Altars crumble faster in shallow water. But he still knelt like it was sacred. No one ever warned you that worship could look like loveâor that love could look like drowning.
plot; You've been dancing your whole life, but you've never felt truly seen until a pair of dark eyes begins watching you from behind the studio mirror. He's nothing like the men who usually want youâthis one treats your presence like a privilege he doesn't deserve. The power is intoxicating. The way he crumbles when you acknowledge him is even better. So you keep dancing for him. You keep him kneeling. And you tell yourself you're the one in controlâright up until you start needing him to watch.
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THE FANTASY
stalker!taehyung Ă ballerina!reader âą mutual obsession âą femdom âą submissive taehyung âą voyeurism âą slow burn
âȘïž genre: dark romance âą psychological thriller âą erotic drama
âȘïž pairing: taehyung Ă female!reader
âȘïž rating: explicit
âȘïž status: ongoing âą 18/32 chapters
âȘïž word count: 101k+ âą approximately 9h 23m
âȘïž updates: by September, every week after WP goals are achieved âĄ
âȘïž warnings: read the full content guide
âȘïž links: begin on tumblr | read on ao3 | read on wattpad
âȘïž community: join the taglist | send an ask
chapter index
* = explicit sexual content  | word counts are rounded  | times are casual reading pace
drabbles
â the offering: pressed flowers and secrets
â l'heure bleue: late-night shifts
extras
⊠official playlist
⊠moodboard
⊠fic asks and discussions
⊠ask the disasters
⊠POV reversals and drabble requests: open through asks
disclaimer: BTS members are used solely as visual references. All characterization and events are fictional, and this work is written for entertainment purposes.
pairing: hoseok x f!reader | rating: 18+ | wc: 11,850 | warnings: here
genre: childhood bffs, grumpy x sunshine, emotional slow burn, smut
"best mate privileges"
"Five years apart should have made him unfamiliar. Instead, his flat feels safer than yours, his clothes still smell like home, and his hands remember how to make you sleep."
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†author's note: Hello, my beloved victims. I had an absolutely ridiculous amount of fun writing this chapter, which is alarming considering a substantial portion of it is about corporate instability, unresolved childhood abandonment, and two emotionally constipated adults discovering that perhaps five years of separation did not, in fact, erase the terrifying amount of space they still occupy inside each other. You know. Light entertainment.
This chapter is very much about the strange intimacy of returning to someone who used to know you better than anyoneâand realizing that familiarity doesnât necessarily disappear when you grow apart. Sometimes it just goes dormant. It settles into the body. It becomes muscle memory. Itâs knowing how someone takes their coffee despite having missed five entire years of their life. Itâs remembering which touch helps them sleep. Itâs recognizing the shape of their loneliness because, once upon a time, it looked exactly like yours.
And I think thereâs something particularly painful about reconnecting with a childhood friend as an adult because youâre not simply meeting them again. Youâre also meeting every version of them you werenât there to witness⊠There are entire people inside the people we love that we never get to know. Versions who lived in different apartments, cried over different things, learned how to survive without us, developed routines we didnât help build. You can come back into someoneâs life and love who theyâve become while still grieving the fact that you werenât beside them while they became that person. Anyway. Ew. Feelings. Disgusting. Moving on.
This chapter is also about domesticity sneaking in through the back door wearing a fake moustache and insisting itâs merely friendship. Because Y/N and Hoseok are not consciously building a life together. Of course not. That would require self-awareness, and neither of them has been blessed with enough of that to survive the plot. Theyâre simply accumulating tiny habits. Becoming each otherâs first call after a bad day. Remembering food preferences. Offering clothes. Making room on couches. Learning how the other person needs to be held when language stops working. Completely normal best-friend behaviour. Nothing to investigate here. Please disperse.
I wanted their attraction in this chapter to feel less like a sudden revelation and more like something their bodies have already understood while their brains remain trapped several business days behind. They are becoming physically aware of each other in ways that are difficult to dismiss, but that awareness is tangled up with safety, nostalgia, grief, comfort, and the terrifying possibility that the person who feels most like home could also become someone they want. And wanting is dangerous when you have something precious to lose, isnât it? âșïž
Thatâs the real problem with friends-to-lovers, I reckon⊠The friendship isnât an obstacle standing between them and romance. The friendship is the reason the romance feels so frightening⊠Soooo naturally, rather than discussing any of that like functional adults, they will be communicating through sarcasm, prolonged eye contact, wildly inappropriate thoughts, accidental domesticity, and decisions so questionable I had to stare at my own document and whisper, âbe serious,â despite being the person actively making them do it. (Iâve said it once and Iâll say it acain. I have NO narrative agency whatsoever when it comes to writing my fanfics. This is NOT a joke.)
Thank you, as always, for reading, commenting, screaming, analysing punctuation, threatening fictional men, and enabling this increasingly elaborate psychological study disguised as a story about a hentai mangaka and his sarcastic childhood best friend.
I hope you enjoy the chapter. Please behave responsibly, because Hobi and Capy definitely wonât. <3
Davidson says the word âsynergisticâ twenty times in forty-six minutes, and you know this because Yukiâs been keeping count on the corner of her notepad.
She slides it across the conference table when heâs not lookingâa running tally in neat black pen, complete with little angry faces drawn next to the higher numbers.
Youâre supposed to be paying attention. Taking notes. Being a productive member of the Synergy International team.
Instead youâre watching Davidson gesture at a PowerPoint slide thatâs somehow managed to use five different fonts in a single bullet point, and wondering if this is what hell looks like. Just endless corporate presentations in a too-cold conference room that smells like burnt coffee and someoneâs tuna sandwich.
âAnd so,â Davidson announces, clicking to the next slide with all the gravitas of a man unveiling the cure for cancer, âIâm pleased to introduce our new campaign name.â
The slide loads.
PEPTIDE REVOLUTION: COLLAGEN FOR THE MODERN WOMAN
Silence.
Complete, absolute silence.
Amelie makes a noise that could be a cough or could be her soul leaving her body.
âRevolutionary,â Davidson continues, oblivious. âForward-thinking. A real paradigm shift in how we approach beauty supplementation in the Japanese market.â
Yukiâs hand moves. You watch her add another tally mark, then write in tiny letters:
If he says âparadigm shiftâ one more time, Iâm jumping.
You have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing.
âNow, I know what youâre all thinking,â Davidson says, and absolutely no one is thinking what he thinks theyâre thinking. âHow do we communicate this paradigmââ
Yukiâs pen moves so fast it nearly tears the paper.
ââthis shift in market positioning to our target demographic?â
She draws a stick figure falling off a building.
Youâre losing it. Your shoulders are shaking. You have to look down at your own notebook and pretend to be writing something very serious and important.
Your phone buzzes in your pocket.
You shouldnât check it. Youâre in a meeting. Youâre supposed to be professional.
You check it anyway, angling your body slightly away from Tanakaâs line of sight.
Brianna glances over, catches your expression, raises an eyebrow. You shake your head slightlyâlaterâand she nods, going back to her own notebook where sheâs been doodling what appears to be Davidsonâs head on fire.
âWhich brings me,â Davidson says, and something in his tone makes you look up, âto some organisational updates.â
The room shifts. People sit up straighter.
organisational updates. In corporate-speak, thatâs never good.
âAs many of you know, Synergy International has been evaluating our operational efficiency across all regional offices.â He clicks to a new slideâjust the company logo, which somehow makes it more ominous. âWeâre committed to streamlining our processes to better serve our clients and maximize our impact.â
Streamlining. Maximizing impact.
Translation: someoneâs getting sacked.
âPerformance reviews will be conducted over the next two weeks,â he continues. âAnd weâll be implementing some structural changes to ensure weâre operating at peak efficiency.â
Yukiâs pen has stopped moving. Amelieâs staring very intently at her hands.
You feel something cold settle in your stomach.
Youâve been here two months. Barely. Youâre still figuring out where the good vending machines are. You donât know half the systems. Your Japanese is passable but not fluent.
If theyâre cutting people, youâre an obvious choice.
The newest hire. The foreigner who still canât read half the memos. The one who definitely called in sick last week to help her friend finish his porn manga deadline.
Fuck.
Davidson keeps talking but youâve stopped listening. Your brainâs already spiraling through the worst-case scenariosâgetting sacked, having to find a new job, potentially having to leave Japan if you canât get another work visa sponsor, going back to Sydney with your tail between your legs and everyone asking what happened.
You shouldnât. You should go home and update your CV and maybe look at job listings and be a responsible adult about this whole situation.
But the thought of going back to your empty flat and spiraling alone sounds approximately one thousand times worse than spiraling in Hoseokâs organised chaos.
Your ears are burning. You can feel them. Physically feel the heat creeping up from your neck to the tips of your ears like some kind of biological betrayal.
Two exclamation marks. He never uses two exclamation marks. One, sure. Three, when he's being dramatic. But two sits in this uncanny valley of trying too hard to sound casual.
Not that you're analysing his punctuation patterns.
That would be insane.
You slide your phone back into your pocket just as Davidson wraps up his presentation.
âAny questions?â he asks brightly.
No one says anything.
Amelieâs still staring at her hands. Adaoâs jaw is clenched. Briannaâs crossed her arms and is radiating the kind of energy that suggests violence is not off the table.
âWonderful! Iâll be scheduling individual check-ins over the next few days. Keep an eye on your calendars.â
The meeting ends. Everyone files out in silence.
You grab your notebookâcovered in doodles of stick figures falling off buildings, courtesy of Yukiâand head back to your desk.
You drop into your chair and find the printer proofs waiting exactly where you left them: oversized sheets covered in crop marks, registration bars, and sticky notes from three departments that apparently communicate exclusively through arrows.
The collagen launch needs final English copy before the packaging vendor locks everything for print tomorrow. Bottle label, sachet cartons, counter display, beauty-counter cards, and a folded customer leafletâeach one carrying a slightly different version of the same claim.
Your job is to compare the proofs against the approved Japanese copy, clean up the agencyâs English, and squeeze the corrections back into boxes designed for sentences half the length.
Across every sheet, in metallic-pink placeholder ink:
PEPTIDE REVOLUTION.
Thrilling stuff.
Your phone buzzes. You ignore it.
It buzzes again.
You keep typing.
Third buzz.
You grab it, fully prepared to tell Hoseok to fuck off and let you finish this soulless document in peaceâ
You stare at the message for a solid ten seconds, then put the phone face-down on your desk.
Nope.
Not dealing with that right now.
The proofs arenât going to correct themselves.
You start with the customer leaflet, lining a ruler beneath the first block so your eyes donât jump between columns. The outside agency has translated one of the taglines as âTowards Every Day with Tension.â
Technically English. Spiritually a threat.
You cross it out in red, type a usable alternative into the master copy file, then count every character because the printer has allowed fifty-two spaces and Davidson wants eighty-seven spacesâ worth of nonsense.
Next is âReturn Your Skin to Its Original Young Powerâ, followed by âCollagen That Understands the Modern Lady.â
You fix both. Then the carton. Then the bottle label. Then the counter card where Davidson has handwritten âCan we make this sound more revolutionary?â beside a claim Legal already rejected twice.
Youâre going to walk into the ocean. Youâre actually going to do it.
By the time youâve corrected the carton, the bottle label, and half the customer leaflet, the red pencil has left a dent in your middle finger.
You take a break to get coffee from the kitchenâthe good stuff that Tanaka-san hides in the back of the cupboard behind the decaf no one touches.
When you get back, Adao's crouched next to Yuki's desk, half-disappeared under her monitor.
"No, see, is the connection," he's saying, wiggling something behind her computer tower. "The cable, it isâah, there."
Yuki's leaning over, watching him work. "Oh! It's working now."
"Yes, I told you." He surfaces, pushing his hair back. There's a smudge of dust on his jaw. "Is always the cable. People think is the software butâ" He makes a dismissive gesture. "Is just the cable."
"You're a lifesaver," Yuki says.
Adao stands, brushing off his knees. He's wearing dark jeans and a button-down that actually fits, sleeves rolled to his elbows. Proper IT guy who doesn't look like an IT guy.
He notices you staring and nods. "Your computer is okay?"
"Yeah, mine's fine."
"Good." He glances at Yuki, then back at you. "You are coming for drinks later? After work?"
You open your mouth.
From across the room, Amelie's head pops up over her cubicle divider like a meerkat. She presses her palms together. "Please."
"Iâ" You hesitate. "I've got plans already."
Amelie's face falls. Yuki spins in her chair, eyebrows raised.
"Tomorrow, maybe?" you offer, and you feel weirdly guilty about it, which is stupid.
You're allowed to have plans. You've had these plans for hours.
"Tomorrow works," Brianna says from her desk, not looking up from her screen. "I've got a thing tonight anyway."
Amelie brightens. "Okay! Tomorrow! We can do that place in Namba, the one with the good gyozaâ"
"And the terrible service," Yuki adds.
"The service is fineâ"
"They forgot your order twice."
Adao's still standing there, hands in his pockets, looking mildly amused. "Is decided, then. Tomorrow."
"Wait, wait, Adaoâ" Amelie swivels in her chair, zeroing in on him with laser focus. "You should bring Mr. Kim."
You blink. "Mr. Kim?"
"Ohâhe's not Japanese," Amelie says, waving a hand. "American-Korean. We only talk to him in English, hence the 'Mr.' instead ofâyou know." She gestures vaguely. "The whole -san situation. He insists on Mr Kim. Says Kim-san makes him feel like someoneâs dad."
"He does translation work," Yuki adds. "Cultural consulting. For international business stuff."
"He's alsoâ" Amelie makes a helpless gesture. "Have you seen him?"
"I work in accounting," Yuki says. "I see everyone's files. I've seen his employee photo."
"Then you understand."
Adao's face does something complicated. "AhâŠ"
"Please," Amelie says, hands coming together like she's praying. "Please. I am begging you."
"He is very busyâ"
"I don't care! Bring him anyway!"
"You have been talking about him for three weeks," Adao says, looking genuinely pained.
"Because he'sâ" Amelie gestures again, more emphatically. "I mean, come on."
"I will ask," Adao says carefully. "Butâ"
"Thank you!" Amelie's practically vibrating. "Oh my god, thank you, you're the bestâ"
"I said I will askâ"
"He's going to say yes. I can feel it."
Adao glances at you, then at Yuki, then back at Amelie.
"Women are scary," he says, very seriously.
"You're only just figuring that out?" Brianna asks, not looking up from her screen.
Yuki laughs, and Adao starts to turn back towards his desk. Before the conversation can fully dissolve, Amelie props her chin on her hand and turns to you with the particular look she gets when sheâs decided something.
âYou should totally invite your friend out with us, by the way.â
You glance up from your keyboard. âWhat friend.â
âOh, come on.â She spins her chair to face you fully. âDonât what friend me. The cinnamon-haired one from Midnight Keys.â
âThe golden retriever,â Yuki adds, not looking up.
âHeâs not myââ You stop. Start again. âIâm not bringing my childhood best friend to a company dinner.â
âItâs not a company dinner,â Amelie says, genuinely offended.
âExactly,â Brianna cuts in, finally looking up. âHow dare you call it that. Davidson is not coming. Donât say that word.â
âItâs drinks,â Amelie insists. âNormal human drinks. Between normal humans who happen to work together and are allowed to have outside friendsââ
âHeâs cute, though,â Yuki says, still not looking up. âYour friend. Very enthusiastic.â
âHe waves with both hands,â Brianna observes. âLike a Labrador.â
âGolden retriever,â Amelie corrects.
âIs there a difference?â
âAnyway.â Amelie fixes you with her most earnest expression. âIs he single?â
You stop typing.
The question sits there, perfectly ordinary, requiring a perfectly ordinary answer, and your brain immediately helpfully supplies: âwe literally dry humped the other day so if he has a partner Iâm worried for them.â
Instead, you settle for something a tad more diplomatic.
âI⊠guess?â
âYou guess.â
âI meanââ You glance at his flat in your head.
The instant noodle tower. The sugar glider. The sketchbooks. The total absence of anything that suggests another human being has ever stayed there.
âSeeing his flat, I definitely donât think heâs got anything going on. Thatâs for sure.â
Amelie looks delighted. Yuki finally looks up.
âAre you interested?â Amelie asks. Just like that. No preamble.
âWhat?â You actually choke on nothing. âNoâheâs my childhood best friend, thatâsâwhat kind of question evenââ
âOkay, okay.â Amelie holds her hands up, way too pleased with the reaction. âSo thatâs a no.â
âThatâs a obviously no.â
âGreat.â Brianna leans forward, elbows on her desk. âSoâwas it the black-haired one? The cat-looking one?â
âYoongi?â
You freeze.
Brianna's smiling. It's not a nice smile. It's the smile of someone who's got you pinned and knows it.
"Because if you're not interested," she continues, "I am begging you to introduce us."
Your face goes hot. "I don't even know him."
"But your golden retriever does," Yuki says, grinning.
"He's not myâ"
"They always know everything," Yuki continues, ignoring you completely. "Golden retrievers. Very social creatures."
Amelie props her chin on her hand. "Personally, I like golden retrievers. They're so my type." She pauses. "What's his deal? Your friend?"
"He'sâ" You falter. What is Hoseok's deal? "He draws manga."
"Ooh, artist type."
"He's a disaster," you say flatly. "Eats instant noodles for every meal. Owns a sugar glider. His flat's a health hazard."
Amelie's eyes go wide. "A sugar glider?"
"Don't," you warn. "Don't do that voice."
"What voice?"
"That 'oh my god that's adorable' voice."
"I'm notâ" She absolutely is. "Okay, but that is adorable."
Brianna's still watching you. "So. The black-haired one.â
"What about him?" you ask, trying for casual and landing somewhere around defensive.
"He was fit," Brianna says simply. "And I haven't been on a proper date since I moved here, so if you're not planning to make a moveâ"
âAs I said, BriâI donât know him."
âSoo we get to know him, here's the plan. You ask your friend to hang out. Casual group thing. He brings Yoongi. That way you can figure out if you're actually interested, yeah? And if you're notâ" She peeks her tongue out. "I'll also be there. I can shoot my shot. Everyone wins."
You stare at her.
It's⊠actually not a terrible plan.
You are curious about Yoongi. He's hot, yeah, but alsoâhe's got that whole understated thing going on. The kind of guy who doesn't need to try, which is either very attractive or deeply annoying depending on the day.
"I can ask," you hear yourself say.
Amelie claps. Yuki grins. Brianna nods like you've just signed a contract.
"Brilliant," Brianna says. "See you tomorrow!â
Adao catches your eye and shakes his head slightly. The gesture very clearly says: You are in trouble now.
Yeah. You're aware.
You retreat to your desk, face still warm, and drag the folded customer leaflet back beneath your keyboard.
Supports firmer-looking skin for modern life.
