my heart is like a haunted house

there's things in there that scratch about they make their music in the night and in the day they give me such a fright...

[travelervesper]

who?: open to all || capped at 3 replies where?: near the astorian border when?: in the liberation timeline

There was no material gain to Vesper answering the call. With encroaching threats from all sides, the magisters were one of the few forces reminding people that a descent into chaos would not be tolerated even amidst the turmoil. So long as the queen stood, so did her law. Yet he answered the call. No payment, no quid pro quo, just resolved acceptance of the Tower's request delivered without protestation or negotiation, much to the Sitters'—and Vesper's truth be told—surprise.   He was not one for the front lines, but he remained fighting in Southreach despite how the darkspawn's numbers seemed unending. Watching, waiting, laying traps and taking them on one at a time; against darkspawn, this was about all Vesper was capable of, but his support of more powerful witches hadn't wavered since he arrived in the region. "Another trap has sprung. Three darkspawn this time, though you should move fast. I can feel my threads ripping…" he said to the other from his perch, his spool of weaves between his hands twisting as he willed his threads to constrict more around the darkspawn he ensnared. "This isn't burning you out, is it? I can handle them myself if so. I can see another horde making a beeline towards us from the east. You're better equipped to handle them than I am." Vesper was a pragmatist, not a hero or even a man with honorable intentions. Still, as dead-eyed and weary as he may have looked, when he peered eastward, his demeanor remained steely. Even if the other fled, he'd find some way to at least slow the darkspawn advance. He was there and he was fighting. "If you're at your limit, you may as well regroup with the Tower's main forces now so I can start preparing."

[travelervesper]

[marketofstars]

Luna had joined the Legion because she felt the end was near, her world as she knew it in the peaceful grove within the Ironwood Forest burned the night of the Aetheron invasion, her family was gone and she remained. A howl stuck in her throat that felt a lot like grief and when she undertook the joining, it was with the blood of the broodmother pouring down her throat, a kill that ensured their survival and escape from the caves and dens of the Darkspawn.

Death sounds like peace but she doesn't want that fate for the innocents who were bound to lose their countryside in the Darkspawn that were still out there and the battle was far from over, she didn't know or understand the political world within Eterna, she just knew that the enemy was still out there and it felt like a hand on her throat. She believed in the power of the Legion, that those who wore the black armor were powerful and steadfast and yet she knew they were drenched in trauma and she didn't want to see their end come before it was fated. It might have been because she was stolen from the Darkspawn, locked in their cages and transported over many miles and had to fight to see the light of day but she never felt their grip release. "There are reports coming from Southreach about coordinated attacks, the Darkspawn are smarter than they've been before. A hive mind controlled them and I know resources are low and people are exhausted but if Eterna is not ready for them when they arrive, the city will be devasted. I will fight at the frontlines for the people within these gates." Not because she loved the people but because she's been waiting to fall on a sword since the skies opened up with purple rain and burnt down her home. She had to accept his help for whatever it was, she had no idea what she expected to gain, she just wanted this helpless feeling to dissipate but that feeling was what it meant to be legion.

[travelervesper]

There wasn't a single ounce of initiative etched into Vesper, at least when it came to matters that had little to do with him. His role was to safeguard the queen's peace from internal threats. The fight against the Dark wasn't his to wage. While his tour of Caer Glas was purely for selfish reasons, Vesper walked away with a clearer understanding and appreciation of their role. As stated, they had an advocate within the Tower who believed their best chances of mitigating the threats of the darkspawn was to redouble support of the Legion.

But he wasn't a hero. He didn't even view himself as decent. Law and order were the charges of his job, but Vesper was smarter than that. "Look, magisters are driven by self-interest. Being an objective eye over criminals requires us to put our inquests ahead of all else, even decency at times. No magister, myself included, would willingly take up extra work just because it's lying around, save for the naïve greenhorns who'd only get themselves killed by overextending." He laid out the facts as clearly as he could. Things like honor and justice would seem like a magister's driving force on paper, but the job had a way of wearing down one's ideals over time. Credit for taking down criminals, closing cases, and getting paid to do so was the primary motivation that filled these halls. The legionnaire wouldn't find help here, but Vesper, for some reason, had yet to throw her out. "Your conviction is noted, but there is too much to do already. Eterna won't be prepared for the worst. Accept that and reposition yourself accordingly. Find proof, some actionable evidence that suggests the danger is already here and I can spin it enough for the magisters to take action. But that's the best I can do. My plate is full as is. Terrible they may be, darkspawn aren't the only things threatening Eterna's stability."

