My Leadership Story. Part 6
This is the final part from these series of posts. And it feels great to be starting it, as I can now look back at my journey and actually see some achievement. In fact, I now see what the big deal is with self-reflection. Just having an opportunity to âvoiceâ your thoughts and dig deeper into own behaviors can make a huge difference in learning.Â
In my last post I want to talk about one of the coolest leadership techniques I have learned and applied. I want to describe how using an Indian talking stick has helped me resolve multiple complex issues and even showed me some amazing sides of people around me.Â
The idea behind the talking stick is really simple - it is a specific object (stick) that gives its holder the right to speak and express himself until he/she feels they have been heard and understood. The speaker then gives the stick to another person in the group.Â
The first time I tried this method, I was just testing how it works, so I picked an easy audience: my boyfriend. The talking stick gave me an opportunity to speak about certain issues that were on my mind until I reached the point, where I realized that I am not quite in sync with my own thoughts. It was an interesting outcome, because it allowed me to realize that there was no clear dialogue not because of communication issues, but rather because I was not even sure what message I was trying to deliver. This insight is really valuable for me in personal life and career, as the ability to come to a consensus in my own head is going to help me avoid a lot of miscommunication.Â
The next time I was using the Indian talking stick in mediating the conflict between two parties. At first, I felt ridiculous to give a group of grown-up a bright pink stick with feathers to pass around, but the results were amazing. (I guess the style choice here really lightened the mood). I noticed right away, that when given a turn to speak, each person was much more careful with the wording and immediately turned from conflict to expression. This way, each side had a chance to indicate their key concerns and the ultimate results they are looking for. Not surprisingly, the end goal was the same for everyone, but the process of expressing and discussing it made all the difference.Â
 Overall, there might not always be a flashy feathery stick in the hand of a good leader, but he/she will always be aware of its existence. These experiments showed me that sometimes truly listening to the problem can be the biggest part of a solution. Â














