[Aloha at the head of a business meeting]: Okay, story ideas. Now, I dunno where you worked before, but Aloha does things a litte differently.
[pulls out a handgun, cocks it and slams in the table]
Aloha: Now pitch.
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@totallywrongsplatoonquotes
[Aloha at the head of a business meeting]: Okay, story ideas. Now, I dunno where you worked before, but Aloha does things a litte differently.
[pulls out a handgun, cocks it and slams in the table]
Aloha: Now pitch.
Agent 4: I'm just inspecting for illegal weapons.
Rider: That sounds pretty boring. What do you say you and me go around the corner and make your job alot more exciting... I can tell by your lack of interest that I was joking.
Rider: I swear, Goggles, if I were you, I'd just punch me right in the face.
Goggles punches Rider right in the nose
Rider: OW! Goggles!
Goggles smiles and blinks innocently: ... What?
Rider: You just punched me in the face!
Goggles: You said to...
Goggles: Well, Skull asked me to make his eyebrows look nice, so I tried to wax them, but, when I took the wax strips off there was, umm... A problem.
Skull: ... My eyebrows are gone!
Goggles takes out two wax strips: No, they're not! I told you - they're right here!!
Army: Okay, your wants have been finished. Now- [Army drops his bathrobe]
Aloha: Oh, that's what all the fuss is about? Okay, yeah, no problem.
Goggles: [Looking at cell phone] Oh, it's Aloha!
Rider: Oh, did he get me the stuff?
Goggles: Yeah. He says he got you the... clown costume, a power drill and... tweve gallons of blood.
Rider: Wow. Where'd he find twelve gallons of fake blood?
Goggles: You wanted fake blood...? ... I'll call Aloha...
Mask: Before I get trapped in the elevator, I need get food poisoning first. It really makes everyone I'm stuck with feel the panic.
Aloha: You know what's crazy about this time of year? Everything is pumpkin spic-
Diver: We all follow your Twitter, Aloha.
Aviator: We're now in the heart of the ol' jerkin' district. This is where all the jerkin' was... They used to have to chisel the walls clean...
Aviator: Oh, Skull, you're gonna love downtown. Every block is full of grime! There's peep shows, wank palaces and stroke domes as far as the eye can see!
Army bawling while holding a tomato: It's the color of uncooked salmon...! The most delicious color of all!!!
Goggles: To a chased kiss with Rider! [Cheers red solo cup with Aloha at a party, drinks] Mmm... That's not too bad...!
[Twelve hours later]
Drunk Goggles: I sucked seven dicks! And I didn't even get to Rider!!
[Skull tries to make the biggest home-made waterslide in his backyard, but does it unprofessionally. A college kid starts going down as it's still being made]
College kid: Suck my dick, losers! [Speeds down so quickly that he rockets into the air, flying majestically like an eagle, then lands on the roof of a car, smashing his entire body and the car itself, the horn blaring over twelve blocks away]
Skull: ... Did that sound like he landed in someone elses pool...?
Army: I'm going to bed, Aloha.
Aloha: [breaks pill in front of Army's face] Not anymore, you're not, that'll keep you wired for a couple hours.
Army: What is that?!
Aloha: For you, it's a study aid. I use it to go dancing.
Skull: No, Aloha... We can't kill her. Not even for those shoes. [Gets up from sniper position and walks away]
Aloha: Well, can we kill her for the pot? Cause it's like a hundred dollar pot! Skull!
[Job Application]
Boss: I'm sorry Skull, but I just don't think you're qualified. None of this is on your permanent record.
Skull: Permanent record? That's a real thing?
Boss: Well if it wasn't, how would I know that... In fifth grade you tried to get out of a math test by putting a slice of pizza in your underwear and saying it was your period.
Skull: That's on there?! Alright, first of all, that never happened. Second of all, it was a calzone.
Skull running to church with the S4: I hope I havn't missed the part where the three Chinese guys give purfume to the star baby. I-it's like the diaries of a mad man.