We've all received a message like this at some point. Sometimes it stings worse than others, but it is never pleasant. It's particularly discouraging when you worked diligently at something and still came up short. It's easy to become bitter or blame something/someone else, but this just makes a lousy situation worse. So here are a few tips I’ve found helpful on how to deal with rejection.
When you're rejected, for whatever reason, it can feel very personal. Even if there is a legitimate reason it can be difficult to push your feelings aside. Your initial reaction may be to get defensive or lash out, but acting on this can lead down a slippery slope. You may end up burning bridges or losing friends if you just snap back.
I've found the best course of action is to remove yourself from the situation and take your time to process everything. If you're in person, politely excuse yourself and take a walk. If on the phone, let the person finish and then politely end the conversation, being sure to schedule a time to call them back if necessary. Once you are in a clear state of mind it's time to come up with a plan.
Turn Your Emotion into Motivation
There may be a valid reason(s) for being turned down, and it can be as simple as you're not the right fit for what the person is looking for. Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do about their decision, but you can control what you do next. In my experience, the best thing to do is turn your frustration into motivation. Don't sulk and wallow in self-pity, that's how they win. You have to brush it off, gather yourself and go after the next one even harder. Learn what went awry and figure out how to avoid similar mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes, it's human nature. The key is to accept this as fact and remind yourself when it happens that it's not the end.
“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”-Thomas A. Edison
Try to find out exactly what it was that didn't work. This will help identify areas that may need improvement or a change altogether. If you're unable to ask the person directly, review your work/behavior etc. and see if there's anything that stands out in retrospect. Once you know what's wrong, you can begin to work on fixing the problem. That's how you progress and become better for it.
These tips are not guaranteed to prevent rejection from ever happening again. Much like using shampoo, it may be necessary to rinse and repeat multiple times. You might make all the changes required and still come up short. That's ok! The important part is to never give up.
“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”-Thomas A. Edison
So the next time you are rejected take a step back, come up with a plan, learn from your mistakes and give it hell all over again. Your success is right around the corner.
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