[celayawitcher]

"Celaya's hair was free, it was nothing like the tightly coiled braid that was typically rolled tightly up on her head, intricate patterns all rolled tightly into some design. It was free today, as wild and untamed as this palpable anger and lack of understanding which radiated off of her. It clashed with the anguish and grief, that sick feeling in her gut that she truly did understand, even if her mind was willing her not to. There were no second chances in life - and Celaya wished to throw her head back and laugh at that, the accidental cruelty in it, and how it plunged like a knife to her heart. If there were no second chances, what was she? A ticking timebomb that Akanis had wasted his time on? It'd only been a few weeks under his mentorship, and he had died, Celaya was starting to figure she truly was the problem.

"You know my name, it'd be wise of you to use it," half-growled out, and likely proving the point Vesper was trying to make through the witcher title, but she was rather fed up with the scrutiny. Even if she could not remember each detail of her former life, she could still feel the blood which coated her hands, tangible through each Lysaran that practically spat at her for what she did not ever ask to become. Who would ask for this? She learned through others that, back in Iskaldrik, she was to simply be a militant hunter; she was favored no titles or land, she simply was what they had apparently trained her to be. Celaya felt this within, though she was a practical blank slate with all she had inflicted, her body always stood at rigid attention, the scars which dotted her body forbade her from forgiving herself, and the hatred given from others only spurred her further that there was no redemption, there were no second chances.

She downed the drink as quickly as Vesper had presented it to her, it burned as it went down, but she remained some glowering attack dog glaring at Vesper for all he could not change with his magic. Pushing the empty glass half towards him as though to signify another, she shakes her head, shoulders lowering slightly, "If you're right then there is really no hope for me. I can't let you be right." Her eyes flickered back to Vesper, and though they weren't kinder than before, they were softer, less on-the-attack, "Do you know why they could bring back the others and not him? His life is worth far more than mine, don't you think?"

[travelervesper]

Vesper scoffed, for no amount of alcohol would soften his edge. "Just as you know who I am. It'd be wise of you to remember that. I'm not a hero nor am I your answer. I did my job the best that I could, and I'll continue to do it until it no longer suits me. That's it. Curb your expectations, even magic can't do miracles." That's the only way to stay sane in his line of work. Vesper stayed in his lane, minded his duties, and took what compensation he thought he deserved, even if that meant breaking the very laws he upheld. The queendom owed him his luxuries for his many years of dedicated service, though he owed nothing to anyone. Not Akanis, not Celaya, and certainly not the people harmed from their team's failure. That's why his drinking had increased. All the rationalization in the world couldn't absolve Vesper of his guilt. Instead it was easier to go numb so that he could go on.

He pours another glass for each of them. Better company existed, but he drank his breakfast alone that day. This felt slightly less depressing. "Hope is a fool's game. Hope is disappointment in advance, the byproduct of entitlement and fear. I do not 'hope' and if you were smarter, neither would you," he stated matter of factly. Vesper's entire life centered around judging people for their actions and leveraging their vulnerabilities. What they hoped to be or do never mattered, just as what he hoped he could do to improve Lysara never resulted in any change. Celaya's first mistake was allowing anyone to give her hope, her second was clinging to it after the one who gave it to her departed. He really had no compassion for her plight in that regard. Vesper only started gaining in this life when he abandoned hope entirely. "Like I said, denial can be an effective tool for some. Childish though it may be, denial is preferable to delusion. Think what you want, just to project your limitations onto me. I am right."

The man who wanted to help people died years ago. The witch Celaya saw before her was someone who put himself first. Always. Grabbing Sakkara was an action that came from a long forgotten instinct to save others, and if he had embraced it, then maybe he could've grabbed Ingrid too. Impossible to say now how that would've turned out. "Two souls in one body sounds unstable on the best days. I imagine the trauma Ingrid suffered in the final explosion made it difficult for Akanis to return. That's what happens when people try to play hero," he says, chuckling darkly before taking another sip. He didn't anticipate the depths of Celaya's naivety, finding it ironic that a witcher of all people would be so ignorant of the way of the world. "People are born to grow, fuck, and shit until they die. We all get crushed beneath the Wheel eventually. Life has no inherent value. Worth comes from usefulness and liability. However, if we were to accept your immature notions of worth, then wouldn't your wallowing over things you cannot change be no different than spitting on his grave?" Not that Vesper had any stake in Celaya's well-being. How she mourned was her business, no one was paying him to care. "A life "worth more" than yours was lost. Shouldn't you feel beholden to use your time to increase your value to honor him or something?"

