to dance with my father again

"You can be sober and selfless," James noted, though his tone was light.

Neither of them wanted to get further into that tonight. James had put them through the ringer as it was. They'd both shed enough tears to last them a lifetime.

He was sitting up against his pillows by the time Aspen returned, and he released a sigh of relief when the other man pressed the flannel to his forehead. He nodded in response to Aspen's question, lifting a hand to curl his fingers around the other man's wrist.

"Feels nice," he murmured, before guiding Aspen's hand away, lowering it from his forehead. Shifting his weight, he dropped his head into the other man's lap, and gave him a quick nod, silent permission to place the cloth back against his forehead.

As he laid there, he felt his bones grow loose, his eyes fluttering shut as sleep began to claim him. His grip slipped free from Aspen's hand and dropped to his side.

"Thanks, baby," he whispered, words slurring as he dropped out of consciousness. "I love y-..."

As soon as Aspen returned with a glass of water, he huffed out a laugh at the sight of James flopped back on the bed.

“No, no, no, not yet,” he said, setting the glass down on James’ night stand. He grabbed James’ hands and tugged him upright, snorting out another laugh when James went practically boneless, his face colliding with Aspen’s chest.

He gently massaged the crown of his head before pressing a kiss there.

“You can sleep soon, I promise. But drink first, okay?” he said, pressing the glass into James’ hand with a warning tone. “Sip it, don’t gulp it. Waterboy’s orders.”

James groaned when Aspen pulled him back into a seating position, though it soon melted into a soft, contented sigh when the other man kissed him better.

"Are you auditioning for Sexy Nurse?" he quietly mused, a question he would regret for the rest of his life if he remembered it by morning. He'd blame exhaustion, or drugs, or both. He and Aspen weren't exactly the roleplay sort... He didn't think, anyway. It was probably too late to find out.

He tightened his grip on the glass, determined not to drop it. The liquid sloshed in the glass, a couple of drips spilling over onto his shirt not for the first time tonight, but he managed to get most of it into his mouth. He did as he was told, and took slow and deliberate sips. It wasn't until the water met slid down his throat that he realised how thirsty he'd been.

"Have you had your water?" he asked, eyeing Aspen. He wasn't sure if the other man had been drinking, or if he'd taken anything himself. He was much more experienced on both fronts than James was, but he still wanted to make sure he was hydrated and taken care of.

Instead of being annoyed that Aspen had attempted to use him for support, James seemed open to it, even after the fact. He didn’t know how to process James’ complete lack of anger.

There was no eye roll, no heavy sigh, no accusation that Aspen was disrespecting James’ boundaries by burdening the other man with his own ‘headcase problems’. None of the things Kevin had warned him would happen if he stepped into someone else’s space and brought his baggage with him.

He allowed James to kiss him, although that word suggested a passive response. And what Aspen was exhibiting was far from it.

He kissed James back softly, backing up into the hallway as his thumbs swept across the other man’s cheeks.

More than a little dazed when James pulled away, Aspen nodded dumbly. Yeah, sleep would be good right now. He waited until James had opened his door and wrapped an arm around his waist, leading him to the bedroom where he deposited him on the edge of the mattress.

“Stay here, alright? I’m gonna get you some water.”

James giggled sweetly as Aspen set him down. Somehow, the other man had manoeuvred his way into being in control. It didn't make sense to James, how effortless it was for Aspen to switch roles and become the caregiver. James wanted to do that for him. He wanted to take care of him and make him feel as precious as he made James feel.

"Okay, yeah," he nodded. He knew that was the sensible thing to do, but suddenly all he wanted was to kiss him until they were both blue in the face. He wanted to kiss them until the sun came up, to stay awake so that tomorrow was still today. Without tomorrow, he'd still have Aspen today.

He waited patiently, his back flopping down onto the mattress. His eyes fluttered shut, but he swiped at his face, blinking rapidly as he fought to stay awake, fought to keep himself lucid for Aspen's return.

Wasn’t Aspen defining himself the whole problem? Aspen defined himself in ways that only made it apparent how flawed he actually was. He hated to try and paint a picture of Aspen Hatch, never finding the good light, and only seeing the bad parts and failures mirrored back at him.

Introspection really fucking sucked.

