DANI.EXE
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@traumariz
DANI.EXE
kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning… like yes i’m always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc
crazy how i find myself thinking i've got a handle on it all finally and then i see the ways that other people tangle their lives together so easily and live so easily together with their friends and i feel like that girl at the top of the stairs painting by norman rockwell
i'll always be here
summer someplace dear
"my child is fine" your child was born into this world
{Words by Anaïs Nin, from The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4 (1944-1947) / Cynthia Cruz from diagnosis,The glimmering room}
week 12 - sun dreams!
"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there
The Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1944–1947
Anaïs Nin, from The Voice
Gillian Flynn, Sharp Objects
all my problems stem from 1) i don't remember things 2) i don't want to do things 3) i don't like being around people
MIRROR/SENTENCE LUIS CAMNITZER // 1966-68 [vacuum-formed polystyrene mounted on– synthetic board | 18 4/5 x 24 3/5 x 1/2”]
January 5, 1912 The diaries of Franz Kafka, 1910-1913 [ID: January 5. For two days I have noticed, whenever I choose to, an inner coolness and indifference. Yesterday evening, during my walk, every little street sound, every eye turned toward me, every picture in a showcase, was more important to me than myself. END ID]
i'll die before you get to understand me, and you'll yell and scream at me before you put yourself in my shoes, and i'll die hoping for you to change the way you are to me to the world but at the end i will be to blame for the trees dont bend the way you want to and neither do i no matter what i say it will never be enough, for you to understand me and my needs which swallow me whole and i will shout and i will rage because things never go my way between us, it is never sufficient what i do and say and i could never tell you things the way they are, for truth makes your anger surface and you let it take ahold of you before you hear me out and understand, understand me
i hold my anger inside of a well-kept shelter in between my ribs and refuse to let go why should i let go? are you not the one to blame for what happened to me? unable to protect me, what's the purpose of this life? could you, please, find me and be so kind to let me know; in my anger i dive and let it swallow all known and unknown, kindness never does you any favors so what if i am mad and loud and breaking things and? what of it? it will never change, i want to leave.
IG: ratiaranch