growing

there's always been a little sadness inside my happiness.

[tograndir]

𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙧         .         independent      ,      private   and   selective         :         multi   -   muse   blog         .         featuring      :      𝙝𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙞𝙣      ,      𝙝𝙞𝙠𝙖𝙧𝙪      from   ouran   high   school   host   club         .         canon   divergent   and   headcanon   based         .         loved   and   adored   by   eevee         .         established         :      feb   14th.

low activity   .      carrd.

[lonespring-arch-deactivated2022]

𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜         .         independent      ,      private   and   selective         :         𝙝𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙞𝙣      ,      𝙝𝙞𝙠𝙖𝙧𝙪      from   ouran   high   school   host   club         .         canon   divergent   and   headcanon   based         .         loved   and   adored   by   eevee         .         established         :      may   9th.

[shimzus]

# shimzus : an independent , private / friends only rp blog for shimizu kiyoko from haikyuu !! originally established march 2019. written by sen , she/her , twenty-one , jst timezone. —— carrd.   ❜

[tograndir]

I am never speaking to @comunidadx ever again. Thank you and goodnight

[tograndir]

perhaps   he   was   a   bit   self   indulgent      ,      however   his   reasoning   for   staring   at   himself   in   the   mirror   for   more   than   a   minute   was   nothing   short   of   justified      .      as   fingers   comb   through   his   hair      ,      auburn   roots   could   be   seen   as   hair   was   shifted   around      .      sighing      ,      hikaru   couldn’t   help   but   wonder   if   it   was   even   worth   touching   up   anymore      .   

‟         akaashi      ,         ”         although   he   valued   his   independence   from   his   brother   and   the   fact   that   they   now   look         (         somewhat         )         different      ,      he   was   getting   tired   of   constantly   needing   to   re   -   color   his   hair      .         ‟         should   i   go   back   to   my   natural   hair   color      ?         ”         would   he   even   be   able   to   go   through   with   it   if   he   decided   to   go   back   to   his   natural   hair      ?      honestly      ,      even   thinking   about   it   made   him   a   bit   uneasy      .      

starter for  ›   @akshis​       from  ›   hitachiin , hikaru .

[tograndir]

shimizu, kiyoko.  ›  shimzus​.

          “  the beach ?  ”  she turns her head and wonders if she’d heard him correctly. had he said something else instead , maybe ? —— like screech , or something like that … but it’s her eyes that are weak , not her ears. somehow , shimizu knows she hasn’t heard yamazaki-kun wrong. he wants to go to the beach , which in its own regard can be fun , even without swimming : just wading up to the ankles ( she doesn’t particularly want to show him her leg scars yet , anyways ) , tossing an inflatable volleyball back and forth , picking shells , eating popsicles , lighting sparklers at sundown … 

she’s interested. but still , shimizu gives the impression of thinking the prospect over carefully , turning her eyes to a point just beyond his shoulder and pursing her lips in silence. the answer , however , doesn’t seem to convey that she’d thought very hard about it :  “ okay.  ”

and   he   smiles   as   offer   was   taken      ,      though   as   heart   feels   heavy   and   anxiety   settles   at   the   pit   of   his   stomach      .      sousuke   wonders      ,      was   he   even   ready   for   this      ?      he   knew   that   kiyoko   would   understand   if   he’d   change   his   mind      ,      however         ...         there   was   no   way   he’d   be   able   to   grow   if   he   continued   to   let   his   fears   and   self   guilt   consume   him   like   this      .         ‟         alright      .         ”         with   that      ,      he   had   decided   to   move   forward      .      there   was   no   where   else   but   up   from   now   on      .      

‟         the   weather   is   supposed   to   be   nice   tomorrow      ,      should   we   just   pack   tonight   and   head   out   early   in   the   morning      ?         ”         hmmm         ....      he   wonders      ,      did   they   have   everything   they   needed      ?      if   they   forgot   something   would   they   be   able   to   find   it   when   they   got   to   the   beach      ?         ‟         should   we   do   some   shopping   first      ?         ”      to   be   frank      ,      he   wasn’t   necessarily   asking      ,      rather   just   speak   aloud   to   himself      .      but   any   input   from   kiyoko   would   be   nice      .