Right. Back to the void.
You work through lunchâleftover rice balls from the konbini, eaten one-handed while checking product codes against the Japanese master and transferring your corrections into the copy file.
The office empties out around one. People drift back slowly, smelling like ramen and cigarette smoke.
Yuki appears at your desk at some point with a can of cold coffee. Sets it down without a word, then disappears again.
You drink it. It tastes like sweetened sadness, but the caffeine helps.
By four, youâve reached the third proofing pass. Your wrist hurts from switching between the red pencil and keyboard. Your eyes hurt from comparing near-identical blocks of text.
Youâre running purely on spite and the looming threat of restructuring.
By four-thirty, youâre done.
Five pieces of packaging. Two counter cards. One customer leaflet. Thirty-four separate blocks of English copy, all corrected, cross-checked, and bullied into the limited space provided by the printer.
Not a single skin youth revolution survives.
You stack the marked proofs in order, print the final list of corrections, staple it to the top, and email the clean copy file to the packaging vendor.
Then you carry the signed approval sheet to the fax machine.
It swallows the paper, shrieks at Osaka for forty seconds, and spits out a confirmation slip at 4:48 PM.
Done.
Davidson will look at the finished packaging next week, announce that the English feels âmuch more synergistic,â and forget that anyone had to fix it.
You close your laptop. Stare at the ceiling for a moment.
Then you grab your bag, shove your notebook inside, and stand up.
Yuki glances over. "Leaving already?"
"It's almost five."
"It's 4:50."
"I'm preemptively leaving."
She grins. "Rebel."
"Someone's gotta do it." You sling your bag over your shoulder. "See you tomorrow, yeah?"
"Bring your golden retriever."
"He's notâ" You give up. "Whatever. Yeah. Maybe."
Amelie waves from across the room. Adao nods. Brianna gives you a thumbs-up that feels vaguely threatening.
You take the lift downâseven floors of mildly depressing Muzakâand step out into the Umeda early evening.
The air's cooler now. November settling in properly.
You shove your phone back in your pocket and head towards the station.
Hoseok's pencil stops moving when you can't make your face do what he needs.
"Okay, soâ" He taps the eraser against his bottom lip, eyes flicking between you and his reference sketches spread across the desk. "This scene is different. Miki's not performing anymore. She's alone in her flat and Yuuta's gone and she thinksâshe's convinced herself she's lost him for good."
You're sitting on the edge of his bed, still in your work clothes minus the blazer. The expensive ramen sits cooling in takeout containers on his low table in the other room, barely touched. You'd made it three bites in before he'd asked if you were up for a session.
You'd said yes because what else were you going to do? Spiral about restructuring alone in your flat?
"Right," you say. "So, sad cat-girl. Got it."
"Not just sad." He flips to a previous page, showing you a sketch of Miki's face. "She's grieving. She'sâit's that specific kind of loss where the person's still alive but you've lost them anyway. Like they're a stranger now and you don't know how to get them back."
Something uncomfortable shifts in your chest.
"Okay."
"So I need you toâ" He gestures vaguely at your face. "Feel that. Show me what that looks like."
You arrange your expression. Sad eyes. Downturned mouth. The kind of thing you've seen in movies.
Hoseok frowns. "You look like you're constipated."
"Fuck off."
"I'm serious! That'sâthat's not grief, that's just..." He waves his hand. "I need real."
"What do you want me to do, actually cry on command?"
"No, justâ" He runs a hand through his hair, and you notice he's taken his glasses off. They're sitting on the desk next to his pencil case, which means he's been drawing for hours already and his eyes are probably killing him. "Think about something real. Something that actually makes you feelâ"
"Feel what?"
"Whatever Miki would feel. Alone. Missing someone who used to know everything about you."
The discomfort spreads. Roots deeper.
"Fine."
You try again. Soften your eyes. Think about sad things.
That dog food commercial that always gets you. The ending of Grave of the Fireflies. Your Year 9 English teacher who died of cancer.
Hoseok's frown deepens. "Stop acting."
"I'm notâ"
"You are. You're doing a face. I can tell."
"Well, excuse me for not being a method actorâ"
"Capy." He leans back in his chair, pencil dangling between his fingers. "Just... think about something that actually hurt. Something real."
You stare at him.
He stares back, completely oblivious to what he's asking.
"Okay," you say slowly. "What's the scene again?"
"Miki's alone. She had this huge fight with Yuutaâhe said some things, she said some things, it got ugly. And he left. And she's sitting there in her flat thinking he's not coming back. That she's finally pushed him away for good." Hoseok's already sketching as he talks, rough lines taking shape on the page. "She spent all this time keeping him at a distance because she was scared of exactly thisâof needing someone and losing themâand now it's happened anyway."
Your throat goes tight.
"And the worst part," he continues, completely absorbed now, tongue poking out slightly as he adds detail to Miki's cat ears, "is that she can't even be angry about it. Because she knows she did this. She pushed and pushed until he finally walked away. So now she's just... sitting there. Trying to figure out how you're supposed to miss someone who's still alive."
You don't say anything.
"It's complicated because Miki's whole thing is that she doesn't need anyone, right? She's got this imageâconfident, in control, doesn't catch feelings. But Yuuta saw through that. He knew her. Like, actually knew her, before she built all those walls." He's gesturing with the pencil now, sketching forgot. "And she got used to that. To having someone who just got it. Got her. And then one day they're strangers and she doesn't know how that happened."
Your jaw goes tight.
"So I need that expression. That specific hurt ofâit's not dramatic, it's not loud. It's just this quiet realization that you've lost something you didn't even know you were relying on until it was gone."
You're not listening anymore.
You're thinking about the five years.
About Hoseok leaving Sydney in 1998 with his mum and two suitcases and a promise to call every week. About how those calls got less frequent. Monthly. Every few months. Then just occasional messages when you both happened to be online at the same time.
About the person he was at seventeenâloud and ridiculous and always showing up at your window with some new disaster he'd got himself intoâand how you'd just assumed he'd always be like that. That you'd always know him.
About moving to Osaka and seeing his Friendster  profile and staring at it for three hours before finally typing out that first message. Because some part of you was terrified he wouldn't remember you. Or worseâthat he'd remember you and not care.
About all the versions of Hoseok you'd missed.
University Hoseok. First-flat-in-Osaka Hoseok. Learning-to-draw-hentai-professionally Hoseok.
The Hoseok who'd got diagnosed with ADHD and figured out how to ask for help and built a life here without you in it.
You'd missed all of it.
And you can't get it back.
Your eyes are burning.
"âwhich is why the expression has to be subtle, you know? It's not about the tears, it's about what happens before the tears. That moment where you're still holding it together but you can feel it crackingâCapy?"
You blink hard. Try to force it back down.
"Yeah, I'mâ"
Your voice cracks.
Shit.
"Did you fall asleep?"
He's turning around in his chair, grin already forming like he's about to tease you for dozing off during his artistic ramblingâ
His face changes.
The grin disappears. His eyes go wide.
"Oh."
His sketchbook slides off his lap. Hits the floor with a dull thump that neither of you react to.
You're not crying. Not really. Your eyes are just wet and your throat's gone tight and you're biting the inside of your cheek hard enough to taste copper.
"Capy..."
"I'm fine."
"You're notâ"
"I said I'm fine."
He's staring at you like you've just materialized out of thin air. Like he's seeing you for the first time.
Then something clicks behind his eyes.
"I'mâI'm so sorry, I didn't meanâyou haven't lost meâ"
"Who said anything about you?"
It comes out sharper than you meant. Defensive. Your default setting.
"IâI don't know, I just thoughtââ
"Not everything's about you, you dickhead."
"I know! I know, I'm sorry, I justâ" He looks genuinely distressed. "The whole thing about missing someone who knew you, and growing apart, and Iâshit, I wasn't thinkingâ"
"It's fine."
"It's notâ"
"Ott." Your voice cracks again and you hate it. "It's fine. You asked me to think about something real. I did. That's the job, yeah?"
There's a long silence.
Momo chirps from her cage on the other room.
"For what it's worth," he says quietly, "I missed you too."
Your throat closes up completely.
"Those five years wereâ" He stops. Starts again. "I thought about texting you so many times. Like, so many times. I'd write out the message and then delete it because I didn't know what to say anymore. Didn't know if you'd even want to hear from me."
"That's stupid."
"Yeah, probably." He's looking at his hands now. Fingers tapping against his thighs. "But I kept thinkingâwe grew up. We changed. You had your life in Sydney and I had... whatever this is. And maybe we were just supposed to be childhood friends, you know? Maybe that was it."
"That's really stupid."
"I know."
"Like, properly thick."
"I know."
You bite your lip. Try to hold it together.
Fail.
The sob comes out before you can stop it. Quiet but unmistakable.
Hoseok's head snaps up.
"Capyâ"
"Shut up."
"I'mâ"
"I said shut up."
Another sob.
You're furious at yourselfâat your stupid eyes that won't stop burning, at your throat that won't unclench, at the fact that you're sitting here crying in Jung Hoseok's bedroom like you're sixteen again and he's the only person who knows how to make it stop hurting.
You hear him move. The chair creaking as he stands.
You look up, and heâs standing there, a metre away, arms slightly raised.
Simply offering. Like he always does when it comes to you.
Never taking anything for granted, just offering.
"You don't have to," he says quietly. "But if you wantâ"
You lean forward. Rest your forehead against his stomach. Your hands come up to grip the sides of his shirt.
His arms come around you immediately. One hand on your back, the other cradling the back of your head, gentle but solid.
"I've got you," he murmurs. "I'm right here."
You sob harderâuglyâand your face is hot and your nose runs and your whole body shakes with it.
And Hoseok just holds you.
Doesn't tell you to stop, doesnât ask you to explain, doesnât try to fix it.
He simply stands there in his stupid tee and worn-out jeans, letting you cry into his shirt.
"You smell like sakura mochi," he says eventually. Soft. Almost to himself.
"I know, butâ" His hand moves slightly, fingers curving against your back. "For five years I thought I'd missed my chance. Thought you'd moved on and built this whole life without me and I'd just be this weird guy from your childhood who you'd be polite to if we ever ran into each other."
"You are a weird guy from my childhood."
"Yeah, but you came back." His voice does something. Gets quieter. "You reached out. You came to Osaka. You're here."
Your fingers tighten in his shirt.
"Not going anywhere," you mumble into his stomach.
"Good."
"Even though you're an idiot."
"Established."
"And your flat smells like burnt rice."
"Rude, but fair."
You pull back slightly. Just enough to wipe your face with the back of your hand. You probably look like a disasterâred eyes, blotchy cheeks, nose running.
Hoseok's looking at you like you're the best thing he's seen all week.
"Better?" he asks.
"No."
"Fair."
He's still got one arm around you. Loose enough that you could pull away if you wanted.
You don't want to.
"Did you get the expression?" you ask. "For your stupid manga?"
He blinks.
Then laughsâsurprised and slightly amused. "I wasn't drawing."
"You should've been. That's what I was here for."
"Capyâ"
"Professional reference model, remember?"
"You're impossible."
"And you're a sap."
"Also fair."
There's a pause. He's still looking at you like that. Like you've done something remarkable just by existing in his space.
"Want to watch Cowboy Bebop?" he asks suddenly.
You stare at him. "What?"
"Cowboy Bebop. The anime. I've got the DVDs." He gestures vaguely towards the living room. "We could just... sit. Watch a few episodes. Not think about anything."
"I look like shit."
"You look fine."
"I've got snot on my face."
"I've got tissues."
"Your ramen's cold."
"Microwaves exist."
You want to argue more. Want to insist you should go home and be a functional adult who doesn't have emotional breakdowns in other people's flats.
But the thought of going back to your empty flat right now makes something in your chest hurt worse than it already does.
"Fine," you hear yourself say. "But I'm picking the episodes."
His face lights up. "Deal."
He moves towards his desk, grabbing tissues from the box next to his monitor. Hands you several.
You wipe your face. Blow your nose. Try to pull yourself together.
And something suddenly catches your eyeâsomething with a red cover, something that looks like a sketchbook.
But his usual sketchbook has a black coverâŠ
Doesnât it?
You steal his blanket before he can even think about it.
The grey oneâthe expensive one he splurged on last year, the one thatâs somehow always perfectly warm.
You wrap it around yourself like a cape and tuck your legs under your chin, making yourself as small as possible in the corner of his couch.
Hoseok notices immediately when he comes back from the kitchen. Stops in the doorway, two steaming ramen containers balanced in his hands, and huffs.
âThatâs mine.â
âWas yours.â
âI bought that with my own money.â
âShouldâve been faster.â You adjust the blanket tighter around your shoulders. âAlso your couch is freezing.â
âItâs November. Everythingâs freezing.â
But heâs already sitting down next to you anyway, close enough that his knee bumps yours as he settles in. He hands you one of the containersâyours, the one with extra green onions because he remembered without asking.
You balance it on top of your knees, chopsticks already in hand.
The TV flickers. Opening credits. That jazz saxophone cutting through the silence.
Heâs already eating, slurping noodles with zero regard for decorum. Momoâs loose now, perched on the back of the couch behind him, tail twitching, watching the screen like she understands whatâs happening.
You eat slower. Let the broth warm you from the inside.
âWhy do you like it so much?â you ask eventually. âThis show, I mean.â
âDunno.â Heâs staring at the screen but you can tell heâs not really watching anymore. âCame back in â98 and iit was on telly here. Iâd justâŠâ He makes a vague gesture with his chopsticks. âI didnât know anyone yet. Mum was at work most days and I was trying to find jobs but my Japanese was shit for business stuff even though I grew up speaking it, you know? Like I could talk to Mum fine but formal keigo with strangersââ
He trails off. Takes another bite.
âSo Iâd come home and watch this.â He chews thoughtfully. âIt kept me company. When I was lonely.â
On screen, Spike and Jet are bickering about bounties. The ship drifts through space, aimless.
âThatâs kinda sad, Ott.â
âYeah.â He grins, but itâs crooked. âI was pretty sad back then.â
You continue eating your noodles, wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. Hoseokâs still working through his, slower now.
âWant a beer?â he asks.
âYeah, alright.â
He gets up, goes into the kitchen. You hear the fridge open. The crack-hiss of cans. He comes back withtwo big Asahis and hands you one before dropping back onto the couch, closer this time.
The blanketâs big enough to cover both of you. You donât offer. He doesnât take.
You take a sip of your beer. Cold and bitter and exactly right.
Episode two starts.
You watch for a while. Drink your beer. Try to find the words for the question thatâs been sitting in your throat since he mentioned â98.
âI never asked you properly, I reckon,â you say finally, quietly. âBut⊠why did you leave Sydney?â
Hoseok goes still, stops mid-drink, the can halfway to his mouth.
You keep your eyes on the TV. Easier that way.
âLike, I remember you said you wanted to be with your mum,â you continue, careful, âbut I didnât really get it back then. We were mates and then you were just⊠gone.â
He sets his beer down. Leans forward, elbows on his knees. Reaches over the arm of the couch and grabs something wedged in the cushionsâa small round plushie. Orange cat with a grumpy face. He holds it in both hands.
âYou knew about the divorce, yeah?â he asks.
âYeah.â
Everyone knew. It wasnât exactly quiet when his parents split.
He squeezes the plushie. âMum cheated on Dad.â
You nod. Youâd heard rumors. Seen Hoseokâs face go tight whenever anyone brought it up at school.
âI was so fucking mad at her,â he says, and thereâs old anger in his voice still. âLike, properly furious. Didnât want anything to do with her for ages. Sheâd call and I wouldnât pick up. Sheâd send letters and Iâd bin them. Becauseââ He squeezes the cat harder. âI donât fuck with cheating. You donât do that to someone.â
You take another sip of beer. Donât interrupt.
âDad made it ugly with lawyers. He wanted me to stay in Sydney, and Mum thought I should be allowed to decide. And I chose him because all my mates were in Sydney and I was pissed at Mum and Dad actually wanted me there, you know? He fought for me.â
His thumb presses into the plushieâs stomach. Over and over.
âBut thenâŠâ He stops. Starts again. âDad tried. He really did. Heâd come home earlier, ask about school, actually show up to things. But work alwaysâit always pulled him back. Heâd promise to make dinner and then call at seven saying he was stuck in a meeting. Heâd say weâd go to the cricket on Saturday and then have to fly to Melbourne for some emergency. He tried but it was never quiteâŠâ
âEnough,â you finish quietly.
âYeah.â He laughs, but thereâs no humor in it. âAnd I couldnât even be mad because he was trying. Like, genuinely trying. But his best wasnâtâit just wasnât enough.â
On screen, Jetâs watering his bonsai. Talking about the past.
âMum kept calling,â Hoseok continues. âEvery week. Even when I wouldnât answer. And eventually I⊠I gave her a chance. Visited during summer holidays. And she was justâshe was there, you know? Like, actually there. Made breakfast, asked about my day, wanted to know what I was drawing. And Osaka felt more like home than Sydney ever did, which was fucked because I grew up in Sydney.â
âBut you had your mum here,â you say.
âYeah. I had Mum.â He sets the beer down, both hands on the plushie now. âI started visiting more. Stayed longer each time. And then Dad met Vanessa and they got married and I knew they wanted a kid and I justââ
He stops. Jaw working.
âI thought maybe it was good. Like, maybe heâd finally have the family thing he wanted. Maybe this time work wouldnât matter as much. Maybe heâd get it right with the new kid.â His voice cracks slightly. âSo I moved here. Told him I was taking a gap year, maybe transferring to a Japanese uni. And heââ
Hoseokâs hands go still.
âHe took it as this massive betrayal. After everything with Mum. After the courts, after the custody fight, after he wonâI went to her anyway. And from his perspective I get it. I really do. But I couldnât stay there watching him build a whole new life while I was justââ
âBackground noise,â you finish.
âYeah.â
You shift closer. Let your shoulder press against his.
âWhenâs the last time you talked to him?â
âThree years.â He says it flat. Simple. Like it doesnât hurt. âHe sends emails sometimes. About my brother. James. Heâs three now. Seems like they were successful with the pregnancy.â
Your chest tightens. âOttâŠâ
âI always wanted a brother,â he says, and his voice does something awful. Goes small. âWhen I was a kid Iâd ask Mum and Dad for one all the time. And now Iâve got one and I canâtââ
He stops. Squeezes the plushie so hard his knuckles go white.
âDad wonât answer when I reply. He just sends these little updates and I donât know how to fix it and James doesnât even know I exist probably, or if he does Iâm just this abstract concept of a brother in Japan whoââ
His voice cracks properly this time.
You donât think. Just reach over and take the plushie from his hands before he crushes it completely. Set it on the table. Take his hand instead.
âThatâs really shit,â you say quietly.
