This is Mariel's side blog. Everything written inside of here should only be taken OOC unless you're personally told otherwise by Mariel's writer. As always, everything written on this tumblr is for the purpose of role play. I am in no way associated with Mariel Loveland and I in no way claim to be her in real life. If you are not part of this role play do not follow this blog as it will only be confusing for you and myself. Thank you.
Mariel read the email on her phone for the 40th time, she couldn't believe this was happening. How could they, she had put this all behind her, she had kids, she didn't want to be involved in this and there were fans? What kind of fans could she of gotten from such few videos but apparently there were. She had felt a sinking feeling in her stomach the whole time she had been getting ready.
While Mariel knew no one should actually hurt her at this event, it acted much like any other convention, she just hoped that no one recognized her as who she was today with the band. So she covered up her colored hair with a long brown wig to make herself look a bit like who she had been back then. Mariel hated this, she hated having this reminder of how she had lost her virginity, how she had made stupid choices all because of money.
When she pulled up to the center she could feel her heart pound, surprised when someone who worked there greeted her. She was lead back stage and was given the run down about the panel she was to be on. This didn't feel right, she wanted to be back at the hotel with her babies. She just hoped to God that Michael didn't leave their sides, she couldn't let anything happen to her twins.
Two hours, she had to be here for two hours. She didn't know how she'd get through but she had to, for her family. Taking a deep breath she looked around and waited with the others before being told to go inside. When they had she stepped forward, praying that two hours moved fast.
Wow, I didn't realize it has been so long since I've written in here. So I suppose that there are things I should catch up on, at least so I can reflect and remember them later down the line. Which was how I was going to start this entry anyways. The end of the year is coming up quickly and it's made me really look back on everything that's happened this year.
First with the band working harder than we ever have before, putting out a biggest selling record to date and touring almost none stop. I really was away from home more than I think I've ever been in these past few years. Big red broke down even more while on the road than normal and all of us are too poor and too stubborn to give up on her just yet. We've had things stolen out of our van and we've met kind people who have helped us along the way. So for the band, I think I can say it's been a pretty decent year.
Next, I met Micheal.... the love of my life, my husband. It's crazy to think that we've only really been together six months and these days that seems to be really fast for some people but I don't care. I knew from the moment I met him we had something special, even if it's had it's ups and downs. I've never laughed louder or cried harder than when I've been in his arms. All in good ways of course. Now we're married and I really can't wait to see what this new year has in store for us. I know it's going to be a crazy rode because not only are we starting married life together, we're expecting our first little one.
Which leads me into the next part, I'M PREGNANT! We are overjoyed and I took about six tests just to be sure. I'm nervous and excited all at once and Michael has been a dream with being willing to fulfill my cravings at one in the morning. And now I'm nervous because he pointed out it could be twins, that thought hadn't even crossed my mind. Sure I'm a twin but it doesn't mean I'll have any. Though apparently the numbers do go up if you're a fraternal twin so.... I'm not going to worry about it until the doctor does all the looking and tells us. It's scary enough to think about one kid but dealing with two.... well... we shall see.
Next year is going to bring a lot of happiness and a lot of bumps. More tours and balancing having the kid(s) and being apart from Michael when we have to be. But I've seen others do it and come out just as strong on the other side. So I know it's possible. We'll get there and 2015 is going to be our year.
Also, she doesn't know it yet, but I'm going to ask Hayley to be the God Mother.
Tony told me today that Michael is worried I don't want to marry him anymore. If only he really knew. I know things have seemed distant lately but with being out of the country and planning a surprise wedding, my time has been completely taken up. Not to mention the fact that when I'm awake he's asleep. So even if I did call him I'd just be waking him up. I miss him so much but I also want to enjoy my first time here. But I also want to take care of him.
Oh Michael... please just make it through another week. Then fest will be here and there will be so many surprises that you'll just... you'll understand then.
This isn't exactly the layout but it's close. I can't wait to see it in person. Everything is just coming together so nicely. I can't wait to show the ideas to Michael. All of this is going to be amazing.
I feel so nervous. I know I shouldn't be, I should be enjoying my time over seas. Which I am but.... there is just so much going on in my head. Everything needs to be perfect, it really does. I won't forgive myself if it's not.
Ever since the engagement, Michael and I have been going back and forth about what we should do for the wedding. I feel guilty because I've basically shot down all the ideas that he's had but I just don't want a crazy expensive wedding. Every idea he's had is some huge beautiful idea, which is great but it's also scary. I never realized how hard it is to plan a wedding until I started trying to. Trying to pick a date that all the important people you want to be there can be there. Maybe my problem is I'm trying to cater to everyone else. I'm trying to make them comfortable when I should be saying "this is what I want and this is how it's going to happen" but I have always had a hard time doing that. Oie, this is complicated, if only I could think of a way...... omg... why didn't I think of this before, I just had the perfect idea!!!!