But the way James was looking at him… He felt something soft in his core. Like if he managed to somehow sort through his jagged insides, he’d find something that didn’t hurt to touch. He had no idea how to find it, but looking at James right now, hand still cradling the back of his head, it was the first time Aspen believed that it was there.

His shoulders slumped and he let out a noise that was half-sigh, half-sob. Slowly, he leaned forwards, all but ready to slump against James, for once ready to let the other man take his weight. His forehead brushed James’ shoulder.

Then the elevator reached their floor and the doors slid open again. Aspen immediately straightened up, blinking rapidly.

“Shit. Sorry.” He shook his head, as if to snap himself out of his daze.

James was ready and waiting, his hand flitting to Aspen's waist as he eagerly tried to catch the other man. He wanted to hold him, soothe him until he finally understood how loved he was.

But the damned elevator had other ideas.

"Hey, don't apologise," James whispered.

He cupped Aspen's cheek, the other hand still pressed against his waist. It was a risky move, but he didn't care right now. He leaned in to kiss him, all the while pressing forward, guiding Aspen backwards, out of the elevator and onto the landing of his floor. He kissed him with every step, and kissed him even still as Aspen's back hit the front door to James' apartment. His neighbours were nowhere to be seen, not at this hour, and the only thing on his mind was Aspen, Aspen, Aspen.

"You're good. We're good. Things are going to be okay," he whispered soft assurances against the other man's mouth before pulling back. His eyes dipped back and forth between Aspen's, his heart in his throat. "Let's get some sleep, okay?"

Aspen automatically began shaking his head, a frown on his face that meant to say, hey, that’s not true.

Because Aspen was selfish to his core. If he could take the easy way out, then he could. He didn’t know why James was buying into this narrative of Aspen being better than he was.

“Hey, careful,” he said, frowning when James thunked his head off the mirror. He step forward and slid a hand around to the crown of James’ head, as if to cushion the blow.

The exact opposite of what he’d done to himself.

His eyes widened a little at the realisation, but before he could dwell on it, James was talking again.

Aspen’s cheeks felt hot, tears pricking at his eyes again. Immediately, he looked down, opening and closing his mouth a few times.

“I don’t know how you’re missing this,” he said, frustrated at himself. Not James, never James. “That’s not how it works.”

Some people were put on earth to be put first and other people were dragged onto the surface of the planet to ensure the first people got what they needed. Aspen had never been in any doubt of what category he fell into. Whatever he had always became someone else’s. Dustin got hockey, Richie got the coming out party because well, Aspen had slept with women, he wasn’t fully gay. Kevin got everything from their old apartment, except Mariposa. He’d even lost Colorado.

"Ah, there he goes again," James huffed out a laugh, thoguh there was no humour in it.

Aspen was insisting that James didn't get it, but it wasn't him that was missing the obvious. He wondered absently if everyone just thought he was slow and a little bit naive. People wanted to baby James so much, to treat him like he was this perfect little deity who could do no wrong. Like he was precious cargo that needed to be protected at all cost. It wasn't true at all, and it pained him to think that people were undermining themselves in his favour.

"It does work like that. You're supposed to get back what you give, it's that simple."

James wasn't stupid. He knew people could be cruel and unkind. He knew the world wasn't fair and that people got hurt. He'd endured his own fair share of trauma and heartache, but that didn't mean there wasn't light in the world. It didn't mean he didn't have things to be grateful for.

"Things suck," he huffed. His head had never felt clearer. "But there's good too, and the shitty people and things don't define you. You define you, Aspen. You deserve the love you put into others tenfold."

Aspen went to grasp James’ hand but the other man had already walked past him and into the building. He sighed and angrily thunked his head back against the wall. The sudden burst of pain felt like suitable punishment and he was satisfied that he’d done an appropriate act of contrition to allow himself to follow James inside.

“Hey,” he said softly, half-jogging after him.

He flashed a tight smile towards the night manager at her desk. He knew the faces of everyone who worked in James’ apartment building by now, but he couldn’t figure out who they thought he was. It was obvious that he lived here now given his frequent appearances in the lobby, but he hoped they were under the impression that it was as James’ platonic roommate.

Following James to the elevators, he stood by them in silence until the doors slid open. He stepped in after the other man and pressed the button for James’ floor.

As soon as the doors shuttle closed again, he risked a glance at James.

“Sorry,” he said softly. “I just… I don’t want you to ever prioritise me over something that important to you. I’m not…” Worth it, he finished silently.

