* THIRTEEN

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*shows up here, forty years later, with starbucks* wild

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‘and where as sharon carter been?’

‘you tell me kevin’

SORRY THIS IS SHARON CARTER AND EMILY VANCAMP LOVING HOURS ONLY AND I AM LOSING IT !!!! MY BADASS SPY IS FINALLY COMING BACK TO ME I COULD CRY

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( hey la hey la ) WHAT UP this is a starter call, so ahh hit that like button and if there is a particular verse ya’ll want just let me know. 

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i.d. grady, owen; 

He notes the sigh as his hands tuck into the pockets of his pants. “If…I had to explain the feeling to someone, it’s like you’re swimming in a body of water, and you want to duck your head under for a while and block out all the noise around you.” The feeling of grief, he means. “But you also want to scream when you go under but doing so would let all the air you’re holding in out and let the water in.” 

After a few seconds, he laughs. At himself, at the metaphor, at the situation. “You can see why I wasn’t an English major in college. That’s not exactly a poetic comparison.” 

“Sometimes you gotta cave and eat your feelings, aye?” 

    It’s another moment where she wishes her aunt was still here, someone she could turn to that might understand. Not just the weight of the situation but how deeply bizarre it could be in their line of work. It’s been nothing but loss in the past several years and Sharon is only sure that it’s nothing something that is going to stop any time soon. It’s tempting to disappear again, become someone on the move, someone without any ties. ‘ Sometimes poetry is overrated. ’ 

   Pretty words can only get you so far, it can’t exactly heal whatever wounds are forming ( metaphorical or literal ). ‘ Sometimes it’s all you can do when this happens. ’

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( ya bitch is employed ) i’ve landed a full time job !! so ahh my activity is probably going to get weirder. anyway i’m going to do whatever i owe and then throw out a starter call

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( wahoo ) sorry i’ve been dicking around cleaning up an old blog and i was in the middle of Peak Anxiety hours over a job interview so ahh i’m gonna do stuff here later in the week so thanks for the patience !

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( a knife ! nooooo ) ahhh how about a short-ish starter call using lyrics from six the musical because i finally bought a ticket to see it? mutuals only 

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i.d. owen, grady;

“I would thinking marginally less. Only because a botched burger rarely means the end of the word where as the ring not getting to Mount Doom would mean the entire world would be shrouded in darkness and evil for all time so.” Pick your battles? “A botched burger certainly doesn’t sit well, that’s for sure.” 

“I hope I can, seems like a tall order. It’s like I’m on Chopped or something—You know you’re still be an okay cook after but that recognition would be awesome.” Again, the stakes are very different. “What kind of judge would you say you are?” 

‘ Nothing really sits well when you have food poisoning. ’ ( zing ! ) ‘ It’s hard to compete when one situation involves essentially the end of the world. ’ But could a bad meal feel like the end of the world. Probably? but Sharon isn’t going to die on that hill. 

‘ Just be happy I’m not making you make it from a mystery basket. ’ Just throw in the whole chicken in a can just for fun ( no that would be cruel ). ‘ I like to think I’m a fair judge, substance over aesthetics usually. ’ Swear to God if he ever utters the word ‘deconstructed’ she’ll riot.

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( a knife ! nooooo ) ahhh how about a short-ish starter call using lyrics from six the musical because i finally bought a ticket to see it? mutuals only 

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( awesome ! wow ! ) what up ! i’ve been cleaning up an old blog, pet sitting and now my sister’s in town and then this weekend i’m heading out of town ! so i’ll be a little mia until like next week just because lots is happening but i just wanted to let ya’ll know !

have a good fourth wherever you might be or ahh happy thursday !

[tredecium]

i.d; grady, owen. 

“A mutual understanding of survival? Give and take, all that I get. Might have slightly different methods to accomplishing that though.” Teamwork was a great thing but there was a grey area that some worked in that he doesn’t quite understand. “Yeah, that risk I understand too. There’s some people…I wouldn’t trust em as far as I can throw em.” 

He chuckles at that. “I respect how serious you are about it, that’s quite a quest. Like Frodo taking the ring to Mount Doom, your quest is long. Though hopefully not nearly as dangerous.” Well the burger part of her life at least. “I’ll give you a heads up when I’m havin’ a burger night. then.”

   ‘ Yeah, there’s a handful that are going to give you that feeling. ’ She’d like to think she could avoid them completely but sometimes her back as been to the wall. It’s a difference that doesn’t need to be gotten into as deeply as she knows others might prompt her to ( or want to, there had been a few at the training that had wanted those kind of philosophical debates ). 

   ‘ Is food poisoning more or less dangerous as Mount Doom, a very important question. ’ Which, knock on wood, hadn’t happened to her yet. ‘ I can’t wait. I just hope you can live up to the promise of the burger. ’

[dailystevesharon]

Emily VanCamp on the red carpet of Captain America The Winter Solider

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i.d; grady, owen. 

“That’s the thing, isn’t it? Years and years of shit like this,” Funerals, bereavement, he means. “And we still don’t have all the answers. There’s no one way to move on from something like this. We all have our own ways and…some are harder than others.” 

Old friends come to mind. Ghosts from long before any of this. There was no chance of them coming back…though he had given it some thought what with all this. Still thinking he could pick up the phone and call them, still thinking that after all this time they would knock on the door. It wasn’t easy. 

“Well…burgers seem like as good a place to start as any.”

   She knows it would be easy to just let herself fall into it, let the grief overwhelm her and take her back under. It’s a familiar space, one she could navigate and live with as she has with all the rest. But this time makes her wonder if she can soldier on as she always used to, people came back and many never got the chance to. Her lips thin as she buries a sigh, add on top of it all the five years she’s been ‘dead’ for and she would rather just disappear into some freelance work again.  

     ‘ Sounds like it’s gonna be a hell of a time. ’ An understatement.

 ‘ It’s probably one of the better starting points. ’ It could stanch the wound for a time, maybe that’s enough.

[tredecium]

i.d; morse, bobbi;

@tredecium liked this for a starter

“You lost your job at SHIELD because of Rogers and now you lost it at the CIA because of him again? Honestly Sharon, you need to stop letting men influencing your life in such a way.”

    ‘ I think I just need to stop letting Roger’s influence my life. Maybe third times the charm? ’

[tredecium]

( debunked ! ) i’m the ~worst~, sorry ya’ll for vanishing i’ve been kind of neck deep in a blog clean up so i’ve been kind of neglecting here and my other blog BUT after some errands and working on a cover letter tomorrow i’m gonna do replies here ! thanks ya’ll for your patience 

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MMKAY

this is a lowkey starter call for mutuals only because i’m still reading my way through the comics and i want to write with ya’ll.

[tredecium]

                  i had to do things to survive, some of them violent, some degrading, 

                                      but all of them gave me a new perspective

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