hold my hand

i got issues with trusting you just letting you know i'm emotionally unavailable

[toofcded]

lilahgoode:

“ oh, you’re preaching to the choir, my friend. ” she was more than aware just how entitled passengers thought themselves to be, even though their child’s papercut doesn’t come close to being as demanding as another’s broken arm. “ that’s the worst part of this job, really — whether you’re a security guard or a nurse, no one’s authority is higher than the passengers’.. apparently. ” answering his grin with one of her own, delilah tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and shrugged delicately. “ if there’s ever anyone you don’t have to worry about ranting to, it’s me. i know i’ve gone off on more than a few tangents to unsuspecting co-workers about the trials of my job, too. as for my shift.. well, someone decided to upchuck all over my nice clean examination table, but that’s nothing out of the ordinary. ”

“well, you know what they say; the customer’s always right. and the passengers are customers. they pay for the ticket on the ship and for everything they get whilst they’re on board. it’s like we’re not human beings, we’re just robots with no emotions or feelings. we just exist for their pleasure and help. which is whatever, but you know, it’s a bit shit.” xavier smiled a little as delilah kept talking and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pressed his cheek against her hair. “you’re a babe, you know that? sometimes just need a shoulder to whine on. especially after a shitty shift. but you can do the same with me. always. if you ever need to cry or whine on someone, that’s me. you can just come and have a chat and i’ll listen to everything. that sounds lovely. real fucking nice. i know you can’t actually blame them if they’re feeling ill, but god. aim a little, at least.”

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hunterbrcoks:

      hunter nodded as he listened to the xavier go on about work drama, only somewhat listening to what he had to say. ❝ i don’t know, these days people just love to hate on any type of authority figure. everybody wants to stick it to the man or some shit. ❞ he shrugged at the other’s question about his own shift, brows somewhat furrowed together as he wracked his brain for anything that stood out. ❝ oh y’know, same as everyday. just a handful of people sending back their food saying it wasn’t what they ordered when it actually fuckin’ was. ❞

“yeah, but they need to realise that like, i’m not the man. i’m working for the man. i’m working for the man under the man under the man. probably even more under that. they’re just annoying and don’t have any care for anything but themselves, but what can you do?” he shrugged, unscrewing the cap of his water bottle and drank heavily from it. he was surely in need of something to keep his hydration levels up and the water was heavenly to him now. “they’re so fucking annoying. like, honestly, you ordered the food and it didn’t look like what you thought it would. it’s still the food you ordered, mate, get fucking with it.”

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dcytons:

   “i usually do.” he chuckles to himself. “any excuse to take a shot, i’ll take it.”

“i can’t say i blame you too much. it’s like when passengers win big, they give me a couple chips on their way out. though, i’m not too sure on the policy about that one, so i haven’t done anything with any of them, yet. don’t want to get myself fired over it, you know?” he laughed a little, though the situation was potentially bigger than just a joke he was trying to make it.

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umakras:

“Ah, you’ll get used to it sooner or later. As long as your brain doesn’t tempt you to throw them over the ship— just try your best to ignore their annoyance.” She responded, remember her experience with rude passengers. Who knew someone could attempt to tell her the show was horrible, when they paid to see it and everyone else thought otherwise. “Sometimes they listen, sometimes they don’t. You have to catch them on a good day or enforce the rules extremely well. Fortunately, my shift doesn’t start until night but, I can tell you I’m not mentally prepared for it.”

“oh, trust me. i’m plenty used to it. you just gotta get it off your chest sometimes, you know?” xavier had to be honest, he had only heard akira sing a few times but her voice was heavenly. though, he wasn’t sure he could tell her that without it sounding strange or like he was a fanboy for her or something. “yeah, i know what you mean. you’re not? why’s that? your voice is amazing and every time i’ve seen you, however little, you’re always rocking the stage and making everything pretty damn incredible.” well, that was one way to do it. he just hoped she didn’t find him strange for it. though, he had never met a person who didn’t like being praised about their talents.

