evil bofu

agoraphobic creature of evil and misery might reblog nsfw sometimes

[targetedknowledge]

[kilncreatures]

you can make several seals and put them on the hot dashboard of your car

[tofubitchel]

its actually over asf im applying to real life jobs its over and im out !!!!!!!

[tofubitchel]

my glasses feel dirty even though i just cleaned them so i am feeling very overwhelmed and irritable

[tofubitchel]

mum update

my brohter had a breakdown about his mental health, like apparently he 'cant handle' watching mum dying day by day. and he doesnt want to watch over her while she sleeps because she has seizures and he cant handle it. and my mums friend was still there so she kind of mediated it. mum and her friend and my brother all decided he is going to move out. their genius plan is that hes going to say mum is kicking him out / evicting him and he will be homeless so he will be given some emergency accommodation.

but i dont think this will work tbh. like i dont think the council will gaf. and i also dont think it will be like he expects, emergency accommodation wont be a nice place for him esp since he is very antisocial and anxious about even going outside or meeting people. i dont know what they are thinking tbh. but he called them and told them he needs a place to live so thats it for now, they just have to wait (though i dont think anything will come of it)

also it breaks my heart that hes prioritizing his mental health over my mum who is dying and probs wont be here in 2 months. meanwhile i had to drop my therapy cos i couldnt afford it any longer cos im spending sm time with her instead of working. like if he goes, she has even less help and people looking after her. the only people will be carers that come to visit 4x a day and overnight nurses 3x a week. so me and my bf will have to go there even more because the thought of her lying alone in her hospital bed almost all day just breaks my heart so much. i fr dont know what im going to do, i feel like im gonna have a heart attack every day worrying about her and trying to figure out what i can do for her in between doing my own obligations .

but we went to dinner with her last night and she had a really good time. she ate ribs and was closing her eyes and eating them going mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm and also she ate ramen and spilled it all down herself cos she is so uncoordinated now lol. she couldnt figure out how to use the big ramen ladle spoon thing and was ignoring me trying to help her and she had a big piece of watercress in her teeth and it was so funny me and my bf were laughing so much

the only time i feel happy or normal is when im hanging out with them otherwise i just feel like a sick and nervous wreck. i dont know how to feel normal any more

i stopped going gym for 2 weeks cos i just didnt have it in me but im back now and im sore ALLLLL OVERRRR

[tofubitchel]

everyone is annoying the fuck out of me lately. if u are an annoying fucking person please dont interact with me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tofubitchel]

like you have to be a really special and unique kind of CUNT to see what im going through and then come to my venting acc to quibble with me about some shit that doesnt matter because i didnt put 14 qualifiers and disclaimers on my stream of consciousness post i made in 15 seconds. fuck you

[tofubitchel]

everyone is annoying the fuck out of me lately. if u are an annoying fucking person please dont interact with me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tofubitchel]

i want to be so big and strong and muscular and its so annoying that without anavar i will probably never be stronger than a 13 year old boy on his first day of lifting

[tofubitchel]

phew its been a hard day i just feel i just feel i jsut feel................................

[tofubitchel]

press 1 to kill my brother

[ruinedchildhood]

Tigers with a frozen milk brick on a hot day

[dragondriana]

needless to say they are hopelessly dependent on the ingot

[tofubitchel]

took mum to the beach today. it was really nice. well not the beach really cos her wheelchair cant go on it, but i pushed her around on the promenade for hours in the sun. and we got tasty drinks and fish n chips

also when i got there today the palliative nurse was there. they were baically asking about consent stuff. like where do you want to die, (not in hospital) if you get a non-life-threatning sickness do you want to be treated at home or in hospital etc. basically we are taking the hard route of doing everyting at home because hospital makes her miserable

its a weird thing to talk about but it has to be done

it was hot today and we had a nice day anyway. i got my exercise in

i feel relieved that she survived until it started to get sunny so we can actually do the things we've been talking about all winter

[liirker-at-thresholds]

I really like how the scientology speedrunning trend is developing, in this clip we see that the participants are