[tograndir]

there's   always   been   a   little sadness   inside   my   happiness     .

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃  𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.   (  found  family  is  one  of  my  all  time  favorite  tropes  so  i’ve  decided  to  make  these  starters  ,  including  both  fluff  and  angst.  feel  free  to  adjust  to  better  fit  your  muses.  )

❛  you’re like the family i wish i had.  ❜ ❛  i trust you with my life.  ❜ ❛  please don’t ever leave me.  ❜ ❛  you’re the only person i have left !  ❜ ❛  you’re more than just a friend to me. you’re family.  ❜ ❛  i don’t want to be alone anymore.  ❜ ❛  you’re the closest thing to a brother / sister i have.  ❜ ❛  come on , give me a hug.  ❜ ❛  i love you , [name].  ❜ ❛  you’re my favorite person in the whole world.  ❜ ❛  thank you for always being there for me.  ❜ ❛  this means more to me than you can imagine.  ❜ ❛  i care about you and i will always care about you.  ❜ ❛  you’re acting like my mom.  ❜ ❛  shut up and let me comfort you.  ❜ ❛  i’ve never been part of a group before.  ❜ ❛  you have no idea just how important you are to me.  ❜ ❛  i seriously regret letting you move in with me.  ❜ ❛  can you just hold me for a while ?  ❜ ❛  i couldn’t ask for a better friend.  ❜ ❛  is this what family is supposed to be like ?  ❜ ❛  i wish we had grown up together.  ❜ ❛  it feels like you’ve always been part of my life.  ❜ ❛  you know me better than anyone.  ❜ ❛  just leave me alone , okay ?  ❜ ❛  this place is the closest thing to home i have.  ❜ ❛  i’m so lucky i got to meet you.  ❜ ❛  if you ask me , this whole ‘blood is thicker than water’ thing is nonsense.  ❜ ❛  you’re making me feel a little less lonely.  ❜ ❛  just face it , you’re stuck with me now - whether you want to or not.  ❜ ❛  i want to grow old with you.  ❜ ❛  you’re the first person who has accepted me for who i am.  ❜ ❛  i’ve finally found my people.  ❜ ❛  will you still love me even if i tell you my secret ?  ❜ ❛  no matter what you do or say , i’m not leaving you.  ❜ ❛  you don’t have to deal with this on you’re own.  ❜ ❛  i want to help you , but you have to let me in.  ❜ ❛  this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.  ❜ ❛  i’m here fore you. today. tomorrow. every day for the rest of you’re life.  ❜ ❛  if you need me , i’m just one call away.  ❜

[tograndir]

grabby hands for her bestie... no words. just hands. outstretched. hikaruuuuu.......

it   wasn’t   that   hikaru   was   purposefully   ignoring   her      ;      honestly      ,      he   hadn’t   even   realized   that   she   wanted   his   attention      .      music   blasting   in   his   ears   and   hyper   focused   at   the   task   in   hand      .      by   chance      ,      he   had   looked   up   in   time   to   see   kiyoko   reaching   out   for   him      .      confused      ,      hikaru   would   lean   in   and   place   his   face   between   her   hands      .      

‟         umm         ...         ”         although   that   probably   wasn’t   what   she   wanted      ,      he   would   keep   his   head   in   place      .      smiling      ,      he   looks   at   her   innocently      .         ‟         you   bored      ?      want   to   go   out   and   take   a   walk   with   me   when   i’m   done      ?         ”   

[tograndir]

like for a starter : please specify muse !

[tograndir]

tanaka, ryuunosuke.  ›  pontevoix​.