[legionariejon]

Jon knew that safety was hard won and when you felt the safest that you were the most vulnerable. The world would never be a safe place for him, for the children of demons despite if they accept or reject their nature. It was why it was so important for others to feel safe in his presence because Jon knew what it was like to be at the mercy of fate. Was it wrong that Jon liked the attention vesper gave him? That feeling of the others hands on his body was intoxicating and it was only just a kiss on the palm of his hand, it was a small gesture that he adored. Jon made it sound easy because it was easy for him, he never hide away from who he was even the parts that had made his life difficult, he wore his vulnerabilities like armour. Looking into vespers eye Jon found what he found attractive most honesty, a rawness that was clear to see. He could see the invitation in vespers body language, as the other stretched to reach him, Jon craned his neck to meet him half way. In that moment it felt like they had all the time in the world as he didn’t rush as his lips moved against the others. It took seconds for Jon to find the position uncomfortable enough that he left the need to brake the kiss so he could pick this man up and bring him closer to his lips.

[travelervesper]

Standing in the shadows for so long made the sun hurt. Getting to touch Jon and have the man reaffirm his right to enjoy a simple pleasure was like a foreign heat, one that Vesper wanted to run towards and away from in equal measure. He felt undeserving because he knew he was. If he opened himself up fully and exposed every secret, would Jon still appreciate the honesty, or would he choose to shield his warmth from the long shadows Vesper's sins cast? His eyes closed to hide how admiration, conflict, uncertainty, and fear swirled in them, giving himself over entirely to the kiss. It took his breath away, leading to a sharp gasp as the world beneath his feet disappeared in one swift motion. Vesper opened his eyes to see Jon and only Jon, desire alight in them as he realized how effortlessly the legionnaire had brought him to eye level. When he wrapped his legs around Jon's waist and pressed their foreheads together, the furrow of his brow betrayed how a part of him still wanted to take the easy route and flee. What if Jon rejected the truth he found in Vesper's eyes? But a stronger part of him, the part of him that felt safe despite the vulnerability of letting a man look into his soul, kissed Jon again and again, deepening each time their lips touched. Everything else faded away until Vesper could only feel and taste Jon. Tender touches grew to be more desperate as Vesper clung to the man's head, holding him close as the taste of Jon's lips made Vesper kiss him harder.

[legionariejon]

How was Jon meant to react when he found out that cutting vegetables was the most peaceful thing Vesper can recall. It was a sad thought and made Jon more thankful he has such a job that the mind could get lost in. It was mundane work but the repetition of it all made it perfect. For a moment Jon thought he had overstepped that his touch was unwelcome, that was until the other relaxed in his arms. Jon loved the feeling of Vesper in his arms, he may be small in statue but not in presence. “You don’t need to think about it, just be that man you hide from the world because he’s safe here, you are safe with me.” Jon didn’t want what vesper showed the rest of the world, he wanted to see what he protected, what he held dear. “No one said you have to leave. Stay here with me until morning comes.” And just in case he needed extra convincing to stay Jon left a small prominent kiss on his neck.

[travelervesper]

Safe? For one reason or another, Vesper was never safe. His life was like a house of cards; one bit of pressure in the wrong spot and it'd all come tumbling down. Still, he'd like to believe it. When was the last time he was held or felt the sincere touch of another? Jon was strong, his body firm, yet his touch was tender, and his words were gently sincere. Vesper didn't believe in 'safe' but maybe, if he let go, he could believe in Jon. "I think I'd like that," he says, his tone adopting an uncharacteristic vulnerability. Vesper rolls his head to the side, releasing a breath of tension as Jon's lips press on his neck. He sighed, reaching up to grasp the nape of his neck, a silent indication that Jon should not pull away. Vesper's other hand glides along Jon's forearm and the back of the legionnaire's hand until he's interlocking their fingers. He pulls it up to his face so he can press an equally affectionate kiss to Jon's palm. "You make it all sound so easy. I don't even know what to say except … yes. I'll stay and be honest with you every second that I'm here." Vesper turns slightly in the hold, just enough so that he can place a hesitant palm on Jon's bare chest and look up at him. Whatever guarded gaze he had earlier in the day is gone. His eyes have nothing to hide, shimmering with genuine emotion for the first time in a long time. Vesper waited a few more beats before stretching up to see if it felt as good to be kissed on the mouth as it did his neck.

