YOUR WHOLE BODY DOING WHAT BIRDS DO BEFORE FLIGHT.

your whole body doing what birds do before flight.

[thrownsoul]

high above the smokestacks, throwing my soul, throwing my soul.

original character inspired by dc's blue beetle. written by zoe (90s kid, white, she/they). est. 2015.

inconsistent activity and slow reply. 21+.

🦋 rules. about. verses. 🪲 where to find. memes. wishlist. 🌻 nav. pinterest. spotify 1, 2.

[irun2u]

[driftvoid]

He hid his surprise at her words well – he was alright after all? Somehow he had thought it would take more convincing; somehow he had thought she would see behind a mask he often forgot he was wearing and see a person that should not be trusted. Did he want to be trusted? It was a question he hadn't been able to answer since his last companions had left him. Or since he had lost them. One tragic story following another and here he still was, picking up another human being to explore the universe he could offer, asking for nothing in return – except for maybe some of their humanity? It was a bitter thought he didn't wish to continue and thus just gave Alice a smile, that didn't quite reach his eyes, he had turned back to the traffic light anyway.

The moment the light changed to green, he fell back into a quick step; their mission not forgotten.

" – People are people no matter where you go. Similar ideas to what you have here on Earth are spread across the whole universe. Capitalism. Anarchy. Whatever you can name, you can find somewhere. Even if I don't recall any planet that matches your description, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Even I haven't seen it all yet." Somehow the thought was comforting and terrifying at the same time. Would he one day have seen it all, or would the universe cease to exist before he ever got a chance? He didn't know what was worse and decided it was another thought to not be finished.

"But once we've – solved this misunderstanding, we can go looking for whatever planet you desire." A big promise, made with another hint of a smile on his lips that couldn't reach his eyes. " – However, I feel like I have to tell you that NO, I did not acquire this TARDIS by simply having the privileges coming with being a Time Lord. I borrowed it a long time ago..."

[thrownsoul]

Oblivious to the effect of her trust, Alice plows ahead. But a thrill in his voice when he says even I haven't seen it all yet catches her attention—could be excitement, could be fear. Or both. She just knows she heard it before, when he started talking faster and faster about the scarab technology.

He must like his traveling a lot. The unknown, its discovery implied in the yet. Alice gets the same fix from helping people with their research, and she would have said that was enough. But right now—and since scarab—

She bounces from feeling to feeling, her adrenaline high, praying it stays that way. If flying around were her life, how hard would it be to come down?

"What I want could fill a library. Several libraries. The Chicago branch system. What do you want?" she asks, bluntly and without guile. Is investigating scarab the only reason he's trying to get her to come along?

"No one ever means borrow when they say borrow. I would know, I shared a bedroom with my sisters till I was eighteen." There's laughter in her eyes. "Are you wanted? Are you a space outlaw."

[phoenixspirits]

rory is steadfastedly ignoring the messy hole that is currently the back garden. instead he silently passes alice a cup of tea, sitting himself down in the armchair opposite her.

"i, um. yes. i hope so," he says, his words getting thoroughly tangled as he tries to process the compliment. "thanks."

"you don't have to apologise," he adds, more firmly. "it's not like you handpicked our place and thought, oh, that looks like a good place to crash. which, i mean, it kinda is a good place to crash. apparently."

well, admittedly, their little rented cottage is quarter of a mile down the road from amy's parents' house, and the shed that had never been rebuilt after the doctor crash-landed the TARDIS on top of it. rory supposes that proximity to the doctor does kinda increase the likelihood of strange goings on in leadworth. that doesn't make it any less statistically unlikely.

[thrownsoul]

she accepts the cup of tea gingerly, then holds it tight between both hands as if she can squeeze the warmth from it. she's been keeping her movements minimal, despite not having been injured in the crash. she should have been. yet the armor was barely dented.

alice shrugs, longing to burrow down into a blanket or a sweater or something. that's true. she didn't pick the spot. she didn't do it for fun.

"better than where i came from."

which is the last thing she wants to talk about, so she probably shouldn't have said it. her hasty attempt to change the subject is about as obvious as it could be, but she can't think about that without needing to talk to scarab. and every time she tries to probe for it, usually so present (unwanted!) at the back of her mind, a jolt like electricity hurts her brain.

"so. out-of-the-ordinary situations. you don't seem as surprised as—i mean, i think most people would totally freak out."