James wasn't angry at Aspen, but at himself. He was annoyed that he'd allowed himself to fall so head over heels in love with somebody that had been clear from the fof about what they were. He was annoyed that he had wrapped his worth and his sexuality and everything meaningful to him up in the prospect of finding his parents, two people he might never be ruinited with. He was annoyed that he'd been stupid enough to take a dumb pill to impress Aspen, the consequences of which were now ruining his life tenfold.

The second they were safely inside the elevator, he lifted his head to meet Aspen's gaze. The other man looked sad and broken, like he'd been to hell and back. In a sense, he had. James had put him through enough tonight to last them both a lifetime.

"You put everyone else first," James told him plainly.

It was true, even if Aspen didn't see it. He shook his head, sighing as he tipped his head back, letting it thunk against the mirrored wall.

"You act like you're expendable, but you're wrong," he whispered, eyes boring into Aspen's own. "You are important to me. As important as hockey, as Cooper, as my parents. You're worth something. And it's time people started putting you first, too."

I’d quit hockey for you.

Nausea turned Aspen’s stomach over and his back thudded harshly against the wall of the building behind him.

“No,” he said quickly.

He had to remember that James was high. He didn’t know what he was saying right now. It wasn’t a thought that would make sense to the other man in the daylight, and he’d take it back come morning. Aspen didn’t feel any less frantic though.

“No, you love hockey. It’s… you’re so good at it. So many people look up to you. And your parents are going to be so proud of you when we find them. You can’t give any of that up. Definitely not for…”

His words caught in his throat and he silently shook his head.

James’ eyes snapped open as a chill ran through his body. Suddenly, he felt wide awake.

“Hey, woah,” his words were slurred as his mind played catch up. “I’m not– I didn’t mean it like…”

He trailed off, concern etched across his features. Aspen looked horrified, almost disgusted even. Did the thought of James wanting to be with him that much terrify him this badly?

“I’m not giving it up, I just– I meant that I… I just,” he floundered, feeling himself get wound up.

His hands fell to his side in defeat. It didn’t matter. He had thought by showing Aspen that he’d do anything for him too, that he was as important to James as anything in the world, that he might be able to recognise the full scale of his love. But his love didn’t encourage hope, only fear.

“It doesn’t matter,” he sighed, pressing past Aspen, through the doors and into the lobby.

#ft. aspen #mini: aspen

Aspen’s eyes fluttered shut when James kissed him again. He had a feeling his kisses with James were numbered now so he’d take whatever he could get right now, until he wasn’t allowed them anymore.

He gently nuzzled James’ cheek and sighed, his breath ghosting the other man’s skin.

“Me falling in love with someone isn’t the hard part,” he said quietly. “It’s everything that happens when I do.”

He didn’t know if his words would be too revealing, if James would be able to read between the lines. Aspen had only ever fallen for two people before. Kevin was the first and he’d made it impossible for Aspen to feel like he deserved to love the second.

He wasn’t being narcissistic when James’ request to cuddle didn’t come as a surprise. In a few hours, the drugs would wear off and James would start to feel like shit. Cuddles were nice during a comedown.

“Hey,” he said gently, gently chucking his fingers under James’ chin. “I do whatever you want, remember?”

He fought to keep his voice light, knowing his words were toeing the line of something he didn’t want to get into tonight. The truth was Aspen was content to be a physical vessel for all of James’ intimate desires. He didn’t know how to provide the other man with any sort of sustainable emotional fulfilment, but a warm body? He could be that for him.

Me falling in love with someone isn't the hard part.

What did that mean? James wanted to let in a little hope, but he couldn't. Could he? He felt so tired, a bone deep exhaustion settling into his bones. He wasn't sure he could analyse the other man's words right now, not without turning himself inside out over them.

"I think being loved by you would be pretty special," he admitted, eyes tired, words trailing off into a poorly disguised yawn.

He pressed another light kiss to Aspen's mouth, this time more chaste, as his hand landed on his hip, pressing him carefuly towards the door to the building. They needed to get inside, but he knew that they were edging ever closer to never being able to touch again. The thought terrified him.

"I'd do anything for you," he quietly confessed. He was so tired, nothing made sense. He no longer felt that same high he had before, when the drugs had entered his veins and heightened his senses. He was starting to feel chilly, the burning heat melting away into something almost baltic. His brain felt adled and broken, his thoughts turned to mush. "I'd quit hockey for you."