[travelervesper]

[marketofstars]

Luna carried the guilt and the weight of her failures upon her shoulders, the poachers that she didn't see to justice, the refugees that she couldn't gain sanctuary for at Marinus Bay, those that she had seen starve and fall way to the blight at Nornwatch Keep and the father that she lost many moons ago.

Still she couldn't sit idly by as the Darkspawn moved in further heading towards Eterna and while she had her personal opinions about the gilded city with it's poor dying in the streets, those fighting in the colosseum to only watch blood spill for entertainment. She still didn't wish to see the city fall and to see the innocent suffer, she found it wasn't as easy to punish the guilty either. Waiting until the assistant who occupied the desk took a potty break, she snuck in. The corners of her lips pulling down into a yikes expression, did she cause all that? Feeling uncomfortable, she once again felt the ache for home press against her throat, trees were really so much more manageable than humanity and it's messy emotions. "I wouldn't fire them.. I think they just had to empty their bladder." Her voice was small, not wanting to lose any ground she had but feeling bad for the other, rent was hard out here. "I fear Eterna isn't safe, the Darkspawn move in coordinated attacks and Aventia has already been lost. I wouldn't take the city's safety for granted, dark forces move out there in tandem." Refugee wasn't promised and while there might be offices out there who were better suited for her plea, it felt as if it had all fallen on deaf ears.

[travelervesper]

There was always a backlog, always a new concern, always something preventing Vesper from taking a breather. Taking his frustrations out on an employee was just a perk of his position, though, of course, they were probably sloppy because they knew what Vesper did regarding his schedule. When would he even have time to vet a replacement? Despite this, he had every intention of voicing this warning when his assistant returned from their little "break". Wouldn't it be nice to be able to take one whenever?

Another sigh leaving his lips, Vesper leans back in his chair and folds his hands over his midsection, taking note of her black armor. "Are there any threats you know of specifically? If not, there are far too many immediate concerns for the magisterium to handle. Resources are spread thin as it is. Clearly." He's prepared to dismiss her without further discussion, even raising his hand to wave her out of his office, but something about her expression gave him pause. Another huff, he instead gestures toward the chair on the opposite side of his desk. "Unfortunately, being a darkspawn isn't against the law. If you knew of someone specific—a darkfriend causing trouble or a deserter of your order manipulating the blight somehow—then maybe I'd be able to intervene once I gathered enough evidence. But in general, unforeseen threats of this nature feel more like your expertise than mine. Bolstering your ranks with criminals is about all I'm permitted to do at this time. However, I understand the danger the Dark poses. The Speaker has communicated that The Crown supports the Legion." Vesper chose his words carefully. He never made promises and even his assurances were flimsy, but when he pinched the bridge of his nose he began searching for anything more he could offer. "Look, when it comes to darkspawn, the best I can do is what you're doing now: advocate. However, the Tower of Olympia is in disarray and the witches of Eterna have other priorities."

[celayawitcher]

Obviously, Celaya had strongarmed past the assistant, standing before Vesper without a clue what she was truly doing here. He was a witch, someone of the Tower, that much she understood and under that pretense she now grouped the Tower together as one entity, as if each witch was not entirely different from the next. "Bring him back," the others had come back; some with scars that would never fade, others simply with the traumatic memories of what had been. "If you," you being the witches, poor Vesper, "-could bring me and the others back, bring him back." It was very unfortunate that this witch had been on such perilous journey because now whenever Celaya had some sense of consternation regarding witches, she'd likely make it his problem. So much fear, something she'd sworn not to let overtake her again, but it melded and fused with the rage within her currently, scowling as Vesper remained so dutiful and dedicated to his work, that which looked like a lot of obnoxious paperwork. There were no loyalties between them, only the tether of a massive failure that cost the lives of many, but surely that was enough for Celaya to seek him out as opposed to any other within the Tower walls.

Ingrid remained, another for Celaya to strive to be like, but Celaya had let Akanis down and in turn she had let Ingrid down. If he could come back, if he could simply be again, so much would lift off of her shoulders, so much would be set right again. "I don't know anything about you or your work, I only know you're a witch, so bring him back." She refrained from snatching the quill from his hand or shoving some paperwork off his desk - that was growth, baby.

