[killhitleragain]

[amberautumnfaebrooke]

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

[sociallyawkwardrevolution]

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

[olicrosse]

[cephalopodvictorious]

fixed it

[star-thief]

[lesvegas]

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

[lesvegas]

literally how it feels

[welpnotagain]

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[calellon]

free use tumblr mutual

[swanlakereturns]

[urboymutual]

daily affirmations: no body hate you. everybody niceys

[chirasul]

there's like 10,0000,0 accounts with names like "Best Heritage Posts" and "Tumblr Hall Of Fame Posts" and "So Funny Hellsite Posts" but where's the shitty posts accounts. where's the hall of fail accounts. i want to see the worst of the worst

[shitidiotloserheritageposts]

heritage post

[chirasul]

come on man

[notahorseindisguise]

"its a living" <- guy who has a job it hates

"its'a living!' <- dr mario frankenstein

[cuppydogshane]

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

[release-the-sheep]

just witnessed something devastating

guy on the subway with one ear pierced, little gold hoop. other guy on the subway very quickly and subtly googling "which one is the gay ear". it is not the gay ear. visible disappointment on his face as he puts his phone away.

[sforzzz]

im gonna make it big someday just you watch

[sforzzz]

*goes back to jerkin it*

[sforzzz]

waaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitt

[inaturalist-unofficial]

[oneheadtoanother]

[soreheadinamblemood]

[samlickereightyone]

in another life i wouldve really liked doing medical malpractice with you