[tired-schizotism]

new pinned post!!

hiii I'm jules/julian and i go by he/she ig

previously jregpilled-schizotism and julianisfuckingweird and other usernames i can't remember.. scratches head

this is my main blog so i will tryyy not to get into fandom stuff too much (except centricide if i fall back into that hole)

i will probably talk about paranoia and psychosis a lot because it's something that affects my life frequently. so yea

I'm bisexual in the way that I'm kind of a gay guy and a lesbian at the same time

okay i really need to go to bed rn bc it's fucking. 6 am. so. i will do that now 👍

oh yeah and uh enjoy my blog and such etc etc. hope you're having a good day if you're reading this btw

[tired-schizotism]

hi guys i'm never using this blog again btw. yes i have made a new one no you cannot know what it is. i am starting anew. goobye

[tired-schizotism]

AAAAAGHHHHH I NEED TO TEAR MY SKIN OFF I NEED TO DELETE ALL OF MY ACCOUNTS ON EVERYTHING I NEED TO CUT OFF EVERYONE I'VE EVER MET I NEED TO MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY BECAUSE EVERYTHING I'VE EVER SAID AND DONE NO LONGER REPRESENTS ME AND I NEED TO START ANEW. THE ME THAT EVERYONE KNOWS ME AS DIED SOME POINT A FEW WEEKS AGO AND I FEEL LIKE I AM FRESH TO THE WORLD AGAIN SO I NEED TO ERADICATE ALL EVIDENCE OF WHO I WAS BEFORE.

[tired-schizotism]

does anyone else need brennan lee mulligan from dropout to be their dad or at least father figure like so bad or is it just me. somebody. please

[schizospec-culture-is]

schizospec + autistic culture is writing an email or text message and rereading it and editing it hundreds of times and thinking what you're saying is going to sound weird to everyone you send it to no matter how normal it is because there HAS to be something you're doing wrong and they have to figure out sooner or later that you're not human

-

[schizospec-culture-is]

Scizospec culture is Milk Inside a Bag of Milk Inside a Bag of Milk

-

[nonbineraryitinerary]

For the last time. A bear is a FAT hairy man. FAT. FAT. Say it with me because it's not a bad word. Bears are fat men. Stop showing me dehydrated and muscular hairy white men. That is not a bear. That is some generic white guy I don't want to look at. Give me real bears or give me death.

[tired-schizotism]

feels lame as hell when you get really insanely upset and overwhelmed and start saying shit like "i can't do this anymore" knowing full well you're too much of a pussy to actually not do this anymore

[tired-schizotism]

just had a huge crashout and i don't even feel any better now. i just feel exactly as miserable and i have the exact same darkness sitting in my soul as before. in fact it actually feels a little worse because I'm more aware of it now. this is a fucking scam i thought crying really hard was supposed to be cathartic or something. i thought getting it all out would like. help. just a little bit. what the fuck

[arbitraryfuck]

really liberating to lowkey be inmune to psyop cultur war shit. latinamerican media at the moment is going wild over therians like "these CRAZY people IDENTIFY as ANIMALS!!! they wear MASKS and PAWS and WALK ON ALL FOURS ON PUBLIC!!!!!! THEY ARE DEMANDING TO BE FED KIBBLE AT RESTAURANTS AND BE TREATED BY VETERINARIANS!!!" accompanied by images that are either AI generated slop clips, people purposefully creating incendiary content for views, or just some nornal dude in a fox mask chilling. and it's everywhere like people making up bullshit with the express purpose of ragebaiting the general population for whatever nefarious purpose. and I just look at it and my eyes glaze over like ok. are you done?

[arbitraryfuck]

this brought to you by hanging out with my friends irl and one of them went "have you seen this stuff about therians? like people thinking they're animals :///" and I went "yea. don't give a fuck. why should i care?" and she went "but i saw this video of one of them at the dentist-" and i had to interrupt and be like ok but how do we know that video wasn't staged for views. and she went well I saw this person's page and they're a real dentist. and i went "well, dentists can lie for views too" and she went quiet. maybe I was a bit rude but i just could not be bothered to give it any attention. i ended up saying "i mean even if it was true, there are worse things to be than cringe" and that kinda killed that conversation dead

[tired-schizotism]

GUYS. I JUST FOUND OUT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE CONSTANTLY EXHIBITING POSITIVE SYMPTOMS TO BE IN PSYCHOSIS. OH MY GOD

THIS WHOLE TIME I THOUGHT MY EPISODES ONLY LASTED A FEW HOURS BC THAT WAS THE AMOUNT OF TIME THAT MY SYMPTOMS WERE USUALLY OBVIOUSLY HAPPENING...... BUT I WOULD LITERALLY EXHIBIT SYMPTOMS EVERY FUCKING DAY FOR ALMOST A YEAR.

THIS MEANS I ACTUALLY MEET THE CRITERIA FOR SCHIZOPHRENIA/SCHIZOAFFECTIVE DISORDER......... I'M NOT JUST A LITTLE WEIRDO WHO DOESN'T QUITE MEET THE CRITERIA AND THEREFORE ISN'T ACTUALLY MENTALLY ILL................ THIS IS FUCKING HUGE FOR ME YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

well. unless I'm getting this wrong and every person with a schizospec disorder actually Does actively have delusional thoughts and hallucinations every single second of every day and i therefore am not schizo enough because that isn't my experience. idk I'm not a professional

[tired-schizotism]

beautiful muscular man with big beautiful eyes and 0% body fat pleaseeee get fat please gain a lot of weight you would be so sexy please muscular man we're counting on you......

[tired-schizotism]

i think the main thing that should be known about me is that i recently had a somewhat freaky dream about a conventionally attractive man who is widely regarded to be very attractive to most people who know who he is and i messaged one of my close friends about it and they responded "THAT JUST STARTLED ME SO BAD I STARTED COUGHING MY LUNGS OUT"

this person almost never types in all caps or has huge reactions to anything really. that's how much i startled them by telling them that i find an attractive man attractive. I'm going down in history as The Guy Who Wants To Fuck Weird Ugly Freaks

[echo-leechcollector]

idk whats even going on half the time. heres another leftunity edit

[peppercornsystem]

Just a reminder; Plurality from psychosis can happen and is valid. Please just tread carefully when it comes to validating magical thinking. It’s one thing to experience psychosis. It’s another thing to boost your symptoms and possibly wreck your mental health.

Ultimately, take it slow, stay safe, be gentle with yourself.

Stay safe out there!

[tired-schizotism]

GUYS IT IS MY GF'S BIRTHDAY TODAY EVERYONE WHO SEES THIS POST SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOW SHE DESERVES IT SHE'S BEAUTIFUL AND KIND AND HAS A WONDERFUL SOUL

[tired-schizotism]

guys i have a question... if my psychosis makes me experience something similar to alters who can "front" and can control my body and the way i act and the way i talk can i call myself a system even though i don't have DID or a similar disorder. or is it something else