I live in a tiny horse stable

Due to lack of money I moved in with my cousin and her toddler. We live in a tiny 1 bedroom cinder block rectangle that used to be a horse stable. It is terrible & awesome at the same time. This is a story of our adventures.

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May Fair Parade.

returned to town for the fair,  watched the parade with stable mate. 

Hey Aim check out the Vagisil on that horse...

I gag.

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failed lessons

baby kid yells at me:  NO GIMME ME THAT!

stable mate storms in: you don't yell at people! its not nice! ..(gives long lecture about being nice and no more yelling)... now tell Aim you are sorry and won't yell at her any more.

baby kid: Aimee.  I'M! NOT! GONNA! YELL! AT! YOU! ANY! MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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you're a what?

stablemate & I sitting on couch eating dinner.

baby kid starts jumping up and down yelling: I'M A BUTTHOLE! I'M A BUTTHOLE!

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quick update

sorry I haven't had time to keep up with this blog.  Here are some of my favorite quotes from the last few weeks:

"Is the hipper term for "landing strip" a "pussyhawk"?

"Winner! Winner! I flushed dinner!"

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movies

stable stallion flipping through movie channels...

me: I got super 8 from RedBox

stable stallion: you have super 8 on your box?

stable mate: like super 8 motel?  Your box is always open?

me: no I RENTED SUPER 8 FROM RED BOX.

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What was that called again?

housemates watching something:  ewww Aim come here! You have to watch this.

we watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZsKqbt3gQ0

later......

stablemate: what was that thing we watched called?  black hole?

me: no that's what they smelled.

stablemate: OH YEAH hahahahahaha

stable stallion: Total Blackout!

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Stable Mate made me a collage of Cee Lo Green (the black Stevie Wonder) and the real Stevie Wonder

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hickory dickory dock....

No Dish! No cable! our TV managed to pick up a very weak signal from ABC from 5pm-8pm most days for 3 weeks.  We were forced to watch Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, and Dancing with the Stars over and over and over....

I get home.

Stable Mate is watching Wheel of Fortune.

Me: Hickory Dickory Dock the mouse ran up the spoon! I WIN.

Stable Mate looks at me: um... no you lost.

Me: what?

Stable Mate: the mouse ran up the CLOCK!

Me: hahahahahahahahahahahaha oh yeah

Stable Mate: so, the mouse ran up the spoon and did the dish run away with the clock?

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civilized!?!

so we moved out of the stable, but due to technical difficulties we had to go 3 weeks with out TV and internet.  Who knew the stable would have more luxuries than a nice apartment?

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GOODBYE! FAREWELL! ADIOS!  it's official.  We are out of the tiny stable.

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there is a rat in my bed at the stable.  TIME TO GO!

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stable mate takes me on a field trip to see the new apartment.

stable mate: you can park here and then walk up there to the steps. (points through trees and across a nice lawn)

I look through the trees: HOLY SHIT! I'm can't drive up there my car won't fit through the trees.

stable mate: NO DUMBASS! I said PARK and THEN WALK see the sidewalk?!?!?!?!?!

me: hahahahahahaha I'm obviously retarded because I seriously was contemplating how to get my car through there. hahahahahahahahaha

stable mate: hahahahahahahaha tard

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dear dad, help me move?

due to my unfortunately sad bank account and insane price of gas it looks like I am unable to travel to Cool to pack up the items I would like to have once I leave the stable.  I am writing to request the following items from my stash:  1) something to sleep on...now that I am civilized scattered hay just won't do. 2) my ghetto light table along with the desk light.  3) my rolling desk chair 4) the box filled with hangers because (GASP) I'm going to have a closet!  5) my silver lamp if you can find it or any other lamp mom won't notice missing.  hell I'll even take a flashlight!  My room doesn't have a light fixture.  thank you. sincerely, the soon to be ex-couch surfing stable crasher.

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NO!

stable mate takes laundry out: baby kid wait here

baby kid: no!

stable mate leaves.  baby kid opens door to follow:

me: don't go outside.  momus will be right back

baby kid: I GOTTA GO!

me: no it's dark out there. you have to stay.

baby kid: I GOTTA GO!

me: NO! stay.

baby kid even louder: NO! I GOTTA GO!

me: why am I fighting with you?  the monsters outside will get you anyway.

baby kid slams door and takes off for her room.

I win.

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Donkey rides at the stable.

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not so long a go the site of "Dontey" caused traumatizing screams and terrified tears....now they are friends.

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counting

baby kid: one-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten-yellow

stable mate: eh close enough.  When you start counting by stomping your foot we know its time to leave the stable.