SPACE GHOST

[transparentmusicfox]

I am uncomfortable with my body. I don't like how I look but I'm trying to learn to love myself as well as be healthier. Bacically improve what I can, and accept what I can't. I was also shopping for my prom dress with my best freind who is a model and sister who is just really skinny. I was looking for a puffy, flowy dress but just for funzies I tried on a skin tight dress that's not really my style. I felt uncomfortable but showed them anyways. They were both in awe. My sister said I looked so beautiful and like a spy, and my friend said it really suited my bodytype. (Mind you I have hip dips, a muffin top, etc bacically a little bit of everything.) I started crying. They are honest people and that made me feel okay. Knowing that thay didn't see the flaws that I did. I bought it, didn't worry about how I looked, felt confident and felt strong and felt beautiful at prom. So be honest to your freinds, trust them as well, and love each other.

[transparentmusicfox]

I drink water and not milk with my spicy foods to spread around the spicy oils because I crave more capsaicin and my family has no tolerance for pain. I say as I cry, bit am happy.

[transparentmusicfox]

Hs in a nutshell

Gr9: omg im wearing shorts i'd better measure them and fix my makeup too im so nervous about everything, cares way too much, gets B, cries.

Gr10: downloads music and swears too much.

Gr11: i actually learnt stuff this year idk buddy it was weird and diificult.

Gr12: *takes off my bra in class, sleeps outside on spare, leaves to buy coffee, argues w teach abt feminism, listens to musoc constantly, gives no shits, gets A+, cries.

[transparentmusicfox]

So my sister keeps finding things that say 'wild' on it bc we were eating and she had 4 pieces of toast and i asked if i could have one and it i should put some raspberry jam instead of strawberry jam on it and she was like 'sure' and did it for me which i didn't expect and after she handed me it i was like 'wild' in the most monotone voice i own and she just died laughing so now she sends me pics of things that say wild im so happy

[transparentmusicfox]

If u dont believe

U can do it join a marathon only out of spite i went from not running at all to getting 10th place in a 10k out of like 250 ppl bc i have a horrible crippling fear of losing so u can do it i believe in u go get em

[transparentmusicfox]

“Today is just not me day.” I say for the 207th day in a row, the wii theme song is stuck in my head again, and i smile and laugh with my friends, it’ll get better.

[transparentmusicfox]

Me: *Sighs* "I'm so tired... I don't know why!'

Friend: "Have you tried getting more than five hours of sleep a night?"

Me: "Have you tried shutting your heck?"

Friend: *Knocks me out.*

[transparentmusicfox]

So the problem is i started learning korean, but then i got a bunch of kpop ads online, and then i got into kpop. I'm still learning korean but everyone thinks its bc i was into kpop but its the other way around. And i , just. can't. It's so.. ., ughh?? Ya know?.

[transparentmusicfox]

Love is so beautiful and I see it around me but I just want to be able to love again. One day I will.

Also f u, depression.

[transparentmusicfox]

So everytime someone new comes in my room they say "is that girl mad because mr sugar daddy bought that guy some louis vuitton stuff and only got her a teddy bear?" And that sentence has happened in some variation by seperate people on seperate occasions who don't know each other five times already and i die every.single.time.

[transparentmusicfox]

In case y'all like learnin' about bones n stuff. Here.

[transparentmusicfox]

In case y'all like learnin' about bones n stuff. Here.

[transparentmusicfox]

Doc: "ur infertile"

Me: "okay"

Inner me : fuuuuuck yes hallelujah

[transparentmusicfox]

I want to live near the sea.

But not the type of sea where there's a warm sunnybeach outside my door, or where i can just go surfing and look at the sunset everyday.

I want to live near the type of sea where it smells like salt and wind instead of people and food, where the sharp rocks slash against waves constantly, where the water is cold and free, where fog will rise every morning and the waves sound like rain in the night. I want to wearsweatersand shorts and curl in a blanket on a little spot lookinh over water, i want to lay down and feel rain on my face and my roes swishing in the water where i just feel alive. The type of sea the I can enjoy alone and everything is quiet and calm and nice.

Does that make sense?

[transparentmusicfox]

All i want to do is have sex eat pizza try drugs and have a long nap but no i need to study so i have a future gosh darn it

[transparentmusicfox]

Doc: how are you doing?

Me: good!?...!

Doc: okay but like there's so much wrong with you like you're blood is lowkey causing you pain.

Me: haha then I guess I'll just die faster. No biggie

Doc: anD THATS ANOTHER THING WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT

[transparentmusicfox]

Yo i just realized life is just killing time until time kills you