Today's winner: this kid...
Mom: I don't have $60 for new shoes! This kid: BUT YOU HAVE $60 FOR TATTOOS AND HAIR EXTENSIONS!!!
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@tonightswinner
Today's winner: this kid...
Mom: I don't have $60 for new shoes! This kid: BUT YOU HAVE $60 FOR TATTOOS AND HAIR EXTENSIONS!!!
Today's winner
Today's winner: My uber driver who thinks roads with out lines can't have cars driving in opposite directions. He also just asked me if we were in New Jersey. Or if we were going to New Jersey. I can read on his screen that is says Southhampton, PA.
Tonight's winner:
The busser who said he didn't understand how a shop vac worked.
Tonight's winner:
The guy that said "yo that was my mom and she said to get to know you better cause you look thick and responsible"
Tonight's winner:
The 30 year old who threw a Salsa cause he got cut off... Then tipped 90%.
Customer: “What sizes do you have?”
Me: “Small and Regular”
Customer: “Oh I’ll get medium.”
Me: *thinking* Wouldn’t it be delicious to be that stupid?
Im sorry but the worst word in the English language is "regular"
Tonight’s Winner:
The guy that called me racist then said "Oh i'm just flirting with you."
The differences between men and woman:
I tell two woman to get a large order of wing instead of two small ones because it’s cheaper.  They get upset because they can’t possibly figure out how to split a check down the middle.
I two men to  get a large order of wing instead of two small ones because it’s cheaper.  They Get upset because how dare I make them eat off the same plate.
Sometimes you can't decide who to cut... So everyone draws a cat and the dishwasher picks the winner.
Tonight's winner:
the two girls who went the extra mile for their friend when they realized she couldn't walk and ripped off her heals and magically pulled out flats for her. Great team work ladies!
WHEN PEOPLE SIT INSIDE THE RESTAURANT WITH THEIR SUNGLASSES ON
Clearly everyone is wearing prescription sunglasses cause their regular glasses broke... Right?
Tonight's winner:
The guy who said he was ready to leave but didn't want to have to walk thru the 12 ladies at the bar that made up the "ratchet express"
Tonight's Winner:
The lady who asked me what type if liquor is in a tequila flight.
Tonight's winner:
The lady who called to tell me in a very slurred voice that she had been kicked out of the last two bars she walked into … But she wasn’t drunk so she was gonna come in.
Tonight's winner:
The lady who said "look I read the specials wrong and ordered the wrong thing WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT!" Me: nothing. Her: alright then just making sure.
Tonight's winner:
The girl who walked up to me and said "you got a big butt.... But not in a bad way"
Tonight's winner:
The busser who was eating from the plates he was bussing, then got food poisoning.