What will make women safe? Transform is an organisation that works with some of the most vulnerable and disadvantaged young people across both Nottingham City and the County, we are accustomed to hearing stories of abuse and unfortunately in some instances serious sexual harassment and or violence from our young clients. Most young people are referred by partner agencies when their circumstances and lived experiences are flagged up on safeguarding radar as they struggle to comprehend their own emotional reactions to trauma and survival. We offer a broad range of intensive programmes to support these young people to build their emotional literacy, education, and resilience. Whilst saddened by the desolate tragedy that has dominated our newsfeed over the last few weeks, Sarah Everard being abducted and murdered on her way home, our professional exposure to similar stories has meant collectively the news was not received with total shock or disbelief. We are by no means desensitised to the loss of an innocent women’s life, but rather we noticed that there was something else stirring in our dialogue and emotions, something that was gaining momentum not just among females but amongst whole communities, across cities and families, schools and on almost every social media platform across the country. Transform has a majority of female employees, with just one single active male trainer (which in itself is an interesting observation of perhaps the bigger issue), and as we unpicked and supported each other through processing our emotional reactions and responses we organically began to share experiences and concerns. We are a relatively small organisation, but, out of a meeting of ten staff members there wasn’t a single woman who hadn’t had some form of sexual harassment, stalking, physical violation, or assault, and for two women who felt safe enough to share, they talked of their experiences of sexual exploitation and rape.. Now, as we are well aware rape and murder are the catastrophic extremes of predatory criminal sexualised behaviour, but when did this become the benchmark? The narrative that seems to be imposed on us from a young age is that some things are just the normal rites of passage for young people, particularly women. Being cat called, having our bottoms pinched in a bar, being told to not go out at certain times or wear clothes that are too revealing is something we all expect. We teach our young women self-defence, hold your keys in hand, ring, or text when you arrive at your destination safely. We impart these valuable snippets of survival training on our children as young as key stage one – in the form of stranger danger and cartoon analogies in a desperate bid to keep our loved ones safe. If we instil just enough fear and caution in them, they just might retain this advice and become compliant, and, with all these precautionary measures in place we perhaps never have to utter the actual words rape or assault and have those uncomfortable conversations. We have provided the tools to dodge the monsters lurking in the shadows – so if the unthinkable happens it is surely bad luck, wrong place, wrong time? However, this doesn’t seem to be working and perhaps never truly has. We recognise now more than ever that each lived experience, no matter how insignificant it feels in comparison is still a contributing factor of a larger-scale problem, some women are only just becoming aware that their experiences were not acceptable and could actually be deemed as a crime. There is no marker in time when we as a society became complicit in accepting that not being raped and murdered was passable as a peaceful existence. However, there is a clear opportunity now for us as professionals, active citizens, and positive role models to capture the moment and figure out a better understanding of what has gone so horrifically wrong in our society to the point where we only sit up and take notice when someone actually dies. The intersectionality of young peoples’ circumstances cannot be overlooked when it comes to risk assessing the likelihood of them being the victims of harassment and abuse, but this does not provide a consistent explanation to the opportunistic one-time assaults that continually plague our communities. The contradiction in historic policies designed to offer solutions seems to not only have eroded the trust of the female population but runs the risk of fuelling the endemic complacency surrounding inappropriate behaviour and encourages the demonisation of all males. Therefore, the more recent suggestion of curfews for men serves only to diminish the complexities that besiege the distorted balance of personal accountability. They are neither sustainable or practical and like all of the previously mentioned approaches are as helpful as offering someone a band aid when they’ve just been stabbed. Maybe the time has come to recognise that we need a radical change of tack. The issue is so complex that nothing simple that we could think about would do anything at all to make a dent in the problem. We need a cultural paradigm shift to get past a problem that is so completely entrenched in our society that everyone that could be affected by it actually is affected by it. The very big, and as yet unanswered question is, who will lead this cultural revolution and will a statue be erected in their honour that will continue to have more protection in law than women who are the real victims and survivors of this ongoing horror show
Naomi Robinson Specialist Youth Worker Transform Training Ltd