𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑

[ what we choose is never what we really need. ]

[tobespecialgone]

#TOBESPECIAL —  independent gabriel gray aka sylar of nbcs heroes. canon divergent and headcanon based. analyzed by genesis (formerly estelle) since TWENTY-NINETEEN. he / they, pst timezone. 

𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒅. / 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒈𝒍𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒄. / 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈 𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚.  

[bornreadygeneration]

You’re trying not to tell him you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for.

Richard Siken (via lilttlemermaids)

[tobespecialgone]

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR SOULMARK?

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃  :   considered a lucky color to have, the gold soul color is never short of achieving their goals and prospering. analytical, intelligent, and cunning, the gold soulcolor is alluring to even those who aren’t their soulmate. you either envy them or hate them, there is no in between, and they’re fine with that. this color has expensive tastes and chooses to live in the world of high fashion. they aren’t shy about showing off their achievements and wealth, and they often lose themselves in materialistic things. bigger and better is their motto. gold soulmarks can seem shallow and judgmental to those who don’t know them well. they’re not afraid to cut nuisance out of their life and don’t put up with different opinions than their own. they are known to indulge in self care often, and they avoid things that stress them out as much as possible. always knowing how to get what they want, the gold soul color surrounds themselves with people who are not going to stand in their way. they are usually surrounded by a small clique of people designed to lift their spirits with praise. they are also clingy to those who make them feel good, and they are known for bending for those they deem important.

[tobespecialgone]

𝐡𝐞   𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭   𝐠𝐞𝐭   𝐨𝐧  𝐡𝐢𝐬   𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐬  𝐟𝐨𝐫   𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭   𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞.   in  fact   most   would   argue,   he   never   gets   on   his   knees;   lest   he’s   cleaning   out   someones   skull.   but   that   was   the   beautiful   irony,  that   it    really   doesn’t   take   much    to   get   sylar  on  all  fours,   begging.   𝙾𝙷  𝙷𝙾𝚆  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝚃𝙰𝙱𝙻𝙴𝚂   𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴  𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙽𝙴𝙳.    if   you   could   only   see  him  now,   head  bowed   at   her   feet,  his   eyes   searching   desperately  for  that  approval  the   killer   so   deeply   craves. 

head   can  only   𝐧𝐨𝐝   for   the   moment.   in   reality.   sylar   isn’t   quite  sure  what   he  has   done  to  displease   mommy,     it    could   be    many   things.   he  hardly   is   keeping   score   of   his   infractions;   that   wasn’t   in   his  nature.   thats    what   mommy   was   for,   after  all.  ❝   i’m   good.   ❞    sylar   whines.    ❝     𝙸'𝙼  𝙰   𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳   𝙱𝙾𝚈,   𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙼𝚈.       ❞

he   pouts,   just   before   a  jolt    goes   right   to   his   dick.   [   yes   ma’am,    pull   harder   ]    he  chants   in    his   mind.    sylar   isn’t  dare   going   to   make   demands   now.    :     mouth   dry,   lips    parted   he    looks   up   at   her   with   big   wide  eyes,   a  gasp   when  the hand   grabs   his   jaw.   another    jolt   to    his   nether   regions   ❝    𝙱𝙴𝙲𝙰𝚄𝚂𝙴  -  ❞   his   tongue  slinks   out   &   grazes   his   bottom   lip,   ❝    my    head   between   mommys   legs   makes   mommy    feel    good.    ❞   big    round   innocence   looks   up   at  her.   ❝     and   𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲   exists   to   make    mommy    feel    good.     ❞

@desafrey​  cont. 

[desafrey]

tobespecial  asked:  ❝    tell  me  what  you  want  me  to  do.    i’ll  do  it.    whatever  you  want.    ❞

Keep reading

[archirenaux]

Don’t you get it? I only feel alive if someone chooses me.

[sylarclaus-blog]

[tobespecialgone]

logs  in   to  update  my  aesthetic  &  then  rolls  away.

[elastixhearts-deactivated202307]

“when he kisses her he is begging, pulling, pleading he is asking her to accept every bruise, cut, scar— every dark secret she will never know— everything about himself he cannot quite accept yet. but when she kisses him she is giving, she is promising she is telling him that, despite all the scars, bruises, cuts— all the secrets she may never know— that she still loves him, even when he cannot love himself.”

