ana

[tianaanait]

ah god, i miss you dude

[tianaanait]

i wonder whats behind this. the brainstorming

"man two dudes one blind one being wholeheartedly nice to him. ey ey ill be the blind man, and you girl you be the saint and you cure me and we would fly. and i got someone who could do some effect shid ya man. thatd be frikin cool man"

eh?

[tianaanait]

draft [2016]

the writing too good to delete

to the person i used to love

hey, how are you? i hope everything went well. things are pretty decent with me. like usual, still waiting on your call 24/7. i didnt make friends, i didnt go outside to have fun, i didnt waste money to fill my ego with such bullshit materialistic, i enjoy being alone now... i enjoy reading books, i enjoy watching some cliche drama, i enjoy slow music.... very slow sometimes i forgot ive drowned in tears remembering you, missing you, missing us. but hey, if i stayed like this ill hurt people around me, people who genuinely care about me, who love me. and it will hurt me too. sometimes i wonder how can you say you loved me, if you did love me, being faithful is easy right? care about the girl you love must be your priority right? atleast knowing how was her day would makes your day a little bit, like how i felt about you. but dont worry, love me or not. its was perfect. i missed it. i miss it even it wasnt real.

[tianaanait]

i hope i never met you man

things went down like oblivion after i met you

it hurts

it hurts so much its insane

[softheartedsuggestion]

you’re not selfish for wanting to be treated well

[4dr3n41ine]

please don’t cheat on anyone, they will never be the same. Aside from trauma you’ll affect their future relationships and cause them to develop severe trust issues against the people they come in contact with. It’s wrong and it’s evil and it’s not fair when someone looks at you with happiness and brightness in their eyes and you hurt them in ways they’d never hurt you.

[sasaq]

[rolodextra]

[notmakoto]

bro, bro ur hand looks heavy. let me hold it for u.

[tianaanait]

if things not going to work between us

i wish i could move on sooner than i expected

we dont have to be friends

we dont have to talk to each other again

we dont have to talk about our past and our future anymore

let me work on myself, heal my self. properly this time

i wish i never met you man. i wish i dont have to go to bandung that day

not meeting your friends

and family

goodbye my friend. ive learned my lesson.

[tianaanait]

[tianaanait]

jika tau sakitnya akan sehebat ini

saya tak akan maju melangkah untuk mendekatinya.

ingat saat saya bilang kalau saya sepertinya tertarik denganmu

tertarik karena akhirnya dunia ini tak sebobrok kelihatannya.

saya akan berjalan, mungkin akan berlawanan arah

berlawanan arah denganmu.

semoga dunia membayar keindahanmu.

jika tidak.

terima kasih setidaknya kau sempat mengindahkan hidup ini

hidup saya. maupun sependek-pendeknya itu yaitu sepekan.

[tianaanait]

this dude is something else

[tianaanait]

To you, i hope one day youre reading this

I been thinking about you often these days

But i refuse to have another conversation

Another hello that always ends with goodbye

My day was great, my months without you also been great. Im sure you are too.

The last goodbye we had was another open door to us.

Mine change, i know it was always about depressingly missing you but also hating you. But this time i pray for all the best thing happening to you.

This time “i hope youre okay”

Yesterday i had a dream, your buddy told me youre passed away. I cried so hard, i felt the worst loss ive ever had, i woke up had my chest so heavy, scared that it was real.

Then I realize how much i want you to still alive, how much i want you to be happy.

It was always so bad between us, mainly your depression. Mainly because im still around.

Id rather see you happy with someone else

Than finding out that youre dead.

Im fine, im still living. I hope youre happy, healthy and living.

Id love to see you with your wife or husband and with your beautiful kids in a beautiful house oneday.

Id be so proud that the man i loved is so successful in life, happy, no more depression, no more toxic people around you.

Ana

[tianaanait]

I found some of draft-post

Damn ana, i hope you know that 3 months later you are all better. Excited about life again, excited about love again. You have a hugeeeee insecurity about your appearance. Like really dude? Last months 4 guys asking you out and they said they’ve been waiting for so long just to talk to you.

Yeah i know I still love him, deeply. I prayed for him everyday so he will get better with his back pain and his depression and so on. Im sure things are great with him.

But so are you

[tianaanait]

I havent been this melt for a loooong time.

Damn boy

[neulina]

Riz Ahmed in Nightcrawler (2014)

[tianaanait]

spotify randomly play an indonesian old “hit” song....

astagfirullah. why do i listen to this.

but its gud