[eggnogrph-blog]

Send 💕 and my muse will use The Love Calculator to see how compatible they are.

Site being used (x)

[tohsakas-blog1]

[tohsakas-blog1]

MRI & chill with the boyfriend this morning. ;^)

[mitchellwrites]

deathless ♚ sentence meme

You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast.

You are going to break your promise. I understand.

You’re lonely too.

It will stop your breath, how cruel I can be.

I am a demanding creature. I am selfish and cruel and extremely unreasonable.

I am your servant.

I crawl at your feet; for before your love, your kisses, I am debased.

For you alone I will be weak.

I belong here, and you will not deny me.

I say these things, and the world listens.

I do not tolerate a world emptied of you. I have tried.

In the dark, I have pored over the loss of you like pale gold.

I will not let her speak because I love her, and when you love someone, you do not make them tell war stories.

I moved the earth and the water for you.

You will always run away with her.

You will always lose her.

You will always be a fool.

You will always be dead, in a city of ice, snow falling into your ear.

You have already done all of this and will do it again.

No one should be judged for loving more than they ought, only for loving not enough.

We look terrible to you, and severe, and you see our blood flying.

What we carry between us is hard-won, and we made it just as we wished it to be, just the color, just the shape.

There need never be any rules between us.

Let us be greedy together; let us hoard.

Do not leave me, swear that you will never leave me.

I am selfish. I am cruel. My mate cannot be less than I.

Sleep with fists closed and shoot straight.

I can’t abide a poor liar.

You look like a winter’s night. I could sleep inside the cold of you.

Oh, quit that. Blushing is for virgins and Christians.

Scold me; deny me. Tell me you want what you want and damn me forever. But don’t leave me.

Bad luck relies on absolutely perfect timing.

In his own country, Death can be kind.

What is the world but a boxing ring where fools and devils put up their fists?

Men die. It’s practically what they’re for.

I am no one; I am nothing.

Nothing in me was not made by you.

A revelation is always the end of something. It might even be cause for grief.

Just tell yourself a story that’ll satisfy you and pretend he told it.

Forever isn’t bright; it isn’t like that. Forever is cold and hard and final.

I savor bitterness - it is born of experience. It is the privilege of one who has truly lived.

If you want to kill yourself, do not use us as your knife.

What did I do wrong? Was I boring? Did I ignore you?

Don’t you dare speak to me like that.

I have worn nothing but blood and death for years.

I have fought all your battles for you, just as you asked me.

I have learned not to cry when I strangle a man.

I have learned to watch everything die.

I am not a little girl anymore, dazzled by your magic. It is my magic, now, too.

Are we not devils?

No one is now what they were before the war.

I have not seen you without your skin on.

Close up your head; your brain is getting loose.

We obsess. It’s in our nature.

I’ve a devil of a habit for being right.

In war you must always choose sides.

If you try to be a bridge laid down between them, they will tear you in half.

We are all dead. All equal. Broken and aimless and believing we are alive.

My old bones will follow yours soon enough.

It is better to be strong and cruel than to be fair.

I will see him with his skin off before I agree to fall in love.

After love, no one is what they were before.

I have survived, but I have not been spared.

In the space of one heartbeat to another I loved you and I was lost to you.

Frighten me, make me cry, only come back.

It’s not so bad, my darling. Being dead. It’s like being alive, only colder.

You’ll think it’s love, while he dines on your heart.

You will be so beautiful when you are old.

I cannot keep you and I cannot let you go.

You will live as you live in any world…with difficulty, and grief.

I look at you and it is like my throat being cut.

She said you’d come and I swore to eat your heart.

I still want to kiss you.

My heart is being cut in two. I cannot bear it.

What happens to anything beautiful?

I have to know, I have to or else you will just rule me until the end of everything because you know and I do not.

[tohsakas-blog1]

wheezes i have a lot to do today so i might not be online tonight, just a heads up!

[tohsakas-blog1]

rolling to my oc for the rest of the night!

[tohsakas-blog1]

@asturiat

               It’s not that she’s tired of shopping -- okay, yes it is, it totally is. “Carme,” the ravenette breathes, taking a moment to center herself, “can we take a break? We’ve practically refurbished your winter wardrobe.”

[tohsakas-blog1]

stomach: i want to die stomach: jk i want to eat me: ?????? ( eats some chips ) stomach: JOKES ON YOU :^))))

[maluspuerum-a-deactivated201806]

❛ … If it wasn’t for you… I’d probably be dead… or… worse, I guess. Being the Grail isn’t fun… &&. I’m sure it’s just going to continue to ruin my life– ❜ 

        ❛ … The experience, at least. Not the Grail… I mean… It’s gone, Saber destroyed it, so it can’t cause any more trouble for anyone– ❜ 

&&. ever since the end of the war, Shinji Matou had suddenly become absolutely terrible at lying about things like that. Gaze focused upon his own hands- the hands that had hurt Sakura. The hands that had hurt Rin &&. Rider– The hands that had grasped for nonexistent help while Hell’s gate was opened within him–

        &&. more importantly, the hands that would one day perform alchemy. The hands that would take away as much of the pain as they caused. As much as possible, at least. 

