being in ur 20s really is like *looks in the mirror* so i guess this is the most attractive i’ll ever be :/
no. recognize your milf potential
This was weirdly comforting. Thanks.
d e v o n

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Not today Justin
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hello vonnie
tumblr dot com
trying on a metaphor
RMH

Kaledo Art

oozey mess
styofa doing anything

Love Begins
Jules of Nature
Game of Thrones Daily
todays bird

if i look back, i am lost

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

tannertan36
will byers stan first human second
KIROKAZE

seen from Italy
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seen from United States

seen from Brazil
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seen from Singapore
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seen from United States
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seen from United States
@tmimusings
being in ur 20s really is like *looks in the mirror* so i guess this is the most attractive i’ll ever be :/
no. recognize your milf potential
This was weirdly comforting. Thanks.
Democrats: alright we finally did it, Trumps been impeached. Time for a trial in the-
Republicans: lol yeah about that trial. It’s not gonna be fair or anything, we’ve already made up our minds and there’s gonna be like, 0 witnesses
Democrats: oh? Ok then. If that’s the case then I guess we’ll just hold on to these *pockets articles of impeachment*
Republicans:
Can someone explain what this means?
Our president has been charged with misconduct through the only proccess that is outlined in our constitution (impeachment). The next step in the process is that the president goes on trial. Republicans in the senate, where the trial will take place, have already said they have made up their minds and will vote based on bias. They have stated that it will be a quick trial with no witnesses and a guaranteed vote on acquittal. The democrats, who control the charges, have said that they will not release the charges to the senate until fair rules have been established. Republicans seem shocked by this turn of events
In case you’re wondering why this would make the republicans upset, the need this to go to trial or Trump will be on record as having been impeached and not acquitted.
The 2020 election is also coming up and a number of these senators are coming up for re-election.
FLIP
THE
FUCKING
SENATE
FLIP THE FUCKING SENATE
FUCKING VOTE.
Here’s how you verify you’re registered to vote: https://www.rockthevote.org/voting-information/am-i-registered-to-vote/
Here’s how you register if you’re not: https://www.vote.org/register-to-vote/
Here’s how you find your fucking polling place: https://yourfuckingpollingplace.com/
If you have time, register for an absentee ballot in your state. That way you don’t even have to go to a polling place, you just have to fill it out and mail it in on time.
Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z outnumber Boomers. More of us are Liberals who care about each other and social safety nets. More of us give a fuck about the future because we have to live in it.
Flip the Senate. Fucking Vote. It’s so goddamn important.
2020 is crucial.
Vote
i have a lesbian friend called Maggie who claims to be stupid but has given me some of the most powerful advice ive ever received, information that only a lesbian could deliver
she used to work for a gay club where her job would be to carry around a tray of shots (she’s like pretty short and had one (1) extremely buff arm because of this bc she had to hold the tray real high above her head when going thru crowds) and she found that obviously she’d get tipped better if she dressed sexy, so she’d come to work in just lingerie and bunny ears, and i was like “damn i could never” and i asked her how she had the body confidence to do it
her answer was “oh i don’t i’m just dumb” and honestly? that’s the best piece of advice i’ve ever been given, period.
she told me that a good sport/hobby for depressed lesbians to take up is martial arts, because not only does it give you a reason to get out the house and socialise more, but because it gives you a good way to get more control over your body in more ways than one
not only does it prepare you for a potential time in later your life where you might need to defend yourself against non-consensual touching (be it sexual or otherwise) but it gives you a way to platonically, professionally and most importantly consensually be touched and touched other people in a semi-public, friendly environment, and she told me it’s really important that lesbians do that because we can get so caught up in our heads about being touched & not being touched. it also works as an environment where you can always say “stop” and you know they will - because that’s the point
Maggie is wise beyond her years
i was once discussing the big spoon/little spoon with a friend and she interupted us and gave the most definitive answer i’ve ever heard; the wisest addition to Big Spoon/Little Spoon discourse anybody could have, something i still think about every day.
she said “middle spoon” and for the first time in my life it DAWNED ON ME you could do BOTH at ONCE
anyway hats off to Maggie she’s one of my favourite people in the world
Maggie sounds great
slowly approaching bear
the bears will be in eventually
Bear will arrive sooner than thought.
BEAR IS APPROACHING AT ALARMING SPEEDS
BEAR IS GO FAST LOSING TRACK OF BEAR
BEAR HAS REACHED MACH ONE
WE HAVE LOST VISUAL ON BEAR
He nyooms
AHHHHHHH