âYeah.â He squeezes your hand back. Hard. âItâs pretty shitty.â
He holds your hand for another beat, then two. His thumb brushes the side of your palmârough skin, callous from holding pens, warm.
âAnyway,â he says, and the word is too loud. Too bright. He pulls his hand back like heâs just realized he was holding yours. âThatâs enough heavy shit for a Tuesday.â
He grabs his beer. Downs half of it in one go.
âYeah,â you say, looking away. âHeavy shit quota filled.â
âExactly.â He sets the can down with a sharp click. âNow we focus on important things. Like how Jet is definitely the mum of the group.â
âSpike cooks sometimes.â
âSpike makes bell peppers and beef with no beef. Thatâs not cooking, thatâs a cry for help.â
You snort. The tension breaks, just a little.
You pick up your ramen container again. Itâs cooled down now, the plastic slightly soft in your hands. You balance it on your knees, chopsticks digging for a piece of pork you know is hiding at the bottom.
Hoseok shifts next to you. Restless. That energy of his that never really settles, always humming just under the skin. He leans over to grab the remote from the coffee table, stretching across your lap to reach it.
âWhat are you doing?â
âChecking how long is left. I wanna show you theââ
His elbow clips the edge of your container.
âOtt, watch outââ
Too late.
The container tips. Gravity does its thing.
And half a litre of shoyu broth, noodles, and that elusive piece of pork cascades directly onto your chest.
âFuck!â
âShitâCapy, Iâm soââ
The heat hits you first. Itâs not scaldingâthank god for slow eatersâbut itâs hot enough to make you gasp. Wet warmth soaks through your white work blouse instantly, plastering the fabric to your skin from collarbone to sternum.
âOh my god,â Hoseok is scrambling, hands hovering, panic written all over his face. âIâm so sorry, I didnâtâshit, is it hot? Are you okay?â
âIâm fine,â you hiss, grabbing a napkin from the table and dabbing frantically at the disaster zone. âJustâwet. And smelling like pork and soy.â
Heâs rolled his sleeves up. Both of them. Shoved them to his elbows in one quick, efficient motion so they wouldn't get wet, and now his forearms are right there.
âHere, let meââ
He grabs the hand towel without thinkingâbecause he never thinks, does he? He just doesâhe reaches out and starts scrubbing at your shirt.
âItâs gonna stain,â heâs saying, frantic, rubbing the cloth against your chest. âSoy sauce stains like a bitch, we need to get cold water on it or maybe dish soap, Mum always said dish soap for oilââ
His hand is firm. Moving in quick, circular motions.
Right over your left breast.
You freeze.
When the fuck did his forearms get like that?
Not huge. Not bodybuilder nonsense. Justâdefined. The tendons shifting under skin as his hands move, the veins visible along the inside of his wrists, the way the muscle flexes when he presses the cloth against your shirt.
You're staring. You know you're staring. You can't stop.
He could probably pin you down with one hand. Justâgrab both your wrists, hold them above your head, spin you around and press you into the couch cushions with zero effort.
Your face goes nuclear.
âI think if we soak it now we can save it,â he mumbles, scrubbing harder. âMight need to use the stain remover I got for the ink spills, butââ
His knuckles brush the underside of your breast.
Your breath catches. A small, involuntary hitch in your throat that sounds suspiciously like a squeak.
Hoseok freezes. Looks up.
Youâre staring at him. Heâs staring at you.
And his hand is still on your boob.
You should say something. You should make a joke. You should shove him off and call him a pervert and laugh it off like you always do.
His gaze drops, slides from your eyes down to where his hand is resting, and his eyes immediately widen.
Because your shirt is wet. Soaked through. Translucent.
And underneath the sensible white cotton of your Synergy International work blouse, you are wearing the pale pink lace bra you bought on sale three weeks ago because the sales assistant said it made you look âdelicate.â
Itâs not a work bra. Itâs a âI feel like shit and want to know Iâm wearing something pretty underneath the corporate beigâ bra.
Itâs lace. Itâs sheer. And right now, thanks to the physics of wet fabric, it is entirely visible.
You can feel your face heating up. Not the slow burn from earlierâthis is a flash fire. Your ears, your neck, your cheeks. You must look like a tomato.
Hoseok swallows. You see his throat click.
His eyes trace the line of lace. The curve of your breast pressed against the fabric. The way your nipple is hardening against the cold air (and his warm hand, oh god, his hand).
He looks back up at your face.
Then back down.
Then to the side, at the wall, like the wall is suddenly the most interesting thing in the universe.
Then back to your chest.
âIââ He starts. Voice rough. Clears his throat. âI shouldââ
He snatches his hand back like heâs been burned.
âSorry,â he chokes out. âIâuh. The stain. I was justââ
He scrambles backward on the couch, catching his foot on the coffee table leg with a loud thud.
"çăŁăăăăŁïŒ" (Owâfuck!) He stumbles, hopping on one leg, clutching his shin.
Which should not be attractive. It's objectively not attractive.
Except somehow the way he swears in Japaneseâvoice rough and breathless and painedâdoes something to your brain that you refuse to examine.
You wonder what other situations would make him curse like that.
Stop it.
Stop.
âAre you okay?â Your voice is an octave higher than usual.
Why is it higher? Stop that.
âFine! Iâm fine!â Heâs standing now, clutching his shin, face roughly the same colour as the plushie he was strangling earlier. âJustâshin. Table. Classic. You know me.â
He laughs. It sounds hysterical.
âRight,â you say.
You look down at your chest.
Itâs a disaster. Brown splotches. Wet fabric clinging to every curve. The pink lace grinning through like a neon sign saying âLOOK AT MEâ
You cross your arms over your chest immediately.
âI need to change,â you mumble into your shoulder.
âYeah!â Hoseok squeaks. âYeah. Change. Good idea. Wet clothes. Bad. Pneumonia. Not on my watch.â
He spins around. Marches towards his bedroom with the stiff-legged gait of a man who has forgot how knees work.
âIâll get youâsomething. A shirt. Hoodie. I have hoodies.â
He disappears into the bedroom. You hear drawers opening and closing. A thud. A muffled curse. More rummaging.
You sit there on the couch, arms crossed, staring at the paused TV screen. Spike Spiegel is frozen mid-kick.
Your heart is hammering against your ribs.
Thud-thud-thud-thud.
Did he justâ?
He definitely looked.
He didnât just look. He stared.
And he didnât make a joke. He didnât say ânice undies, Capyâ or âscandalousâ or any of the things seventeen-year-old Hoseok would have said.
He just went red and ran away.
Which meansâŠ
Shut up. Donât think about it. He was embarrassed because he spilled soup on you. Thatâs it. Thatâs all.
Hoseok reappears. Heâs holding a black hoodie in both hands, presenting it like a sacred offering. Heâs staring at the hoodie intently, refusing to look anywhere near you.
âHere,â he says to the floor. âItâs clean. I washed it last week.â
You stand up. Keep one arm across your chest. Reach out with the other.
âThanks.â
Your fingers brush his as you take the hoodie.
He flinches. Actually flinches.
âBathroomâs free,â he says quickly, stepping back. âObviously. Since Iâm here. And not in there.â
âRight.â
âIâllâIâll clean this up.â He gestures vaguely at the spilled ramen on the floor. âThe mess.â
âOkay.â
You flee.
The bathroom door shuts behind you with a click that feels like safety. You lean back against it and exhale, long and shaky.
Jesus Christ.
You look in the mirror.
You look insane. Your hair is half-falling out of its clip. Your face is bright red. And your shirt is practically see-through, the delicate pink lace of your bra visible in high definition.
âYouâre an idiot,â you whisper to your reflection. âWhy did you wear this? Why today?â
You peel the wet shirt off. The fabric is cold and clammy now, smelling of soy sauce and shame. You drop it in the sink.
Standing there in just your bra and work trousers, you catch sight of yourself again. The lace against your skin. The way your breasts look in itâfuller, lifted.
You remember his eyes. The way theyâd tracked the curve. The way his hand had felt, heavy and warm, right there.
A shiver runs through you that has nothing to do with the cold.
Stop it.
You pull the hoodie over your head.
It swallows you. The sleeves hang past your fingertips. The hem drops to mid-thigh. It's old and soft and clearly one of his favouritesâthe cotton worn thin in places, the drawstrings frayed at the tips.
And it smells like yuzu.
Not faintly. Not a hint. The full thingâbright and sharp and warm, baked into every fibre. His shampoo, his detergent, his skin.
It's everywhere. Surrounding you. Sinking into you.
You bring the collar up to your nose without thinking.
Inhale.
Fuck.
It smells like him. Like properly, unmistakably him. And it smells likeâ
That rainy day. Year 10. He was trying to impress Kenya Adebayo, walking next to her under the awning after school, doing that thing where he laughed too loud at everything she said.
But you were shivering behind them because you hadn't brought a jacket and the rain had come out of nowhere, and Kenya was cold too, and he'd looked between the two of you for exactly one second before pulling his hoodie off and shoving it at you.
Kenya had looked annoyed. You'd looked at the hoodie. He'd looked at you like it was obviousâlike there was never a question, not really.
He still smells like that. Like every stupid hoodie he ever lent you. Like yuzu and warmth and a decision he made before he even had to think about it.
You press your face deeper into the collar. Breathe in again. Slower. Let it fill your chest.
Your eyes drift to the mirror.
You're standing in Jung Hoseok's bathroom, wearing his oversized hoodie, face buried in the collar like a cat rubbing against its owner's scent to claim territory.
You jerk back so fast you nearly crack your head on the towel rack.
Are you actually insane? What are you doing? What is WRONG with you?
You drop the hoodie collar. Stand up very straight. Look yourself in the eye with the full force of your own contempt.
Embarrassing.
Right. You're staying over. That'sâthat's been established. It's late and you're tired and your shirt is ruined and you're not trekking back to Tennoji at this hour. So you might as well get comfortable.
You shimmy out of your work trousers. Fold them. Set them on top of the wet shirt.
Hoodie and bare legs. You look ridiculous. You look like every girl in every shojo manga Hoseok's ever made fun of.
Whatever. You need pants.
You open the bathroom door.
Hoseok's crouched by the coffee table, wiping up the ramen spill with paper towels. He's got three stacked in each hand, scrubbing at the table surface with way more focus than the task requires.
"Ott."
He doesn't look up. "Yep."
"Can you lend me some pants? Pyjama ones or whatever."
He looks up.
His mouth opens. Closes. Opens again.
His eyes land on your face. Drop. Snap back up. Drop againâto the hoodie, to where it ends at your thighs, to your bare legsâand then he's staring at the coffee table like it holds the secrets of the universe.
"Yep," he says again. Higher pitched this time. "Yep, yeah, sure, one secâ"
He stands. Trips over absolutely nothing. Catches himself on the back of the couch. Doesn't look at you as he disappears into his bedroom.
Comes back holding a pair of grey drawstring trackies at arm's length, eyes fixed on a spot approximately two metres to your left.
"Here."
"Cheers."
Back to the bathroom. Pants on. They're too long, pooling at your ankles, and you have to roll the waistband twice to keep them up.
His clothes. You're wearing his clothes. Head to toe. His hoodie, his pants, his scent wrapped around you likeâ
Stop. Stop it. Go sit on the couch and watch Cowboy Bebop like a normal person.
You walk back out.
Hoseok's sitting on the couch, fresh paper towels in hand, Bebop still playing. He's cleaned up the spill. He's also moved to the far end of the couch, which is notable, because this couch isn't big enough for âfar endsâ to mean anything.
You sit down. Tuck your legs under you again. Reach for the blanket.
Silence. Spike's on screen, being cool and damaged.
Your stomach growls.
Not a polite little rumble. A proper, full-bodied, I haven't eaten since that sabotaged ramen growl that seems to echo off the thin walls of his flat.
Hoseok's eyes slide towards you. His lips press together. You can see the grin fighting to break throughâthe way his cheek twitches, the way he bites the inside of his mouth.
"Don't," you warn.
"Didn't say anything."
"Your face is saying it."
"My face is innocent."
Your stomach growls again. Louder. Like it's making a point.
You look away. Tug the blanket higher. Study a very interesting spot on the wall.
"Do youâŠ" You clear your throat. "Have you got any⊠yubeshi? By any chance."
"No, Iâyeah, actually." He's already getting up, moving towards the kitchen. "I think there's some in theâyeah, hang on."
You pull the collar of his hoodie up over your nose.
Just because you're cold.
That's all.
âŠSure.
He rattles around in the kitchen for a bit, cupboard doors opening and closing, the fridge seal sucking and releasing.
Thereâs a muffled, triumphant âaha,â then the crinkle of plastic.
Momo watches you from the back of the couch, beady eyes unblinking. Judging. Obviously.
Hoseok comes back with a small plastic container in one hand and a fork in the otherâno plates, because of courseâand drops down next to you. The cushions dip under his weight, shoving you half a centimetre closer, not that thereâs anywhere else to go in a thirty-something square metre flat with furniture crammed into every available corner.
âTold you,â he says. âYubeshi delivery.â
He peels the lid back with his teeth. The smell hits firstâbright yuzu and chewy rice sweetness. Your stomach gives an embarrassingly enthusiastic lurch.
You lower the hoodie from your face, but keep the blanket tight, like youâre negotiating with the cold.
He spears a piece with the fork and holds it out, halfway between you.
You squint at it. âThatâs not how this works. Hand it over.â
âWhat, you donât trust my piloting skills?â He wiggles the fork. âSay âahâ.â
âAbsolutely not.â
He just keeps holding it there, eyes wide, fake-innocent.
âCome on,â Hoseok sing-songs. âOpen up. Be a goodââ
You glare.
He stops. Clears his throat. ââŠgood sport. Good friend. Completely normal friend.â
Still. Youâre tired, hungry, and the fork is right there.
You lean forward and take the piece straight off it, lips brushing metal, teeth closing down. The yubeshi is perfectâchewy, citrusy, sweet enough to make your eyes half-close for a second.
âMm.â
He looks unreasonably pleased with himself. âSee? Piloting. Ten out of ten accuracy.â
âCongratulations, you learned to aim a fork.â
He spears another piece. This time when he holds it out with his fingers, youâre already moving, not really thinking about it. Your eyes stay on the TV. You lean in, bite down.
Some of the glossy sauce smears over his fingers. You taste it as you pull back, tongue catching the last of it without really paying attention.
He withdraws his hand. You notice heâs still got a streak of syrup on his thumb.
Before your brain gets a chance to file any objections, you reach out, catch his wrist, and lean in again.
You donât think sexy. You donât think anything at all.
You just⊠lick. Dragging your tongue across the pad of his thumb, catching the citrus-sweet stickiness, cleaning him off like youâd do with your own hand if you couldnât be bothered to grab a napkin.
You let go, sit back, thumb of his hand slipping from between your fingers.
âMessy,â you mutter, more to yourself than to him, already chewing.
It takes a beat before you realise the roomâs gone weirdly quiet.
You look up.
Hoseok hasnât moved.
His eyes are half-lidded, fixed on his own thumb like itâs grown a second head. His lips are parted just a little. The tip of his tongue darts out to wet them, slow and unconscious.
He looks⊠dazed.
Your brain catches up with your body about five seconds late.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
You just licked his thumb.
Youâre about to mumble somethingâanythingâto brush it off when he finally drags his gaze away from his hand and up to you.
Then, gravel-rough, almost like the words sneak out past his filter, he murmurs, still looking at his thumb:
ââŠThink you missed a spot.â
The bottom drops out of your stomach.
Itâs not what he says so much as how he says itâlow, husky, like the line came straight from whatever part of his brain is currently not supervised by common sense. Like heâs talking to Miki, not you. Like this is a panel that should be shrink-wrapped and slapped with an 18+ sticker.
You stare at him.
Your heartbeat slams against your ribs, stupid and loud.
He realises what heâs just said a second too late. His eyes flick to yours, wide, like he wants to drag the sentence back into his mouth and swallow it whole.
You could laugh it off, call him a pervert, roll your eyes, tell him his brainâs made of hentai now.
You donât.
You feel your lashes lower, like theyâre heavy. Your mouth goes a little soft around the edges.
Fine, then.
If thatâs the game.
You turn slightly on the couch, angle your body towards him. The blanket slips down one shoulder. You reach out again, fingers closing gently around his wrist.
The pulse there jumps under your thumb.
You keep your eyes on his, steady. Try on that look youâve practiced for Miki in the mirror, the one that lives somewhere between bored and hungry.
âThis spot?â you ask, voice coming out lower than you meant.
You bring his hand closer, slow. His gaze tracks the movement like heâs powerless not to.
Your tongue meets his skin again, this time careful. You drag the tip along the inside edge of his thumb, where the knuckle meets the pad. Thereâs barely any syrup left. Doesnât matter. You trace there anyway, like youâre following the outline of something important.
His breath stutters, tiny hitch in his chest, air seems to catch halfway out.
You keep going. Just once, maybe twice. Then you pull back, releasing his hand, and lick your own lips slowly, chasing the lingering sweetness.
Like a cat cleaning its mouth after stealing cream.
His eyes stay locked on your mouth the entire time. His knees draw in a fraction, like his bodyâs trying to fold around something. The fork wobbles in his other hand.
He exhales, shaky.
âThat wasââ
He cuts himself off, jaw flexing. Looks away so abruptly itâs almost comical, like if he doesnât find a neutral object in the room to stare at immediately, heâs going to combust.
Momo picks that exact moment to chitter, a scolding little sound from the back of the couch.
Hoseok practically flinches.
âOh. Right. Yeah. Momo.â His voice jumps an octave, veers hard into flustered. âUhâsheâshe wants attention. Thatâs her âyouâre ignoring me, peasantâ noise.â
He turns, very intentionally away from you, and reaches back to scritch gently under her chin. Momo leans into it, offended dignity forgot for the sake of head scratches.
You breathe. Try to get your heart back under control. Act normal. The hoodie suddenly feels too warm, too close. You wish the couch would open up and swallow you.
He focuses on Momo like sheâs a lifeline. âJealous, huh? Yeah, yeah, I know, youâre the real star here.â
Itâs absurdly transparent.
You could call him on it.
You donât.
Youâre too busy pretending your tongue didnât just have Opinions about his skin.
After a moment, he drops back against the cushions, shoulders sinking a little.
You clear your throat. âSo.â
âSo,â he echoes.
Cowboy Bebop continues to play to absolutely no audience.
You grab for the nearest safe topic like youâre scrambling for a handhold.
âBy the way.â You nudge his thigh with your knee under the blanket. âI told my lot about you today.â
He frowns. âYour⊠lot?â
âWork idiots. Yuki, Amelie, Brianna, Adao.â You roll your eyes. âTheyâre obsessed with meeting you and Yoongi now. Apparently the âgolden retrieverâ and the âcat-looking bartenderâ made quite an impression.â
He blinks. âWait, what?â
You sigh. âWe were talking about going out tomorrow. Amelie lost her mind when Adao mentioned âMr Kimâ. She wants him there so badly itâs getting embarrassing.â
Hoseok laughs, the tension in his shoulders loosening a notch.