I'll update soon, first to talk to Tony and Hayley. I just hope this goes off without a hitch.
Michael asked me to marry him last night, he even got Tony and Hayley in on it to help him. Here I thought we were just celebrating and having dinner with our best friends, when suddenly they all ditch me at the table. For a moment I was worried, wondering if I was going to get stuck with the bill haha. But when the waiter I flagged down came back he said it was all paid for and I followed the clues.
It couldn't of been more perfect, note after note telling me how much he loved me. Then to hear him sing to me with Hayley while Tony backed them up on guitar. It felt like a priceless moment, one that I'm so glad I got to share with our best friends. The ring is amazing, I still can't believe it. It's beautiful, unlike any other ring I've ever seen. Hell I'm kind of jealous of me at the moment haha.
The whole night was perfect, he's perfect. Even with my past he accepts me for who I am. He forgives my past, he knows why I had to do it and he.... he takes care of me. I couldn't ask for a better man to be my husband. I can't believe it.
Things feel... difficult at the moment. I don't really know how to explain it. Micheal and I.... it just feels hard. I love him and I want to be with him but sometimes I just don't feel like I'm good enough. Being apart a lot with tour doesn't help because i know he'd like more time together. Seeing each other at fest every three weeks doesn't seem to be enough for him. I get that but at the same time knowing he's only three weeks away makes me work so much harder so I can get to him. It gives me something to look forward to i guess. I don't know... I just feel like a baby. He's the best thing to ever happen to me. I just want to get through the rest of tour and get to him. I just hope he doesn't get too lonely without me.
Growing up, I was the bully. I never really sought out to be, it just kind of happened. At first I let myself believe it was self defense because I knew kids were talking behind my back but really it was because I was insecure. Growing up a twin isn't easy. Though we're not identical we were often compared to each other, including by our parents. Tina was always the pretty one or the smart one or the popular one. I always had to work my ass off just to make friends.
So eventually I started picking on new kids. Instead of being kind and trying to be their friend, I'd make them as miserable as I was, of course this is something I regret to this day. It wasn't until I was 13 that I was my own person, I didn't need to define myself by what Tina did and thankfully that changed what my high school experience probably would of been if I had stayed the same.
I like being a kinder person even if it is hard sometimes when people try to bully me now. These days if you don't have the same opinion as others than they just want to knock you down a few begs. It's hard working for buzznet then reading comments that I'm not a feminist because I'm a bit more on the girly side. Feminism is about equality and letting women choose if they want to be in the work place or at home with a kid. Not saying we're better than men. Though that message seems to be lost on a lot of people.
They say kids are harsh but really, a lot are just copying what they see their parents do. Because I can tell you, adults are far worse. They have more means, more space, more ways to just get in your face and tell you that you're wrong. And sadly with the internet I see more and more kids do it too. With no punishment at all because they can hide behind fake faces. The lack of common sense and kindness I see in the world these days just breaks my heart. I can always hope they see the error of their ways like I did but who knows.
The first day of Marielâs freshman year of high school was scary to say the least. She was headed to a brand new school with a bunch of people she didnât know and half of her friends wouldnât even be there. It also didnât help that her best friend had moved away in the middle of the summer so it really felt like she was doing this all alone. Mariel just hoped that she could make it through the day without falling on her face or attracting any unwanted attention from the wrong people.
Walking through the doors of her brand new school, Mariel held her breath. The week before school started she had registered and had gotten her locker number and her class list. So since she didnât want to carry all of her things, she decided to stop by her locker first. Getting her books from her bag she stuffed it into her locker, closing it to find that a friend from middle school was just two lockers down.
âStacy!â she said happily walking over. âI wasnât sure if you were coming here or going to Lincoln.â Mariel was excited to have at least one friend here so far. âShow me your class list, maybe we have something together!â
Looking over their lists she found that they had their last three classes together. This made Mariel happy but also nervous for the first half of the day. As the day went on Mariel found that she had at least one friend in each of her classes. It made choosing a seat easier and at least having a homework buddy was nice. By the end of the day she figured that high school wasnât going to be too bad. But then again it was only the first day, anything could happen.
Since Mariel spent her life growing up in New Jersey most family vacations were spent going to Coney Island or driving to upstate New York to see family. The trips always seemed to be a lot of fun as a kid. Mariel and her twin sister playing in the back of the car while their family drove into the city. Then after theyâd get to Coney Island they were spoiled with enough junk food that once or twice they had thrown up after a ride. But as the girls got older and their parents changed jobs, summers were spent at home on the phone or playing video games.