[travelervesper]

He might've been affronted by her outrage if Vesper hadn't already taken it from every direction. How could things go so wrong? Why didn't you do more? Isn't this your job? Every crisis needed a scapegoat and the investigative team made easy targets for the Sitters. Vesper rejected the blame outright and he'd continue to do so. They did their best, and even though their best wasn't good enough, no magister, Olympian, or member of the queen's court could've done a better job. The blame game was a pointless exercise, though, since regardless, this was the worst possible outcome. It was so bad that Vesper actually attended Akanis' funeral and felt something. So yeah, Celaya barging in to demand he do more neither angered nor shocked him. He was numb to her outrage, not out of his typical nihilism but out of exhaustion. He felt the same way, he was just tired of feeling anything.

"You need a drink," was his initial response, ignoring all of Celaya's unreasonable demands. Really, he needed one, but even now day drinking alone would be too damn sad. With a laborious sigh, Vesper rises from his desk to walk to the small table behind him. He pours two glasses of the herbal spirit he keeps and puts one on the corner of his desk for Celaya, drinking his in only a couple of gulps. It wasn't his first of the day. "We don't get to reverse time. Witches are fallible, breakable. We aren't gods. You should know that well, witcher." He didn't need to know her specific story to know what the title meant. He reported on the atrocities her kind inflicted upon his in Iskaldrik for years, but as pointed as his comment was, Vesper was above blaming her. In his mind, the witches of the Tower were just as culpable for any lives lost to the mines as she was. "There is no going back. Accept that, or don't if it's easier. Just don't put that shit on me. If I—" Actually, the cup he poured for Celaya was starting to look really appealing now. Fortunately, out of a desire to not have her start destroying his office, Vesper brought his empty glass to his lips in an attempt to let whatever drops remain trickle into his mouth. "—I have enough of my own guilt. I don't need yours too. This whole thing was beyond my area of expertise, so I can't help you bring anyone back. There are no second chances in life, not really. So drink."

[legionariejon]

“So you came all this way in your shades of grey for what? Like you said you could have watched me from a distance, but you didn’t. So why come here at all?” Jon had a running theory why Vesper had come here without anyone knowing but it was purely speculative and had no real evidence, Jon was just hoping it was right.

“There’s no such thing as a good man Vesper. Sometime doing the right thing is doing the wrong thing. And I’m not alway capable of doing what needs to be done.” Jon did have the right to hate on this world to see it from the same viewpoint as Vesper and there were some days that he did but Jon actively saw what was worth fighting for. If he didn’t he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to get out of bed. “I have to care, if I switch that part of myself off I’ll be proving to everyone that I am as bad as my devilish nature claims me to be. I’m honest because it easy to lie. I don’t want my life to be easy.” Jon knew that anything worth having won’t be easy, he was ready to fight his nature, fight the darkness and remain kind doing so. He couldn’t help but notice how the other touch their arm from comfort, to say the man was so guarded he was really laying everything out on the table. He had to feel so vulnerable being so honest. Slowly Jon’s hand extended out to the other wrist. Taking it within his hand his thumb brushed over the patch of skin Vesper was holding onto. It didn’t take Jon long to move behind the other and gently pulled their back against his chest, his lips below the others ear “I had someone who showed me what kindness was. And while the world has been cruel to you let me be kind” Jon was just simple my holding the other in his arms. “ be who you need to be out there but right now just be yourself with me.”

[travelervesper]

Vesper opened his mouth, but no words came out. He was, for the first time in a long time, at a loss for words. Or rather, admitting the truth felt akin to exposing a weakness and Vesper believed himself to be a man who refused to be leveraged. He didn't know what to say, but he kept his eyes on Jon because deep down, beneath all the waffling and lip service, his reasons were basic: Vesper wanted to know the legionnaire.   "In the end you're right. Good and bad are subjective. But you are a better man than me. Trust me," he responded, the irony of the contradiction not lost on him. He didn't believe in anything besides the money in his pocket. Justice and righteousness were cons and the world had a way of crushing those who bought into that nonsense. Vesper learned this over the years, but that didn't change that his younger self would look upon his current self with disdain. That's why he knew his interest in Jon may have been dangerous for the legionnaire. Vesper couldn't discern if his interest came from a good or a bad place. It certainly was easier to lie, he was so good at it he'd nearly dissociated from his own truth. He tensed when Jon touched his wrist and remained just as tense when the larger man folded himself around Vesper's smaller frame, but he didn't fight it even though his instinct was to run. If he wanted to, he could vanish and return home instantly. "Cutting vegetables at your side was probably the most peaceful thing I've done in a while," he confessed, his body relaxing as if finally releasing some invisible weight. "I thought kindness was a weakness, but I'd never think of you as weak. If I got to choose, I'd rather be kind to you as well." There was an uncharacteristic waver to Vesper's voice, a sign that Jon's voice in his ear was stirring in a way. The man felt firm and secure, and Vesper felt undeserving. But was it so out of line to press back into him? To welcome the embrace and maybe, just maybe, abandon The Game while he was here? "I came back to feel close to you again. Now that I'm here, I don't want to leave this room."