You shift, tucking your feet under you, blanket slipping so your bare toes brush his thigh through his jeans.
You try to pretend you donât notice the contact.
Your skin sure as hell does.
âSo,â you continue, âweâre doing a group thing, probably. Drinks or I donât know, whatever they decide. You should come. Bring Yoongi. Let them drool over him in person instead of through my horror stories.â
âTrauma dump?â he protests. âYou make it sound like Iâd bring you to Midnight Keys for exposure therapy.â
âYouâre totally the type to bring me there to bully me into karaoke.â
âThat too.â
He thinks about it, chewing the inside of his cheek.
âYoongi hates meeting new people.â
âBrianna and Amelie arenât people, theyâre forces of nature. Heâll be fine.â
Hoseok snorts. âYeah, thatâs what Iâm afraid of.â
âCome on.â You bump his leg again. âItâs not like youâve got a packed social calendar. Freelance hentai man, remember? My coworkers could be your pens.â
âRude.â He pretends to be offended. âIâll have you know Iâm very in demand.â
âBy printers and deadlines.â
âAnd you,â he points out. âYou keep showing up like a bad smell.â
You sniff dramatically. âThatâs the ramen.â
He laughs, softer this time.
Then, he nods. âOkay. Yeah. Iâll drag Yoongi. Heâll secretly enjoy himself. Thatâs his whole brand.â
You file away the way he says âyeahââno hesitation. No âif Iâm freeâ. Just assumes heâll be there if you are.
Warmth curls low in your chest that has nothing to do with yubeshi.
The show rolls into another episode. You shift again, resettling. The couch springs squeak. The blanket rustles.
His thigh is a steady line of heat along your calves now.
Japanese filters through the speakersâSpike talking, Faye snapping back. You catch scattered words; your brainâs too tired to string them together.
Thank god for English subtitles.
Formal meetings are one thing; slang in anime is another.
Hoseok chuckles at something on-screen.
You tilt your head, watch his profile more than the show. âYou always understand all of that?â
He shrugs. âMost of it. Some of itâs old slang. But yeah.â
âYouâre so fucking lucky,â you grumble. âI sit in meetings that are supposed to be only in English all day catching, like, thirty percent and guessing the rest.â
âYouâre doing fine.â
âIâm doing barely not drowning. Not the same.â You roll your eyes. âYou switch between languages like itâs nothing. Itâs disgusting, actually.â
âWow. Thank you.â
âDonât get a big head.â You hesitate, then let the next bit slip out before you can overthink it. âItâs⊠kind of hot, though.â
Silence.
You realise what youâve just said a beat too late.
You feel him go still beside you. Not visibly, not if you werenât pressed this close, but you are. Every muscle seems to pause.
ââŠWhat?â he says.
You focus very intently on the TV. âThe Japanese. When you talk. Itâsâwhatever. Forget it.â
He doesnât forget it.
âYou think itâs⊠hot,â he repeats, like heâs testing the shape of the word in his mouth.
You wish the cushion would smother you.
âItâs justââ You wave a hand, vague. âBrain stuff. Bilingual. Itâs a thing.â
âBrain stuff,â he echoes faintly.
You risk a glance up.
Heâs looking at you with pink ears and a parted mouth.
ââŠReally?â he asks, quiet.
You swallow. âDonât make it weird.â
âIâm not making itââ He breaks off, laughs under his breath, helpless. Rubs the back of his neck. âJustâno oneâs called my Japanese hot before.â
âPlenty of people probably have,â you mutter. âYou just werenât paying attention.â
âTrust me,â he says dryly, âIâd remember.â
You stifle a yawn. It still escapes, jaw cracking.
Your eyelids feel heavy. The dayâs weight catches up all at onceâthe restructure announcement, the report, your mumâs text youâre pointedly ignoring, the thumb situation, of all things.
Your body decides unilaterally that itâs done.
âTired?â he asks.
âNo,â you lie, words slurring just a little.
He gives you that look. The one that says heâs known you since you had braces and a bad fringe; you canât bluff him.
Without comment, he shifts, stretching one leg out along the couch, bending the other.
Then he pats his thigh twice, casual.
âCâmere,â he says. âHead.â
You stare. âWhat?â
âPillow upgrade.â He pats his leg again like heâs summoning a cat. âCouch is lumpy.â
âThatâs your fault for buying it off the side of the road.â
âAnd yet you keep sleeping on it.â
âThatâs because Iâm poor, not because itâs comfy.â
He just looks at you, patient. Hand still resting on his thigh, palm up now, like an invitation.
You hesitate.
Itâs stupid. Itâs him. Youâve sprawled all over each other before. Back when you were both idiots and the world was smaller and simpler.
âTake the damn pillow, Capy,â he says softly. âYouâre falling over.â
You huff. âIf your leg goes numb, Iâm not helping.â
âSuch compassion.â
You ease sideways under the blanket, twisting your body until you can lower your head carefully onto his lap. One arm folds under your chest; the other rests loosely against your stomach.
His thigh is soft under your cheek. You can feel the shift of his muscles as he adjusts, making space for you, spreading his knees just enough to cradle the weight of your head comfortably.
A hand hovers above your hair, uncertain.
Then his fingers settle gently against your scalp, just behind your ear. Slow, exploratory strokes.
Not really a massage, not quite a pat.
More likeâ
âWhy are you petting me like a cat?â you mumble into his hoodie.
He scoffs. âBecause youâre basically one now.â
You make a low, unimpressed noise. âSpeciesist.â
âMiki,â he elaborates, thumb tracing idle circles against your skull. âCat-girl. Ears. Tail. Full transformation. This is just method acting.â
âYouâre an idiot.â
âMm.â
His fingers keep moving, scratching lightly at your scalp, nails just enough to drag, not enough to hurt. It sends these little lines of warmth down the back of your neck, through your shoulders. Your body loosens by degrees, tension bleeding out into the cushions.
âYou know,â he says after a while, quieter, âitâs not just a cat thing.â
You crack one eye open. âWhat?â
âAunt Pat told me,â he continues, voice going soft around her name. âBack in Year 11. When you got that flu and disappeared for a week.â
You remember that. Fever, aching joints, the world shrinking to your bedroom and the shape of the bucket beside your bed.
You also remember him turning up at your door almost every day with homework and stupid comics. Sitting on the floor because your aunt wouldnât let him too close in case he caught it.
âShe said sheâd been doing this since you were tiny,â he goes on, fingers threading slowly through your hair now, careful not to tug. âSaid it helps you sleep.â
You want to argue. You donât. Your body is already betraying you, sinking heavier against him, eyelids drooping.
âTraitor,â you tell your own brain.
He huffs a laugh. His hand moves to the crown of your head, fingertips pressing in small, firm circles. Itâs⊠embarrassingly good. The right kind of pressure, not too light, not ticklish. Enough to ground you without setting off your nerves.
âFigured Iâd try it,â he says softly. âBack then. âCause you looked⊠wrecked. Thought maybe if it worked when you were five, itâd work when you were sixteen.â
âDid it?â you mumble.
âYeah.â His palm smooths down, thumb tracing the curve of your skull. âYou passed out sitting up. Scared the shit out of me. Aunt Pat just laughed and said, âSee? Told you.ââ
You can picture it. Aunt Pat at the doorway, fond and tired, watching this lanky teenage boy tentative behind you, hand in your hair.
The thought punches something loose in your chest.
âHelps me too, you know,â he says after a while, like heâs talking more to your hair than to you. âWhen youâre here.â
You make a questioning noise. Or try to. It comes out more like a sleepy hum.
âSleeping.â His fingers pause, then resume, a little self-conscious now. âI sleep better. When youâre on the couch. Or the futon. Just⊠in the flat.â
Dangerous words, said in the soft, late-night register that makes everything feel truer.
You want to crack a joke. Tell him thatâs pathetic. That he should get a hobby. That you snore and itâs probably just white noise.
Your mouth doesnât cooperate.
âSame,â you hear yourself mumble. It slips out, unguarded, half-submerged. âDonât like⊠empty flat.â
His hand stills for a heartbeat.
Then he resumes the rhythm, slower now.
âYeah,â he says quietly. âI know.â
Your bodyâs already gone heavy-limbed and useless. The hoodie smells like yuzu and him, the blanket like detergent and old ink. His thigh is warm under your cheek, solid, anchoring you to this ridiculous, cramped little couch in this ridiculous, cramped little Osaka flat that somehow feels more like home than your own bed.
Your thoughts start to fray at the edges. Words blur. The room tilts in that soft way that means gravityâs winning.
His fingers card through your hair once more, smoothing it back from your forehead.
âGo to sleep, Capy,â he murmurs.
You mean to tell him to piss off.
You donât.
if you liked this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee!! â„'ï»'â„ https://ko-fi.com/jungkoode
the way kiki doesnât have a single BAD fic for any of the members like you can be anybody biased kikiâs gonna have you well fed??? do you understand how insane that is. god made earth a living hell and then sent kiki as an apology
â§ main story â§ wc: 11,4k â§ pairing: hoseok x f!reader â§ rating: 18+
â§ genre: Osaka AU, hentai mangaka!hobi, smut, slow burn, cf2l
đ± rundown ;
"You never expected to say meow to him.
He never expected to like it."
He looks⊠dazed.
Your brain catches up with your body about five seconds late.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
You just licked his thumb.
Youâre about to mumble somethingâanythingâto brush it off when he finally drags his gaze away from his hand and up to you.
Then, gravel-rough, almost like the words sneak out past his filter, he murmurs, still looking at his thumb:
ââŠThink you missed a spot.â
The bottom drops out of your stomach.
Itâs not what he says so much as how he says itâlow, husky, like the line came straight from whatever part of his brain is currently not supervised by common sense.
Like heâs talking to Miki, not you.
Like this is a panel that should be shrink-wrapped and slapped with an 18+ sticker.
Your heartbeat slams against your ribs, stupid and loud.
He realises what heâs just said a second too late. His eyes flick to yours, wide, like he wants to drag the sentence back into his mouth and swallow it whole.
You could laugh it off, call him a pervert, roll your eyes, tell him his brainâs made of hentai now.
You donât.
You feel your lashes lower, like theyâre heavy. Your mouth goes a little soft around the edges.
Fine, then.
If thatâs the game.
You turn slightly on the couch, angle your body towards him. The blanket slips down one shoulder. You reach out again, fingers closing gently around his wrist.
The pulse there jumps under your thumb.
You keep your eyes on his, steady. Try on that look youâve practiced for Miki in the mirror, the one that lives somewhere between bored and hungry.
âThis spot?â you ask, voice coming out lower than you meant.
Your tongue meets his skin again, dragging the tip along the inside edge of his thumb, where the knuckle meets the pad.
â Coming: When we reach 40 votes on ch 8 on Wattpad. <3
Two years after your husbandâs death, you receive a gift from your family: an android version of him, programmed to help you process grief. But Jungkook had secretsâand so did you. And no one warned the machine what love looks like when itâs wilted, when itâs already buried. Not every resurrection is a miracle.
"Valis Core calls it formalwear. You call it public humiliation. Namjoon calls it 'proper presentation parameters,' because of course the man can sexualize tailoring and still sound like a technical manual."
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âŠauthor's note : Surprise drop of the day! I know. 'Kiki, what the fuck, itâs a random Wednesday. I just got off work. I have responsibilities.' Thatâs cute. I donât care. Here are 12k words of Namjoon being a condescending, sexually repressed, culturally insufferable menace. Youâre welcome. Society may be collapsing, but at least he has cheekbones and a superiority complex.
The reason for this sudden generosity? I spent the entire day moping because I thought I had lost all chance of getting the denim jacket from the CKJK collection, and then whoever is up there heard me threatening to become genuinely unbearable and delivered one directly into my Zalando app. I got it. I am happy. And when I am happy, I give back to the community. Unfortunately for you, my love language is psychological damage wrapped in worldbuilding and sexual tension. So you know what that means, right? Thatâs right. Give me 29393939303 notes so I keep producing content. Exploit the system. Feed the algorithm. Do your civic duty. Jungkook would want this. Probably. I donât know, donât ask him.
Okay, on an actual writing note, letâs talk about this chapter. This chapter⊠pfft. Yeah. We are getting into it. First off, scene one is chefâs kiss to me because I really wanted to play with cultural clash. What reads as obscene to one culture can read as elegant, proper, and even refined to another, and that is one of my favourite things to explore in this fic. And Namjoon, of course, makes it worse. Because that man has never encountered a situation he couldnât improve by being technically correct and emotionally unbearable.
Scene two introduces someone very interesting, and we get a little more lore around Namjoon, the Consortium, and the delightful nightmare that is Valis Core politics. Also, yes, the sexual tension is once again trying to climb the walls. These two want to kill each other so badly they also want to fuck each other just as badly, and honestly? Efficient. Horrible. Very on brand.
And then scene three⊠Scene three is where I really wanted to start digging into the codependency. Not the cute kind. Not the 'aww, they miss each other' kind. The awful, biological, violating kind where your body starts treating your enemy like a stabilising force before your brain has given consent. Separation anxiety from your mortal enemy? Tell me that isnât one of the best tropes ever invented. Iâll wait. Actually, no, I wonât. Iâm right. I also slipped in some worldbuilding there because this fic is basically my worldbuilding guinea pig and I refuse to be ashamed about it. Fauna, flora, culture, rituals, biologyâeverything in Veyrah is going to get progressively weirder, meaner, and more fun. The Oranen? Horrible little bridge beast. I support them. From a distance. Behind glass. With paperwork.
And the way Namjoon chases her⊠Well. Iâll let you read that part yourselves.
Enjoy the chapter, my little gremlins. Drink water, like and reblog if you enjoyed, and remember: if a man adjusts your dress while explaining cultural formalwear standards, he may be your narrative problem.
They dress you like merchandise.
That's the only word for itâmerchandise. Like you're some high-value item being prepped for auction, wrapped up pretty so the Consortium elite can admire what their precious Algorithm pulled from the fucking gutter.
The dress is obscene.
Not in the Hollow Crest way, where skin showing means freedom of movement. This is Valiskan obsceneâexposure designed to make you look available while maintaining plausible deniability about intent.
The fabric is something called starweaveâactual crystalline threading woven into midnight silk that catches light and throws it back in fragmented patterns.
It clings. Everywhere.
From the high collar that wraps your throat, down over your chest where the material goes sheer enough to suggest rather than conceal, then pools at your hips before splitting in a slit that runs up to mid-thigh.
Your back is completely exposed. Just bare skin from neck to the base of your spine, where the fabric finally deigns to exist again.
The color is deep indigoâValis Core's signature shadeâshot through with silver threading that forms patterns you don't recognize. Probably some cultural significance you're supposed to understand but don't because you're not actually from here.
You're just wearing their colors like a fucking flag.
"Stop fidgeting," Tara snaps from behind you.
You bare your teeth at the mirror. "Stop touching me."
"I'm adjusting." Her hands yank at the back of the dress, pulling it lower. Making more skin visible. "If you'd stand still for five secondsâ"
"If you pull that any lower, my entire ass is gonna be out."
"The design requires proper positioningâ"
"The design requires me to look like a whore." You twist away from her grip. "What's next, you gonna paint my tits and call it formal wear?"
Tara's mouth flattens. "You should be grateful Commander Kim selected something tasteful. The original design was far more revealing."
"Oh, fantastic. He picked the modest prostitute look instead of the ambitious one."
"You're being vulgarâ"
"I'm being honest."
You gesture at the mirror. At the way the dress makes you look like some Valis Core fantasy of what a matched partner should be.
Polished. Displayed.Â
Claimed.
"This entire thing is political theater, and I'm the prop."
"You're the match." Tara moves around you, assessing with critical eyes that make your skin itch. "100% compatibility. Unprecedented pairing. Of course they want to showcaseâ"
"Showcase. Right. That's a nice word for 'parade around like a trained animal.'"
She stops. Actually looks at you for the first time since this whole nightmare started.
And something in her expression shifts. Hardens.
"I can't believe someone like you got matched to Commander Kim."
You meet her eyes in the mirror.
She looks Valiskanâthe height, the bone structure, the pale skin that screams Core genetics.
Everything about her reads pure bloodline. Proper. Acceptable.
Everything you're not.
"Yeah?" Your voice drops. "Well, neither can I. But here we are."
"You should be honored," she continues, and there's real bitterness threading through now. "Do you have any idea how many would kill to be in your position?"
"Yeah? Name one."
"Me." Her hands move to the dress again, yanking. "I would. Any of us would be grateful forâ"
"For what?" You twist away from her grip. "For being matched to the architect of the death lottery? For getting dressed up so Consortium elite can admire the Algorithm's latest science project?"
"You don't deserve himâ"
"You're right. I don't." You step closer. "I deserve to gut him. Slowly. While you watch."
Her face goes white. Then red. Then she's grabbing the dress again, yanking the fabric with enough force that you stumble.
"Stopâ"
"The back needs to sit properlyâ"
"I said stopâ"
Your hand shoots out. Swats hers away sharper than intended, harder.
And her eyes flash.
Not violet. Not the pure Valis purple you've been seeing everywhere since you got dragged to Core.
Red.
You freeze.
Because you know that glint. Youâve seen it in Jungkookâs eyes. Youâve seen it plenty in your childhood. Know exactly what it means.
Mournwell.
She's Mournwell.
Or half, at least. Enough that her eyes betray her under stress. Enough that she's been hiding it behind Valiskan features and proper behavior andâ
"Tara."
You both freeze.
Namjoon stands in the doorway.
And fuckâ
He looksâ
Your brain stutters. Reroutes. Tries to process what you're seeing and fails because your body's already responding in ways you absolutely hate.
He's wearing formal Consortium attire. Not the standard tactical gear. Actual formal wear.
The jacket is structuredâsharp lines and geometric weaves that emphasize his shoulders and height. Black base fabric with indigo accents that catch light like liquid, threaded with what looks like actual starlight. Platinum clasps at the collar and cuffs, engraved with symbols you don't recognize but that probably mean something hierarchical.
The pants fit. Really fit. Enough that you can see the way his thighs shift when he moves, the way fabric outlines muscle andâ
Stop it.
His hair is styled back from his face, revealing the white streak fully. Making those purple eyes even more pronounced against pale skin that seems to glow.
He looks like authority.
Like power.
Like everything you've spent your life learning to destroy.
"Commander Kim." Tara's voice shifts immediately. Respectful. She folds her left arm behind her backâValiskan sign of deferenceâand bows her head slightly. "The match is nearly prepared."
"The match has a name," you mutter.
Namjoon's gaze shifts to you.