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Aspen reassured him.

As far as he was concerned, James had never done anything wrong in his life. He’d been born into a world that didn’t deserve him, had gone through so much and had somehow come out the other side to unknowingly reshape Aspen’s definition of perfection.

After Kevin, Aspen knew he shouldn’t put people on a pedestal. Everyone had flaws and if he looked closely, maybe he could find one or two in James: his adorable inability to shape his words around a British accent when he tried to impersonate Paddington Bear, his bad moods early in the morning before Aspen coaxed him out of bed with a hot drink, his apparent refusal to see Cooper Detroit as anything less than a brainless meathead. None of those things were ever able to chip away at the high esteem Aspen held him in.

Aspen loved him, and that could only mean he would lose him.

He briefly leaned his own head on top of James’ where it rested on his shoulder.

“I think I like me a little more when I’m around you,” he whispered. It wasn’t enough to make the fog in his head disappear completely, but there were brief moments when James helped convince Aspen he wasn’t all bad, short-lived as those moments were.

They slowly came to approach the steps of James' apartment building, of their apartment building, and James paused in the doorway to listen to Aspen. His smile was bittersweet, his endless yearning for Aspen to see how perfect he was falling short once more. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the other man's lips, the tall building casting a shadow over the two of them, obscuring them in all its height.

"One day, you're gonna realise just how lovely you are," he assured Aspen. "One day, you'll love someone so easily it'll be like breathing."

James wasn't that man, but he hoped it for him all the same. The aching jealousy that came with that dream was irrelevant, and he knew to ignore it. Ultimately, he just wanted Aspen to be happy, and he knew it would come some day, he was certain he'd have his happy ending.

"Will you still... Can we still cuddle tonight? Or would that be- Fuck, I dunno. I'm being selfish."

James' sob was the worst thing that Aspen had ever heard. His mouth fell open and he pulled back, stunned in the same way he would be if someone had wandered up to punch him square in the face. There was a low noise at the back of his own throat but he swallowed it immediately. He wouldn't mix James' pain with his own. It wouldn't dilute it, it would only make things worse.

"C'mere," he said immediately, his hand going to the back of James' head to pull his face down against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. Please. James, I'm sorry," he mumbled. He wasn't sure he was making any sense. If anything, he was probably muddling James further.

He tipped his own head up, staring back at the polluted sky. He hated this city so much. Everything about it, past people like Alice and the man in his arms right now. But even then, all he'd done since arriving was drag them down. If it hadn't been for him, James wouldn't be high and crying right now. Alice wouldn't be worried about her roommate and the secrecy of his new whereabouts he couldn't tell her about.

Leaving Colorado and coming here had been bad enough for him, but it only got worse every time he thought about how it had negatively impacted everyone he loved as well. If it was possible for him, he'd take himself back to Colorado but even then, he wasn't sure that would be far enough. Oftentimes, Aspen thought there was only one place he could go that would be far enough to free him from the heavy, weighted feeling that had plagued him for years, but it scared him to acknowledge there was no coming back from that place.

Hearing James cry and knowing he was the reason for it made him wonder if he should quit being such a damn coward about going there.

"I'll take you home," he said eventually, sliding his hand down James' arm to take his hand in his own. Before he could think about anyone else, he had to think about making sure James was alright.

James knew that he wasn't being fair. Aspen didn't owe him anything, and he certainly shouldn't be forced to feel anything that he didn't feel. It wasn't his fault that James had fallen for him, or that he'd blurred the lines between platonic and romantic. Aspen had always been honest with James, and he'd simply taken advantage of the other man's kindness.

"I'm sorry," he whispered pathetically. He knew they were both hurting, even if for different reasons.

His hand slipped into Aspen's easily, and he allowed his head to fall against his shoulder. It was easy to let Aspen take the lead, to allow him to carry his weight and guide them back home. It wasn't fair, and it was a selfish, thankless act that Aspen took on readily. Whatever false perception he had of himself was destroyed time and time again by the selfless ways that he always tended to James and his needs, the ways that he cared for everyone around him and put them ahead of himself.

If either of them was selfish in this relationship, it was undoubtedly James.

"I want you in my life forever," he whispered. He sniffed, letting the tears flow freely down his cheeks. "I don't ever want you to forget how special you are."

