TitaniumMoth

[titaniummoth-blog]

So my brain did a thing

New theory: drake and josh have an older cousin named Andy Dwyer.

[cat-n-claw-deactivated20210109]

*in apocalypse world*

humans: *appear*

Mary: Who’s that?

Lucifer: They don’t like me.

Angels: *appear*

Mary: Who’s THAT?

Lucifer: They don’t like me either.

Michael: *appears*

Mary: WHO’S THAT?!

Lucifer: Let’s just assume for the moment that everyone in here DOESN’T LIKE ME.

[titaniummoth-blog]

Pontius pilate was no saint but he was definitely the patron of messing with a sign because you disagree with your boss

[incorrect-trekquotes]

Chapel, to Uhura: Your smile? It makes my day.

Kirk, to Spock: Your happiness? I live for that.

Bones: Hotel? Trivago.

[merlindestiellover]

[djgrannyglasses]

Mood.

[merlindestiellover]

[titaniummoth-blog]

Ravenclaw/slytherin

Random person: (approaching r/s) so.... I need your help hiding a body.

Slytherin: I got you fam. No worries.

Slytherin then proceeds to describe a multi-day event that would definitely hide and conceal that a murder ever took place.

Ravenclaw: or, hear me out...

Ravenclaw then explains a process with identical results that only takes the next 3 hours.

[bethboxin]

Ron just got his howler from his mom yelling at him for stealing the car. He seems super embarrassed and most of the Great Hall is laughing. But here’s the thing:

Ron is 12 years old.

Ron stole a car.

Ron fucking stole a fucking car at the age of TWELVE.

I would not be laughing at him. Ronald Weasley is a fucking bad ass. When was the last time you jacked a car Malfoy? That’s what I thought. Bitch.

[ravenclawravings]

“Don’t worry! I got this!”

— A Ravenclaw who does not “got this”

[titaniummoth-blog]

Tap to see the meme -

[ravenclawravings]

Ravenclaw: It's so nice to finally have a day off.

*Things they need to do keep piling up*

Ravenclaw: Yup.

Ravenclaw: *sweats nervously* It sure is great to have some free time.

[incorrect-trekquotes]

Kirk: Can we agree not to tell Spock this?

Bones: This isn't even the most disappointing thing he knows about you

[titaniummoth-blog]

What if

I told you it's possible to play and enjoy Hogwarts mystery without constantly posting about it?

[ravenclawravings]

Ravenclaw 1: I feel really shitty today.

Ravenclaw 2: Same.

Ravenclaw 1: Well we can’t both be in a shitty mood at the same time. So you can have your turn first and later it will be my turn.

Ravenclaw 2: It’s a deal.

[ravenclawravings]

Ravenclaw in the shower: *thinks up a cure for cancer*

Ravenclaw as soon as they leave the shower: Uhhh… potatoes are lumpy

[incorrect-trekquotes]

Kirk: I made a marshmallow Bones. See? His arms are crossed because he's mad at all of his patients for doing unnecessarily stupid shit. You like it?

Bones: *choked up* It's fine.