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My Leadership Story. Part 6

This is the final part from these series of posts. And it feels great to be starting it, as I can now look back at my journey and actually see some achievement. In fact, I now see what the big deal is with self-reflection. Just having an opportunity to “voice” your thoughts and dig deeper into own behaviors can make a huge difference in learning. 

In my last post I want to talk about one of the coolest leadership techniques I have learned and applied. I want to describe how using an Indian talking stick has helped me resolve multiple complex issues and even showed me some amazing sides of people around me. 

The idea behind the talking stick is really simple - it is a specific object (stick) that gives its holder the right to speak and express himself until he/she feels they have been heard and understood. The speaker then gives the stick to another person in the group. 

The first time I tried this method, I was just testing how it works, so I picked an easy audience: my boyfriend. The talking stick gave me an opportunity to speak about certain issues that were on my mind until I reached the point, where I realized that I am not quite in sync with my own thoughts. It was an interesting outcome, because it allowed me to realize that there was no clear dialogue not because of communication issues, but rather because I was not even sure what message I was trying to deliver. This insight is really valuable for me in personal life and career, as the ability to come to a consensus in my own head is going to help me avoid a lot of miscommunication. 

The next time I was using the Indian talking stick in mediating the conflict between two parties. At first, I felt ridiculous to give a group of grown-up a bright pink stick with feathers to pass around, but the results were amazing. (I guess the style choice here really lightened the mood). I noticed right away, that when given a turn to speak, each person was much more careful with the wording and immediately turned from conflict to expression. This way, each side had a chance to indicate their key concerns and the ultimate results they are looking for. Not surprisingly, the end goal was the same for everyone, but the process of expressing and discussing it made all the difference. 

 Overall, there might not always be a flashy feathery stick in the hand of a good leader, but he/she will always be aware of its existence. These experiments showed me that sometimes truly listening to the problem can be the biggest part of a solution.  

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My Leadership Story. Part 5

Towards the end of my story I wanna start talking about big picture stuff. What can I take away from this experience? What would be the things I learned? Based on some soul-searching and a ton of tests and exercises I formulated a leadership credo for myself: 

As a leader I:

Believe in my value of Reputation. I accept nothing but excellence from myself, and by doing so I am building the legacy my team can trust.

Believe in my strength of Achiever that will inspire others to strive for greatness and push their limits to achieve the common vision.  

Believe in my strength of Competition that will motivate others to strive under pressure and fear no challenges on their way to success.

Believe in my strength of Passion, as a true authentic belief in a vision can be the inner light that starts a fire in the hearts of others.    

Why is this important? What does this credo signify? Well, simply put, this is my guidelines. These words represent a somewhat simplified system of beliefs, which will help me navigate through challenging situations. 

Most of these are based on my actual and perceived strength. And the best way to make this credo really “stick” is to apply it as much as I can IRL. One of the good opportunities to field-teat my credo is a project I am leading at work. As a part of the project, I get to work with a group of students on facilitating a number of focus groups. Since the students had no experience in using this particular research tool, and were generally new to this type of work environment, I used my value of Reputation to set a standard and highlights the expectations by using a personal example. by the way, I feel like my good reputation with the managers and co-workers gave me an opportunity to lead such an important project in the first place. 

It was interesting to note, how powerful one’s personal example can be. I felt inspired when I watched the students get excited and engaged. Moreover, seeing that they are able to perform above and beyond the set standard helped me build trust with the team and proceed into the new challenge with confidence. 

One leadership lesson I can take from here, is that a good leader doesn’t tell you how you should do something, but rather shows you how they would do it themselves. 

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My Leadership Story. Part 4

In this part of my blog I would like to talk about the big picture: we’ve talked about leaders, we’ve covered followers; now, how do they work together to make an effective team?

I think I’ll work on this one through a personal example. I have had a chance to be on multiple different teams, work with different people and in different roles. And honestly, I have not once been on a team I hated. For the purpose of this story, let me talk about the team I’ve been the longest with. It just so happened that since about semester two in college almost to the last year I was lucky to form a highly effective group and stick with it. There was not magic rainbows and eyes crossing across the room, but we did “click” together. And my belief is that we performed so well because of two reasons: 1) we each knew our strengths and weaknesses and played to them; 2) we knew our role - there were recognized leaders and effective followers. I was honored to lead this dream-team, and I hope it is true when I say that my main contribution was to critically assess challenges and break down each assignment so that we can use our best strategy. 

Obviously, I will be lying if I said things were always smooth and great. There were definitely some rough patches towards the end, particularly with communication and respect towards inner deadlines. As we got “too used to each other” we often forgot that others are not mind-readers and thus group chats became emptier and there was much more of that irritated waiting for others to submit their work, so that you can actually start. I have tried approaching the situation a few times, but no long-term solution was found. In hindsight, I feel that I could have been more assertive, or at least more strategic in my suggestions. 

Interestingly, this situation is generally reflective of my response to conflict - I would address it with softness and flexibility, but would eventually fail to make a real impact. Truly, I prefer to avoid confrontation, but I can recognize when one is necessary. Still, when it comes to dealing with the trouble-makers, I could use a bit more courage and a lot more strategy. In reality, conflict is not only inevitable, but  also health, as it lets the team grow and fix the issues that were “covered up”. So in the long run, one of the skills of a good leader is mitigating and offering smart solutions in the conflict. And that would be one thing I would go back and change about my past performance. 

