Unendingly Undeniably Yours

“An enigma, a gay fuck up of astronomical proportions, tired and lonely and perplexingly perpetually dying to live while living to die” ~ the therapist I never got

[to-live-in-your-bones]

Loving you through, despite of and in spite of everything and everyone has been one of the highest honors of my 20 something years on this planet

[to-live-in-your-bones]

Am I insane for thinking that a gay, trans man could possibly be male centered? /gen

[to-live-in-your-bones]

I’m sorry that our love has gotten us here

But I’ll never be sorry for loving you

[to-live-in-your-bones]

Wishing today that I could give the me from 5 years ago a hug right now

She was miserable trying to save an abusive relationship with someone who never appreciated anything she did for him and never did anything for her with any real thought behind it. She was made to feel like a bad person and girlfriend for not liking gifts with no thought put into them (he almost bought me a white hoodie despite knowing that I never wear white because it said babygirl on it and any jewelry he ever bought me was sapphire only because it’s my birthstone and blue is my favorite color). Fights were constant and she felt like it was all her fault for it crumbling. He hated how in love with him she was and used distance as a punishment for anything out of line

Flash forward to now where I have an amazing partner who genuinely pays attention to me, gets me little things just because and does absolutely everything possible to make me feel loved and adored and anything I’m given shows genuine thought and care and consideration for me. They’re as in love and obsessed with me as I am with them and we truly never have issues

I wish I could tell younger me that she deserved better and would find it one day. That she didn’t have to fit into the box she was desperately trying to force herself into, that it was okay to admit to being wrong about who she was and what she wanted. She’d be so proud of how far we’ve come, who we’ve become and what we’ve found

[to-live-in-your-bones]

2025 enemies list

7+ hour drives

the 4 hours I’m off work and my love isn’t

not having days off together

homophobic assholes

people who wish we weren’t together

no hugs or kisses

[to-live-in-your-bones]

Crying my eyes out because what do you mean you love me so much you woke up at 4 in the morning just to say bye to me

Thank you for loving me more than I ever thought I deserved

[to-live-in-your-bones]

Thank you for showing me love that feels like flying instead of falling

[to-live-in-your-bones]

I’m sorry for being too much but I can’t stop

I’m obsessed with you in every way

Talking to you is my favorite thing to do and your attention is something I crave more than anything else

It might ruin you and destroy me but I’m victim to it as much as you are

[to-live-in-your-bones]

You think my obsession and stalker tendencies are cute and all now

But if I told you I wanted to put a tracking device inside you

Would it still be cute or have we crossed the line?

[to-live-in-your-bones]

If distance has made my heart grow fonder

Then fondness and insanity are intertwined

[to-live-in-your-bones]

I paint the sky with the colors of our love every morning and evening to serve as a reminder to you that while the hues and shades may never be the same the beauty of our love is constant and ever evolving

[to-live-in-your-bones]

I yearn for you like the tides yearn for the moon

Constantly reaching for you never certain if we shall ever truly hold one another as we wish

[to-live-in-your-bones]

You don’t know how wonderful you are, my love, and I’m afraid words cannot properly express it

No matter who has tried to dull your shine, here you sit as radiant as the sun with as strong of a pull as the moon

The stars shine at night so that you might have some light upon your face even on nights where the moon won’t show face

I am the tide and the master of the stars, I ebb and flow at your whim and conduct the stars in twinkling shows just for you

I am nothing but a weary traveler who traveled time and space to bask in your glory, that you might give me even a moment of your time is a gift I will treasure until my dying days

That you have promised me all of yours is beyond what I could have dreamed, everything I have ever hoped and something I will never take for granted

[to-live-in-your-bones]

Loving you was written into the essence of my very being

There has never been nor will there ever be a reality in which my soul does not yearn for yours

From a lifetime as the smallest creature on the planet to one where we’re the largest

In every lifetime and in every reality I would find you and love you the same

[to-live-in-your-bones]

The blog name has changed, and it might have been unused until now, but just know that I have been yours through it all