‘  hey hey hey — ‘  a repeated mantra stumbles like a train picking up speed, & its message comes less as a greeting & more as a … hype-me-up. tanaka gears himself up for hello. granted, he does so without need. shyness & tanaka are a mismatched combination.

 gearing himself like this? It’s a way of assessment, of sizing up his company.

this is the one that kiyoko’s befriended, right? the one that tanaka has seen in passing across campus when he’s waving kiyoko a too-loud hello across the courtyard 

pretty badass. any friend of his team’s manager is a friend of tanaka’s — though, maybe kiyoko would disagree. tanaka interrupts his mantra with a barked & punctuating laugh. ‘ nah, man, don’t worry. walking into open lockers is my thing. ‘ 

It was not, in fact, his thing. but it was funny, right? 

‘ helps a man develop a hard head! ‘ 

   @tofiorire​ | starter call

the   voice   was   so         (         annoyingly         )         loud      .      and   though   he   wanted   so   badly   to   ignore   who   it   belonged   to      ,      that   wasn’t   so   easy   as   he   had   already   turned   to   look   at   who   was   calling   out   for   him      .      eyebrows   furrowed   as   he   looked   at   the   other      .      where   had   he   seen   him   before      ,      hikaru   wasn’t   good   at   remembering   people         ...      well   people   he   found   no   interest   in   that   is      .      yet      ,      their   voice   and   face   was   buried   so   deep   into   their   mind   that   it   was   agitating   how   he   wasn’t   able   to   remember   them      .      

watching   them      ,      he   scoffed   and   rolled   his   eyes   as   the   other   made   contact   with   an   open   locker      .         ‟         well   since   you’re   not   bleeding   then   it   seems   like   you   have   one   hard   head      .         ”         thank   god   he   wasn’t   bleeding      ,      hikaru   didn’t   want   to   be   the   one   responsible   for   taking   him   to   the   infirmary         ...         and   he   also   didn’t   want   to   get   any   blood   on   him      .      

‟         did   you   need   something   from   me      ?         ”         he   questioned   as   he   readjusted   the   bag   that   settled   upon   his   shoulders      .         ‟         after   all      ,      no   one   calls   for   someone   so   loud   if   they   didn’t   need   anything      ,         so   what   is   it      ?         ”

[tograndir]

hitachiin, kaoru.  ›  @comunidadx​​

       Their plans were set. Put their groceries away, complete their paper due the following week, and then take a nice bath to unwind after a busy day. Finals were a killer time and the younger Hitachiin twin was really looking forward to indulging in some self-care. But, that would be almost impossible with a guest. A very whiny and nosy intruder actually. 

       Hikaru was lucky that Kaoru missed him so much because any other day, they would have kicked him out without a care in the world. 

       They set a few bags down before bumping his hip with theirs, “ Move, I need to put things away. And, sit down and stop acting like a spoiled kid so I can make dinner for us. ” Their tone was harsh but after a few seconds, they dropped the mean look and hugged their sibling. It was incredible that they were even able to hold back the tears. “ Mind telling me why you’re here? Don’t you have finals, dummy? ”

letting   out   a   huff   as   he   was   bumped   out   of   the   way      ,      hikaru   would   pout   but   only   briefly   before   a   smile   settles   upon   his   lips      .      hand   pats   the   others   back   as   they   were   brought   into   a   hug      .      although   he   had   already   gotten   used   to   living   alone      ,      it   was   when   they   were   reunited   that   hikaru   realized   just   how   lonely   he   really   was      .      

‟         hmmm         ----         i   was   able   to   do   them   early   so   i   could   go   home      .         ”         once   released   from   the   embrace      ,      hikaru   would   go   and   follow   his   brother’s   advice   and   take   a   seat      .         ‟         and   before   you   get   the   wrong   idea      ,      no   i   didn’t   bribe   my   professors   so   they’d   let   me   take   them   early      .         ”      he   stated   inbetween   taking   sips   of   his   juice      .      but   it   would   be   of   no   surprise   that   he   didn’t   think   about   bribing   them   if   they   said   no      ,      however   that’s   a   secret   he’ll   keep   to   himself      .

setting   his   juice   down      ,      he’d   let   out   a   groan   as   he   stretched   out   his   arms   and   legs      .      being   cooped   up   in   a   plane   for   hours   really   did   a   number   on   his   body   and   he   was   so   fatigued   he   didn’t   even   think   he’d   make   it   to   kaoru’s   place   today      .         ‟         but   what   about   you      ?      how   are   your   finals   going      ?      do   you   need   help   with   anything      ?         ”