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My Leadership Story. Part 3

This time I would like to look at a different side of the coin. Followership. Yes, there would not be a leader without followers, but there is more to the issue. I believe that leadership comes in many different shapes and forms: some are just born to take charge and guide, while others discover their potential later in life, or only show it in particular situation . So naturally, many of us at some point in their personal growth will find themselves following a different leader - someone they may learn from, or may be someone whose mistakes to avoid. 

I know that there is true power in followership. For me, being led and guided is always an opportunity to learn and observe. Therefore, I have developed a set of “followership rules” to make sure I get the most of the experience. 

An effective follower is proactive in showing initiative and taking responsibility. Don’t be the type of guy who expects the leader to cover up for you.

Be aware of your role. You may not be the decision maker in the project, but you should still know the big picture and understand the strategy to be able to support the group.

Ask yourself “What can I contribute?” not “What they expect me to do?”

Learn to appreciate the opportunity. Being “away from the steering wheel” can actually be a great way to learn: observe others, listen to guidance, analyze your actions. This is the time to build the foundation. 

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My leadership story. Part 2

This time I would like to talk about the famous strengths and weaknesses. We all have them, we all think we know them. Yet, we dread being asked about them in the interviews. And if you think about it, shouldn’t it be the easiest question? Almost like your favorite color or pizza topping, right? Well, not really. 

When it comes to identifying your own strong and weak sides, and (most importantly!) discussing them in front of your future employer, we often find ourselves confused and unsure what to say. Most would come up with something generic, like “I am a perfectionist!” - the saddest is when they use it as an answer to both - or try to get away with a joke, like “My greatest weakness is chocolate”. Well, they both are quite lame answers anyways.

So, how does one come up with something better? And why should it even matter to you? Let me try to explain. 

According to some thought leaders, strength should be defined as activities that make one feel stronger - something you are usually looking forward to do, and fell really pumped when you’re done. Weaknesses, on the other hand, are the thinks that (...drum roll...) make you weak (..duh!). Now you must be thinking “What am I supposed now to put “GOT Expert” and Pizza Eater” on my resume? Nah, that is bs”. But if you think about it, there is stuff each of us enjoys doing that can really be put to a good use. 

My StrengthFinder test says that my top 5 strength are  Input; Achiever; Competition; Harmony; Intellection. To be honest, they really sound like meaningless buzzwords, but if I dig deeper, they really are saying that I am really good at collecting info about anything and processing it. I am also super competitive, and enjoy challenges to overcome. In fact, the last two really excite me! Just knowing these qualities, however, may not be enough to figure out where to move next and how to tailor the career to suit you best. So for the last couple of weeks I was trying to take note of how I feel doing my school and work stuff. And it turn out that there are a few things that I can actually put my energy into: I LOVE writing! Not just posts here, but articles for the school paper, short stories, I even try to brighten up every stats report I do. And I have always been this way. I also like research - yes, I am one of those people who get excited digging through piles of surveys. I see an opportunity for creating some knowledge, finding out something that no one ever knew before. 

And I am sure it is not all. But now that I know how to look for my strength, I will definitely find them. And that way, I will be able to make a conscious choice of my career and generally be aware of how to put myself in the best light.  

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My leadership story. Part 1

I’m gonna start by being honest: I still don’t quite get the idea of a blog. First, why would someone out there want to spend their time reading someone else’s rants on the internet? Second, if it is not for others, then why would one want to broadcast their diary all over the place? But here I am, writing my first blog post. Aside from it being a part of the course assignment, I think this may turn into quite an interesting experience. After all, journalism and creative writing have always been my great passions. 

So, as the name suggests, my blog will be about leadership.What does it mean, to be a leader? What does it take? What is the difference between a good and bad one? 

I will try to answer this questions through a personal example. I guess the first time I truly explored the meaning of leadership was somewhere in grade 8-9. My chemistry teacher decided it would be fun to break the class into teams and let us compete in series of quests. With my incredible luck, I was teamed up with the guys who could not name at least 5 elements if their lives depended on it. My pride has never let me give up easily, so I had a week to turn what I had into a dream team. I realized that there is no humane way to simply stuff everyone with all necessary knowledge, so the best way to compete is to split the tasks and play my team’s strengths. A bit of motivation from me and a LOT of respect from my teammates finished the trick, and by the end of the competition everyone (including us, tbh) was amazed at our victory. 

I guess, a lesson I took from it is that any team can be great, if the leader is able to see greatness in each member. Probably the most important thing in building and leading a team would be finding the strength and learning to apply them together. A big part of success is also an honest belief in a goal and team’s ability to achieve it. Being a leader is often similar to acting on stage - if you are not 100% committed the audience will feel it better than you. 

I know I am far from perfect , and often I wonder if I am even good enough to lead anyone at all, but I know my stuff (I wold never try guiding if I couldn’t read the map); I have learned to appreciate talents of others and I can think critically (I strongly believe that asking the right question is a biggest part of finding the answer). Now, what I still need to learn is trusting others. I found it really hard to let go of control, when I work with new people. Another trick would be to grow and nurture my confidence - it is one thing to be an expert from your couch and a completely different story when you need to step up in a room full of people. 

And so, the hope is that by the end of the story I will be able to track my growth and change. May be one day I will be reading this in a huge leather CEO chair, may be on a flight to some “save the world” conference, or may be anywhere else, but I hope it will out a smile on my face.