Today.Was.Soup

21. Bi. Full time bitch.

[bearablebutch]

IN THIS HOUSE WE LIFT UP AND SUPPORT TRANS INDIVIDUALS

[feastofsnakes]

in this house we lift up and support lesbians!!

[clubpenguin2005]

The solidarity…iconiqué

[the-angry-tired-lesbian-bitch]

Support trans people or perish

[ducktracy-deactivated20260315]

my spongebob favorite quotes video is making its rounds again so i made another, there are still so many more it would probably be like an hour long

[stevensteven97-deactivated20190]

[goingslowly-deactivated20191211]

parks and rec had the best minor characters

[retrogamingblog2]

[123472oodkkxkxkx-deactivated202]

there's either a small snake or a giant slug in my kitchen but ill never know because i left my glasses in the other room

[123472oodkkxkxkx-deactivated202]

what kills a slug that won't make a snake attack me

[123472oodkkxkxkx-deactivated202]

the internet said salt kills slugs so imma just toss a bunch of salt all over the floor and hope it dies or evaporates or something

[123472oodkkxkxkx-deactivated202]

so i ended up throwing salt all over my kitchen floor, texting my fam to keep my dog out of there, and going to bed. i woke up to my mom finding "piss-like-goo" all over the floor because the slug/snake had melted. and apparently that slug thingy was "a regular" who "visted often" and my mom named it gary. rip to gary i guess

[tymorrowland]

imagine showing up to your sidechicks house and her blind son is there this time and he just throws acid on you bc he can’t see and you end up melting into a piss-like-glue

[123472oodkkxkxkx-deactivated202]

hmmm I'm not sure I'm liking the narrative of my mom fucking a slug named gary

[curseworm]

whenever i see parents walking with their baby andtheyve got their baby between them i get so emotional im not describing it well but like this

i ran out of space for the other one so theyve only got 1.5 parents but its fine

[killer-catchy]

my parents used to do this to me when i was little - they’re both pretty tall, so they could easily swing me between them. my mom told me last week that once, after a pretty hefty snowfall, they were walking somewhere with me swinging me back and forth, as usual. because it was cold out i was wearing gloves, so on a pretty hard forward swing, i slip out of my gloves, flying through the air. i landed in a pile of snow

people saw. my mom still feels bad for laughing

[curseworm]

baby slingshot

[ripe]

[ottermatopoeia]

castin spells

[atlas-prime]

Tai chi

[turing-tested]

my favorite thing is when you pick up an animal and you look them in the eyes and you can tell nothings going on behind them. you look at them and theres just elevator music. stupid animals really are like the fucking best, the lights are on but no one is home

[griffinmcelroyspisskink-remade]

that also happens when u pick me up and look into my eyes

[feministism]

[strengthins0lidarity]

Fun things they don’t teach you in sex ed.

[teaboot]

Talcum powder has asbestos in it. Has for years. Leave it be

[evieplease]

This is all FAR more useful education than ‘Having unmarried sex while female makes you a dirty slut’ .

[ladychurch-deactivated20200811]

If you did not know these things, please take them to heart. There is far too much misinformation out there that can do us harm.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[quantummindclassicalheart]

To clarify, they are bisexual, not lesbians:

https://twitter.com/fancy_foxtrot/status/1205747696813756416

[dantes-infernal-chili]

Sword Bi Queens

[logarto]

[lesbianhaircut]

i love that chuck e cheese is in no way shape or form a clown

[thecryingcryptid]

tumblr is an awful place full of awful people and i hate every single one of you. “mr. sandman” came on and without blinking i sang man me a sand. 

[ninjagiry]

Make him the cutest car door man hook hand

[dicaeopolis]

Fuck all romance except whatever the fuck that lil cowboy and roman guy from night at the museum had going on

[dicaeopolis]

this is what i want

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

Why’d they de-sexy-code King Neptune for the SpongeBob movie?

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

show me a bigger downgrade

[bucci-mayne]

[kalichnikov]

[hawkeyedflame]

this is like people finding out the name of HP Lovecraft's cat all over again

[teathattast]

a true visionary

[fairyfawm]

heres a TOTALLY BLANK image!! there is DEFINITELY NO REASON for u to click it!!!!!!!!! NOT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!