[tograndir]

maybe      ....      it   was   time   to   go   back   to   the   water      .      it   had   been   a   while   since   his   diagnosis   and   sousuke   hadn’t   stepped   foot   near   a   body   of   water   nor   went   anywhere   close   to   a   pool      .      how   weird   was   it   that   something   that   made   him   so   happy   now   brought   him   nothing   but   sadness      .      but      ,      this   time   around      ,      maybe   he   could   heal   from   the   scars   that   were   left   behind      .      perhaps   by   making   a   fond   memory   and   closing   the   chapter   of   his   previous   life   he   can   finally   heal   some   of   the   emotional   scars      .      

‟         kiyo      -      chan      ,         ”         calling   out   towards   her         ;      sousuke   wanted   to   heal      ,      however   he   wanted   kiyoko   to   be   by   his   side   as   he   does   so      .         ‟         should   we   take   a   trip   to   the   beach      ?         ”

starter for  ›   @shimzus       from  ›   yamazaki , sousuke .

[tograndir]

(late valentine's day who cares) " yamazaki-kun , " shimizu calls in a gentle voice , outstretching her hand as if to reach for him. she doesn't actually touch him , though ... instead waiting for him to approach her before she places the hand on his arm lightly. " this , " is all she says , unveiling a little gift bag of valentine's sugar cookies. she made three kinds : vanilla with chocolate chip , cocoa , and matcha. the bag is tied with a pink ribbon and a little handmade card , which features a ... pretty bad ... drawing of him in swim goggles. but she worked hard ... can she have a kiss for it ? " because i like you , " she needlessly reminds him. " it's for valentine's. "

and   though   he   was   a   bit   busy   at   the   moment      ,         when   attention   was   called   for   he   didn't   hesitate   to   drop   everything   he   was   doing      .      sousuke   smiles   fondly   at   the   gift   he   was   given      .         ‟         hmmm      ...         ---         ”         humming      ,      he   takes   a   closer   look   at   the   card   that   was   attached   the   the   bag   of   cookies      .      upon   seeing   the   doodle   that   was   on   the   card      ,      sousuke   couldn’t   help   but   chuckle      .      not   because   it   was   awful      ,      rather   it   just   reminded   him   of   something   that   he’d   conjure   up   if   he   had   even   tried   to   draw   anything      .      

tucking   the   card   into   his   pocket   for   safe   keeping      .      looking   at   her      ,      eyebrows   raised   at   the   not   so   surprising   confession      (      and   reminder      )      .         ‟         because   you   like   me      ,      huh      ?         ”         though   he   wasn’t   asking   for   conformation      ,      rather   he   was   just   repeating   the   statement   because   he   enjoyed   the   fact   that   she   liked   him      .      leaning   over      ,      he’d   give   her   a   small   kiss   upon   her   forehead      .      

‟         well   if   you   like   me   so   much      ...      then   why   don’t   we   go   out   on   a   date      ?         ”         

[tograndir]

preoccupied   with   pushing   things   around   in   the   fridge      ,      he   almost   didn’t   realize   that   someone   was   coming   into   the   home      .      however   instead   of   getting   startled   by   the   sudden   intrusion      ,      hikaru   would   let   out   a   loud   groan   to   make   his   presence   known      .      not   because   he   wanted   the   intruder   to   know   that   someone   was   home      ,      rather   it   was   to   let   the   other   know   that   he   was   the   intruder      .   

‟         kaoru      ...         ----         ”         he   whines   as   he   settles   for   grabbing   the   last   juice   box   in   the   fridge      .         ‟         why   do   you   have   nothing   to   eat      ?      i’m   starving      !         ”         you   know      ,      maybe   breaking   and   entering   into   your   brothers   home   to   surprise   them   wasn’t   the   brightest   idea      ,      but         ....         he   was   too   hungry   and   tired   to   even   care   about   what   was   right   or   wrong      .

starter for  ›  @comunidadx       from  ›   hitachiin , hikaru .