born to lose.

sarah. 21. akron ohio. music lover. adventurer. optimist. learning to be happy.

[rainbowstufffuckyeah]

[tolivetolearntogrow]

4. buy a house, pick out paint, and paint each room together.

[teenytinyhomes]

Van dwelling

[tolivetolearntogrow]

3. convert like a school bus into something like an rv and travel.

[lizbford]

Stan Hywet Hall and Gardens (@lizbford)

[tolivetolearntogrow]

2. go to stan hywet at christmas time.

[gratefuldeadnotes]

[summerbummr]

don’t be a bummer babe

[everythingkaliuchis]

[summerbummr]

don’t be a bummer babe

[kitty-n-classe]

[tolivetolearntogrow]

runnin from the cops in our black bikini tops. ;)

[tolivetolearntogrow]

[tolivetolearntogrow]

I wish I hadn't lost this shirt and damn I was skinny back then..

[tolivetolearntogrow]

i’m losing all my self control. i don’t want to end up back where i used to be, but at the same time it’s all i want. i feel like that’s the only way i’ll be happy with myself.. i just wish i could be perfect.

[325mgs]

[wwishfulthinker]

I don’t need to be reminded 

[tolivetolearntogrow]

all i want right now is a cigarette and for pictures of food to stop popping up on my dash.. is that too much to ask? 

[tolivetolearntogrow]

so days like today I wish I could shut my brain off. everything is telling me all the reasons that no one will ever love me. no one will ever see me as more than just a body. not good enough, nothing special, just me. one day I hope I see myself as someone worth something, but today all I see are calories and regrets. I see everything as part of why I want to smash every mirror i've ever looked in. why can't I just be whole? I want to see ME when I look in the mirror, not a reflection that wants me to be numb and broken. not a reflection that makes me feel like nothing I do is right.. I measure my worth as a fucking number on a fucking scale and it makes me want to blow my head off. what is normal? being normal sounds way better than striving for unattainable perfection. at least these cigarettes make me feel somewhat alive.. until they kill me.

[tolivetolearntogrow]

the apology that took too long.

i know it probably doesn't matter anymore and that you probably couldn't care less, but i should've said i'm sorry. i'm about a year too late. i never should have hurt you, i never should have walked away. i was scared, i fell back into my comfort zone and fell back into my past bad decisions. i drank my poison and the karma i received was well-deserved. some days i wished i would have drowned in that bathtub so you never would have met me. none of this would have ever happened. i was a shitty person and i didn't deserve a friend like you. i hope you've been better off without me. i know i should've said this a long time ago, but i'm so sorry.

[grunge-vision]

[lana-l-deactivated20140626]

[kushandwizdom]

[tolivetolearntogrow]

me, if i talk: i'm being so annoying and everybody hates me and thinks i'm weird

me, if i don't talk: i'm being so weird and distant and everybody hates me and thinks i'm weird