( little bird )

[tofreefall]

ill figure out my icons later bc i cannot find the ~cool populat textures~ kids use these days and i updated two themes thats enough for me 

[tofreefall]

new theme is up yee haw

[taabernae]

He doesn’t remember showing any interest or sleeping with a guy though…

[tofreefall]

if you’d rather be called the bi uncle that can work just fine.

[tofreefall]

taabernae replied to your post:

……gay……

yeah, you’re the gay uncle

[tofreefall]

taabernae replied to your post

nah theyre cool

[tofreefall]

[tofreefall]

                    The days have gone and the weeks pass, and classes have dragged on with them-- painfully, but they do. There was a pleasure in the theater activities, but with the clouds parting to bring the sun home again, there is still a good bye ( and the disappearance of a black haired man who’d become a friend ). It’s a little strange to be in class without him, Ken still finds himself looking for Ju when he settles into one of the back rows; well, habits are hard to break. 

                    Ken sees him in passing, like wisps of smoke that you only catch under the right light; he catches his eyes or a wave, and he finds himself feeling like he glows when those fleeting moments arrive. Maybe he’s too attached, maybe he’s spent so much time alone and closed off that-- now when someone seems to care, wanted his attention, it’s like a flood gate bursts. It’s strange to want to spend time with someone so much, at least for him; Ken’s used to solitude, it’s known and comforting, he doesn’t know what to do when he aches for a person.

                    There’s bandages on his hands, Ken notices-- and it worries him. Brown eyes waver there for a second, wondering but mostly fretting; when did that start happening? The memory of thin cloth on his fingers doesn’t cross his mind.

          “What-- What happened to you?

[outcrying]

jet pack blues - fall out boy

[ha-iiro-deactivated20231211]

[goodquoteco]

I want a trouble-maker for a lover, blood spiller, blood drinker, a heart of flame, who quarrels with the sky and fights with fate, who burns like fire on the rushing sea.

Rumi (via zelo)

[dreamlike-melody]

[jumpstaato]

╳ ┊ＭＥＵＳＥ

‘   what do i gain ?   ’ 

    chimes of bells were rusted copper within his throat as JUMPSTART pushed gritty laughter. normally, he wasn’t the scheming type ( well, not often but – ). in retrospect, it would have been an equivocal attempt to master practical consolation and perhaps he was pushing for something, for something to happen ( JUMPSTART himself knew naught of what it was, but his charm of being waggishly ignorant wouldn’t have been if he did – a game is no fun if you knew all the rules, after all ) and so he harboured the question, juggled the 20 kilogrammed inquiry in his mind with the deftness of his own hands, and something finally hit. game or not, this involved real people, involved the metaphysical entity of the Sun in front of him, and he had always respected the sun for bringing so much life to this puny planet flecked with puny dwellers. and so he flourished, the Jester performance had ended, and he was soon brought back to reality. 

‘   what do i gain ?   ’ he chided, maybe himself, or maybe the answer he had finally extracted. ‘   if it meant getting you to pay attention to me and giving me your time, does that mean i have something to gain?   ’

[tofreefall]

               The answer is perplexing in all honesty, though the entirety of Jumpstart has proposed nothing but questions. It’s foreign ground, whatever this is, some kind of dance or performance-- considering Ju was a man of the high arts, this could all be routine for him, it wouldn’t necessarily be surprised if it were. Ken would prefer other things, the hard facts, the day to day life and a sense of stable ground to be on-- he’d rather trek mountains then let himself be suspended in the clouds as Ju seems to have him ( or rather, if he in the palm of the other’s hand? ). 

                 After what feels like an hour of holding his breath and tentatively waiting for the craftsman reply, Ken is shocked-- well, as shocked as he can. As much as he’s held his suspicions ( and that ball-and-chain weight of self-depreciation ), the same conclusion is met: Ju enjoys him, enjoys his presence. The thought is all but confusing to him, and it’s also one he’s not entirely sure how to meet with a reply; in most cases, when Ken doesn’t know what to say or do, he just altogether doesn’t give it his attention anymore-- but Jumpstart wants his attention, and so a pattern is broken.

                   Problems are harder to access and to target when they hang in the air like silence, as it does now-- because Ken isn’t quite sure what to say. His lips purse, drawn into a thin line; he owes Ju a decent response at the very least. 

“...I-- I guess..”

                     The crescendo of a pink comes to his face once more, rising over his cheeks and the bridge of his nose; Ken’s not used to this, admitting these things into the open world; he’s a blunt person in all respect, but a matter of opinion is entirely different from a matter of the heart. Brown eyes shift to the side, away from the man in front of him-- someone too elegant, too genuinely beautiful and confident in himself to even consider sharing his time with a bull-headed crumbling person such as himself. His hand covers his features, a half-assed attempt to conceal the view from Jumpstart; he’ll probably take to teasing it as soon as he noticed, much to the poor boy’s dismay. 

[darsucks]

[wordsnquotes]

I grew, day by day, more moody, more irritable, more regardless of the feelings of others.

Edgar Allan Poe, “The Black Cat” (via wordsnquotes)

[jumpstaato]

tofreefall liked your quote:I am nothing but a desire, anger, vagueness, as…

hey b abe i her u come here often

[tofreefall]

call me babe one more time. one more time. Try Me Asshole.

[behindtheseas-deactivated201612]

[heartlites]

just sit back and relax; just sit back and relapse again.

[kyousen]