[legionariejon]

As vesper left it took Jon a second to shake off the distraction that the man was, to try and shake away the thoughts that plagued his mind. He need to focus he has a keep to feed even if it wasn’t full to the brim of legionnaires no one should get between them and their food. It didn’t cross him mind that the other could still be watching him if he had Jon might not have hummed such a joyful tune while cleaning the dish’s into the night. He didn’t know what exactly the witch was capable of or exactly how infatuated he was. Jon had come to terms in their conversation that he wouldn’t meet the high standards of the magistrate, that life he had, that wasn’t Jon, how could anyone who lived like that have any interest beyond curiosity for Jon?

After the long he didn’t think twice about going for a bath before he’d turn in for the night. It wasn’t a bath that one could submerge them self in it was more a bucket of water, rag and bar of soap. Half naked in his room Jon was cleaning his arms of sweat when Vesper materialised infront of him. “Well your warning didn’t come with I might show up in your quarters unannounced.” Was he even here or was he still technically back in the city? How real was what stood before him? “Are you going to tell me your intentions aren’t pure? Because I don’t think you are here with malicious intent but it does make me wonder exactly why you choose this place to come back. I was cleaning for a while you could have come back then.” Vesper wasn’t even meeting his eyes, this wasn’t the same man out on the keep walls playing with a spider, he was vulnerable right now. But Jon wasn’t going to use that against the other. He knew vespers type, he knew it from the briefest interaction “don’t be sorry, speak to me, we can work through these thoughts of yours together. Why do I confuse or what did you say… perplex you?”

[travelervesper]

Jon's comments caused Vesper to let out a sad, sardonic chuckle. He imagined the lengths he deemed appropriate would be most bewildering, but then again Vesper was trained to see more than others could handle. No boundary, distance, or deception would keep him from the truth he sought. That's what made him dangerous, especially to a man like Jon. "Pure, malicious, right, wrong, I exist in shades of gray. You're right, I could've come earlier. In fact, I didn’t have to leave at all. I've grown used to shielding my movements. Right now, you're the only person on the continent who knows I'm in Caer Glas Keep. I'm not doing anything nefarious, but I lied nonetheless."

It's with a careful gaze that Vesper watches Jon. Sincerity makes him uncomfortable because everyone lies. Everyone is rotten. That was the basis of his philosophy, so he could move as he deemed necessary without remorse. Until today, Vesper hadn't subscribed to the traditional belief of what a good person was in a very long time. "I judge people for a living Jon. I'm good at it because I've seen the world's cruelty firsthand. There's no hope for this world, and while you have more of a right to reject this life than I do, you don't. Because you're a good man," he says matter of factly, no hint of a question to his tone. This wasn't an interrogation and, as Jon just stated, the only way Vesper would get to the truth was to try and have an honest conversation. He wasn't sure he remembered how. His eyes drifted, looking at the blademaster's body Jon sported, his past conflicts displayed clearly from the faint scars visible. "I thought if I watched you or I replayed our talks, something would jump out. Some lie, however small, would let your mask slip. But you don't wear one. You … care. You have the capacity to care. That's the part that perplexes me." Vesper tasted foulness in his mouth as if simply letting his honest thoughts fly out turned his tongue sour. Touching the place on his arm where Jon made the briefest contact earlier helped the taste settle, but he still felt like he was wading through unfamiliar territory. Is this what people did? Talk without any agenda or scheme? "After the darkspawn you face, the country you left behind, and all the other horrors people inflict upon themselves even in Lysara, how do you see anything except the worst? Where does your optimism come from?" Though, Vesper leaves off the one question that would've required courage to ask Jon: how was he supposed to find hope in this cruel world?