❛ … Just… out of curiosity… what was your wish? Everyone has one… right? Thats why that stupid war even happens at all… I mean… in hindsight, it seems like a really horrible idea… but some wishes are interesting… Or even noble– Shirou was going to wish for a world where no one had to cry, right? That’s… well, very Shirou. &&. very noble… ❜

[tohsakas-blog1]

               “What happened -- wasn’t your fault, Shinji,” Rin was being unusually forthcoming today, fingers brushing against a hand that once harbored command seals, “if Kotomine had things his way, I would have been the grail.” In a way she was grateful to him, but -- then again, it was a little selfish of her to feel that way. “A-Anyways, I’m just glad we both made it out alive.”

               The mention of wishes garners an enthusiastic look from the mage, a smile tugging at her lips, “I was going to wish for an army of myself! And together we would take over the world!” Imagine, if you will, an unstoppable army of Rin Tohsakas. “Just kidding -- I never really had a wish, I guess. The only goal of the Tohsaka lineage is to win the grail, what a lame thing to aspire to.” And yet she’d spent years training for the war, shed blood for it, taken life for it.

[pathwalks-blog]

      Her sudden shifts in emotion are something that most people find difficult to tolerate, but not Shirou - he’s grown more than accustomed to them, he’s grown to view them as just another thing that makes him love her. She emotes more freely than she may enjoy, but to him, it’s something to treasure, something he’d like to protect. She feels so strongly about so many things. He never wants to see a day come to pass where she loses that aspect of herself.

      Even sadness, difficult emotions, even those… those are important too, are they not? 

      “Are you trying to tell me I’m getting old…?” He jests, but seats himself in front of her all the same, less lighthearted than his words may have hinted at and far more compassionate. “It’s just hair, Rin.” He grabs the tape, eyes it carefully, knowing full well what such a small thing is truly implying, but he smiles nonetheless. “I’m still me.”

[tohsakas-blog1]

                    “You know that’s not what I mean,” her gaze narrows slightly, tone more serious than it had been before, “I just -- I don’t want to lose you to your ideals.” And she doesn’t exactly know what she means by that, but she does know that it has to happen someday ( despite her best wishes ). Changing the future is a difficult task -- one that may put him in the exact same position as ARCHER. But she admires his resolve, she always has. “Your hair doesn’t matter to me, you could dye it bright pink for all I care,” she continues, resting her elbows against the tiny wooden table placed neatly between them, “but I don’t -- want you to forget about me. You know, when you get there.”  

[tohsakas-blog1]

@archvrous​

               To say that the war hadn’t been discreetly chipping away at ( what seemed like ) a limitless supply of mana would be a lie -- not that Rin had ever let just how exhausted she was, after all, there was no time for a good night’s sleep when one was fighting for the grail. It wasn’t unlike her to slip into a quick nap when working up an enchantment or lacing gemstones with secrets and spells. Her dreams are lucid, at most she is only ever half-asleep.

               Which is precisely why she lurches at the sudden sound of footsteps, cerulean hues snapping open as she resists the urge to blind fire Gandr toward the disruption. Unwanted adrenaline courses through her veins, a sigh escaping her throat as a familiar head of white hair steps into the moonlight filtering through her curtains. “A -- Archer?!” A hiss, fingers curling into her palms as she grimaces, “You scared me half to death!” 

[pathwalks-blog]

@tohsakas

      “Oh, no,” he sets his things down on the counter, eyeing Rin warily as he does so. “You don’t look too happy this evening. Did I forget a date? Did the leftovers I had set out for your dinner taste bad? You’re going to yell at me for something, I can just feel it—”

[tohsakas-blog1]

               “I-I am not going to yell!” Except maybe just then, but outbursts like that were typical of her at this point -- it’s pointless to expect less. A sigh ensues, her gaze softening slightly as fingers curl into the soft material of her skirt. The more she thinks about it the harder it becomes to mask her concern -- this wasn’t just anyone, this was Shirou.  

               “I just -- I found this on your pillow a couple of days ago,” she breathes out, retrieving the single strand of white hair she’d stuck between two pieces of tape, “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

[solongfarewellmaywenotmeetagain]

    @tohsakas;

     “ —— Does my face fascinate?” His voice cleaved the silence that had fallen between them like a heavy, velvet curtain. “Never mind.” She did not welcome him. She glowered. She grimaced. She knew nothing. But he knew of her — this ‘ Rin ’ — in vague recollection, a passing remark near lost in the tide of ten years. This one looked like her sire with the same cold eyes shining like London blue topazes. Magi oft forget the heroes were more than sculptural companions. They were all iron, mud, and blood. ( Death, too. Always death. ) And he was the king of them. Mortal flesh contained not the enormous power of his cruel, beautiful body, even in his gentlest gestures.

