That random kid

A nobody that wants to be a somebody

[tothatrandomkid]

Well...

I was getting ready to sleep when I decided to text my friend first. I never talked to her in a serious way and she pictures me as her weird friend. I decided to tell her something coming from my serious side and the first question she asked me was, "Are you suicidal?" Well, I think she made the biggest mistake in asking that since, what if I was? Her question might trigger me more since she seems to judge me that moment. And second, do you really think a person who are suicidal would actually answer you honestly? Of course not. And if I was, I wouldn't tell it to anyone since everyone is a judgemental freaks who judge anyone who are different from them. I was just disappointed since I value her opinions in every way and think highly of her but this was just a very heart breaking for me.

[tothatrandomkid]

Playlist for the dead (spoiler alert!!)

This book is about a guy who committed suicide and left a playlist for his friend. Then the said friend, thinking that all his questions will be answered, listened to the playlist. Not knowing that the less he listen to the playlist and the more he listen to his surroundings, the more he will understand what really happen.

Well to rate this book I’ll give a 3/5. 

Well, before I read playlist for the dead, I was reading all the bright places. 

Even though, both had character who committed suicide, (spoiler!!!) All the bright places caught my emotions more.

When I was reading Playlist for the dead, I get teary eyed during the last pages of the book, the part where Sam figured out what really did happened that day. (most of it) and that’s it.

I felt pain for each character..

I feel sorry for Jess and what they could have been

I feel bad for Ryan because of his insecurity.

I feel sad for Sam because he felt alone.

But from all the characters in the book, I really don’t like Astrid. She’s such a pain.

But yeah, the books okay. 

And if I was given money to buy this book or an ice cream?

I’ll definitely go for a chocolate flavored one.

[vegaaskies]

“Every man needs a fort, Ultraviolet. A place to let his imagination run wild. A ‘No Trespassing/No Girls Allowed’ type of space.” “If no girls are allowed, why are you letting me see it?” “Because you’re not just any girl.”

All the Bright Places (via vegaaskies)

[vegaaskies]

“I feel this strange need to move closer to him, as if he might get away from me.”

Violet, All the Bright Places (via vegaaskies)

[vegaaskies]

“It will be all right. I will be all right. It won’t fall apart. It will be all right. It will be okay. I’m okay. Okay. Okay.”

All the Bright Places (via vegaaskies)

[tothatrandomkid]

All the bright places

The thing about me is, I dream about death. I am always fascinated on the idea of death. Everyday, I think on ways to die. But I don’t actually try and kill myself. I just think of ways how to die.

I like to jump.

No, I LOVE to jump.

I like the flying feeling when I jump. I feel that I’m invincible and I can do anything. I like standing in high places and just look down and feel superior to everyone.

The reason why I loved this book is because I felt connected to Finch. I felt all his pain.

The feeling of being lost.

The feeling of being alone.

The feeling of being no one.

I never felt being alive. I just exist without an exact reason why.

I am not alive. I am just existing.

I can be gone now and no one will notice.

That’s how I used to think everyday.

And sometimes, I still do.

People might think that I completely lost it, maybe they’re right. Maybe this is just how my mind works.

It’s not that I chose to be like this. I tried so hard to change but sometimes when there is nowhere to go, all I do is go to a high place and just look down.

No, I don’t plan to kill myself.

I don’t want to become a disappointment to my parents, again. So I’m trying to be alive not just existing

And I hope, everyone will do the same.