— that is the essence of tragedy. | E.C.A. (via alleyspat)

[ladyofroses]

i mean, you could try and court me traditionally but holding a knife to my throat while kissing works too

[fields-of-my-love]

[tobespecialgone]

empathpetrellii​. / peter petrelli

part   of   him   is   glad   he   hasn’t   been   questioned.   gabriel   just   kinda   goes   with   it.      he’s   not   sure   he’d   have   an   answer   really.   part   of   it   being   that   he   wants   gabriels   attention,   another   part   that   he   wanted   to   be   held.      and   somehow   it   has   ended   up   with   peter   asking   gabriel   to   pick   him   up.   his   hand   lets   go   off   his   shirt   so   he   can   move   closer   to   him.   he   doesn’t   want   to   almost   basically   jump   onto   him   without   warning.   he’s   hesitant,   and   it   takes   him   a   moment   to   figure   out   how   he   wants   to   go   about   it.   peter’s   arms   move   to   wrap   around   gabriel’s   neck,   before   he   moves   basically   to   slightly   jump   enough   so   that   he   can   wrap   his   legs   around   his   waist.      ’   hi   -…i’m   not   too   heavy   am   i   ?   ‘   

it  wasn’t  an  odd  request,  just  different.  but  of  course  gabriel  will  indulge  peter,  he  is  definitely not  adverse  to  the  to  the  idea,  there  are  many  ways  this  can  go.  as  suspected  peter  has  moved  to  wrap  his  legs  around  gabriel’s   waist.  he  in  turn  wraps   his   arms   around  peters  waist  journeying  lower  to  hold  him  up  under  his  ass.   ❝   if  i  said  yes  would  you  even  allow  me  to  put  you  down ?  ❞  the  smirk  has  returned  to  his  face  &  he  raises  a  brow.  ❝   but  you  aren’t  don’t  worry.   ❞   he  leans  forward  &  kisses  peters  forehead  gently.

[tobespecialgone]

empathpetrellii​. / peter petrelli

well   that’s   certainly   frustrating.   he   hasn’t   been   ignored,   but   he   doesn’t   have   gabriel’s   attention   either.   he   answer   the   question   like   it   was   just   a   matter   of   fact   statement,   and   doesn’t   move   to   indulge   him.   he   can   see   the   grin   on   the   other’s   face,   he   knows   what   he’s   done.   there’s   a   bit   of   silence,   as   peter’s   brain   tries   to   think   of   what   to   say,   what   to   do.   gabriel’s   teasing   him   for   asking   him   about   it,   but   he   didn’t   look   surprised.      a   hand   reaches   out,   moving   to   tug   at   gabriel’s   shirt.   a   wordless   action   to   try   and   get   his   attention   once   again.   ’   okay,   let   me   rephrase,   ─   ’   he   pauses,   hand   still   holding   at   gabriel’s   shirt.   ’   ─   will   you,   please   ?   ‘   

the  plan  was  only  to  ignore  him  for  a   moment,   just  to  see  how  peter  would  respond.  of  course  if  his  lover  was  really  uncomfortable  gabriel   would  stop  the  teasing  right  away.  protested  &  groans  were  what  the  taller  male  was  expecting,  not  his  shirt  being  tugged  as  he  reached  to  put  another  dish  away.   this  was  clearly   serious,   &  not  just  a  game.   he  turns  again,   this  time  his  expression  is  a  little  more  friendly.   ❝   alright.   c’mere  then.    ❞    gabriel   beckons  peter  closer,  holding  his  arms  causally  forward.  there  is  a gentle  smile  on  his  face  now.   

[tobespecialgone]

empathpetrellii​. / peter petrelli

@tobespecial​   

he   might   have   been   standing   in   his   personal   space   for   a   little   too   long.   maybe   because   he’s   been   brewing   the   question   in   his   head   for   a   little   while.   does   he   ask   it   ?   can   he   even   ask   it   without   it   seeming   weird   ?   gabriel   was   taller   than   him.   and…was   probably   still   stronger   than   he   was.   ’   can   you   -   ’   lips   pull   into   a   bit   of   an   awkward   expression,   but   he   does   make   eye   contact   with   him   surprisingly.   ’   can   you   pick   me   up   ?   ’      

he  was  just  loitering  in  the  kitchen  when   peter  approached.  normally  gabriel  would   greet  him,  but  peter  seemed  content  to  stare  in  silence.  this  went  on   for  at  least  thirty-second  before  the  ex  serial   raised  his  brow,  normally  he  was   the  one  to  just  gawk   at  the  other.   but  there   was  something  different  about  this   particular  stare.   before   he  can  open   his  mouth  peter  voices  his  request.    gabriel  places  down  the  plate   he  was  meaning  to  place  in  the  cupboard  &  just  stares.    ❝    i   can.     ❞    the   reply  is  stated  bluntly   but  he   doesn’t  elaborate   or   make  any  move  to  anything,   instead   gabriel   turns  back  to  the  dishes   with  a  grin  on  his  face.   

[sylcr]

one year of sylar ♔ - day 9

[valtsv]

oh to be pinned against a wall by my arch nemesis who i am secretly pining for and smirk insolently up at them while fantasizing about kissing them and being kissed back as they lean forward until our noses are almost touching to whisper threats which are meant to intimidate me but only turn me on more in my ear

[whenhumphreymetwaldorf]

“But you are special, Gabriel. You’re special just the way you are.”