[legionariejon]

“I know the world can be cruel, but If you only look for the darkness with in it that’s all you’ll see. I choose to trust everyone until I have been given a reason not to. You could end up missing some grate things with a sour outlook.” You end up not enjoying life and all it had to offer. Just because one wounded you that way doesn’t mean everyone else will do the same. Just because his country rejected him didn’t mean he had to reject them. “I don’t think I need to be, you’re no darkspawn so I’ll take my chances to see if you’ll bite me.” Though it wasn’t likely that they meet very often anyway with their paths being what they were. Jon didn’t think himself as much of a mystery, he actually thought himself pretty transparent maybe he had missed something. He let himself fall into vespers gaze, he didn’t fail to notice the hypnotising colour of his eye and things of Vespers that was beautiful to look upon. Jon would have loved to jump into them right then and there but the other took a step away. “You should get going then.” But Jon wasn’t going to simply let him go, oh no. His fingers brushed against the others arm as he took the apron from Vesper. “Good luck.” Jon hated to that he had to go but he wasn’t disappointed in watching him leave.

[travelervesper]

Vesper took his meeting with Riandur, got driven back to Eterna by way of steam vehicle, and all the while he never let go of Jon's words. Or Jon, for that matter, considering before he awkwardly left the Keep's kitchen, he tasked a spider to stay out of view and observe. Jon was earnest, and perhaps that's why Vesper was so thrown off by meeting him. He was exactly as he presented himself as, which was the part Vesper couldn't wrap his head around. A blademaster, legionnaire, and cambion from Iskaldrik no less had even more of a claim to the nihilism Vesper harbored, yet his optimism shined through. Unable to stop peering through his spider's eyes, he watched Jon cook, feed the Legion, perform his duties, and retire to his quarters all without doing anything to suggest he'd been playing some game. Vesper knew Jon was genuine, but some part of him must've hoped it was an act. That would make more sense to him, and perhaps then he'd be able to move on, but as night fell and Vesper continued to watch his threads from his bed, he was still thinking about the warmth of Jon's brief touch while he spied.

And then he wasn't spying, he was traveling, altering space itself so he could appear in a wisp of silken threads in a corner in Jon's room, hands raised above his head, of course. Jon may not have seen him as a threat, but Vesper knew intruding on a blademaster was something to be done with caution. "Don't be too surprised, I tried to warn you. Nothing good can come from me taking an interest," he muttered, a bit embarrassed at his impulse decision to teleport back to Caer Glas. "I tried to ignore my gut about you, but you really do try to see the best in people don't you? Even me? Even now that I'm here without an invitation?" He couldn't believe he came back. This was so unethical, and Jon would have every right to report his behavior to the Speaker. Vesper couldn't even look him in the eye, glancing at Jon out of the corners of his. "I assume you think of yourself as simple, but to me? Well … perplexing is one word I'd describe you with clearly, since I came back after dark just to work out my thoughts. I'm sorry, I know I should be keeping my distance, but I…" The magister who always had his next five sentences planned ahead was at a loss for words. What was he doing?

[riandur]

“Spoken like a true politician,” Riandur grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Vesper wasn’t expected to the keep, had shown up, and clearly loved to Yap. Still, at least the man knew his limits and wouldn’t claim to survive the joining. Riandur had known a man like Vesper, when he’d been locked in chains and sentenced to such a fate, and the Legionnaire held out his hand in offering for a final time, “When they become a Legionnaire, their crimes are struck from the record. If the Queen truly wants to help fight against the blight, your personal…issues aren’t going to get in the way, are they?” He waited after a moment, squeezing the other’s hand in a firm grip, “Not all judgement of character can be seen from such a high place of…stature.” He let the word roll off his tongue, yet still, he pulled his hand back, “When you have any prisoners of substance, let me know. Then I’ll haul my ass down to Eterna just for you.”

[travelervesper]

Riandur was larger, stronger, and lived in a world of darkness Vesper couldn't even begin to imagine despite the shadows of society he constantly had to peer into himself. Even so, when he took Riandur's hand to shake it he did so with no sense of superiority. Things didn't go exactly to plan, but in the end they seemed to reach an agreement Vesper could benefit from. The Legion got new recruits, Vesper could tie up some loose ends, and all he had to do was carefully manage his web of lies. Morally, he was liquid as far as he was concerned. "Certainly not. We'll probably never see things the same, but I can work with that. We share a goal in bolstering your ranks, so I only want to help. Keeping Lysara safeguarded is my primary concern." Of course, now he had created more work for himself, but prisoners were easily manipulated. He already had a list in mind, and if he moved swiftly enough, they could be braving the Joining before any of the other magisters wised up to this arrangement Vesper made. He'd touch base with the Speaker as soon as he could. "Judging you in person was certainly the right move, so you might be right about that. I'll send word when an appropriate selection is ready, and of course if there's anything else I can do to help aid the Legion I'd be happy to discuss with the Speaker personally on your behalf," he says with a nod as he withdraws his hand. Vesper knew many would disapprove of his shadiness, but if the Legion benefited and a few of his problems got taken care of, was there really any harm to such a deal?