Mariel would often look back on the last family vacation with fond memories. The girls were turning 15 and had been asked if they could do anything they wanted for their birthday what would they choose. Being sarcastic teenagers at that point the girls said Disneyland, knowing it would never happen. They figured theyâd have some sleepover with their friends and watch movies all night like they normally did. After all Disneyland was across the country and neither of them had been on a plane before.
A week before their birthday their parents called them into the living room, sitting them down on the couch. They told the girls that they wanted them to have their birthday presents early since there was an âexpiration dateâ on them. Confused but excited by gifts the girls opened their boxes to reveal mouse ear headbands and a print out with a ticket to Disneyland. Both girls looked at each other with wide eyes before screaming and hugging their parents like they were eight years old again.
Sure they were about to be 15 and that was basically an adult to the teenage mind but they didnât care. They spent the whole week bragging to their friends and giggling to each other at night. But when it came time to fly to California things werenât that easy. That day Mariel learned she was scared of flying, the height and low air pressure caused her to panic and have to hold her sister and brotherâs hand for most of the flight. Eventually her Mother gave her an allergy pill that knocked her out for the rest of the flight.
The family spent a week at the park, enjoying everything they could. The girls getting to pick the rides and places they ate. They even talked their parents into letting them stay in the park by themselves when all mom and dad wanted to do was nap. It had honestly been the most exciting trip of their lives and the best vacation they could remember. Not just because it was their birthday but because it meant finally doing something new with their family instead of the same old thing each year.
Mariel still hadnât celebrated a birthday that topped that one, though she wasnât sure sheâd ever want to. Because what could really ever top the happiest place on earth?
Michael Bohn was the boy who lived next door. Mariel could remember the day his family moved in. They were both five and about to start kindergarten that fall but at the moment it was still summer. Mariel liked the boy next door, he was cute (for a five year old) and he had the coolest toys. Most of that summer was spent playing together and doing things together. Â Even their families seemed to get along, having a weekend game night every other weekend while a babysitter would watch Mariel and Michael at whoeverâs house it was that wasnât hosting. But by the end of summer came the fall out.
Now if you asked Mariel or Michael what that falling out was, they couldnât tell you and now that they were teenagers they were more than sure that their parents couldnât tell you either. But from that summer on the two had not been allowed to play together, even if they did secret visit each other at the park down the road or throw paper airplanes into each otherâs open windows to send messages back and forth. As they got older they did this less and less, including when they started taking different classes at school and they had very little reason to hang out other than being neighbors. But with their parents dislike for each other they ended up just falling out of sync with each other.
That was until one fateful night in October that Michael saw Mariel crying from her bedroom window. Since it was the Halloween season there were parties and decorations on each house and since the two families were feuding they always tried to outdo the other. This season was no exception and as luck would have it both families had planned their annual Halloween parties on the same night. This meant he sneak over and check on that childhood friend he had so long ago.
Mariel was crying, dressed up as a Princess for the party but sadly her Prince had broken up with her just that morning. Michael was very aware of that fact and he did feel bad for the other since he had spent a night or two just watching her do her homework or sing around her bedroom. Somewhere along the way he had fallen in love but he knew it could never be.
Hearing tapping at her window Mariel wiped away her tears before going to check. Looking down she opened her window to see Michael there throwing stones to get her attention. Lifting open her window she leaned out seeing him in a costume to match her own, almost surprised by this.
âO Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Loveland,â she said. They had been reading Romeo and Juliet in English class, the only class they shared together. She thought herself funny as she waited for his response.
âShall I hear more, or shall I speak?â he said, just loudly enough for her to hear.
ââTis but they name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a Bohn. Whatâs Bohn? It is nor hand, nor food, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, be some other name! Whatâs in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not Romeo callâd, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff they name and for that name which is no part of thee take all myself.â
Michael smiled up at her and bowed. âAt your service,â he said breaking the character. âI heard about you and Taylor. Iâm sorry to hear about that. But maybe⊠I could be suitable replacement. Even if just for tonight so I can try and cheer up the Princess?â
Mariel smiled and rolled her eyes. âMy parents would be upset if you came inside and I donât exactly have a way for you to climb up to my window like a proper Romeo.â
Michael shook his head. âLets go down to the old tree house we used to play in. Itâs still there and they recently just reinforced it. We can be alone and talk.â
Mariel thought for a long moment. It was more than likely they would get in trouble but she needed a friend and honestly she had missed Michael.  âAlright, fine. Iâll go with you. After all, whatâs Romeo without his Juliet.â
