It Be What It Be

I'm weird, I have a lot of feelings and I take a lot of pictures. Canadian 🍁

[totestomykotes]

Thank you to everyone who got me to 5000 likes!

Awe 🥺

[totestomykotes]

[totestomykotes]

[totestomykotes]

[totestomykotes]

I figured it out, I guess.

Which one should I use for my pfp?

[totestomykotes]

Tumblr won't let me add my newest pretty pictures 😡

[totestomykotes]

[totestomykotes]

I looked kinda like a real hot mess when I washed all that shit off.

I dont hate it

[totestomykotes]

[totestomykotes]

Finally!

After many, many years of not owning a compter or a laptop I have finally acquired one! This is great news for you guys! 

Or it means you’ll get more real life updates, even though those aren’t your faves.

I’ll probably be a lot more active on here as well as treating it more like an actual blog,

P.S. That man I said I’d kiss forever, we’re together now 💖 

[totestomykotes]

Updatez my puppy chewed the cord and I eternally feel ashamed about that.

[totestomykotes]

I'm like that one friend you talk to once a year, but we don't actually talk.

😅

[totestomykotes]

Hey

[totestomykotes]

I made dis

[totestomykotes]

It me

[totestomykotes]

[totestomykotes]

I am really struggling with my mental health today.

[totestomykotes]

I’ve been on my own since 23.

It took me 23 years to finally get away from my Nmom. And, not even willfully. She decided she was leaving, so I let her and when she came back she chased me down in a car that I gave her because I asked for a break from her. (Her leaving was done very poorly and had a huge impact on me because I was living with her at the time.) At that time my Dad wasn't putting any effort into our relationship and I only heard from him when I called him on holidays and his birthday, or when he needed something. Recently I told him not to contact me at all if he's only going to do it when he needs something. No response.

So here I am, now at 25, all by myself. And holy fuck, is it difficult.

Doing it all on your own without parental support (I've really lacked it all my life, but now it's no contact) is so fucking hard, it hurts.

I am not one to be jealous or get upset because of the things others have that I don't, but lately, everyone talking about their parents and families has been hitting me extra hard. I've been setting boundaries and doing all the right things but I am just so anxious, sad, and tired.