[toofcded]

shxttercd:

    “authority is a lost cause it seems. especially here on this damned ship. i’ve had to help security get drunk arses out of the club numerous times. was you the only one on shift?” it was actually quite embarrassing to think that milo had been one of those people quite a few times. way to drunk to even think about what sort of scene he was making and throwing fists and curses first. getting sober was the hardest and best decision he’d ever made. “same as usual, really. drunks and lots of them. this one was sure that his aunt had married her bulldog. he was set on trying to prove it and make me believe it.” the brit laughs. 

“it really is. but i guess there’s nothing you can do when you’re really nothing more than the hired help, you know? it’s a bit of a mess, but we can’t change it. just have to deal with it and roll with the punches. yeah, it was just me. it’s usually such a slow night, so it’s not like there’s actually a need for multiple guys on. but there’s always one passenger who just wants to fuck everything up for you, you know?” xavier rolled his shoulders back and lifted his hand to rub over his face. talking about it all actually seemed to make him feel worse about the situation, so he just sort of wanted to phase out of talking through it. “well, damn. did he prove it? did you believe it? ‘cause like, that sounds pretty damn insane and weird. but also kinda cool? i don’t even know.”

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cabrcra:

there was a grin that covered her lips at how worked up he seemed to get over the story. ‘ i guess they see it as our job to clean up after them. it’s a vacation, they’re supposed to relax but like you said, the rules still exist..and it really isn’t that hard to be a decent person. ’ she paused speaking momentarily while she laughed at his mention of kicking the kid out. ‘ oh my god xavier, you wouldn’t ! besides, it wasn’t that much and he was the only one who had really bad a mess so we cleaned it up almost immediately after the film was over. ’ she shrugged, a light burst of laughter escaping her lips. ‘ i went to the club the other day for the first time and i almost had a panic attack. i’d never done anything like that and i nearly died. thank god for milo because i would’ve been deceased, no longer here. ’

“er, i totally would. and i definitely will if you ever need me to. the passengers can be such assholes on here, it’s just shit. but then you get some that are real nice and make you realise why you’re even here.” xavier grinned, flashing his teeth as nina spoke and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her in for a cuddle. as roommates, they were close and xavier loved spending time with nina. she was like his little sister. he felt he needed to protect her and keep her safe always. “oh yeah? did milo look after you properly, then? didn’t try anything on with you? i’ll fight him if he does.” his mouth brushed over the shell of her ear and he grinned. “i’d win.”

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xbcnnie:

               ‘ that is so upsetting ! i am so sorry that people do that to you , there is nothing wrong with expressing your emotions. telling someone to grow up & move on is so insensitive & makes me so upset for those people that think they need to actually move on from whatever is bothering them as though their emotions are unwanted. ’ she muttered , mostly talking to herself at that point as her eyes wandered around them before moving back to the male in front of her. ‘ you know i’m always happy to listen ! making people smile is probably the best thing a human being can do & i try me best to make at least one person smile a day , so far it has been a good goal & has been achieved ! ’ shrugging a shoulder , bonnie brought her water bottle up to her lips to take a long sip before settling it back between her criss-crossed legs. ‘ i agree with you to a point , i mean , some young ones can be difficult to deal with so the parents are just there to help , but it does tend to get in the way of the job of the lifeguard since we’re not sure if the child is actually hurt or what happened since we can’t see them with the parents blocking. nevertheless , it’s still a great job & i wouldn’t change it for the world ! ’