"I know," Aspen agreed miserably. It was his own fault, he knew that, but he'd been searching his whole life for the tools to fix what was broken inside of him, and every time he came up short.

He squeezed his eyes shut, looking pained at James' plea. He ducked his head to the side, smattering kisses along James' cheek, over his freckles, his hand gently caressing the other side of his face. His breathing was ragged, like each exhalation cost him something. His nose bumped clumsily off of James' high, beautiful cheekbone and he cursed himself.

"I can't, baby," he said gently. "I can't. No one should. You're not the kind of person anyone should take for granted."

His kisses trailed up to James' temple, his mouth lingering there before it found its way back to James' own.

"Promise me you'll make sure the next guy after me knows how lucky he is," he huffed, the words mashed against James' lips. "You're perfect. He needs to know that."

It wasn't fair. None of it was fair. James was asking Aspen to be selfish with him, it was what he wanted, but Aspen was too good and too kind to do something like that. He wanted to save James the heartache, but it was far too late for that.

Every word that he uttered felt like a knife in James' gut, each touch and kiss somehow the exact balm that he needed. It was too much and not enough all at once.

He couldn't take it anymore. It felt like his heart was being crushed in the palm of Aspen's hand, ground down into a fine sand until there was nothing left for him to feel but pain. A loud, cracked sob broke free from the back of his throat, catching around the lump that had formed there, mangled and pathetic.

"I don't want there to be a next guy," he murmured miserably. It was pathetic, it was needy, and he was ashamed. Tears fell freely now, and he drew back to look at Aspen. "I wanna go home. Please take me home."

The noise James let out threatened to be Aspen's undoing. His eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to bear the weight of his own feelings, his knees nearly buckling.

Sliding his arms around James' waist, he tugged the other man closer so their chests were pressed flush against each other. One hand slid up to press into the space between James' shoulder blades as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, his tongue parting James' lips in the same way it always did, the same heartbreaking way he'd gotten so used to.

There was a small, wounded noise of his own at James' question.

"I don't wanna stop," he breathed. "I know that's selfish. But, fuck. I don't want you to stop."

James would not cry. If only because it would be the single, most humiliating thing to cry while being kissed by the most beautiful man you'd ever met. But also because he didn't want Aspen to know just how much he was hurting, he didn't want to place more worry on the other man's shoulders.

He moaned sweetly into his mouth, enjoying the way Aspen pulled him in closer and tangled their bodies together. It felt so natural, a pattern they'd fallen into so easily after their first meeting, that James wasn't sure he knew how he'd cope with the loss of that contact. What would he do in the days, weeks, and even months to come without Aspen's arm around his waist, his tongue licking into James' open mouth? The thought was unbearable.

"This isn't fair," James heard himself utter, against all his better judgement. If it came to it, he'd blame the high, but he meant what he said. "Be selfish with me. Please."

James should care. His career would be on the line if anyone spotted them, and that was to say nothing of James' own attachment to his privacy. Aspen knew that James didn't want to come out until he found his parents, and he respected that.

He'd snuck into his dad's office the other week to see if he could get some contact information from anyone in the ALIH. Hockey wasn't as big in Korea as it was in North America, but he figured that if he could get into contact with a commissioner there, he might be a little more successful in helping to track down the Hans. He hadn't told James this, just in case it happened to be a dead end. He didn't want to get the other man's hopes up, only to dash them.

Well... no more than he already had.

He stared at James, feeling his own eyes grow wet again. Not trusting himself to speak, he gave him a small nod and closed the distance between them.

He held James' face between his hands and slowly brought their mouths together, kissing him gently at first, somehow hoping that James would be able to taste Aspen's real feelings on his tongue.

James felt like the sun had exploded in the centre of his chest, bathing him in a warm glow the moment he felt Aspen's lips on his own. It was almost impossible for him to believe that this was the sort of kiss people shared casually with their friends. Is this what it felt like when Aspen kissed Dylan or Olly, or would it feel this way if James caved to all of Ace's flirting (as flustered as he always was)?

He couldn't comprehend that it was like this for everyone all of the time. The only person who'd ever made him want to kiss them was Aspen, so how was he expected to feel this way with just anybody?

