Tie-Dye Panic

Blogging my life away!

[dreamlightasafeather]

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

Here is an example video

[t-pose-to-assert-gayness]

Reblog to literally save a life

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

I’ve done this.  I’m alive because of this. 

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

They’ve heard this sort of coded call before.  They’re trained for it.  They will understand what you’re saying.  Order the pizza.

[torios]

Really though. I’m in training for dispatch and this was one of the first things they taught us. Pretend you’re talking to a friend or relative, pretend you’re ordering pizza, we’ll figure it out. We’ll word questions so you can answer in an easy, casual way. Please, just make the call and we will do everything we can to help you.

[skelatal-remains-deactivated201]

Reblog to save a life

[lesbiantenets]

This is so sweet. 😭 (x)

[butchdarry-deactivated20180612]

y’all I keep seein all the “2018 is the year of gettin a gf” posts etc, etc. and that’s all well and good but I just wanna say pls be safe and self aware in ur realationship. don’t rush into things, don’t fixate on a single relationship, don’t stay in a bad relationship just for the sake of having a gf. ily all pls stay safe

[lgyuyhjkh-deactivated20180118]

to parents who have trans kids

• do not say that it’s “just a phase”, that’s invalidating their gender and making them feel insecure about themselves. • do not guilt trip them. when they’re excited about some new clothes, or a new haircut, or whatever that makes them feel less dysphoric, do not destroy that joy with “sad looks” or anything that makes them feel guilty. • do not threaten them - in any way possible. i find it fascinating in the worst of ways that i need to say this. threats hurt their feelings, make them feel scared and also you’re damaging the trust they have for you. don’t do that. • do not force them to be who they aren’t. it’s not a mistake, or something remotely bad, to be transgender. forcing them to change can cause severe stress on them. • don’t blame them for your transphobia. whatever happens, it isn’t your child’s “fault” - it is yours for being bigoted. • do not out them without their consent. this is a dangerous society for trans people, and doing that out of spite would be cruel and reckless. • love them and support them, respect them and take care of them. they need your support. learn with them, make them feel safe. that’s what we need the most. tl;dr: we already live in a transphobic society. make it easier for us to love ourselves.

[cwote]

be unapologetically you.

[queerlysad]

[sunmied]

some people find out they’re lesbian at sixteen and others at sixty. some people find out they’re trans at thirty. some people find out they’re not gay but bi after years of only dating men. people change. and that’s okay.

it’s perfectly fine to think you’re one thing and turn out to be another. nobody’s pressuring you to conform to whatever society wants you to be. be who you want or who you are. do whatever. it’s your life.

[tiedyepanic-blog]

A new year...on the brink.

So today not only marks the end of the year, but also the passing of another birthday for me. Today marks 35 years of learning who I am and who I am not.

Many of you out there are still experiencing this journey for yourselves. Many of you have only just started taking your first steps. I am here to tell you that even years after you begin, you will still surprise yourself. You will find new hidden pieces that you thought had fallen into place ages ago. You will suddenly discover that pieces that fit in one place may also fit into other places as well.

I fought for years inside my own head, trying to justify my actions, trying to force myself into a mold that would never fully shape me. I denied myself the truth.

I am pansexual. It seems a simple enough statement. It is direct. But, learning that for myself took many trial and error moments. It took many heartbreaks . It took countless nights of self doubt.

I have been told what I am, what I am not, what I should be, what I could be, but never simply taken at my own word. I have been questioned, lectured, and interrogated, but never believed.

And here is still stand.

There are resolutions to be made, children to raise, a spouse to love and support, and my own dreams and aspirations to attempt to achieve. And all of you are in my thoughts tonight.

I hope you all the best, in whatever for that may take for you personally. I pray you are all safe. I  wish for your happiness.

If at any time you need to reach out, have questions, or need support, we are here.

[tiedyepanic-blog]

Ma'am

For a very long time now I have had a problem with the word "Ma'am".

   I come from a very southern upbringing where I was forced to call women older than myself "Ma'am" out of respect. Respect that was forced and not earned.

   I have a  background in the military. The word "Ma'am" was used to denote a female officer. Someone with more rank than I. Someone I was again forced to show respect and deference to without that respect having been earned.

   This word squicks me out.

   Don't get me wrong. I don't have a problem with other people using the word out of choice. I just don't believe in forcing others to use it. I have taught the brood the proper usage of the word and have no issues when they choose to use it. I just don't force them to.

   It goes deeper:

   Living in Texas puts me in direct firing range of this word on a daily basis. And though I can understand and respect the users intention when they use this word I am still left with an uneasy feeling in my gut when it is lofted in my direction. Especially when I'm with my husband.

   Cashier: Thank you Ma'am.

   Me: automatically replies "You're welcome" and then has a tiny panic attack as I glance back at my husband.

   Hubby: looks to me for some clue as to whether the cashier has been speaking to me directly or has mis-gendered him.

   Me: takes his arm or makes some sort of body contact in an effort to ease his concern and reaffirm his masculinity.

   Hubby: gives me that half smile I have come to understand means "I hate that."