“nah, i’m just used to it. don’t worry about it, darlin’.” truth be told, xavier knew it was a little toxic, but he had been so used to it that he just swept that matter under the rug and ignored it. which, again, he knew it was dangerous and toxic to do so, but he was so damn used to brushing his feelings off. bonnie was a sweet girl and she always had a very cheery disposition. he knew that if he was ever feeling down about anything, he could go to her and she would be able to make him feel better about everything in mere seconds. just the sight of a smile of her face brought a smile to his. “i know you are, bon. it means a lot to me, you know. i don’t say it very often, but i like talking to you. you’re a really good friend.” xavier smiled and reached out to brush his fingers over the back of bonnie’s hand. the action was done without thinking and he didn’t bother to pull his hand back even after he realised what he was doing. it felt rather natural and to tear it away would feel awkward and forced. to him, at least. “yeah, i guess so. i don’t really interact with the kids much. not that i don’t love kids, ‘cause i do. me and kids go way back.” he laughed a little at himself and shook his head. “but anything to make your job easier, right? but then, they make it harder at the same time and that can be really frustrating. but you manage to do it all with a smile on your face. it’s pretty admirable, you know.”

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xbcnnie:

                ‘ no need to apologize , and that was far from what i would consider whining ! i totally understand the anger that is radiating off you , but you need to remember that keeping that anger all pinted up is only going to hurt you ! so i’m very glad that you’re letting out that anger in some ranting , ’ she stated , her words coming out quickly but in her sing-song voice & her lips radiating it’s usual bright smile. ‘ i really hope that your shifts get better as the days go by. mine wasn’t exactly exciting , just the usual ! although many parents don’t allow their children by the pool by themselves , so it’s like fifty lifeguards at once when you count them watching the young ones. ’

“it’s just back home, i’d have been shouted at about six times during all that to shut up, grow up and move on. it’s nice not to be told that, but i kinda miss it, you know?” he sighed, forcing a small smile onto his features. missing home was always tough for xavier. he hated thinking about the life he left behind. “yeah, no. i know. it’s why i try so hard to either just.. not get pissed about anything or go to the gym and work it out. but i didn’t get a chance and i saw you and well, here we are now.” he laughed a little, finding it hard to resist mirroring bonnie’s cheery composure and smile. “me too, bon. me too. damn. i can see how that would be a little sucky. like, how are you meant to do your job when they’re just hovering? which, i mean, i get. i was like it with all my sisters and i probably still am even though they’re grown now, but like, at the same time, you gotta just.. take a step back and relax. allow the professionals to take control. it’s what you’re there for, after all.”

[toofcded]

cabrcra:

‘ trust me, nothing sucks more than having passengers that don’t understand we have rules here. in your case, the casino has theirs and at the cinema, oh my lord. there was a kid who looked at me while he threw popcorn on the floor. ’ she hated to even think of that day, it bothered her. with a shrug, she chuckled. ‘ it depends on the day, it really does. some are better than others and i was very fortunate that today i had the early shift which meant that not as many people showed up so i didn’t have to deal with too many crazies. ’

"honestly. i actually think they forget that rules exist. you’re on vacation, we haven’t abolished the rules of the world, mate. you still have to act like a human being when you’re going places. oh man, that would have pissed me off so bad. i’m surprised you didn’t throw him out. you know, i can do that, right? if you ever need it done, give me a call and i’ll do it. fuck who cares that the cinema isn’t my ‘jurisdiction’. if you’re an asshole, i’m gonna throw you out.” he could say that all he wanted, but xavier was hardly going to jump at the chance to be told off. but he would still not allow the people he worked with to be treated like trash just because they were working on the ship and not vacationing on it. it didn’t give anybody the right to talk down to them or abuse their power as passengers on the ship. “early shifts sound good. i usually get stuck with the lates, but then i get to go to the club right after, so it’s not always bad news, you know? but i bet the cinema gets so many people acting like nuts during the day. and the kids, too. god, i bet they’re the worst.”

[toofcded]

hottest girls aboard?

“honestly, i ain’t even gonna sit here and list them all. they’re all pretty hot and to leave any out would be heartless of me. there’s not exactly anybody that has caught my eye, but i can certainly appreciate a good looking person when i see one.”

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favorite movie?

“my favourite movie would probably have to be eight legged freaks. i don’t want anybody coming for me because of that. i just think it’s like.. basically a classic.”

[toofcded]

top 5 hottest people on the ship in your opinion

“damn. in no particular order, there’s holly, peyton, nina, finn & delilah.”