[thrownsoul]

@maybepeace / parker said: it was neat to see you so happy.

They freefall, no harness, no parachute. Alice can't hear a thing over the wind, but she doesn't need to, to know that Parker is shrieking with excitement. Alice is concentrating, silent, braced for the next part.

Khaji Ren says, << NOW. >>

Her wings spread in a bright flash, two long, thin pairs like a dragonfly's to change direction on a dime. On a hairpin. Alice's stomach drops out, though they're still a long way from the ground and prying eyes. They swoop. They run circles around the building. She's carrying Parker under the arms, and it's as if she weighs nothing.

This is her wish fulfillment, not Alice's. But for the first time, it's strange to Alice that she doesn't use her wings for fun.

Then they're back to the roof again. Alice does laugh, finally, as she sets Parker on her feet. The armor melts away. The wings linger, if only a moment longer.

"Well—that was something!"

Her animated expression dims by calling attention to it, as natural as the law of physics: things changed when they are observed. Alice will look at a person sometimes as if she can see through every mask. But to be seen, to find someone else's attention that real and close, always feels like getting caught.

What replaces the smile isn't unhappy, though. She can't speak again right away, still catching her breath. Mostly she's looking at Parker, as if looking takes all her might.

"I didn't know falling could be like that."

[milehighmechanic]

incredulity manages to slip through tony's expression. "believe me when i say i really hadn't put that much thought into it."

if anything, he'd been content to not know the anonymous stranger's secret identity, at least back when they were actually an anonymous stranger. it gave him plausible deniability. it's not like tony has any problem lying to the authorities, but if it's something he genuinely doesn't know, it's somewhat less likely to come back to bite him in the ass. ( wishful thinking, stark. )

at least he can be 97% sure alice doesn't want to kill him. that makes a change.

perhaps if alice stopped talking, tony's damaged pride or paranoia might be able to induce some kind of suspicion. as it is, this is getting up there in weirdest conversations he's ever had. and his dad came back from the dead.

"what is this, kindergarten? i don't hate you." his bemusement is a mirror of alice's own, at this point.

[thrownsoul]

maybe that should be humbling? as long as it doesn't cause them further problems down the road, she'll breathe a sigh of relief that it's out in the open. whether he cares as much as she thinks he should or not.

what is this, kindergarten? she smiles, very slightly and despite herself. "sometimes i think it is. the way y'all behave in this city."

okay, so—okay. great! "now that's cleared up, i'm going home." alice feels downright cheerful at the prospect. thank g-d this is over. "my next day off is thursday. you know where to find me."

an awkward wave, a calculation from scarab and a shimmer of wings, and she's ready to be gone.

[thrownsoul]

this image gets use whenever dc promises me new jaime things

[grocki]

sci fi is all about getting so scared and ripping tubes out of yourself. people miss this

[grocki]

sci fi is all about desperately trying to reclaim your violated bodily autonomy. it’s all about asserting that you are a being with agency, and you can choose what happens to your own person, even if that’s ripping tubes out of yourself. and also sometimes an alien is there

[thrownsoul]

@djdivius from here / thrownsoul: dance, sender sticks a hand out to receiver and invites them to dance.

coffi looks around before her eyes land back on alice's hand outstretched towards her. ❝ me? girl, i don't think you want me to bust a groove in this place. i might embarrass you. ❞

"by out-dancing me? yeah, probably."

she's already breathless and flushed, but if alice doesn't dance till her feet are falling off the bone, she considers her night wasted.

"you can't always be working."

[thrownsoul]

alice is sort of like if cassie and rachel had a baby [reading animorphs22]

[barrowbound]

the grass knocks her over in a cascade of giggles. her legs kick out like a little deer on its back.

"honey, honey, honey!" nól repeats in squealing, childish delight. "oh, you absolutely cannot trust the honey, either! nothing so sweet can be truthful. that is why you can't give babies honey, you know. they are too small and pure for its corruption!"

[thrownsoul]

she protests ineffectively through laughter. "none of that is true, you gremlin. why would you even ask honey to be truthful? that's not what it's for."