   Me: smiles back lovingly attempting to draw his attention away from the world at large and make him feel more secure.

   Cashier: oblivious as to the exchange that has just taken place in front of them.

   Nearly every time we go shopping, eat out, or interact with the public.

   And then there is the never ending fun of buying alcohol.

   It never fails that if there is alcohol being purchased that the person selling it automatically turns to look at me for approval. Why you ask. Because my husband is so baby faced that they assume that I am his mother.  I have actually been asked by a server in a restaurant if I was going to allow my under aged son to drink! The frustration on this one is never ending because after affirming that my husband can drink, is carded and therefore outted by the gender marker on his I.D., the server will inevitably say "I'm so sorry Ma'am."

   So the word nearly always leaves me feeling old, panicked, or has the implied connotation that I am a cradle robber.

   I prefer the term "Miss" on myself, but there is no avoiding the discomfort on my husbands face upon hearing this term as well because it still leaves us both questioning who it was intended for.

   In this day and age there is allot of conflict over pronouns and titles and how best to use them.  Sometimes I think its just easier to leave a "Thank you" open ended, but the south has its' own culture and way of speaking. And sometimes, intended respect leaves the receiver feeling anything but respected.

[tiedyepanic-blog]

Welcome

In the word at large, it's easy enough for us to get lost in the crowd, with or without the help of modern technology, talk soup, and new age advice. There is no end to the countless pages of streaming information or the mountains of articles that induce self dissection. Yet, here we are at the pinnacle of the age of technology with no more knowledge than what we started with.

   How do we find ourselves? When we do find ourselves, how do we discover ourselves? When we discover ourselves, how do we label ourselves?

   What do we do when the only labels available don't quite fit?

   We all fly a flag. Some of us have a very particular flag that fits us very well. Others, well our flag is strange, even to us. Our flag may look like a patchwork of some flags and not others. Some flags look like a kaleidoscope of colors and shapes.

   Some of us are Tie-Dye. Our flag looks like a blend of color and pattern. Each one as different and unique as the experiences that brought us to the point in our lives that we are currently at.

      Here at Tie-Dye Panic no matter the flag or it's arrangement of color and pattern, we will endeavor to find ourselves and find each other

[gobsthegoblin]

self care for when you hit rock bottom

i fucking hate self care posts made by neurotypicals so here’s one from someone who Actually Gets It

-can’t shower or take a bath? me either. dry shampoo can make your hair look and feel cleaner, and baby wipes or makeup wipes work great to get the top layer of grime off your skin.

-can’t wash your sheets and make your bed? i feel you. push your blankets out of the way and shake the crumbs off your sheet. it will at least be a bit more comfortable.

-can’t even change out of your dirty pajamas? been there. hit yourself with some febreeze and a lint roller. if you can, brush your hair. if you can’t, hair ties and bobby pins are fantastic.

-can’t make anything to eat? same. if you can, there’s no shame in ordering food. in fact, it’s probably better you eat something rather than go hungry. if you can’t, try and find something that comes pre-made or takes minimal effort to make. at the very least, drink some water.

can’t respond to messages or reach out for help? yeah, i get that. set an alarm for a few hours from now and respond to any messages you need to once you’ve given yourself time to prepare. if they’re Important Messages that need Professional Responses, you can find fill-in-the-blank format rough drafts on google. as far as personal messages go, don’t feel bad for sending a mass “I’m sorry, I’m in a personal emergency right now. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” response to everyone.

-can’t even sleep because it’s so bad? asmr videos always knock me out, personally, but i also watch a lot of bob ross. just try to find something quiet and soothing to use as background noise and take your mind off it, or at least give you a more peaceful environment to think about it.

-can’t go for a walk/drive? try opening the blinds or curtains. you’re still exposing yourself to the outside world. baby steps. (i also play animal crossing or sims; it may be virtual but fuck it. i went on a walk.)

-can’t go into work/school? let people know. let your coworkers or classmates know it’s an emergency and you can’t make it. give yourself up to two days, but then you have to go back. ask to have your work emailed to you so you know what you missed.

-can’t brush your teeth and wash your face? makeup or baby wipes and gum or mouthwash. don’t let yourself physically rot bc you’re rotting emotionally.

-remember that you’ve been here before. if you survived then you can survive now. that’s what this is about- survival. you don’t have to be living your Best Life. right now, it’s more than enough that you’re alive.

[sweetdickheadass]

This is the only self car masterpost I’ve ever seen that is feasible for severe depressive episodes

[tooiconic]

Wwwwwoooowww needed this

[wholesome-suggestion]

things i recommend for a brighter 2018!

drink water everyday! ok ok….you probably get told this all the time…but really! i recommend that you get a big cute water bottle (i put stickers all over mine so it will feel more personalized) and fill it in the morning, drink it all; refill it in the afternoon; drink it all; then refill it in the evening. mark the bottle with times when you want to have drunk that much. water helps clear not only your skin but also your mind!

treat yo’self to an expensive (or affordable) perfume! smelling good in the morning will just make your day the slightest bit easier. i feel rather sluggish and not too confident in the morning. but when i spritz myself with a fav scent i feel 10x better! 2 favs at the moment that are on both ends of the money scale are: snowy morning from bath and body works ($) and glossier you from glossier ($$$). there’s just something so lovely about when a person compliments how you smell.

keep a calendar/planner! i have to admit this one is VERY hard for me! i buy a super cute planner and after january i just keep forgetting to fill it! but join me in trying to keep one for 2018!!! there is something so so so satisfying about having your month laid out for you. you will feel so organized and put together! (and your grades will thank u too.)

get yourself an essential oil diffuser! so i have one of these bad boys and when i put in some orange scented oil i just get this happy scent that is literally liquid sunshine! peppermint and eucalyptus help with focusing and lavender can relax you! oils have so many benefits and can really improve your mood and function!