@hollynotlightly / @pvytcn / @cabrcra / @finnomfg / @lilahgoode

[toofcded]

hollynotlightly:

holly just gives him a look and snorts as he wraps his arms around her middle. she wrinkles up her nose and pecks the corner of his mouth. “i could handle you. i’d be the best you ever had, mr. guerriero,” she murmurs and waggles her eyebrows at him. when he continues, she arches a brow at him and rolls her eyes, lacing her fingers with his and tugging him down the corridor. “oho, you’d break my little body with all that game you got goin’ on? please…” she makes a noise at the back of her throat and pokes one of his dimples. holly bites into her lip and pulls out her key to unlock her cabin door and pulls him inside, shutting the door behind them. “show me how good you are, xavier. i’ll let you know at the end of it, if you’re god status.” a smirk pulls at plump lips and she folds her arms over her chest, watching him closely. they always teased back and forth and you could tell there was tension, but it usually ended up with nothing at the end of the night. but it seemed like her exhaustion and added caffeine gave her a lot more confidence. holly made her way over to her bed and kicked her shoes off before sitting down on the edge of the bed. “ – this is all if you want. we can also go for a run around the ship. or go to the gym. or just about anything else.” biting into her lip, she leans back against her hands. “i can also find more red bull. that would definitely keep me up until i finally crash tonight. that would be a good day off.” she nods her head and runs her fingers through her hair.

“that is quite bold of you to assume, holly.” xavier believed he had already had the best and he would likely not be getting it back again. nothing else even came close to comparing, really. xavier follows holly to her room, mostly because he has no choice as she’s pulling him along with her. he would have followed her anyway, but it just so happened he had no say in the matter this time. “you must be frustrated if you’re coming onto me this strong, hols. damn, I feel so special for being the one you’re projecting onto.” he grins, leaning back against the door and watches as she sits against the bed. he would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it once or twice, but he didn’t know if it would ruin their friendship if they did. he got on really well with holly and he felt like he could tell her anything. “i’d love to, hols. but i also do worry about what it could potentially do to us. you know? you mean a lot to me as i don’t wanna lose a good friend. even for some mind blowing sex.” he laughs a little and moves to sit beside holly on the bed. “i can definitely help find you some redbull and we can go for a walk or just sit in here. though, sitting in here will definitely make you fall asleep. maybe a walk is better for you.”

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hollynotlightly:

“i’d have your back if they got you in trouble for doing it. you’re allowed to defend yourself from asshole passengers, xavier.” she wrinkles up her nose, “it’s not even that! just staying up that late is enough to make me feel like that. i drank more red bull than i did vodka, which is a big step for me…” she nuzzles closer to him when he kisses her head and she sighs, “if i go to sleep now, i won’t sleep tonight, and it’ll be a vicious cycle that i’ll blame you for. so yes, please consider helping me out. we can do anything to keep me awake.” holly finished off her coffee and she stood up to set the mug where one of the workers could pick it up and take it to the kitchen to be cleaned. her hand is held out to him and she raises her eyebrows. “we can even have sex. sex keeps me awake and i can’t remember the last time i slept with someone. it would be an honour to sleep with you, handsome security guard best friend…” she gives him her most innocent smile and flutters her eyelashes at him before she’s bursting into laughter and stretching her hands above her head. passing passengers said hello and good morning and she was as enthusiastic as she could be, which wasn’t a lot.

