Tooruhyung

sideblog dedicated to capture my ramblings about my trip

[unpardonablesins]

art + lemony snicket

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[tooruhyung]

reading back my own japan blog posts suddenly some sentences really do stand out. eg: 'yesterday at 3.30 in the morning i had a fun chat with the guy from the front desk, he's been to hungary 3 times, he is really fun and cool' or "well that place also made me fall for it. i start to suspect i fall in love with everything that crosses my path' :D

[purple-noon]

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Eric Clapton - Please Be With Me

[tooruhyung]

i am suffering some serious reality crashes and a massive post travel depression so i need to write an ending note here even if probably no one reads this blog anymore (i mean that would be the normal thing)

This time post-travel depression is extremely hard on me. I feel like the best time of my life has ended. Reality is more cruel than ever, i feel like I finally know what i want but i am clueless how to get there (although that’s literally how i felt about this trip too) and i am also extremely heartbroken.

It’s hard. My last days were spent falling in love faster than i ever did before.... so for the first few weeks at home i only focused on missing him. I still miss him a lot. I can’t really put my experience with that guy anywhere within me and so i keep processing it still to this day. When he talks to me i will be over the moon, but it also means i will be not moving on. When he doesn’t i feel so sad, sometimes a tad bit uncertain (although Ryo was the first guy in my life who really made me feel sure of how we are feeling the same way) and that’s when the real trouble starts actually.

Because i will go on this spiral of thoughts where I question if I really wanna go back only to meet him or to re-live my memories with him or if I would enjoy myself even if we didn’t meet.

Which is so stupid of me because I decided to go back before i met him for the second time. While he was completely ignoring me. So obviously my great memories are not only because of him. My decision to go back and teach English was completely independent from anything he did. I know this rationally. Yet i fret....

Like yes the single most unique and loved memory i made in Japan was my time with him. But besides this there wasn’t a single day where I didn’t make good memories...

So in conclusion i know that the sole thing that keeps me going is the plan to go back and live an adventurous and fun life but being tossed back to reality, slowly losing contact with Ryo and generally not being in Japan makes me feel all sorts of weird and sad.

ps: yes i know it is ridiculous to be falling in love in about 6 days and being heartbroken for a month but oh well, this is me.

[tooruhyung]

Being art hoes with Ryosuke in the Mori Art Museum at Roppongi Hills.

[tooruhyung]

I made the most of return to Tokyo. Sightseeing, hanging with friends, my yearly zoo trip, and strawberry milk ALCOHOL 😂

[tooruhyung]

So the feared time arrived. I am not in Japan anymore. Even if i tried, I could not account for all the things i'll miss until I return, or all the things that formed me as a person during this 3 months. Hopefully it was somewhat transparent from the posts i did here. The last days in Tokyo were the absolute perfect fairytale ending. I have no words. I relaxed, laughed felt at home, still learned new things and felt so loved. The last night of my trip was an experience that i cannot describe in any form, i am sure it will be one of my strongest memories all my life because it was so unique and perfect. I spent my last days in the realms of magic with Ryosuke and I could never wish for better way. All in all the whole trip formed me so much and made me realize what I really want in life and made me a happier and more complete person. I think I might post a few things later as i did some fun counting and i have some pictures from my last days too. Thanks for all who read all my shit. I hope i was entertaining while i had fun. For sure when I return to Japan i will not write like this as it will be more of a return to a place i belong to and collecting pieces of my soul and heart that I have left with Japan for now.

[tooruhyung]

not a good idea: falling in love during your dream trip and spending the last morning with the boy. a neat 14 hour flight which i can cry through awaits.

[tooruhyung]

roppongi art night as a date. life is perfect i guess!

[tooruhyung]

日本大好きだよ

I love Japan so freaking much. I've just landed a mere hour ago and I already feel how freaking in love with this place i am. Everyone ks so nice. Like Korean people are nice too, but oh my god the Japanese are the best. Even trying my best to explain to the strickt immigration officer in Japanese why i stay here so long was fun and in the end he complimented my Japanese. Then the customs guy was outright flirting with me. (He was real smooth tbh i was shook) the bus directions are easy, the driver and the staff absolutely helpful and kind, all smiles. I love everything here seriously.

[wannaoneofficial]

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[tooruhyung]

Leaving Seoul will be the most ambivalent feeling.

I love this city so much. I had such an amazing time here and i feel like i could spend long long days here still exploring new things... (next time!)

But I am headed to Tokyo. I will do all the things I promised myself to still do in Japan, i will be able to speak in Japanese again, and generally just enjoy the Japanese buzz. I will spend my last 3 days with Ryosuke too, and that definitely makes my heart flutter and makes me really excited too.

But i know it mean i only have 6 more days of this trip. And this thought is breaking me inside. I haven't even got home yet but i am already wishing to come back!

[tooruhyung]

Had an extremely fun day with Bhavishya at Insa-dong 💖💖

[tooruhyung]

Ended the day at Namsan Seoul Tower. I am so happy that I could share these adventures with this cute girl! Thank you JYP and GOT7 for bringing us together!

[tooruhyung]

I might or might not have had too much fun with the rental hanbok.

[tooruhyung]

Seoul Subway Scribbles

As i have now grew more comfortable with public transportation in seoul I finally find the time to actually write a bit. Like in Busan i was still yearning for Japan, it was fun there but i felt like Japan is so much more fun. In a way i still think this but Seoul makes me forget this. I am having such a great time. To be 100% honest i'm a little burned out from all the traveling and I probably care less about sightseeing than I would normally do. But Seoul is the place to do so. Like this city is all about modern entertainment. I can spend entire days just shopping, enjoy streetfood, cofe shops and looking at kpop goods. I wish to come back once as a first destination so to enjoy more cultural stuff but right now I'm doing exactly what makes me happy and boy it makes me SO happy! There's not a place in this city that I didn't fell in love with, it's easy to navigate and easy to make friends. Compared to Japan here people don't really care that i am a foreigner. But like why would they stare when there are guys with bright pink hair going around everywhere. (On this note thank you Seoul for making me aware of all my preferences in men's (and women's while we are at it) looks. But thats an other post for an other platform) There's much more western folk around here too. That surprised me tbh. An other thing is that always makes me think is seeing all these guys in their army uniforms. And I don't mean the thought of 'damn son, men in uniform' although I don't deny the existence of such thoughts. But i mean like wouldn't it be so strange to have a boyfriend who is serving in the army? Especially at times like these you know with the other Korea and stuff. Or my brother. Like what a different reality this is... and it's so normal here... Also things are so cheap... but when you buy many things cheap it means you are still spending a hella lot of money (◞‸◟) So this is a small mess of my observations from here. I seriously enjoy myself so much my heart gets so extremely heavy every time I think about the fact that soon i'll have to end my adventures. But well let's think like I pause them and in a year i'll be back! I hope teaching in Japan will allow me to travel within the country but also to come back to Korea and possibly visit Taiwan for a few days to meet a friend and stuff. For sure these plans will keep me alive until i make them real!

[tooruhyung]

I'm living the best life in Seoul. I am happy beyond words, really.