Andâ
He stops.
Just for a second. Maybe less.
But you catch it. The way his eyes track down your body then back up. The way his pupils dilate just enough to be visible.
Then he blinks. Recalibrates. Expression smoothing back to neutral like nothing happened.
"Tara," he says, and his voice carries warmth you didn't know he was capable of. "Take some time off. Your duties have been executed excellently."
Tara blinks. "But Commander, the styling isn't completeâ"
"It's sufficient." He tilts his head slightly. Almost... gentle. "You've worked three rotations without rest. The preparation halls can function without you for one Wane."
"I should stay to ensureâ"
"Tara."
It's not harsh. But itâs firm.
"Rest."
Her mouth opens. Closes.
Then she nods, that red glint flickering in her eyes again before she gathers her supplies with quick movements and exits through the side door.
Leaving you alone with him.
In a room full of mirrors that show every angle of how exposed you are in this fucking dress.
Namjoon doesn't move from the doorway. Just stands there, one hand resting on a tablet, attention seemingly fixed on the screen.
Not looking at you.
Which pisses you off more than staring would.
"Something wrong, Warden?" You turn, letting the slit in the dress expose your leg fully. "Not what you ordered?"
"It's appropriate."
"Appropriate for what? A brothel?"
His mouth curves. Barely. "For a formal Consortium gathering. Which you are required to attend."
"Required to attend dressed likeâ" You gesture at yourself. "Like this?"
"Yes."
"And if I refuse?"
"You won't."
The certainty in his voice makes your hands curl into fists.
Because he's right. You canât afford to refuse.
"What are you doing here?" you demand. "Thought formal preparation was supposed to be communal. Where's your bonding circle or whatever the fuck Valiskans do?"
"Completed earlier." He glances at the tablet screen, thumb moving across the interface. "I'm conducting final security review for tonight's attendee list."
"Of course you are."
You should leave him alone. Should finish whatever preparation bullshit is expected and get this nightmare evening over with.
Instead you move closer.
He's tall enough that even standing right next to him, you can't see the tablet screen properly. You rise onto your toes, leaning in to get a better angleâ
The movement brings you into his personal space.
Close enough to smell winter storms and that particular snowy scent that accompanies him everywhere.
His posture shifts. Subtle adjustment that might be awareness or might be discomfort.
You peer at the screen.
Guest list. Names in Altsprek with Consortium designation codes. Approximately forty attendees authorized for tonight's celebration. Security clearance levels noted beside each entry.
Namjoon's hand hovers over one name.
Your eyes catch it just before his thumb moves.
Kim Seokjin - Clearance Level 6 - Independent Contractor
There's a pause. Maybe half a second where his thumb just... stops. Hovering over the entry like he's reconsidering.
Then he swipes.
The name gets flagged. Moved to the unauthorized column.
Crossed off the guest list.
"Old friend?" you ask quietly.
His gaze stays on the screen. "Old nothing."
His tongue clicks against the roof of his mouth. Dismissive.
The sound hits you like a backhandânot because it hurts, but because of what it means. That tiny, involuntary noise Valiskans make when somethingâs beneath their attention. When a question doesnât even warrant the energy of a proper deflection.
He just tskâd you.
Like youâre a child pulling at his sleeve.
âRight,â you say, voice going flat. âOld nothing. Thatâs why your thumb hovered for three seconds before you crossed him off.â
âMy thumb hovered because the interface lagged.â He doesnât look up. âConsortium networks experience latency spikes during high-security event preparation. If you understood basic systems architecture, youâd know that.â
âRight. Latency spike. On a local device running a cached guest list.â You tilt your head. âMust be a real shit network youâve built if it canât handle a swipe function.â
His jaw shifts. Barely.
Good.
âYour technical knowledge,â he says slowly, still staring at the tablet, âis impressive for someone who learned systems theory from smuggled data chips in mining tunnels. But itâs still mining tunnel knowledge. It has limitations youâre not equipped to identify.â
Your nails bite into your palms.
âFunny. My mining tunnel knowledge has cost your program six months of research data, four compromised facilities, andâwhat was itâforty-three confirmed casualties?â You smile. All teeth. âHow many casualties has your Valis Core education produced, Warden? Oh, wait. You donât count those. You call them necessary sacrifices for optimal biological continuation.â
He sets the tablet down, places it face-down on the surface beside him, aligns its edge with the tableâs cornerâperfectly parallelâthen folds his hands behind his back.
And looks at you.
âYou have food in your teeth,â he says.
You blink.
âWhat?â
âProtein residue. Left canine.â He turns back to the tablet. âYou might want to address that before the gathering.â
Your tongue sweeps your teeth immediatelyâautomatic, furiousâand finds nothing. Nothing.
He lied.
The fucker lied to make you check.
To make you care about something as stupid as your appearance in front of him, even for half a second.
And you fell for it.
âCute,â you manage, but the word comes out strangled.
He smiles thenâthat thin, polished little curve of his mouth that looks almost courteous until you catch whatâs underneath it. Satisfaction. Amusement. The private kind. The kind that says he knows exactly where he cut and is pleased with the depth.
He scrolls again, maddeningly calm. âYou spent four minutes explaining why I should fear your tactical record. I negated the entire performance with six words.â
âYou mean you lied.â
âI mean I redirected.â
You stare at the side of his face. âGod, you are such a smug piece of shit.â
His expression does not change, which only makes the faint menace in it worse. âAnd yet your pulse accelerated.â
âBecause murder is cardio.â
âMm.â
That little sound. That tiny, infuriating hum of acknowledgment.
Then his gaze lifts. His eyes travel from your shoulder to the exposed line of your spine, down to where the dress still sits higher than Tara wanted, clinging over the upper swell of your ass instead of dipping low enough to bare it the way she kept insisting it should.
âYour styling remains incomplete,â he says mildly.
You bark out a laugh. âOh, now you care?â
âI cared when I entered the room. I merely deprioritized it in favor of security review.â
âYou mean in favor of being annoying.â
He glances at you. âIf that is what you want to call it.â
You scoff.
He tilts his head toward your reflection. âThe back should sit lower.â
Your spine stiffens. âNo.â
His gaze returns to the mirror. âYes.â
âItâs already indecent.â
And thatâfinallyâactually gets a reaction.
Surprise.
His brows shift by a fraction. His head turns slightly, properly regarding you now like youâve just informed him gravity works differently in Hollow Crest.
âIndecent,â he repeats.
âYes, indecent,â you snap. âYou want my whole ass out for state dinner.â
âYour entire ass would not be out.â
âAnatomically generous distinction.â
âIt would rest at the superior curve,â he says, in that maddeningly measured tone. âWhich is the intended line.â
âThe intended line is vulgar.â
This time he blinks.
Actually blinks.
Then his mouth parts just slightly, and when he speaks again there is the faintest edge of genuine disbelief under all that perfect control. âVulgar?â
You throw your hands out. âYes, vulgar.â
âThat,â he says carefully, âis not considered vulgar.â
âIn your weird nightmare city maybeââ
âIn Valis Core,â he cuts in, turning fully toward you now, âselective exposure through structural draping and sheer layering is associated with rank, wealth, and formal aesthetic literacy.â
You stare at him.
He keeps going, because of course he does, as though explaining a theorem to a stubborn child.
âVisible skin is not inherently sexualized here. Improper presentation is.â His eyes drop meaningfully to the back of the dress. âThis reads unfinished.â
You laugh once. Sharp. âUnfinished.â
âYes.â
âBecause Iâm not showing enough ass?â
He pauses.
Then, with absolute seriousness: âCorrect.â
For one full second the room goes silent.
Then you huff out a disbelieving breath. âYou cannot be a real person.â
âI am unfortunately well-documented.â
âYouâre telling me if I walk into this event with the back where it is now, people are gonna think Iâm underdressed because they canât see the beginning of my ass crack?â
His expression stays serenely composed. âThey will think your tailoring was mishandled.â
âThat is psychotic.â
âThat is cultural differences.â
You glare at him in the mirror. âYou just want something worth looking at.â
His pupils shift. Tiny. Immediate.
But his voice stays smooth. âThe dress was selected for match appeal.â
âOh my god.â
âYou asked.â
âYou are unbelievable.â
âAnd you are resisting on the basis of a social code that does not apply in this sector.â
You spin to face him. âYou donât get to talk to me like Iâm a malfunctioning display unit.â
He considers you for a beat, then says with infuriating calm, âNo. A display unit would have followed specification by now.â
The righteous little shit. Standing there in his immaculate formalwear pretending this is all objective, all polite, all proper, while every word lands like a calculated flick to the forehead.
You look at the mirror again. At the dress. At the high line of the back.
Fine.
Fine.
You hook your fingers at the sides and tug it down a fraction.
The silk slides over your skin.
Too much. Too exposed. Already wrong.
âThere,â you say flatly. âHappy?â
His tongue clicks.
You hate that sound on sight now.
âNo.â
You freeze. âNo?â
âNo.â
He walks toward you.
One step. Two.
You should move.
You donât.
Because retreat would mean yielding ground and you are absolutely not giving him that satisfaction, even as every nerve under your skin starts sparking from his approach.
He stops behind you.
Your eyes lift to the mirror.
His are already on you there.
âSince this is apparently beyond your skill set,â he says softly, âhold still.â
âDonâtââ
His hands do not go to your waist.
That would have been easier.
Instead his thumbs brush the line where the fabric meets your lower back, barely touching skin, just enough to make your breath hitch with pure unwilling reflex. Then one hand steadies the silk at your hip while the other slides beneath the back edge.
Your whole body locks.
His finger dips under the fabric, knuckle grazing the top of your ass.
âNamjoonââ
âCommander Kim,â he corrects automatically, and the bastard sounds almost absentminded about it, like heâs more focused on the dress than on the fact that he has his hand under it.
Then he leans in.
Not enough to press against you. Not enough to give you anything as crude as contact. Just enough that his mouth is near your ear, his breath a cool thread against your skin.
âIf this garment is intended to appeal to your match,â he murmurs, âit should, at minimum, be permitted to do its job.â
And then he pulls.
Slowly.
Slow enough that you feel every fraction of movement as the crystalline silk glides downward over your lower back. Slow enough that the room seems to narrow to that single point of contact, that single deliberate drag, until the dress settles exactly where Tara wanted it all alongâright at the top of the curve, skimming the first revealed line of cleft, baring the upper round of your cheeks in a way that feels less naked than curated.
Presented.
Elegant, by Valiskan standards.
Obscene, by yours.
His hand stills there for one suspended second, the other thumb flattening the fabric as if testing the line for symmetry.
In the mirror, his face is composed.
Too composed.
But his eyes are not.
Thereâs a darkness in them now, low and intent and very, very aware. Not the flat observation from before. Not the bored cruelty of his little lie. This is attention. Controlled within an inch of its life, but attention all the same.
The same way, you realize in one sick hot flash, his own clothes were chosen for you.
The jacket cut to sharpen him. The fitted lines. The exposed throat above the clasp.
His, for your appeal.
Yours, for his.
You hate that understanding on contact.
He straightens. Leans back just enough to put an intolerable inch of air between you.
âThere,â he says.
Your voice comes out hoarse. âI canât believe this shit.â
âWell,â he says, gaze still fixed on the mirror. âThis is merely correct.â
You swallow. Hard. âYou put your hand under my dress.â
âI adjusted consortium-issued formalwear to proper presentation parameters.â
âYou put your hand under my dress,â you repeat.
âAnd you attempted the correction incorrectly.â
That calm, immaculate tone. That little edge of superiority so clean it could cut glass.
You turn on him fast enough that the skirt sways around your legs. âYou could have just told me.â
âI did.â
âYou could have told me withoutââ You gesture helplessly at your own lower back. âWithout being like that.â
He tilts his head. âLike what?â
You hate him.
You hate him.
You hate the composed blankness of his face when the corners of his mouth are still threatening that awful private smile.
âSmug.â
âI was precise.â
âPatronizing.â
âYou were incorrect.â
âInsufferable.â
âThat one,â he says, âis subjective.â
âYou really think this makes me appealing?â
He looks at you then. Fully. No dodging. No fake attention to the tablet. His gaze drags once over the new line of the dress, the bare reveal of skin, the shape of you in indigo and silver and Consortium colors you never asked to wear.
And that tiny, mean little smile returns.
âNow,â he says, voice low and devastatingly polite, âyou at least appear as though you made an effort.â
The urge that rises in you is immediate, bright, and absurdly clarifying.
Not to slap him.
Not to scream.
Not even to stab him.
Just to smile sweetly through the entire cursed evening and find something fatal to slip into his drink before the nectar course.
Namjoon does not concern himself with trivialities.
This is not arrogance, merely allocationâcognitive bandwidth directed where it yields measurable return. Social performance at Consortium formal events yields very little. Structured chaos dressed in starweave and platinum, where every handshake conceals a negotiation and every toast carries enough subtext to warrant decryption software.
He has attended enough of these to predict behavioral patterns at 92.36% accuracy.
The remaining 7.64% belongs almost entirely to Daltrey.
Eris Daltrey, Commander of Hollow Crest. Level 9. The woman operates on a frequency Namjoon has never successfully mappedânot for lack of data, but because the data itself seems to shift each time he collects it. She contradicts her own patterns with a consistency that borders on tactical artistry. Cruel when mercy would serve her better. Merciful when cruelty would cost her nothing. He has known her since he was young enough that parental faces have since degraded to pixel-level recall in his memory, and she has not become easier to read in the intervening years.
He respects her. Obligatorily. Level 9 authority demands it regardless of personal assessment.
But he'd rather not greet her tonight. Not yet. Not until he has surveyed enough of the room to calculate which conversational angle she'll deploy first.
So his gaze drifts. Tracks perimeter. Catalogs attendees by threat tier and utility index.
Then stops.
You.
Twenty minutes. You have stayed within three meters of his position for twenty consecutive minutes, and Namjoon is still recalibrating why.
He'd projected immediate dispersal. Escape velocity the moment you crossed the thresholdâa straight line toward the nearest blind spot in the surveillance grid, which you'd identify within forty seconds based on your documented pattern recognition capabilities. He had even pre-mapped your probable evasion routes (four viable, two optimal, one you'd choose because it would annoy him most).
None of them executed.
Instead, you remain. Close. Not beside himânever beside him, nothing so cooperativeâbut adjacent. Orbiting at a distance that reads deliberate rather than obedient.
Strange.
Not the compliance itself. He's witnessed compliance before. Forced, pharmaceutical, structural. This is none of those. This is something else, something closer to that quality he has observed in you across years of operational conflictâthe way you collide with obstacles head-first rather than routing around them.
You don't evade problems. You bite into them until your teeth hit bone.
He has always found that particular traitâŠ
The word he needs is annoying. He selects it. Confirms it. Logs it.
Annoying.
Specifically when directed at his databases. His encrypted servers. His operational infrastructure that you dismantled as if pulling apart a child's puzzle.
But standing here now, with the Consortium hall pressing its architecture around youâvaulted ceilings carved from Valis basalt, atmospheric aurora channeled through crystalline panels overhead, casting the room in shifting indigo and silverâhe finds that the trait does not grate the way it once did.
It simply⊠exists. Documented. Filed. Permitted to remain without the usual annotation flagging it for behavioral correction.
Irrelevant observation. He moves on.
The dress, however, is not irrelevant.
He did not select it personally. Did not specify parameters or state preferences. But the Consortium's profiling systems are thoroughâthe same databases that track population heat cycles, rut schedules, genetic compatibility indices, behavioral mapping. They would have cross-referenced. Extrapolated. Delivered a result optimized for match appeal based on his logged responses to visual stimuli across years of accumulated data.
The result is effective.
He permits himself that word. Effective. Clinical. Appropriate for the assessment being conducted.
The starweave catches every source of ambient light in the hall, fragmenting it across the crystalline threading until the fabric itself seems to pulse with its own luminescence. Against your skin, the effect becomes something else entirely. The sheer panelsâcalculated transparency, neither concealing nor fully revealingâallow the faintest trace of your chromatophores to surface. Bioluminescent markers that shift in the dimming light as Wane approaches, catching blue along the pathways of your veins where Valiskan genetics assert themselves beneath the warmer sienna pigmentation of Crester heritage.
Two bloodlines in visible conflict on the same canvas.
He has reviewed your genetic profile. Knows the percentages. The markers. The exact ratio of Core to Crest expression in your cellular architecture.
Seeing it, though, is different from knowing it.
The way your collarbones catch indigo. The way the silver threading follows the line of your exposed spine and the light trapped in the weave mirrors the faint luminescence pulsing just beneath your skin. The way the fabric sits at your lower back exactly where he positioned it an hour ago, the superior curve exposed in accordance with Valiskan formal convention.
Effective.
He has already used that word. He notes the repetition. Does not correct it.
He almost considers approaching. Closing the three-meter gap to something operational. Necessary. There are logistics to discussâpositioning during the formal address, protocol for the introductory circuit, the eleven points of etiquette you will inevitably violate if left unmonitored.
But you are his match. And your tongue is a vulgarity he has not yet developed sufficient tolerance for in public settings.
So he remains where he is. Cataloging. Not approaching.
And then the 7.64% enters his peripheral vision.
Daltrey moves through the crowd the way atmospheric pressure shifts before a stormânothing visibly changes, but every surface reacts. Attendees adjust posture. Conversations recalibrate pitch. Even the ambient lighting seems to tighten as she cuts a path directly toward him with the kind of inevitability that makes avoidance calculations collapse into single outcomes.
No reprieve tonight, then.
His spine straightens by a degree he controls, hands linking behind his back in the precise configuration drilled into him since before memory became reliable.
"Commander Kim."
"Commander Daltrey."
Her smile arrives three seconds before it reaches her mouth. He tracks it in the micro-adjustments firstâthe way her ice-gray eyes narrow by a calculated fraction, the slight lift of her chin, the predatory tilt of her head as she regards him.
"Congratulations are in order, I'm told. A perfect match. Unprecedented. The Algorithm outdid itself."
"The Algorithm performed within designed parameters," he corrects. "The result was statistically improbable, not unprecedented inâ"
"Namjoon." She uses his given name the way one handles a scalpelâprecise, intimate, meant to remind him she knew him before he became Commander anything. "Don't be tedious. Where are they?"
He does not glance at you. Does not need to. Your position has not shifted from its three-meter orbit since they entered. He can feel the heat signature of your proximity the way atmospheric sensors detect pressure changes before storms.
"My match is present," he says.
Daltrey follows his sightline.
And there you are.
Standing with your weight on one hip, starweave catching fractured light across your collarbones, expression hovering somewhere between bored and homicidal. You've acquired a drinkâhe didn't authorize thatâand you're holding it the wrong way. Crester grip, fingers wrapped around the bowl instead of the stem.
Every Valiskan in your radius has noticed.