(if you wear makeup) clean out your makeup collection! i’m a makeup fiend and i always discover that i have way more makeup than i actually use! take everything out of your bags and drawers and decide what has to go and what can  stay. this will really create a more peaceful work area for you and will clear your mind. clutter is never good!! (to recycle: let your friends go through the makeup you don’t use and let them have some! they will be so happy and you will be decluttering in an earth friendly way)

start journaling! journaling doesn’t have to be hard or even extremely poetic. just write down your current thoughts and get them out onto paper! this is fantastic because not only are you putting your thoughts into reality but you are also creating something to look back on in the future to see how far you have come.

love! learn to see every little thing with love. stop looking at people with judgement as this hurts you more than it could ever hurt them. by having love in your heart and in your mind you will be radiating a bright light that will draw people towards you! its all in mindset, make sure yours is a lovely one.

talk to someone everyday! whether it be someone new or an old friend make sure you interact with someone everyday if you can! this will make you feel so warm and connected! plus it will help you improve your social confidence.

set goals every morning, doesn’t matter how small! make a list of things you HAVE to do every morning. it can be huge like writing a paper or an interview or it can be small like taking a shower or eating something healthy. have something to do everyday so you can go to bed feeling fulfilled.

realize your worth! this is a toughie but its important! make it your goal this 2018 to realize that you truly mean something to everyone around you and you have so much potential to do good in this world. you aren’t just a nobody you are a somebody who has a lot of talent and love in their heart.

[alienish-propinquity]

I called the Trans Lifeline today.

I was having some issues with my parents, mostly my dad, and once they left the house, I grabbed the phone. The first time I called, no one answered. A robotic voice said something along the lines of “We’re sorry, no one is able to talk to you right now. Please try again later.” So I did. 10 minutes of petting my cat later, I tried again. I was met with someone who said ‘Welcome to the trans lifeline. How may I help you?’ and little me just went “….Hi. I’ve never done this before..” and they laughed and told me what the do- they’re a group of transgender people who will happily help any transgender person who calls. Its for crisis’s or just any issues. They will offer resources and will only call authorities if you give them permission. I introduced myself- my age, name and pronouns/identity. The man introduced himself at Jim (Or John, the connection was kind of bad), he was also transgender male, and we talked for a bit. I told him about my family and experiences, and he was very helpful. He gave me a few numbers in my state that are helpful for me, and I almost cried. We talked for about 20 minutes before my parents got home. I panicked and was like ‘Hnghn my parents are home I really need to go.” and he was like “Okay, Alex. Call back if you need to, I hope this was helpful.” He was totally used to people needed to go quickly, and I felt so much better. 

Trans Lifeline -  877-565-8860

I highly suggest calling this number if you need someone to talk to. It helped more than I thought it would.

[sexedplus]

[daintyy-doll-deactivated2017021]

This is so fucking important to understand. All of it.

[pansexualityisperfect]

Completely agree, the coming out process is a unique experience for everyone.

[tiedyepanic-blog]

Woe for my hair...

So in a tragic work related accident, my hair had to be cut off....very short. I don’t really mind the short hair, it's just that it wasn't my choice. On a side note I am now forced to leave my oh so very warm bed, much, much to early to now tame my unruly locks.

[tiedyepanic-blog]

Yesterday was a small, but important victory for us. After nearly two years my step father called my spouse "Sir"!

[studyblr]

tag yourself student edition

who cares: reads books in class instead of listening, attention span of 5 seconds when studying, generally starts studying in the day before, lost all their new fancy pens by week 2, still somehow gets A*, sometimes starts arguing with the teacher

i can and i will: motivated af, watches legally blonde 24/7, big dreams and aspirations, bullet journal is goals, sometimes very forgetful but makes up for it through very hard work, wants to figure out everything by themselves before asking for help

hello my name is stressed: signed up for 10000 extracurriculars and can’t get out of them now, time management god, hates the glorification of all-nighters but stays up until 6 am anyway, has the highest expectations regarding themselves, needs a hug

aesthetics TM: desperately wants their notes to look perfect, spends all their money on stationery, loves to doodle, PUNS, is great in one specific class, always tries to help their friends with homework, study playlists!!!, can still easily feel overwhelmed and lost but they try and that’s enough

what: has lost their motivation somewhere along the way, has no idea what’s going on, “there was homework”, messy notes and messy life, really wants school to end, hates the education system, has no idea what they want to do after school tho