     Gilgamesh threw open the doors of the grand and empty study room the way generals entered war rooms. In every footstep of his echoed unnerving familiarity that was not lost on this Tohsaka progeny. ( This old house cannot deny him of its secret. ) He was sure he saw suspicion well up in her fine, youthful mien. Ten years… He’d not been in this room since its patriarch coloured the carpets red. Good instinct, he mused, disdaining the priest and whatever ‘ gift ’ he presented. The old devices from then gathered dust on the shelves, and the king touched them mirthfully before moving to the window. A favoured spot. “You’ve hardly said a word to me. How deep your attachment must’ve been to that… man, Rin.” Gilgamesh said her name as if it were his to beckon like all manner of things. “It’s quite all right, it costs nothing to be plain with me.”

[tohsakas-blog1]

              Cerulean pools fell heavy upon her new companion, brows knitting in spite of Kirei’s words -- he speaks of trust in the same cryptic way he speaks about most things ( the wound of betrayal is too fresh, she finds herself bitter ). Her fingers are curled so tightly into the subject that when she is asked to let go she can only insist that she has. And that is why she begrudgingly accepted this new servant -- though he acts more like a man than a spirit, and sustaining his form doesn’t seem to cost her any mana ( which is strange, but not unwelcome considering her mental state ). Even more strange is his apparent knowledge of the layout of her home.

                Footsteps falls short of the study, and she wishes for nothing more to close the doors behind the blonde and spend the rest of the evening hunting down Caster on her own. This was her father’s study. Out of all the places in this empty house, he picks the one that torments her the most -- she thinks it must be instinctual to him. Lithe arms fold, one over the other as she enters ( injuries sustained during Archer's antics seething at her touch ) and she opts to sit at the desk across from the spirit, grimacing. “Kirei made no mention of your big mouth,” she replies finally, unwilling to touch the subject for the time being, "then again, he does tend to leave out the more important subjects -- for example, your previous master. What happened to them?”

[maluspuerum-a-deactivated201806]

❛ I’m not avoiding, Rin– I’m keeping my sanity– ❜ 

         ❛ …But… I guess since you’re here… Why? You know… you could’ve saved everyone a lot of trouble… if you’d just… you know… told Saber to do all of that without walking through hell… ❜ 

He’d always wondered about that– why had Rin saved him? After everything he’d done, that was the last thing he’d expected from anyone. He remembered waking up in the hospital, confused &&. disoriented– &&. Sakura came to visit…. 

            ❛ … Well… I guess… Thanks– ❜

[tohsakas-blog1]

               Why? A good question on his part -- after all, she bore scars for him and quite nearly got herself swept up in excalibur’s blast radius just to drag him out of that tainted mass of flesh and unholy wishes. “It was --” she pauses, purses rosen lips in a manner that may appear cold to some, “well, it was the right thing to do, Shinji.”

                     Rin Tohsaka had never been the poster child for heroism -- she’d changed over the course of a war that threatened to take lives on both sides. She was not the cold, calculating mage her father was. “Y-You don’t have to thank me, jeez!”

[tohsakas-blog1]

Off of work but traffic is grade A horrendous and I'm low-key a weak ass driver so I'll be back soon...ish?

[tohsakas-blog1]

Today was my day off, but since my workplace is hemmoraging hours lately I had to pick up a 4 hour shift today. Expect me here around 7 ish (PST)? For the time being I'm going to catch up on Jessica Jones and TWD (the telltale game, not the crap show lmao)

[maluspuerum-a-deactivated201806]

@tohsakas

Awkwardly shoves all of his books in his bookbag. Hell no is Rin Tohsaka going to learn about his recent application to the Atlas Institute &&. hell no is he staying to have a panic attack– 

Although, knowing Rin, she’d already noticed at least the books. Okay then, hell no was Rin Tohsaka learning about how he’d now ended up in the ‘half-assed grail’ group with his sister…

[tohsakas-blog1]

               Rin wasn’t an idiot. If was hard not to keep tabs on Shinji after what had happened -- after she went through all the trouble of pulling him out of that unholy grail instead of simply opting to have Saber blow him away with the rest of it ( no one deserved that, even after what he did -- or tried to do ).

               Calloused fingers meet his desk as a familiar look crosses her face, brows narrowing, fingers curling, “If you’re going to avoid me, Shinji, at least do it right.” Bending slightly, she retrieves one of his books from the ground, placing it neatly atop his bookbag.