huuuuhhhhh

i have too much time on my hands and make incorrect quotes for different fandoms

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Kitty: rachel, do you think you could pick up some speed, so that when i hurl myself out of the car i actually kill myself instead of just being injured?

Rachel: sure

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Tom: it’s sad that others aren’t blessed with my beauty, my talent, my humble attitude

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Andy: is that my toothbrush?

April: would i have a toothbrush that did this?

*music starts playing from the toothbrush and andy starts dancing*

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Sam: i need you to explain it like a normal person

Castiel: jack seems to get it

Jack: *scribbling in a notebook*

Dean: jack is drawing stick figures

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Dean, watching Castiel walk away: there he goes. just wandering off. walks in such a straight line

Dean: uh oh, wait a minute. he’s coming up on a rock. is he gonna go around?

Dean: nope. right over the rock

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Clint: i won an air guitar contest in high school

Tony: bet that got you a lot of air girlfriends

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Percy: we have a problem

Annabeth: no, YOU have a problem. i have an idiot who keeps making them

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Andy, about Champion: i am a father

Ben: it’s a dog, andy

Andy: he’s my blood

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Charles: i thought i told you to sit down

Kitty: i told you that if i sit down i’m gonna feel like i’m in trouble

Charles: you are in trouble!

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Carol: that’s not funny

Jessica: i thought it was funny

Carol: you don’t count. you started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on facebook

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Kurt, about Mariko: logan, you have been in love with this girl from the moment you opened the door and you first laid eyes on her. i have never seen you look at anyone else like that in my entire life

Kurt: except maybe, on a few occasions, me

Logan: i’ve never looked at you the same way i look at mariko

Kurt: there’s just been a few times

Logan: there’s never been a time

Kurt: you’ve look at scott like that maybe once or twice, me several times, piotr never. let’s table it

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Jennifer: ok, wait. so you’ve been a cab driver, a hairdresser, a spokesmodel, and a mover

Jennifer: is your life real?

Patsy: is anything real?

Patsy: that was a question i asked myself when i was philosophy professor

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

about seeing christmas decorations after christmas

Clint: oh, i hate that. put your christmas decorations away, you’re ruining the holiday

Kate: if you saw santa in june—

Clint: i shoot him. i shoot him dead

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Leslie: you’re telling me that i have to come up with a solution all by myself to a problem that i created all by myself?

Ron: yes, pretty much

Leslie: that’s not fair!

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Cece: i think i’m in love with schmidt

Nick: really?

Cece: yeah. thoughts?

Nick: and prayers, you’ll need them

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Ron: do you have any special talents besides asking stupid questions?

Tom: well, i guess i’m easily hurt by insults

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Leo: piper likes to say you can be part of the problem, or part of the solution

Leo: but i happen to believe that you can be both