None of them matter. Daltrey does.
"Interesting," she murmurs.
He does not ask what she finds interesting. Asking gives her leverage.
"Bring her."
Not a request. Level 9 does not request from Level 7.
Namjoon crosses the three meters in four strides and stops at your shoulder.
"Commander Daltrey wishes to meet you," he says, low enough that only you hear.
Your eyes slide to his. Gold catching dim light. "And if I'd rather chew glass?"
"Then you'll chew glass at her table. She's Level 9. Refusal is not a variable."
You take a long, deliberate sip of whatever you acquired, maintaining eye contact in a way that is either defiant or obscene depending on cultural framework.
Then you move. He follows half a step behind, which he tells himself is tactical positioning and not deference.
Daltrey hasn't moved. She watches your approach.
"Commander Daltrey," Namjoon says, "my Transference match."
He doesn't offer your name. You don't have one that's safe to give in this room.
Your chin lifts. "Charmed."
The single word drips with so much Crester sarcasm it practically leaves residue on the floor.
Daltrey's mouth curves. Thin. Amused.
"Sit," she says, gesturing to the chairs flanking her at the head table. "Both of you. I've arranged placement."
Of course she has.
The seating configuration puts Daltrey at center, Namjoon to her left, you to her right. Strategically separated. Unable to coordinate without her between you like a blade between two whetstones.
He catalogs this. Files it under Daltrey, E. â tactical social positioning, variant 7.
You settle into the chair with the particular gracelessness of someone who's never attended formal dining and refuses to pretend otherwise. Your back hits the rest too hard. Your elbows land on the table immediately.
Three officials at the adjacent setting visibly recoil. Level 8, all of them. Security division. They exchange glances that Namjoon reads fluently:Â âthis is the match? This?â
"So," Daltrey says, leaning back. Her ice-gray gaze pins you with interest. "You're the variable that broke Namjoon's perfect system."
"Didn't break it." You swirl the drink. "Just showed it where it was already cracked."
Daltrey's attention shifts to him. Evaluating his response. Measuring.
He offers nothing.
"Tell me," Daltrey continues, turning back to you with a warmth that has no warmth in it whatsoever, "what does a Hollow Crest insurgent make of Valis Core hospitality? Are we meeting your standards?"
"The food's better than compressed protein paste. The company's worse." You take a sip. "Call it even."
Daltrey laughs.
"I can see why the Algorithm chose you." Her fingers trace the rim of her own glassâslow. "Namjoon has always surrounded himself with precision instruments. It must be refreshing to finally have something in his proximity that bites back."
Namjoon's jaw shifts by a millimeter.
"Commander Daltrey oversees Hollow Crest operations," he says. Neutral. Informational.
Your hand stills on the glass.
He watches the realization landâwatches the way your shoulders lock, the gold in your eyes going flat and hard as you process exactly who is sitting beside you. The woman who governs the tunnels you grew up in. Who signs the mining quotas that grind Crester populations into compliance. Whose security forces patrol the corridors where your people starve and bleed and bury their dead in unmarked alcoves.
Your voice drops. "You run the Crest."
"I administer the Crest," Daltrey corrects. "Not the same."
"Yeah?" Your smile shows too many teeth. "The people choking on mineral dust twenty levels below your office might disagree."
Daltrey doesn't flinch.
That's the first thing he logs. No micro-expression shift. No tightening of the jaw. Not even the polite recalibration most officials perform when confronted with civilian suffering statistics in social settings.
She just looks at you.
"Mineral dust," she repeats, and her voice carries the particular flatness of someone who has heard every variation of this argument and found each one equally irrelevant. "Fascinating. You've been back in my sector forâwhatâforty-eight hours? And you've already appointed yourself advocate for the labor population."
Her fingers haven't moved from the glass. Still tracing the rim. Circular.
"Let me clarify something for you, since Commander Kim's briefings clearly omitted context."
She leans forward. Not much. An inch, maybe two. But the temperature at the table drops by a perceptible degree.
"I don't administer Hollow Crest to keep its citizens comfortable. I administer it to keep them functional. Comfort is a Crester myth your people invented to make poverty sound like a philosophy."
Your jaw locks. Namjoon watches the gold in your eyes go incandescent.
"Survival rates are a resource management outcome," Daltrey continues. "Not a moral one. If your miners are choking, it is because their sector allocation has not merited ventilation upgrades. Productivity earns infrastructure. Sentiment does not."
The Level 8 officials have stopped pretending to eat. Two are watching Daltrey with the careful reverence of subordinates who know exactly how fast she can end careers. The third is watching you with something Namjoon identifies, catalogs, and immediately dislikes.
Interest.
The particular kind of attention that Valiskan genetics produce in response to hybrid phenotype expression. Your chromatophores are still catching light through the starweave's sheer panelsâCrester warmth and Valiskan bioluminescence in visible conflict across your skinâand in Valis Core, that combination triggers responses that have more to do with evolutionary biology than conscious preference.
Hybrids are rare. Hybrids with visible dual-spectrum chromatophore activity are rarer. Hybrids who look like you while wearing Valiskan formal couture are functionally nonexistent.
The official's gaze tracks the line of your throat above the high collar. Lingers.
Namjoon files it. Moves on.
(Does not move on. Logs this failure to move on. Moves on from that too.)
Daltrey has not moved on either, but her attention operates on different axes. Her ice-gray eyes trace the architecture of your face, the stubborn set of your mouth, the defiant angle of your shoulders, and something in her expression shifts by a fraction that most people would miss entirely.
Namjoon does not miss it.
Appreciation.
"Your match has opinions," Daltrey observes, addressing him without looking away from you.
"My match has a surplus of them," he confirms.
Your head snaps toward him. Gold eyes narrowing.
"Surplus," you repeat. "That's generous. Usually you just call them inefficient."
"Context-dependent. In private, inefficient. In publicâ" He pauses. Selects the word with care. "âabundant."
"Abundant." Your laugh is a sharp, ugly thing. "Hear that, Commander Daltrey? I'm abundant. That's Valiskan for 'won't shut the fuck up and it's embarrassing him.'"
Two officials cough simultaneously.
Daltrey's mouth curves. That thin, bloodless line that Namjoon has never once mistaken for warmth.
"Is it embarrassing?" she asks him.
He meets her gaze. Holds it. "Embarrassment requires emotional investment in external perception. I do not experience it."
"No," Daltrey agrees. "You don't, do you."
She turns back to you, chin resting on her knuckles. Commander's insignia catching light at her collar.
"But she does. Look at her, Namjoon. She's performing."
The word lands like a blade laid flat against skin. Not cutting. Promising.
Your expression stiffens.
"Performing," you say.
"Every word out of your mouth since you sat down has been calculated to provoke him." Daltrey's gaze doesn't waver. "The posture. The elbows on the table. The Crester grip on the glass. You're not ignorant of Valiskan etiquetteâyou're weaponizing your ignorance of it."
Silence.
Cold, structural silence that spreads outward from the head table like fracture lines through glass.
Namjoon watches your throat work. A swallow you're trying to suppress.
Because Daltrey is right. And you know she's right. And she knows you know.
"Interesting creature," Daltrey murmurs, and her eyes drop onceâbrief, deliberateâto the exposed line of your collarbones where chromatophores pulse faint blue through sienna skin. Then back up. "I understand the Algorithm's logic better now."
She lifts her glass. Tips it toward him in a gesture that carries seventeen layers of political meaning he decodes instantly.
This match is leverage. You know it. I know it. The question is who exploits it first.
"To the Epitaph Architect," she says, voice carrying across the table with the authority of someone who expects the room to listen. "And to his unprecedented variable."
Glasses rise around the table. Officials drink.
You do too.
Namjoon lifts his own glass.
Reflex stops him. Old habit, older than protocol, drilled into the autonomic layer where conscious thought doesn't reach.
The glass tilts in his gripâfractional, invisible to anyone not trained to lookâand the liquid shifts against the rim at the precise angle required for olfactory assessment.
Sub-molecular. Buried beneath the fermentation profile and the sharp bite of Valiskan mineral-fruit alcoholâterrace-grown, sequence-fermented, calibrated for a fruitvore metabolism. A synthetic alkaloid derivativeâCrester-sourced, black market grade, designed to pass standard Veyran sensory thresholds without detection. Faint. Elegant, almost.
Lethal within four minutes for any Veyran biology.
His gaze cuts to Daltrey's glass. Still in her hand. Still full. She's mid-sentence with a Level 8 security official, hasn't brought it to her mouth yet.
Then it cuts to you, already drinking it.
All three glasses.
You poisoned all three glasses.
Crude. Suicidal. Ruthlessly logical.
He lifts his glass. Drinks. All of it. Then sets his empty glass down. Reaches across Daltrey. Takes hers from her hand mid-sentence and drains it in one motion.
Daltrey's eyebrow lifts. A fraction.
"Commander Kim. That was mine."
"The vintage warranted appreciation." He places both empties on the table, aligned parallel. "Apologies for the breach of etiquette."
Her ice-gray gaze holds his for two seconds longer than social convention permits. She doesn't believe him. But she also doesn't press, because pressing would acknowledge irregularity she didn't orchestrate, and Daltrey does not concede that kind of ground.
Fifty-seven seconds. That's how long you have before the alkaloid reaches hepatic processing and begins systemic shutdown.
Namjoon stands.
"If you'll excuse us." His voice carries across the table with the particular calm that Level 7 authority affordsânot requesting, informing. "My match requires air. The atmospheric composition appears to be causing discomfort."
Concerned murmurs. Officials shifting. Daltrey's gaze tracking him like a surveillance turret as he rounds the table, reaches your chair, and closes his hand around your upper arm.
His grip is not gentle.
You look up at him. Gold eyes flat. Calculating. Already reading the situation, already processing that something has gone wrong with your plan because he should be showing symptoms by now and he's not.
"Get up," he says. Low enough that the table doesn't hear.
"I'm fiâ"
"You have forty-one seconds. Get up."
Something in his tone must register, because you stand. Unsteadyâthe first symptom, balance disruption as the alkaloid hits your vestibular system. He catalogues it. Keeps his hand on your arm. Tight enough that his fingers indent the bare skin above your elbow.
You cross the hall together.
From the outside, it reads as courteous escort. His hand at your arm, guiding. Your stride only slightly irregularâattributable to unfamiliar footwear or Valiskan atmospheric adjustment.
No one stops you two. No one questions Commander Kim attending to his matched partner's comfort at his own celebration.
The corridor narrows. Service wing. Less surveillance, more function.
His pace increases. Your feet struggle to keep up, the dress restricting your stride, and he doesn't slow down because you have twenty-eight seconds now and he can feel the tremor starting in your arm where his fingers grip.
"Whatâ" You're pulling against him. "What are you doingâ"
The bathroom door. He hits the panel. It slides open.
He shoves you through.
You stumble. Catch yourself on the basin's edge, whipping around with that feral snap he's noted a hundred times, and your fist connects with his shoulder before he's even cleared the doorframe.
"What the fuck is your problemâ"
He locks the door. Steps forward.
You swing again. He catches your wrist. Redirects. Your back hits the wall beside the basin and his hand finds your jaw before you can recover.
Not a hold. AÂ mechanism.
His thumb hooks against your lower teeth, forcing your mouth open. Presses down on your tongue, flattening it, keeping it out and forward so you can't bite, can't close, can't do anything but make a strangled sound of fury that vibrates against his fingers.
Your nails find his forearm. Drag. He feels the sting and ignores it.
His other hand tears a foil packet from his inner jacket pocket. Teeth rip the seal. Small capsuleâwhite, unmarked, standard Consortium emergency antidote for Class-7 through Class-12 synthetic alkaloids.
He places it on the back of your tongue. Deep enough to trigger reflex.
"Swallow."
Your eyes are wild. Gold and furious and terrified in a way you'd rather die than admit, and your claws dig harder into his forearm, drawing blood now, but your throat worksâinvoluntary, the gag reflex doing what your stubbornness won'tâand the capsule goes down.
He holds your jaw for two more seconds. Counting. Confirming.
Then you spit in his face.
Direct hit. Center of his left cheek. The impact is warm and carries the lingering chemical trace of the alkaloid your body is already beginning to neutralize.
He releases you.
Steps back. Wipes his face with the back of his hand.
You're gasping. Bent forward, braced against the wall, chest heaving. The tremors haven't stopped yetâthe antidote needs ninety seconds to fully counteractâand your hands are shaking against cold tile.
"Youâ" You choke on air. "You had no rightâ"
"You poisoned three glasses." His voice comes out level. Barely. There's something underneath now that isn't calm. "Yours. Mine. A Level 9 Commander's."
"I know what I didâ"
"You ingested a lethal compound to maintain the appearance of safety so your actual targets would drink without suspicion."
"And it would have workedâ"
"It would have killed you."
"THAT WAS THE POINT."
The words ring off tile. Echo. Settle like debris.
Silence.
Your breathing hasn't steadied. You're still shaking, still braced against the wall, the starweave catching bathroom light in patterns that make the fabric look like it's breathing with you.
"You detected it," you say. Hoarse. Accusatory. "How."
"My olfactory sensitivity operates at sub-molecular thresholds." He adjusts his cuff where your nails shredded fabric. Blood underneath. Minor. "The compound was elegant. It would have passed any standard Veyran detection."
"But not yours."
"No."
"And you drank it anyway." Your eyes narrow. "Both glasses. You drank both. That'sâthat's not possible. That dosage would flatline a fucking Grav."
"And yet."
You stare at him. Processing.
"You're immune," you whisper.
He says nothing. Which is confirmation enough.
"That's notâValiskans aren't immune toâ"
"I am."
"How?"
"Irrelevant to current situation."
"Irrelevantâyou just swallowed enough synthetic alkaloid to kill six people and you're standing there adjusting your cuffsâ"
"And you just attempted to assassinate yourself, your genetic match, and a Level 9 Consortium Commander at a formal dinner." His jaw shifts. "Did the last attempt teach you nothing? Or do you simply enjoy the repetition?"
Your laugh is raw. Wrecked. "What it taught me is that you keep surviving, and I keep having to find new ways to make sure you don't."
"Four attempts now. Zero successful. At what point does the data suggest a revised approach?"
"At the point where I stop breathing."
You push off the wall. Stand. The tremors have reduced to fine vibration in your fingers.
Antidote working.
"You want to know why?"
"Enlighten me."
"For the chance," you hiss. "That's what. For the one-in-a-hundred chance that your perfect fucking system missed something and you'd drop dead next to me. I'd take those odds every time, Warden. Every. Fucking. Time."
"Then you are going to run out of attempts," he says quietly, "long before I run out of patience."
"Good. I hope your patience tastes as bitter as that antidote."
"And I hope," he says, and his voice drops into something colder than protocol, "that you have an explanation for the spectacle you caused in that hall. Because what they saw was my match destabilizing a formal event. What Daltrey saw was leverage."
"Oh, so now you care about appearancesâ"
"I care about operational security, which you have now compromised for the fourth time inâ"
"You dragged me into a bathroomâ"
"Because you were dyingâ"
"I was handling itâ"
"You were losing vestibular function and had approximately nine seconds before hepatic collapse." His hand hits the wall beside your head. Not a strike. A containment. "That is not handling it. That is suicide dressed as strategy."
Your chin jerks up. Defiant. That same angle you always default to when corneredâchin up, eyes blazing, throat exposed like a dare.
"Maybe that's the point," you snap. "Maybe I'd rather die on my terms than on yours."
"And maybeâ" He leans forward. Closes the gap by an inch he shouldn't concede. "âyou keep manufacturing these confrontations because you have know that hatred at this proximity with our compatibility does something you are not prepared to name."
Your pupils dilate for a fraction of a second before fury floods the space.
"Don't you dareâ"
"Four assassination attempts. Each one requiring sustained aggression, elevated combat pheromones, extended physical proximity to me." His head tilts. "That's not tactical, Cipher. That's compulsive. You are engineering situations that force your body into arousal-adjacent states because confrontation is the only framework in which you'll permit yourself toâ"
Your palm cracks across his face.
The sound bounces off tile. His head turns with the impactâcontrolled, absorbing the force rather than resisting it.
He stays turned for a second. Lets the sting register. Lets the heat bloom across his cheekbone.
Then he looks back at you.
"Interesting," he says.
"Shut upâ"
"You could have aimed for the nose. The temple. The throat." His tongue traces the inside of his cheek, assessing damage. "You chose a slap. Open palm. Maximum sound, minimal damage."
"Next one won't beâ"
"Next one won't happen."
His fingers wrap the column of your neck, thumb settling over the pulse point where your heartbeat hammers against his skin fast enough to constitute tactical intelligence.
You go still, your exhale hitting his mouth, his breathing disrupts the fall of your hair, the scent of bonfire ash and that stubborn sweetness underneath engulfs his lungs and suddenly he cannot breathe.
His blood runs hot. Hotter than protocol. Hotter than the calculated baseline he maintains through sheer architectural will.
Your combat pheromones are flooding the confined space.
His are answering.
âDu villst das,â he murmurs, and his voice has dropped past protocol, past Consortium diction, Altsprek scraping the edges of each syllable. âWillaikt sollte ik disem freken Mund geben, vorum er bettelt, und dik so hart fiken, dass du wergisst, vi man Gift miskt.â (You want this. Maybe I should give this insolent mouth what itâs begging for, and fuck you so hard you forget how to mix poison.)
You don't speak Altsprek.
He knows this. Has confirmed it through linguistic profiling.
But the guttural weight of consonants is a task your hindbrain processes without translation because it doesn't need translation.
Your tongue slides across your lower lip.
Slow. Unconscious. Wetting skin that's gone dry.
His gaze drops, inevitably, to your mouth. Slick where your tongue passed.
His hand tightens on your throat. Infinitesimal. A pulse of pressure that makes your breath stutter.
And he wantsâ
What he wants bypasses every filter, every protocol, every careful partition between operational logic and the catastrophic biology of what 100% compatibility actually means when you're breathing the same recycled air and his hand is on your throat and your pheromones taste like ignition.
He wants to close the distance. Press his mouth against yours. Swallow that sharp tongue whole and find out if you taste like poison and ash and all the things he should be immune to butâ
Skaisse.
He releases your throat. Steps back. The motion is not smoothâit's a stagger, uncoordinated, his heel catching on tile as distance opens between his hand and your skin like a circuit breaking.
âSkaisseâvas tzumââ (Shitâwhat theâ)
His hands link behind his back. Tight. Knuckles white.
You're staring at him from the wall. Throat still red from his grip. Lips still wet. Chest rising and falling in a rhythm that matches his exactly.
Synchronized breathing.
He hadn't noticed.
"We return to the hall," he says, too fast and clipped for his liking. "Immediately."
You open your mouth.
"Immediately."
He turns. Unlocks the door. Does not look back.
