftstoresushi - Tumblr Blog

my sons and i stared at a bug today for 20 minutes

sometimes i wish the void would ask me how im doing instead of relying on me just yelling

are you really married if your wife doesn’t just tolerate you

don’t mind me, just screaming into the void

i traded the sam and colby brain cell for one (1) corn chip.

no regrets

i gossip with emerson all the time about the cats, and their drama. she’s invested in this season of as the cat tree turns.

life is weird and wonderful and i am eternally grateful

don’t tell my wife how i look at @walmartcorpsevoice

kiss the homies happy valentine’s day 😘

hey guess what, i became a dad last night :)

emerson sage golbach made her grand entrance and i i think i like her more than my wife (who likes paramore more than me so it’s fair)

i feel like a hermit crab who made a soda can a home

man, having to be funny all the time is hard

thinking heavily about how someone brought up the point once that maybe rocks are squishy until we touch them

kind of feeling like a deflated party balloon

you know how it is ig

i just asked my wife if she’d like to be my valentine and she replied “let me get back to you on that”

i- ma’am you’re my WIFE??

the amount of times i’ve been woken up out of a dead sleep by my wife crying over animal crossing would be concerning for anyone other than me

samuel