END

[legionariejon]

Was he trying to convince Jon that he was satisfied or himself? By they way he described his life made it seem empty. Jon didn’t believe that material things could fill the whole that friends or loved ones did. It sounded lonely. What did a sizable household mean if you were the only one in it? Jon didn’t trust the words Vesper said but he had no right to call him out on this, after all he was just some legionary cook.

“I am yes.” And he loved his country with his whole heart, he wouldn’t shy away from claiming he’s a Iskaran. “Not many are like you.” Very few indeed, many would hear what he was and have assumptions immediately and not wait to see what kind of man he was. “Let them be jumpy, I don’t exactly blame them. If my blade fails me and I fall to someone who has a distaste to my existence then that’s the way it was meant to unfold.” Jon was used to letting fate determine his life and so far he’d not had a bad ride, if he were to die now he’d be happy. “You’ve not given me a reason to distrust you. Should I not trust you Vesper? Are you the type of man I should be wary of?” Jon saw that the other wasn’t making eye contact with him and well that was plain rude, maybe he did judge on assumptions.

[travelervesper]

"Honestly? The same could be said about you," Vesper responded, watching Jon's hands move while prepping the vegetable. He'd met blademaster's and legionnaires before, but Jon was a singular individual. He didn't have the hands of a weak man, and his desire to cook meals for his fellow legionnaires didn't come from a place of cowardice. He was in this kitchen of his own volition without shame. "Like I said, I judge based on actions. Nothing more. Everyone has a story worth hearing." And everyone had skeletons worth hiding.

Vesper was no exception, but Jon? He wasn't sure. A person he couldn't easily categorize was a puzzle, and when Vesper set his mind to solving puzzles, he tended to get consumed by the pursuit. "You shouldn't trust anyone. The world is a cruel place. The people who walk in it tend to be just as bad," he says, laying the basis of his current philosophy out in the open. If all there was to expect in life was the worst, then Vesper could justify any means to making things a little brighter for himself and himself alone. He didn't have the heart to care about others anymore, this cruel world made sure of that. "I'm not a danger to you, but you should be wary of me. You're a mystery, and when I get drawn into a mystery…" Vesper couldn't help himself. Who was this man? Who was he really? He'd been forthcoming and yet Vesper still had questions. When he allowed himself to look Jon in the face, his gaze brimmed with the very curiosity he aimed to suppress. This was not why he was here, he couldn't let himself wonder about this large-chested man who seemed to want nothing more than to help the Legion—-dammit. Vesper was already feeding into the compulsion to figure Jon out. "I should make my exit. I am here on assignment," Vesper said, awkwardly taking a step back while hastily removing the apron. Regardless of who Jon truly was, it was clear to Vesper that at the very least, the legionnaire was a better man than him. Distance was best.

[fuckyeahcarlosandlidia]

[fideoinsoup]

Martino Rivas for Dust Magazine

[travelervesper]

who?: open to all || capped at 3 replies where?: eterna, courthouse looking magister hq in the city when?: in da general timeline nondescript

Vesper hired a personal assistant specifically to prevent this very scenario. Between his household staff, documentation for his various cases, and the constant stream of parole requests from the punished he'd undoubtedly reject, he relied heavily on his assistant to keep his busy life in order. Someone walking into his office without an appointment was a sign that perhaps, it was time to find a new one.

"Leave it to a witch who couldn't pass their trials to fail at such a basic task. Really, how difficult is it to keep people out when I'm busy?" he mutters as he tosses his quill down. "I hope you didn't just let your replacement walk in! You may as well start cleaning out your desk because they already seem ten times more competent than you!" he shouts out beyond the doorway despite suspecting his assistant has abandoned their desk. Vesper pinched the bridge of his nose as he thought about all the paperwork he'd have to waste time interviewing candidates yet again. Honestly, how could he be expected to keep up with the Speaker's directives when it was nearly impossible to hire appropriate staff? The younger generation had no work ethic at all. "I'm quite busy, and now I have to fire someone. What do you want?" he asks, finally addressing the one who waltzed in without scheduling a meeting. Eyes still clenched shut as he shook his head, Vesper only looked at them directly once he reigned in his irritation enough. "Mind you, I'm incredibly displeased. You should know better than to assume random drop-ins are conducive to my work. Do try to keep this brief. The clock on my agreeableness started ticking when you stepped foot here."