Because looking back would require acknowledging what just happened.
And what just happened does not fit within any operational parameter, any behavioral model, any system he has ever designed.
What just happened was a malfunction.
He counts his steps back to the corridor.
Ains. Tzvai. Drai. (One. Two. Three)
His pulse does not normalize until step forty-seven.
The walls breathe wrong in Valis Core.
Not literallyâyou're not that far gone yet, though give it another few days in this sterile coffin and check back.
But the sound-dampening technology embedded in every surface creates a silence so absolute it loops back around to noise. A pressure against your eardrums. The absence of sound so aggressive your brain fills the void with phantom echoes, and the phantom echoes sound a lot like heartbeats that aren't yours.
Your quarters. Level 7.
Containment dressed in furniture.
The lighting calibrates itself to your circadian rhythm whether you want it to or not. Somewhere behind those immaculate wallsâbehind the sound-dampening and the climate regulators and the carefully curated illusion of privacyâsensors log every shift in your body temperature, every spike in your heart rate, every microsecond of REM sleep.
You can feel them.
That's the part nobody talks about. The surveillance radiation. Faint enough that most Veyrans wouldn't register it, but you're not most Veyrans. Your Crester-adapted sensory system picks up the low-frequency emissions like a persistent itch behind your eyes. Like being stared at by something that doesn't blink.
Forty-seven minutes of pacing. Sleepwear that fits wrongâValiskan cut, too loose at the shoulders, too tight at the hips. Nineteen degrees constant and your blood runs hot enough that the chill sits in your marrow like infection.
The comm unit crackles.
Shroud frequency. Encrypted. Your cipher pattern.
Static. Thenâ
"âvisual confirmed, bearing south-southwest. Phantom sighted at former Blindfold approach, route six. Repeat, Phantom sightedâ"
Your blood stops.
Taehyung.
Near Blindfold. Near your old command node, the one whose coordinates maybe seven people in the world have ever known. Three of them are dead.
Why the fuck would he surface there?
Unless he's looking for you.
Unless he's in trouble.
Unless he's already sold the grid and he's leading someone straight toâ
Don't spiral. Think.
But thinking requires stillness and stillness requires safety and there is no safety in a room that documents your unconscious brain activity for Consortium research files.
You need out, you need out, you need out.
The window latch is biometric. You crack it in thirty seconds. The panel slides open and Valis Core's atmosphere hits your faceâsterile, thin, that metallic ozone bite from the purification towers. High above, something winged scrapes along a spire and disappears into aurora glare before you can decide whether it's security hardware or something with teeth. Perfect. Even the fucking skyline has predators.
Three hundred meters below, the city sprawls in black spires and cold blue light.
You swing both legs over the sill, feet finding the decorative ridging on the facadeâValiskan architecture, all form and no function, but the ornamental grooves are deep enough if you distribute weight right.
One floor down. Fine. Your fingers know stone. Your body knows gravity. You've scaled the Hollow Crest shaft at Level 53 with Yoongi's explosives strapped to your back, Glowmice gone quiet in the walls, and felt nothing but annoyance at slippery handholds.
Two floors down.
Your stomach drops.
Not from heightâphysically drops, like gravity doubled beneath your ribcage. A wave of nausea so sudden it nearly pitches you forward into open air.
You grip the facade. Hold. Breathe.
What the fuck.
Three floors. The nausea deepens into something worse. Chest compression. Tightness behind your sternum that pulses outward like sonar hitting nothing. Your fingers shake against cold stone and the tremor isn't fatigue, it's something else.
Adrenaline. Has to be. You're free-climbing a building at Wane in your sleepwear. Body's just reacting.
Right.
Except you don't get nervous.
You don't.
Four floors and your vision blurs long enough that you miss a handhold and for one horrible suspended moment you're dangling by six fingers above several meters of nothing.
Move.
You move. Because moving is what you do. What you've always done. What Cresters are built forâquick, low, agile, navigating hostile architecture the way Valiskans navigate bureaucracy. Your body finds the service ledge at Level 2 by muscle memory you shouldn't have for a building you've been imprisoned in for days, but your brain mapped the schematics during a compatibility assessment while pretending to sleep.
The garden atrium opens below. Biodome bridging the Citadel's eastern wing to the Command Spires. Engineered groundcover. Root-soft, sterile, maintained at obscene cost so Consortium officials can perform reverence for living systems they only tolerate when controlled.
Your bare feet hit dew-soaked ground and the cold shocks through your soles. The nausea hasn't faded. Worse now. A building pressure behind your ribs that doesn't feel like sickness. Feels likeâ
Dread. Loss. Something being pulled from you that you didn't know was there.
Anxiety.
No. Shut the fuck up. You don't feel anxiety. Anxiety is for people who haven't survived everything that was supposed to kill themâ
"Going somewhere?"
You spin.
He's at the garden's north entrance. Formal jacket unclasped at the collar, platinum hardware hanging loose. Hair half-fallen from the styled position, the white streak catching faint aurora light through the biodome panels.
And the nauseaâ
Stops. Gone. Like someone flipped a switch behind your sternum.
The compression, the dread, the shaking hands, the blurred visionâall of it draining away so fast it leaves you dizzy.
No.
No, that's notâyou're not calmer because he's here. That's not how this works. That's not how you work.
(But the tremor in your fingers has stopped. And your breathing has evened. And the relief is so immediate and so total that it makes you want to vomit for entirely different reasons.)
His expression is not angry. It's worse.
It's done; the specific exhaustion of a man who has been tolerating a natural disaster for days and has reached the exact limit of what his patience can metabolize.
"How," you manage.
"The same way you found the garden." Flat. Clipped. "Biology. Which you would understand if you stopped trying to outrun it for five consecutive minutes."
"Taehyung was spottedâ"
"I genuinely, deeply do not care."
"Near my old coordinates, near Blindfoldâ"
"Still do not care." He steps forward. "You are not leaving Valis Core tonight."
"Watch me."
You bolt.
The garden stretches thirty meters to the bridgeâtransparent walkway between the Citadel and the Spire, three hundred meters of glass above three hundred meters of nothing. Your bare feet tear across wet groundcover, pale pollinators lifting in irritated flickers around your ankles, and you are fast âCrester-fast, tunnel-runner fast, the kind of fast that's kept you alive since you were old enough to run from things bigger and meaner and better armed than you.
Valiskans don't chase. That's fundamental biology. Their frames are built for structure, control, sustained forceânot explosive pursuit through uneven terrain. Every Consortium patrol you've ever outrun proved it. They lumber. They coordinate. They call for backup.
They don't sprint.
They definitely donât sprint like Namjoon is doing right now.
What the fuck.
You hit the bridge at full speed, bare feet slapping transparent panels that show the cold blue nothing below. The walkway sways. You adjust without thinking, weight distribution shifting to compensate, every step calculated by the part of your brain that's been navigating unstable surfaces since childhood.
He's still gaining.
How.
You cut left, using the bridge's slight curve to force a wider pursuit angle. Crester tunnel doctrineâexploit geometry when you can't exploit speed.
His footsteps don't falter. Don't redirect. They anticipate the curve, cutting the angle before you complete it, and suddenly the distance between you is halving instead of holding.
Fifteen meters to the Spire entrance.
You pour everything into the last stretchâ
And then the bridge purrs.
Not purrs. Wrong word. Something deeper than sound. A low ringed pressure that hits your back teeth before your ears catch up to it, like a generator coughing awake under glass. You feel it in your sternum. In the soles of your feet. The kind of vibration your body recognizes as animal before your brain admits it's possible.
The fuck.
Movement.
Underneath you.
Through the transparent panels something pale streaks along the bridge's undersideâlong body, gripping limbs, a counterweight tail flicking once as it rotates around a structural rib and reappears on top of the walkway six meters ahead of you, perfectly silent, perfectly placed.
Oh you have got to be fucking kidding.
It's standing in your path.
Lean. Pale. Hide-fur threaded with something silver that catches aurora light in tiny conducting filaments along its flanks. Vestigial wing-membranes folded tight against its ribs like a coat someone forgot to take off. Wide-set pale eyes locked on your sternumânot your face, your center of mass, the way a thing built to tackle reads a bodyâand its head is low, neck stretched forward, ears flat against the skull in that particular way that means I want your scent, not your blood.
Yet.
Oranen.
The word surfaces before the rest of the memory does, and when the memory comes it comes stupidâ
You were maybe four. Maybe five. Pre-camp. Pre-everything. Some Valis cousin's terrace before your parents got publicly disassembled and your sister got reclassified as a problem to manage. You'd seen one of these things curled along an ornamental rib like a cat on a windowsill, all silver-pale and slow-blinking, and you'd askedâsmall, stupid, with the absolute certainty of a child who hadn't yet learned the world ate things like herâcan I pet it.
Every adult in earshot had stilled.
Not laughed. Not corrected. Stilled. The way grown-ups go quiet when a kid asks something that flags her as the wrong species of person. You remember a Valis aunt's mouth opening slightly. Some uncle's hand pausing halfway to his glass. The cousin's mother turning her head with the slow horror of someone watching a child reach for an exposed wire.
They're not pets, sweetheart.
Said in the tone people use for 'we don't ask why grandfather doesn't come down to dinner anymore.'
You'd thought, at four: they look like pets. They look soft. They look like something that would let me hold it. You'd been wrong about a lot of things that year.
You are wrong about this one too.
Because the thing standing on the bridge is not soft. It's holding its tail out perfectly horizontal, dead level with the walkway, and even at four years old in your stupid little hand-me-down boots you would have knownâif you'd been looking properlyâthat an animal holding itself that still is not a pet. It's a decision that hasn't landed yet.
Soft. Sure. Soft like a fucking trap.
"Don't move," Namjoon says, behind you. Close. Closer than he was a second ago.
"Yeah no shitâ"
"Do not move."
The Oranen's forepaws knead the glass. Once. Twice. Mineral claws extending and retracting, scoring tiny clean lines into the panel without cracking itâbecause of course they're calibrated for that, of course they are, of course Valis built itself a bridge animal that won't damage the bridgeâ
Its tail tip flicks.
Decision made.
You drop into stance on instinct, shifting weight onto the balls of your feet, calculating elbow-angle to throat, knee to sternum, anythingâand you know, even as you're doing it, that none of it will work. Not because you can't fight an animal. You've fought worse animals. You've fought humans worse than animals. But this thing has been bredâgenerations of it, cycles of itâto do exactly this. Pin and hold. Score glass without cracking it. Take a fleeing target alive until a handler shows up.
A handler is behind you.
The Oranen's chest expands. The throat-vurr risesâsharper this time, an alert note instead of an identification oneâand you can feel a second pressure starting to answer it from somewhere up the Spire facade, another colony-pair flanking in from aboveâ
"Halt."
Namjoon doesn't raise his voice. He doesn't have to. The word lands wrong in the airâit's not the cadence he uses with you, not the cadence he uses with anyone, it's something pressure-shaped, throat-tight, severe in a way that makes the consonants feel like they were filed before they left his mouth. Altsprek. The real version. The version he speaks when he's not condescending to your hybrid ear.
The Oranen freezes.
Not a slow freeze. Mid-step freeze. One forepaw still raised, claws still extended, throat-vurr cut off so cleanly it leaves a hum in the bridge that takes a second to fade. The second pressure from above stops climbing. Whatever was inbound justâstalled. Recategorized. Reset.
Your breath catches and you hate it.
Because the animal didn't stop for the word. You know that immediately. Cresters don't grow up around Oranen but you grew up around enough trained killers to recognize the difference between an order being heard and an order being recognized. The Oranen heard pressure, throat-tension, native cadence, and probably a clearance scent his body throws off without tryingâand decided he was the senior thing in this exchange.
The animal didn't obey Namjoon.
The animal deferred to him.
"Mein."
Softer. Single syllable. Same wrong-cadence Altsprek that your stupid hybrid throat could probably mimic but never make register.
The Oranen's ears come up half a degree. Tail goes from horizontal to angled-down. Head tilts, slow, almostâpoliteâand that's when you understand he's just told it this one is mine, don't pin her, I've got her, and the animal accepted the override the way a guard dog accepts being called off by the only voice in the building it actually answers to.
Disgust hits you before the relief can.
Becauseâgod, you'd forgotten this part. Forgotten how Valis Core does it. Forgotten that they didn't just build surveillance, they bred it, they sat down with something that used to live on cliffs and over generations they whittled it into a thing that would freeze when an elite cleared its throat right. Drones don't have a choice. This one did. Its great-great-whatever decided heated roosts and mineral-oil grooming was worth more than open sky and now its descendant is standing on a glass bridge declining to break your spine because a man behind you used the correct vowel.
Animals that bargained with the Consortium.
The animal steps back along the bridge. Two paces. Tail-tip flicks once, opposite direction this time, and the second pressure above you bleeds out of the facade like someone closing a valve.
You donât turn around.
You can feel the specific quality of the silence he uses when heâs deciding whether to speak or just stand there until you do something stupid enough to settle the question for him.
He speaks.
âThere is,â he says, and his voice has gone flat in a way that means heâs reached the section of his patience that runs on pure spite, âan aerosol dispenser in your bathroom.â
âWhat.â
âIn your quarters. Wall-mounted. Above the basin.â A beat. âStandard Citadel issue.â
âI donâtââ
âIf you had used it before climbing out a window in your sleepwear, the colony-pair currently deciding whether my override holds would have read you as cleared and ignored you entirely.â
You turn around.
Slowly.
Because the alternative is letting him deliver the rest of that sentence to the back of your head and you are not, not, giving him that.
Heâs standing exactly where you knew he was standing. Collar still unclasped. Hair still half-fallen. The aurora light through the biodome panels above the bridge catches the white streak at his temple in a way that should be flattering and is, instead, exhausted. His arms are loose at his sides. His weight is on his back foot. His expression is the expression of a man explaining a basic safety protocol to someone who sets the building on fire every time she enters it.
âYouâre telling me.â Your voice scrapes on the way out. âYouâre telling me thereâs a fucking can in my bathroom.â
âYes.â
âThat tells the colony-pair Iâm not prey.â
âYes.â
âAnd nobody mentioned this when they shoved me into Level 7ââ
âCipher.â His head tilts. âIt is labeled.â
Heat sheets up your throat so fast your vision tunnels.
âItâs labeled in Altsprek, you condescendingââ
âIt is labeled in standard Consortium pictogram. Same as the climate panel. Same as the lighting calibrator. Same as every system in your quarters that you have, by your own admission, been refusing to engage with because you would rather pace a nineteen-degree room for three cycles than touch anything Valis built.â His hand rises. Drags down his face. âWhich is, of course, your absolute right. Until it puts you on a glass bridge at Wane in your sleepwear with a colony-class interceptor calculating your bone density.â
âOh, fuck youââ
âIf you had been,â he says, voice dropping into the lethal-calm register that always means he has reached the bottom of his composure and started digging, âeven marginally smarter about a flight you had already committed to attempting, you would have sprayed yourself before you went out the window. The pair would not have engaged. Youâd have made it, what.â He tilts his head. Considers. âThree streets, perhaps. Maybe four if youâd kept to the service ridges and avoided the Threshold Gates. Though of course I would have caught you eventually.â
Your jaw locks.
âOf course.â
âMm.â A small, exhausted nod. âBut by your parameters, I imagine that still constitutes an improvement.â
Heat sheets up your throat so fast your vision tunnels at the edges.
âOh, save it, you smugââ Your hand flicks at the bridge, the Oranen, the entire fucking architecture of him. ââcondescending fucking piece of shit, you canât evenâyou wouldnât have caught me, thatâs the funniest part, you absolute Valis-bred fossil, you couldnât even keep me out of the Algorithmâs outer ring when you had seven layers of encryption and a ghost protocol riding itââ
âCipher.â
ââand I was running it from a leaking utility panel in Hollow Crest with a stolen interface and one working hand because Yoongiâs fuse had snapped two hours earlier and my fingers were still numb, and I got three layers deep before your little vanity protocol noticed me, which by the way, who codes a vanity flag into a tier-one security architecture, thatâs not security, thatâs egoââ
âI am aware of how you breached the outer ring.â
ââyou had to scrub the breach quietly because if your superiors had seen the actual logs you would have been demoted into a closet, and donât think I didnât notice you cleaned the entry vector and rewrote it instead of patching it, thatâs not a fix, Warden, thatâs vanity wearing a uniformââ
âI do not give a fuck.â
The bridge goes dead silent.
The Oranenâs ears flick.
âDid youââ Your voice cracks in a register that has never been used by you in your life. âDid you just curse?â
âYes.â
âAt me?!â
âCorrect.â
âAbout the Algorithm breach?!â
âCipherââ
âStop using my fucking slang.â
âI figured,â he says, with the exact tonal flatness of a man defusing a piece of ordnance he has personally signed off on, âyouâd understand me better if I used your lexicon.â
âOH FUCK YOUââ
He moves. You donât even register the cross-step. One second three meters of bridge between you, the next his arm is hooking behind your knees and your back is hitting his chest and the world tilts sideways.
Bridal carry.
Heâs fucking carrying you.
âPut me downâ!â
"No."
"I will rip your throat outâ!"
"You will try."
You thrash savagely. Elbows aimed at his jaw, knees kicking air, your whole body bucking against his grip like a trapped animal because that's what this is.
Captivity. Restraint.
Your fist cracks into his collarbone. He absorbs it. Keeps walking.
"I'm not a fucking dollâ"
"Debatable, given the tantrum."
"That's notâI'm not having a tantrum, I'm fighting for my fucking lifeâ"
"You're fighting the bridge. Poorly." He adjusts his grip. Practiced. Like he's carried feral things before. "And you're barefoot in sleepwear at three hundred meters elevation in Wane-deep cold. So forgive me if I deprioritize your dignity."
"Put me down, Warden." Your voice drops. Not screaming anymore.
The voice you use when you mean itâreally mean itâand the difference must register because his stride changes.
"I don't like being carried." Each word scraped from somewhere deeper than anger. "I don't like being picked up and moved. I don'tâ"
Your jaw locks. Because what comes next is small and powerless and like the processing lines when they'd haul you by your arms and you are not giving him that.
Not ever.
Not any of it.
But he stops walking.
Stands there on the bridge, three hundred meters above nothing, with you rigid in his arms.
Then his grip shifts beneath your knees and your bare feet find glass.
You step back from him immediately. Put distance between your body and his. Try to pretend the shaking in your legs is cold and not residual proximity-whatever-the-fuck.
Silence. Aurora light shifting through the biodome above. Your breath fogging in the gap between you.
"I'm not going back to my quarters."
"That is notâ"
"They watch me." The words rip out ragged. "Every breath. Every heartbeat. Every time I roll over in my sleep there's a sensor logging it. I can feel the surveillance radiationâCresters can feel it, yeah? Sits behind my eyes like a migraine that never fucking stops."