I feel like the real peril of growing up Christian that no one really talks about is how deeply veggie tales songs get embedded into your fuckin head like a ticking time bomb of inanity
it could be decades later and you’re minding your own business in line at the grocery store or on the bus or trying to fall asleep and from the depths of your brain comes “the bunny, the bunny, ooh I love the bunny”
you’ll never be free
someone, being normal: it’s time
my goblin brain:
DID HE JUST SAY IT’S TIME?
What the fuck kind of cult is this
@fatale-distraction I found the videos but, uh, still a little weird. VeggieTales is mostly old testament stories for kids, acted out by vegetables (???) and full of songs. I still know all the words to the ones I watched when I was little.
From a retelling of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (the bunny song):
From a retelling of the Battle of Jericho (the “it’s time” song):
They also had an intermission halfway through each VHS (hah) where Larry the cucumber would sing a silly song. My whole family gets in on this one; no one can say anything about someone named Barbara without someone else asking “Barbara MANATEE?”:
Another personal favorite (this one has five million views wtf)
No one in my family can say “Where is my hairbrush?” without the inevitable “OOOOOH WHEREEEEE IS MY HAIR BRUSH?!!”
I Love My Lips and the Water Buffalo song 😩😭
You guys don't understand. There was a CD of these songs. There was a fucking movie of Just Their Greatest Hits. You don't understand.
Fucking Barbara manatee is my shit.
growth of a seed
nature is raw af
I for real thought this was lava or something. I was super confused till I read the comments.
I’m going to shit myself
Tiddies out, wig
me before/after hrt
IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND ITS SO BAAAAADDDD
remember folks girls are PINK
Ok but the Bulbasaur one is cunty
Why they need gender differences on the boobs, like don't get me wrong, more colorful Pokemon are fine, but why does it matter? I play Pokemon go, and shiny Pokemon are fun, but I don't understand why we gotta give them more humanoid things like a fucking bra for some.
Reblog in 30 seconds for good luck
It's almost like
Being racist isn't okay~
things about the harry potter movies that bother the fans
movie hermione having all of ron’s good traits
movie ginny showing less emotion than a brick
harry casting the lumos spell in privet drive
peeves not being in any of the movies
hermione’s dress in goblet of fire being pink and not blue like in the book
‘’calmly’‘
i love how everyone just knows what “calmly” means
I sent this to my quidditch group. They're coming up with me, current fav is: wtf happen to Crab and Goil. And why didn't McGonagall get to ride a lion.
if youre ever feeling bad just look at pictures of albatross chicks bc theyre adorable but also fucking hilarious like the parents look like they go to pta meetings in full makeup carrying gucci handbags and the babies look like funky little muppets and i love them
THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY. TYVM OP
Published erotica: terribly written, costs money
Fanfiction on ao3: Free, isn’t affaid TO JUST USE THE WORD ‘COCK’ FFS
“His genitals, his privates, his hot length, his trobing rod, his magic meat stick-”
Me, in tears: Just say cock
published erotica: the parts that aren’t purple prose about vanilla sex are occupied by dithering and made up problems
fanfiction on ao3: the parts that aren’t sharp, clear prose about scorching kinky sex are occupied by tightly plotted suspense and slam-bang action
published erotica: not interested in the 99% of the market that’s heterosexual? that’s fine, we also have tender white middle class lesbians and slutty white middle class gay men!
fanfiction on ao3: one trans partner? both partners trans? genderswaps? how about a loving long-term threesome that does heist capers? we’ve got non-gendered angels, hermaphroditic aliens – some of whom lay eggs, if you’re into that – oh, and have i mentioned the robots –
published erotica: there, i put in a vampire, i’m such a genre rebel
fanfiction on ao3: i sent the avengers to hogwarts with the winchester brothers, i fear nothing on earth or heaven and only one thing in hell which is that my laptop will overheat in the fires of abaddon so i’ll have to write the sequel longhand
It’s finally happened, this post has popped up on my dash
Fanfiction for the freaking win :D
HECK
YES :D
Meat stick.
future spouse: what’s your favorite work of homoerotic literature?
me, thinking about the “living in a log cabin with thor” reddit comment: hmmm….at the risk of limiting the great gatsby to its subtext-
if you haven’t read- no- experienced this yet
I gently sponge Gay Tom Hardy down
I wonder if these people understand what the readers understand
They probably are a lil bit gay, and since they wrote these, probably big gay...
Me listening to people complain about me.
Daddy and kitten got to be in there first commercial together
This is so wholesome!
Sigh
I guess I should just start making a fucking story line of the shitty stuff my "friend" Bo says.
My friend
My friend is in the hospital. She doesn't see a reason to live anymore.
I feel selfish for being scared.
I want to tell her it'll be okay, because I got through it.
But the reality is, it never really goes away. My fight with anxiety and depression is a constant battle.
I'm scared because the depression is beating her. I'm angry because I care for her but I can't help. And I'm so sorry I didn't see how serious it had become sooner.