His hand slid up along Aspen's waist, bunching the fabric of his shirt into his fist as his fingers tickled the exposed skin there. He kissed him back nervously, unsure whether he was allowed to deepen it, before letting out a breathy, petulant whimper. He wanted more. He wanted all of him, all day and every day, for the rest of his life.

"Is this okay? Do you want me to stop?" He didn't want to stop. He didn't ever want to stop.

He waited as patiently as he could for James to ask his question, heart in his throat as the other man hesitated. Was it really that bad?

"Oh," Aspen breathed.

One last time.

Of course. It would be selfish for Aspen to think they could continue what they had been doing before. He'd always wanted to help James come to terms with his sexuality, to explore sex in general instead of repressing his innermost desires. It wasn't like it was a hardship for Aspen, who got to be with someone as beautiful as James.

He liked to think he had been helping him. Friends had sex all the time. It was quite literally why the term 'friends with benefits' had been invented and even though Aspen knew that, perhaps, he'd been stretching the definition of platonic for what he and James had, it had still been an arrangement that worked for them. Now, he knew it would be different. He wasn't surprised that James was calling it quits on this little arrangement. Aspen didn't blame him one bit. It might have still been physically fulfilling for James, but Aspen couldn't give him what he needed emotionally. He understood why it couldn't go any further now.

It still felt like a loss that cut clean through his heart.

Slowly, he lowered James back onto the ground and turned to face him.

"Are you sure? It's..." He looked around them at the empty streets. "I know it's quiet but someone still might see..."

James was so nervous that he thought he might burst into tears on the spot. The thought of Aspen wanting them to detach and remove feelings from what was happening terrified James to no end. Did they know how to be friends away from the sex and the dates and James' all encompassing infautation with Aspen? He had no idea. What if Aspen grew bored of him? What if he realised that James wasn't fun anymore when he wasn't on his knees and pleasing him?

"I don't care who sees," James told him.

Distantly, a voice in the back of his mind told him he would care if someone saw, but right now it didn't matter. He hushed that voice and took a careful step towards him. His hand slid to Aspen's waist as his fingers closed around the fabric of his shirt, grip tightening as though he never wanted to let go.

"I just... I want this. I want you," he murmured sadly.

James needed to sleep. He needed to be tucked up in bed, his head against his unreasonably comfortable pillows, a glass of water on his nightstand. Aspen knew this and he still selfishly slowed down his pace a little. He was delaying the inevitable, he knew that, but he wanted to keep the weight of James on his back for a little while longer.

He lifted his head at James’ question. He had no idea what it would be but if it followed the thread of their previous conversation, the heavy feeling in his stomach made him think that he might not like what James had to say.

But when had he been able to deny James anything?

“Yeah. Course,” he said quietly. He squeezed James’ thigh, as if to suggest he was being encouraging instead of scared out of his wits.

James let his eyes flutter shut as he felt Aspen's hand against his thigh, the pressure comforting. He allowed a silence to wash over them as he braced himself, certain the other man wouldn't like what he was about to say. But hadn't Aspen always told James he needed to speak up for himself? Go after what he wanted?

"Can I... Can we..." he paused, glancing around them. It was relatively quiet along this stretch of the street, there were no pubs and clubs, no late night delhi's or corner stores. It was about as serene as the city could get, and one of the many reasons why James had chosen this area to live in. "Well, I mean, it's quiet around here. There's nobody around."

He was dancing around his question, and he knew he needed to bite the bullet.

"Can we... Will you kiss me? Just one last time?" His voice cracked on the latter question, the finality of it making his heartrate increase, his throat constrict.

But it was true, wasn't it? That's what Aspen had wanted, he'd been very clear on it. They were to be friends. Aspen wanted them to go back to something that required less expectation, less intimacy. And if this was going to end, James wanted to have him in public at least once in his life.

"I never said you weren't," Aspen said playfully. "Just not as much as you think."

The side of his face scrunched up, eye winking shut, as James pressed a kiss to his cheek. He supposed that they could still play at that being a friendship thing as well. Cooper had gotten a cheek kiss from James earlier and Aspen had needed to remember himself and his responsibility of getting James home instead of quite literally dropping dead from jealousy.

Speaking of dropping...

He momentarily let go of James' thighs, allowing the man to drop an inch or two down his back before grabbing him again and playfully jostling him. He hiked him further up and gently rubbed circles against James' legs with his thumbs as an apology for his little prank.

"You know I wouldn't drop you, Frecks. I've got you."