“yeah, i know you would. but that would probably only result in you getting in trouble as well. it’s just not worth it in the long run. which is really disappointing, but what can you do, hey?” her outburst makes him laugh a little, though it did startle him. he should have known not to doubt holly, she could get quite heated when she was challenged. which, in his defence, he hadn’t entirely meant to do, he was just questioning her relay of the previous night. “yeah, yeah. i’ve got it. you’re okay. relax yourself, holly. reign it back in, please.” she had a point. he would have been the same if he went to sleep now and then it just makes it so much worse. she wouldn’t be able to sleep at night any longer and she really needed to in order to get real good sleep. he watches as she places the mug on the side and then as she holds her hand out to him. he reaches up to take it, eyebrows raised as he listens to her speak. her laughter causes him to bring his hand up to his chest, mock offence spreading across his features. “i’ll have you know that one time with me and you will be comparing all other men to a god.” he grins and wraps his arms around her middle. “just shut up. you couldn’t even handle me and you know it, hols. i’m far better than anyone else and also, my game is just too damn good for you. probably break your little body with it.” he was such an idiot when it came to teasing people and he just had to take it too far sometimes. he grinned at passengers that acknowledged them, wanting them to know he wasn’t trying to be rude by not actually responding verbally. 

[toofcded]

hollynotlightly:

“no, it doesn’t. and i don’t know if… the ship has like some sort of jail or something in the lower decks. if they do… just take ‘em and throw ‘em in there for a night. see how they like sleeping there instead of their warm beds.” when he reaches forward to pinch her cheek, she makes a move to bite at his fingers. another pout pulls at her lips, “listen, it’s my job. i need to make sure the club runs smoothly. there’s one other manager, too, and we both have to pull our weight. even if that means joining people for… celebrations you shouldn’t have any part of from the start.” she moves to rest her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes, yawning. another sip is taken from her coffee and she rubs her eyes, “thankfully, i have the night off. so i can sit and be my loner self in my cabin, watching movies and eating chocolate. or whatever i decide to order, but chocolate is still up there.” holly yawns again and moves to shake her head, waking herself up a bit more. “when’s your next shift? do something to help wake me up.”

“i don’t know either, actually. i’ll look into it. though, you know, i’ll doubt it’ll stick. i bet i’d just end up getting in trouble for putting people there. that’s how it goes, right? the staff get the shit even when they’re in the right. it’s bullshit, honestly.” he tuts when she tries to bite his fingers and he shakes his head. “yeah, yeah. i’ve heard it all from you before, hols. you have to do it. you don’t have to drink so much that you feel like you’re dying the next morning though, babe. that is one thing that you don’t gotta do and you know it.” xavier presses a light kiss to holly’s head and watches as she tries to wake herself up a little more. “personally? i think you should just get some rest, doll. i don’t think trying to stay awake any longer is gonna help you. you look shattered and i wouldn’t be surprised if you passed out on me right now. but, if you really are so desperate to stay awake, i guess i can consider helping you out. i’m not back in work till tonight.”

[toofcded]

hollynotlightly:

holly took a sip from her coffee, trying to keep herself awake as she listened to xavier. she didn’t get back to her cabin until four that morning and maybe got two hours of sleep. she rested her chin in her hand and she snorts, “that’s because you’re from lincoln, nebraska, baby. i have a feeling security isn’t as big there as it is on cruise ships or… you know at clubs and casinos. security’s pretty tight in new york city, so i get what you mean. people are just rude, and there’s not much we can do about it out here in the middle of the ocean.” holly pouts up at him and shrugs her shoulders. “ – i was at the club until four in the morning, so it was pretty wild. club hours usually can be if the right people are there and everyone seemed to be in a partying mood last night.” long fingers run through her hair and she rolls her shoulders to loosen the tension up.

rubbing his hands over his face, xavier laughs a little when he hears holly speak. she’s not entirely wrong, though it does make him miss home that little bit more. “i know. you’re right. but it doesn’t mean the pricks have to try and physically fight me because i’m looking out for their safety. and the other guests, for fucks sake. they’re fucking annoying. i’m over it. if the job wasn’t so good, i’d have left a long time ago.” rolling his eyes, he reaches forward and pinches her cheek lightly between his thumb and forefinger. “well, i was going to have some sympathy for your rotten state, but after you’ve just told me it’s your own fault? nope. that’s all over with. thanks for saving me the energy of worrying about you.” he was only teasing, of course. he knew how parties at the club could get. he had been there more often than not, so he could hardly blame holly entirely for her state.