Igniting the Calm: Is It Meds, Therapy, Trauma…
There was a fire in my house, and I do not know the woman that put it out.
It was me. Yet, the calm, action-focused individual that put out the fire within seconds of discovery is strange.
My family had decided to have a simple Sunday dinner of frozen pizza with zucchini on the side. I grabbed something from the kitchen as my partner said, “I don’t know what’s up with this oven.” I looked back and thought I saw a flash of a flame followed by black smoke coming out. I walked up to the oven, opened the door, and saw nothing. I swore I saw something, though.
I crouched down and opened the broiler drawer to find the flames. I quickly closed the drawer in hopes of limiting the amount of oxygen hitting the fire. As I stood up, I saw a fire blanket I had been influenced to purchase over the summer and said, “Well, that’s why we have these” as I grabbed it. Opening the fire blanket coincided with me realizing I was about to freak out when I saw the flames again. “You’re going to want to freak out, but you can’t, just act. Don’t hesitate,” I told myself.
I kept going. I opened the broiler drawer and put the fire blanket over the fire. I peeked around to make sure I had covered the whole thing. I had. I slowly lifted a corner of the blanket to check that it had worked. It did. The fire was gone.
I was stunned as we opened windows, turned on fans, and cleaned up the minimal mess. Fifteen minutes after the flames were snuffed we only had a smell reminding us of the delay to dinner. I had acted swiftly and accurately. I couldn’t believe how eventful yet uneventful the last 20 minutes had been. How was I swirling in calm instead of downward spiraling?
Rewind to a year earlier when our kitchen sink kept backing up with stinky, dark water. I spent hours searching for solutions and seeking another’s opinion before taking action. Our house would have been gone and onto destroying others if I had taken the same approach. Again, how? How was I both women?
Are the meds I’m on really a magical solution? I knew therapy worked, but does it work this well? Or was my calm, focused action a trauma response? Yes. Yes to everything.
We can shame the anxious brain with ease, but struggle to recognize when it is a superpower. Because of my hypervigilance, I already had a plan months before the small fire in our over happened. I had purchased multiple tools from the same manufacture in a packaged deal and placed them strategically throughout the house. In places most likely to experience an accidental fire, like the kitchen, the fire blankets were in sight to avoid forgetting about them in times of stress. My anxious brain anticipated and helped me execute the plan I didn’t realize I had.
Group my anxiety in superpower mode with a new prescription in the past year and discussion around effective self-talk in therapy, and you have a story of success and safety.
I am the stranger. I am also the hero.