[thrownsoul]

if alice died but a clone was implanted with all of her memories would you still love her

[thrownsoul]

daily affirmation: someday alice will get cloned

[thrownsoul]

@djdivius from here / thrownsoul: cold, sender places their jacket over receiver's shoulders. does this make scarab more visible? possibly!

coffi scoffs, small smirk tugging the side of her lips. ❝ i'm not thaaat cold, but thank you. ❞ her eyes catch on the.. device on her friend's back, though it only half peeks out from the hem of her shirt. she knows better than to ask about potential medical procedures, but the thought slips out anyway. ❝ surgery stuff? ❞ she points at at alice's spine, as she shrugged the jacket up her shoulders. ❝ or maybe you're really into body mod stuff, who knows. ❞

"you looked cold."

she offered the jacket without thinking about it. it's a slip-up that most people don't remark on, out of the general discomfort around any type of body they can't easily categorize.

alice tilts her head. at the pointing finger, then at her face. she should have known coffi would be the one to ask. she's just more... free.

" 'who knows,' " she echoes. it's almost funny, the idea that alice herself might not know, like maybe she didn't notice when it happened. "did you want to keep guessing?"

[thrownsoul]

@phoenixspirits / rory said: it's not lost on me that your situation is a little out of the ordinary.

she can't help it: alice laughs, and immediately it turns into a hiccuping sob. she would probably bawl her stupid eyes out, and who knows if she would ever stop, if her self-conscious dislike of crying in front of people didn't get the better of her.

"yeah, a little," she finally says, wiping her face with both hands. "sorry."

sorry about the crying, sorry about the crash-landing, sorry for the crater and i hope that wasn't where you kept anything important.

but it's the kindness of the vast understatement that gets her. no panic, no frustration, just a quiet (pessimistic?) determination to make it through this, whatever 'this' is. he doesn't owe her anything; they're still practically strangers. that's kind. you'll never convince her otherwise.

"i bet you're a really good nurse. i mean it."

[thrownsoul]

@maybepeace / fynn said: where did you learn to shoot like that?

"Like what? Badly?"

Her voice is mostly flat, except for a slight waver.

The blood dissolves off her when the armor does, and immediately she feels small and weightless without them. She tries not to stagger, but the ground is unsteady under her.

Scarab has gone off and started blasting plenty of times—at things. She's punched and clawed and kicked her way out messes, too. But firing an energy weapon on a human being, not really point-blank but close enough to get dirty, is a new one for her. (Them.) (Her.)

"Are you okay?"

It sucks how much she needs reassurance from him, even knowing he can heal and, well, the other guy—can't.

"Fynn, I don't think I like the people you have beef with. I really didn't like that."

[spectracle]

“no — no,” alison corrects sans haste, then she allows a slow smile to work its way across her face; head tilting, a quiet chuckle leaving her lips anyway. “not out of line at all, alice. you’re more than welcome to speak your mind, darlin’.”

“it’d be just as easy for me too,” dazzler adds, contemplating. “i’m a singer, not a fighter. team recruitment invites are, at worst, annoyin’ — but nothin’ i can’t tune out,” she glances alice’s way. “your case, however…”

“— i do trust you to have a solid sense of judgement, there’s no doubt there,” alison says with a smile, though there is still a pause, waiting for the other shoe to be dropped. “just that you are still someone the x-men would try to reach out towards, anyway.”

“the whole ‘we’re all mutants’ sentiment falls apart real fast when you look past the hype and see who’s in the government,” the sigh she heaves is entwined with something that feels close to resentment lingering, or — disappointment, more aptly. “who gets to be on the island and who doesn’t. apparently. there’s no hard or fast or consistent rules,” if there are still any being followed on that chessboard of superheroic gambling and politics.

another sigh, this time to shake it out of her system as dazzler runs a hand through her hair, casual.

“back to our original topic, though; i don’t think it’s got anythin’ to do with superheroic brandin’ in the least, if i’m bein’ honest,” she says, looking at alice. “the multiverse is real, along with the alternate timelines and realities and what-have-you; i just don’t get where ‘pocket universe’ falls on that map, yet.”

[thrownsoul]

"well, that's a relief." that she isn't talking out of turn, anyway. "not the x-men part." first of all, if they try to recruit her, that's their poor judgment, because she's barely trained. second, how does she know she wants the kind of training they could offer? and that's not even touching the island.

"i'm not saying the multiverse isn't real. i just don't think people understand it. or know what the hell they're talking about. that's why they use metaphors like pockets, but the universe isn't a jacket they can try on and take off as many times as they like. it's hard to study objectively."

"or else we've just established that i'm not a scientist. you should talk to my sister."