Not deterred by the closed door

Working as a group

Protecting their identities

Inflicting material costs to the institution via property destruction

Getting away at the end

These ideas were not all here from the beginning. They are genuinely gaining experience that can be applied elsewhere

[liirker-at-thresholds]

The church of scientology is on tumblr and they are sending me anon asks telling me that they can't even commit to reporting a post

[tofubitchel]

yesterday i went on a walk with mum in her new electric wheelchair she bought (i didnt think it was a good idea to get it tbh but i cant tell her anything atm shes very sensitive). and anyway she was not super good at driving it. she drove it off the kerb and was panicking and kept going instead of letting go and letting it stop. she said she doesnt like the chair and will return it.

shes slurring her words and saying more weird stuff too. like she got it in her head ages ago that i need to take her to her diabetic eye screening (end of jun, and i dont see the point like what will it change? she is dying. but i wont tell her that)

anyway she said to us yesterday that we NEED to call the hospital about the eye screening because she needs to make sure the eye drops they put in here eye arent going to make the tumor worse or something because "its chemicals". so i had to reassure her that its fine and if anything was dangerous she would have to sign a consent form. shes had to do that just to get a massage for example

but yeah shes slurring, forgetful, and coming out with some weird shit. ahe also had 2 more falls today and had to get paramedics to help her up again. she told me not to come visit or to worry about her

but i think its coming up to the end now probably. 1 or 2 months

no update on my brother either but since getting told off by my family he has been good. at least until the next time my mum annoys him. hes fine until he gets too emotional then he will say and do anything. but idk. not long left for her now anyway so im just trying to make her happy and comfortable and not rock the boat too much

annywayysysss

[tofubitchel]

YEOWCH my soul

[sealsdaily]

Today's Seal Is: Hiccup... Hiccup... Hiccup

[tofubitchel]

im working so hard to keep my dying mum happy and my brother just has a screaming argument and calls her a cunt (her least favourite word EVER btw she really really does not like it) and he calls me to help him with something, doesnt tell me what he did and then when i get there she is crying her eyes out in her hospital bed. and i dont know whats wrong i think shes just crying because shes literally dying from brain cancer. but its just him. like how could you see such a sad person, she cant walk, has to have a commode next to her to go toilet in cos she cant get to the bathrom any more. she has to bathe herself with a bowl of water. she cant go anywhere without help. SHE CAN BARELY SIT UPRIGHT AND SLUMPS OVER BECAUSE SHE IS SO DISABLED like actually how evil do you have to be to say something like that to someone in that predicament. i actually cant find a word strong enough for how much i despise him and how much of a bad person he is. i dont care what she says to you to wind you up. yes she has a brain tumor that sometimes makes her say out of pocket shit. SHE IS BRAIN DAMAGED. you have to be so fucking pathetic to let that get to you enough to respond to her that way

i told him off and told him to fuck off upstairs and he was getting aggressive to me trying to intimidate me. thats the kind of person he is. big man 1.5 feet taller and 100lbs heavier than me trying to scare me. he used to beat my ass when we were younger now i dont care. hurt me bitch you are going prison. im not scared and you cant upset me like you upset her so just go away you fucking loser. i told him he is so selfish and only cares about himself

[tofubitchel]

my aunt n uncle came round today and had a massive go at my brother, really told him off and told him that he’s evil for doing that to my mum . and he was perfectly well behaved and quiet to them because my uncle is way bigger and stronger than him and he couldn’t intimidate them today which shows his true character to be honest he’ll only listen to a man . and then when we were out taking my mum to lunch he went to the council and told them that we were kicking him out (which isn’t true but we want him gone so she is safe) so they called us and we told them that no he can come home, but we want him to go eventually just because he’s stressing her out and he’s just flies off the handle when he gets angry. So I don’t know what’s gonna happen with that to be honest, I doubt the council will even do anything. we’re still waiting for her to get put into the hospice. There’s no female beds available in the hospice so who knows how long? We’ll have to wait and they offered us a nursing home but obviously we don’t want her to go to those because I know how horrible they can be from my boyfriend working in them .. I really don’t want this kind of stress for my Mum you know I was just trying to make the end of her life as comfortable as possible but he’s making it difficult.