This is exactly what I’ve been trying and failing to articulate for the last year or so.
Speaking as someone on the very peripheral of SPN fanworks - who has dipped their toes into creating fanart, edits, and beta-ing other people’s incredible fanfic, but who is predominantly a consumer - if your love of The Thing you’re creating has become about the numbers, then you’re treating the real people still behind those engagements on your works as a form of currency for your time and effort. NOT as joint lovers of The Thing, and not as other fandom enthusiasts looking to connect with a part of their community.
You speak about feedback ratios per work, and compare engagement thresholds, as if by not meeting this standard you’ve set for your “followers”, we are impacting your livelihood.
Those of us who are out here sitting quietly off to the side, still hanging around after all these years, maybe even wanting to try our hand at creating our OWN stuff one of these days - we’re PEOPLE. We have our own lives, different reasons for engaging or not engaging, different energy levels for responding to something often used as an escape, and this all varies day to day, month to month, year to year.
We do not exist, online or within fan communities, to feed your fucking ego.
In fact, it is actively off-putting to the people who are still here, who do try to engage, to have people labelling themselves and their friends “Big Name Fans” talking down to us, and chastising us for having the audacity to… what? Not prevent other people from leaving online spaces? Guilt-tripping us into feeling like we are responsible for your ongoing love of, or lack of enthusiasm for, creating?? Rather than recognising that sometimes it’s okay to fall out of love with something.
Whether it’s creating, responding to other people’s work, or continuing to watch a show altogether, that is a choice that’s up to all of us to make individually. It is not a passion I can transfer over to you through buttons on a keyboard, because if you’re relying on me to make you want to create in the first place (when I can’t even kick myself into being productive on a good day), then you’ve already lost your love of The Thing that initially inspired you to go out on a limb at the beginning.
Maybe you haven’t realised it yet, maybe you don’t agree, maybe you resent me for even suggesting it. But what made you want to engage, at the start? Was it someone telling you that you weren’t doing enough, that you were hurting other people by NOT engaging, that you better start trying harder or else?
I’m aware that this is going to sound incredibly ungrateful to those of you who have put years of your love into something, only to watch part of the feedback and the rewards inexplicably plummet recently, but I’m not a “BNF”. I’ve got nothing to lose. If I ruffle the feathers of Very Important Fandom People, then so be it, it’s not like I was on your radar as more than an “insufficient commenter” in the first place if you’re sitting there agreeing with OP.
People don’t owe you SHIT - the world doesn’t owe you shit - for fandom creativity and transformative engagement. It’s meant to be for the love of whatever inspired you to begin with! And if people show up for that? Awesome! And if people start to trickle away? Less awesome, I get that, I do - but there is an end to every season. This is, unfortunately, how non-for-profit creative endeavours on the internet often go. It’s not malicious, and it’s not about a lack of caring or gratitude from the people who are still here!
What it also does not mean, is that you should be turning around, and trying to shame other parts of the same community for not paying you enough of your Local Fan Community Currency (likes, kudos, comments, reblogs, retweets, shout-outs, reciprocal fanworks, WHATEVER). Especially if you’re going to be a fucking hypocrite about it, and resent people when they do appreciate what you’ve made and then ask for more!
I would actually rather you leave, if that’s what’s best for you!! If it’s become all about the numbers, about competing for likes, kudos, and comments, then do yourself a favour, and give yourself permission to either take a break or walk away. I engage when I can, and I want you to do the same. I do not want someone whose work I admire to put themselves through something they’re not finding rewarding, just so I can switch my brain off and unwind for an hour or so.
Do you really want people commenting on something you wrote, begging you to stay, because they’re scared they won’t get their weekly updates of a fic regardless of whether you want to be writing it or not? Wouldn’t you rather know that the people who reblog your art, and praise the particular linework of that hand, are doing so because they actually admire something about it? When did we stop believing in “Don’t like? Don’t engage.” Or even “Like the same stuff? Engagement would be appreciated, but no pressure!”
When I’ve had a good day, when something you’ve made truly touches me, when work doesn’t have me too busy, when being a carer for a grandparent doesn’t distract me in the middle of appreciating your work, when my anxiety isn’t overwhelming me, or when I feel like I actually have something worthwhile to say, I try to give back some of that love. I have gotten something invaluable from my favourite fanworks, I’ve made friends through this community, people who have helped save my life, and I will ALWAYS be grateful.
But I am not your fluffer. I am not meant to be the source of your creative passion. And most of all, you shouldn’t want me to be.