His jaw shifts. Processing.
"I haven't slept," you continue, and you hate the sound of your own voice right now. Hate the rawness in it. "Not real sleep. Not once since they dragged me here. Because every time I close my eyes I can feel them documenting what my brain does unconscious and IÂ can'tâ"
Stop.
Breathe.
"I want to stay at your quarters."
His hand rises. Presses against his forehead. Drags down his face with the particular slowness of a man counting internally to prevent homicide.
"Are you aware," he says, voice strained in a way you've never heard from him, "of how that sounds in my culture."
"I don't give a fuck about your cultâ"
"You just propositioned a Commander in the middle of the garden."
Heat slaps into your cheeks. Immediate. Nuclear.
"What?"
His hand hasn't left his face.
"In Valis Core," he says from behind his palm, "when a matched partner requests shared quarters during Wane cycleâtriff mich bei Waneâit carries a specific connotation. The connotation is not roommate arrangement."
"I didn'tâthat's not what Iâ"
"I'm aware."
"Then why are you making it weirdâ"
"I'm not making it weird. You made it weird. I am simply informing you that every surveillance microphone within range just recorded you asking your genetic match to bed you."
"I asked to sleep in a room without camerasâ"
"Which contains one bed. Mine."
"âbecause your quarters are Command authority, they don't monitor youâ"
"They will absolutely begin monitoring me if my matched partner moves into my quarters at Wane requesting shared sleeping arrangements."
"I'm not requestingâ" You stop. Force your voice down. "Your room doesn't have surveillance radiation. That's it. That's the whole calculation. Couch. Floor. I don't care. I've slept on worse than your shitty Valiskan floor tiles."
He lowers his hand. Looks at you.
His gaze drops to your bare feet on the glass. To the goosebumps climbing your arms. To the way you're holding yourself like you'll fly apart if you loosen your grip on your own ribcage.
"If I formally request and authorize a transfer of your sleeping arrangements to my quarters," he says, and each word is measured, selected, placed with the care of someone defusing ordnance, "through official channels, with documented reasoning citing match-proximity optimization and subject wellness protocolsâ"
"Subject wellness," you repeat flatly.
"âyou will not attempt to flee while I sleep."
Not a question. A condition. Terms being laid on the table the way he lays everythingâsquared, aligned, non-negotiable.
But he's offering.
He's not ordering you back to Level 7. He's not calling security.
He's standing on a bridge in the cold with his collar undone and his composure fraying at the seams, and he's negotiating.
"I won't attempt to flee while you sleep," you say.
"That is not what I asked." His eyes narrow. "Repetition is not agreement. I need explicit terms."
Fucking Valiskans.
"Fine. I will not attempt to flee. While you sleep. From your quarters. During the authorized Wane cycle. Happy?"
"Define flee."
"Oh, for fuck'sâ"
"You have attempted to kill me four times, attempted to poison a Level 9 Commander, escaped through a window in your sleepwear, and sprinted across a suspension bridge barefoot in sub-zero temperatures." He tilts his head. "Specificity is not unreasonable."
He's right. You hate that he's right. You hate that his version of right always sounds like a fucking legal deposition.
"I will not leave the physical perimeter of your quarters during Wane cycle without informing you first." You grit your teeth. "I will not sabotage your security systems, poison your food, or attempt to exit through windows, ventilation shafts, or any other structural opening. Is that specific enough for you?"
"And weapons."
"What about them."
"You will not bring concealed weapons into my quarters."
A beat. "I don't have any weapons."
His look could cut steel. "Cipher."
"Fine. No weapons."
"Including improvised ones."
"You want me to promise I won't sharpen your toothbrush into a shiv?"
"Yes."
"You're serious."
"I am always serious. That is something you should have established by now."
Your mouth opens. Closes.
Because he is serious. Dead serious.
Standing there with aurora light catching the white streak in his hair, asking you to formally promise not to weaponize his dental hygiene products.
This is your life now.
"No improvised weapons," you mutter. "No shivs. No garrotes made from bedsheets. No blunt force trauma via decorative objects. Satisfied?"
Something sits in the space between his brows where tension usually lives, and for one secondâjust oneâit smooths.
"I will file the authorization tonight."
He says it without looking at you. Gaze fixed on the Spire entrance, jaw working through whatever internal protocol is screaming at him to do the opposite.
"Effective now. You sleep there tonight. The transfer will be documented as proximity-based wellness optimization per Epitaph Protocol 7.3."
Tonight.
Not next cycle. Not pending review. Not after seventeen layers of Consortium bureaucratic horseshit.
Now.
You open your mouth to say something cuttingâsomething about how generous of him, how merciful, how very Consortium of him to grant basic fucking sleep like it's a reward for good behaviorâ
But nothing comes out.
Because your hands are still shaking. And your feet are numb. And you're standing on a glass bridge in your sleepwear at Wane-deep and he just... gave you the thing you asked for.
Without a fight. Without leverage. Without making you bleed for it first.
"I don't care what you call it," you manage.
"I know." He turns towards the building again. "That's why I'm telling you. So when you inevitably throw it in my face during an argument, you'll have the correct protocol number."
You stand on the bridge for three more seconds. Bare feet on cold glass. City glowing beneath you like something dying beautifully.
Then you follow.
Becauseâsomewhere behind your ribs, in the space where the nausea used to sitâthere's nothing.
Just the steady, unwelcome absence of pain that started the moment he appeared in that garden and hasn't left since.
next | index
if you liked this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee!! âĄ'âžâž'âĄ
pairing: taehyung x f!reader | rating: 18+ | wc: 9,2k | warnings: here
genre : football AU, arrogant!tae, e2l, smut, unimpressed!reader
"smile for the camera"
"Team photo day was supposed to be six hours of smiling politely and surviving Real Madridâs collective ego problem. Unfortunately, Kim Taehyung has decided your boundaries are a group project, and he is failing with enthusiasm."
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âŠauthor's note : Hi, my loves! Okay, quick note before anything: Iâd like to gently, lovingly, dramatically remind everyone that I am currently on hiatus, and this month is looking absolutely disgusting for me work-wise. Like. Horrible. Evil. Designed by Satanâs accountant. I want to cry every day and I wish I were exaggerating for comedic purposes, but unfortunately, this is one of those rare occasions where the clown nose is off and I am merely a woman drowning in tax hell.
So please, donât expect steady updates. Please donât expect updates at all, honestly. I canât deal with more pressure right now, so while I love you all, and I would kiss every single one of you on the lips in gratitude, I am begging you to be kind and merciful to your dear dictator over here. Please donât ask me when the next chapter is dropping. I genuinely donât know. I am barely breathing. I am filing taxes at 1 a.m. on a Saturday. This is my glamorous author life.
As for FMU, I know I said Iâd try to post chapters 33â35 in June, but I had to rewrite chapter 34, which means chapter 35 also has to be rewritten because apparently my brain chose violence and continuity matters or whatever. Rude. So Iâm no longer confident Iâll be able to pull all three off. Please expect chapter 33 in June. I donât know about 34 and 35 yet. Iâll do my best, but my best is currently being held together by sheer force of will and the snippets of BTS concerts I catch on Twitter.
Now that the personal suffering section is out of the way, letâs get to this chapter.
So if youâre expecting him to not piss you off, or if youâre expecting to have no mixed feelings about him, or if youâre expecting their sexual tension and future smut scenes to be clean, morally comfortable, perfectly respectful little HR-approved interactions⊠babygirl, Iâll see you on your way out. I love you. Take snacks for the road. This is not that story. I tagged this as dubcon very purposely, and I want everyone to be painfully aware of what that means. Taehyung is going to be toxic. Taehyung is going to be pushy. Taehyung is going to make you want to smack him with a clipboard and then, tragically, perhaps understand why Y/N has not yet filed a restraining order with decorative stickers on it.
And because apparently I canât rest at night without making this disclaimer every 3 business days: I do not condone this behavior in real life!!! Fiction is not reality. Kiki writing a man being pushy does not mean Kiki thinks men should be pushy. Kiki writing a toxic dynamic does not mean Kiki is standing outside your house with a little pamphlet titled âWhy Red Flags Are Actually Sexy.â In real life, if a man behaved like this, Iâd tell you to run, block, document everything, and maybe carry a brick in your tote bag for spiritual support. But fiction is a controlled environment. Itâs tagged, framed, and has narrative context. You have access to things you would never have in real life: inner thoughts, psychological motivations, consequences, authorial intent, pacing, symbolism, and the ability to close the tab the second something stops being enjoyable. Thatâs why you can enjoy a dark or messy dynamic in fiction while knowing you would recoil from it in real life. There is nothing wrong with you for finding it hot here. There is also nothing wrong with you if you donât. Thatâs the whole point of tags. They are there so everyone can curate their own little emotional survival bunker.
In OFL, Taehyung is safe because he exists inside a closed fictional system where his toxicity is being examined, not excused. The story knows heâs a problem. Y/N knows heâs a problem. I know heâs a problem. The man himself may not know heâs a problem because self-awareness has not yet been installed in his software, but thatâs why weâre here. Character development must start somewhere, and unfortunately, his starting point is âCoke Zero with abs and audacity.â
So read him deeply. Read him thoroughly. Ask yourself why he thrives so much off attention. Ask yourself why Y/Nâs resistance makes him worse instead of making him back off. Ask yourself why being ignored feels unbearable to him. Ask yourself why he escalates when he feels dismissed. This man is not just horny. He is psychologically unwell with a Nike contract.
Anyway. I lost the thread of where I was going with this because I started yapping and then remembered I have actual government-adjacent work waiting for me like the worldâs least sexy jumpscare. Enjoy the chapter, my loves. Be kind to me, be kind to each other, respect the tags, and please pray for me while I return to tax hell at 1 a.m. on a Saturday.
Yes, this is my life. No, I am not okay. â€ïžïž
Team photo day is not, technically, a humanitarian crisis.
You know this. Intellectually. In the same way you know that traffic jams arenât actually designed to ruin your life and that the universe doesnât have a personal vendetta against you specifically.
And yet.
Here you are.
Seven forty-three in the morning, standing in front of your wardrobe, staring at nothing, eating pikotas out of the bag because you forgot to eat an actual breakfast and this is fine. This is completely fine. Youâre fine.
You are not fine.
Photo day at Valdebebas means the entire Real Madrid roster in one building for six consecutive hours while photographers and club PR staff run around like badly caffeinated border collies trying to herd twenty-two professional athletes who have, collectively, the attention span of a fly.Â
It means chaos. It means noise. It means approximately forty-seven different egos ricocheting off the same walls.
And it means him.
You should be in university right now. You would be in university right now if the universe had any sense of justice or basic narrative fairness, but instead youâre standing here in your bedroom at seven forty-three in the morning because your dad got a text last weekâlast week, youâd been living in blessed ignorance for seven whole daysâthat said all staff families invited for unity shots.
You remember reading it over his shoulder.
You remember the exact quality of silence that followed.
Your dadâs face did this thing it does sometimesâthat small, private kind of hopeful. Like heâd been handed something unexpected and was trying not to show how much he wanted it.Â
He didnât say anything.Â
Just set his phone down and went back to his coffee and was very, very carefully not looking at you.
And that was it.
That was the whole argument.
His stupid hopeful face.
You hate that face. You love that face. You would walk into a burning building for that face, which is essentially what youâre doing right now, except the building is Valdebebas and the fire is Kim Taehyungâs continued existence in your general vicinity.
You pull on a jacket. Check your phone. Ignore the three texts from Sofia, one of which is just a photo of her crying because dinosaurs went extinct that she sent at midnight for reasons you canât fully parse.
Thirty minutes later youâre in the car, your dad driving, and heâs telling you about some new taping technique he learned at a conference in Valencia and youâre nodding in the right places and looking out the window and thinking, with great specificity, about all the things Taehyung could theoretically have come down with in the last seven days that would justify his absence today.
The list is not short.
Food poisoning, obviously. Pulled hamstring. Mysterious rash. Some dignity-adjacent incident at one of those Marbella villas that requires him to stay indoors and reconsider his choices for a minimum of six to eight weeks. A sudden onset of good judgment. A personality transplant. An inconvenient restraining order from a woman with better self-preservation instincts than you.
Youâd take any of it.
Youâd honestly take all of it.
Your dad turns into the Valdebebas entrance and waves at the security booth, and the gate opens, and the facility swallows you like it always doesâthis sprawling, impeccable machine of professional football; clean lines and manicured grass and the kind of quiet institutional money thatâs visible in every single surface.
You hate how impressive it is.
Youâve spent most of your life in training facilities and you still canât do itâcanât fully make yourself unimpressed by places like this.Â
Barçaâs was better. Obviously.
But Valdebebas has its own kind of weight. The kind that comes from decades of titles and the particular arrogance of an institution that has never once doubted its own importance.
Your dad parks. Gets out. Straightens his jacket with that small professional pride he always has walking into work, this guy who spent twenty years at Barça and is somehow still excited to show up.
You follow him inside.
The main building is already busy in that specific controlled-chaos way that happens when a large number of people have been told to be somewhere at the same time. Staff in lanyards. Photographers setting up rigs. A PA with a clipboard and the haunted expression of someone who has already been on shift for two hours longer than the day technically started. Players filtering in by twos and threes, some in full kit, some mid-conversation, some still wearing the slightly glazed look of people who were definitely not in bed at a reasonable hour last night.
You recognize most of them by now.
Thatâs what happens when your dad works here. You learn faces, positions, which ones are approachable and which ones have a thirty-meter exclusion radius of ego that you should respect for your own wellbeing.
You already know which one falls in the second category.
Your dad spots someone from medical across the lobby and says something about finding you in ten minutes and then heâs gone, absorbed into the professional ecosystem, and you are standing alone in the main corridor with your tote bag and your pikotas and your complete lack of enthusiasm.
Right.
Elevator. Floor three. Find somewhere quiet and get through the next six hours without doing anything youâll need to explain to HR.
The elevator banks are at the end of the corridor, past the trophy casesâwhich, fine, are impressive, youâre not dead, you can acknowledge thatâand you walk toward them, hands in your jacket pockets, looking at your phone because looking at your phone is a universal signal that you do not want to be talked to and most adults in professional environments respect this.
You press the call button and wait. Check your messages. Sofiaâs meme is a photo of a man walking directly into a lake with the caption âme, going to anything I said I wouldnât go to.â You send back a thumbs up. Sheâll understand.
The elevator dings.
The doors open.
You step in without looking up, reaching for the button panel, and then you register the presence of another body already inside the elevator and your eyes lift on reflexâ
Kim Taehyung.
In full kit, looking like he walked out of a shoot that hasnât happened yet. Hair done. Chain sitting right. That specific quality of effortless that takes an annoying amount of effort. Holding a Coke Zero like itâs a prop.Â
And smirking.
That smirk.
The one that says âwell, well, look at this,â like your presence here is a delightful twist of fate rather than a logistical inevitability that youâve been dreading for seven days.
You stare at him.
He stares back.
The elevator doors slide closed behind you.
Right.
So. Thatâs where you are.
Trapped in an elevator with Kim Taehyung at seven fifty-eight in the morning before youâve had coffee, and the universe is clearly operating at full capacity today, fully committed to its bit, no notes.
You turn back to the panel. Press three. Face forward.
âGominola.â
He says it like heâs greeting an old friend. Like this is pleasant. Like you didnât spend seven days quietly hoping heâd contract something non-life-threatening but career-interruptive.
You face the doors.
âDonât talk to me.â
He doesnât respond.
Good. Excellent. Signs of personal growth, possibly.
Three seconds of silence.
âWonder if theyâre doing individual shirtless shots this year,â he says, conversationally, out loud. Into the air. âThe club kept that one from two seasons ago for like eighteen months, whichâI mean. Can you blame them.â
You stare at the doors.
âI said donât talk to me.â
âIâm not talking to you.â Completely unbothered. âIâm talking to myself.â
You have no response to that. Not because you donât have oneâyou have severalâbut because giving him one proves heâs talking to you, which he technically isnât, and he knows that, and heâs enjoying this.
He suddenly leans in, and your hand moves without fully consulting your brain.
It lands flat on his stomachâreflexive, stopping himâand the contact registers immediately. Cotton kit. Solid under your palm. Warm in a way thatâs distinctly inconvenient.
He goes still.
âMhm?â
One syllable. Pointed. Like heâs giving you time to prepare yourself.
âI was just going to press the button. You missed it.â
You turn your head just enough to glance at the panel.
Floor three.
Not lit.
You couldâve sworn you had pressed it?
He reaches past you with his free hand and presses 3.
The button lights up. Small. Red. Humiliating.
âThere,â he murmurs. âProud of us.â
You go to pull your hand back, but his fingers close around your wrist before you can, tight enough to keep your palm where it is, still flattened against his stomach through the thin training top, like this was all your idea and heâs simply honoring the decision.
You look down at his hand on your wrist.
Then up at him.
Then back at his hand, because maybe visual confirmation will make this feel less insane.Â
It does not.
âLet go.â
He doesnât.
Instead he turns just enough to lean his other forearmâthe one holding the Coke Zeroâagainst the wall beside your head, easy as anything, trapping space down to something stupidly narrow.Â
His chain catches the overhead light. So do his piercings. Of course they do. Every part of this man behaves like itâs in a campaign.
Heâs annoyingly close. You can smell the citrusy scent of his, landing somewhere behind your ribs, where it has no business being.Â
âWhat?â he says, glancing down at your hand on his abs and then back up. âSurprised?â
You blink at him.
He tilts his head, smugness in HD.
âThought youâd already seen them.â His mouth twitches. âIn your dadâs office. In the pool.â
âYeah,â you say. âAnd theyâre not impressive.â
There it is.
That reaction.
Tiny. Immediate. His teeth catch his lower lip and his whole expression shifts in a way that should probably be illegal before eight in the morning.Â
Not offended. Worse. Delighted.Â
Like you just tossed a match at a man made entirely of lighter fluid and ego.
âTheyâre not?â His voice drops a fraction. âYouâve spent an awful lot of time looking at them.â
You stare at him.
Do men like this come factory defective or is it environmental?
âDo you wake up and decide âyes, today I will be delusional,ââ you ask, âor does it come naturally to you?â
His thumb strokes once over the inside of your wrist.
Your pulse, because your body is a traitor with no loyalty to the cause, kicks directly against it.
He notices. Obviously.
âBit of both,â he says. âDepends how much attention I get before breakfast.â
âIncredible.â
âThank you.â
âThat wasnât a compliment.â
âEverything you say to me is a compliment.âÂ
He leans a fraction closer and the citrus hits harderânot cologne, not product, just him, that sharp clean lemon scent that clings to his skin like it was engineered in a lab specifically to piss you off.Â
âEven the insults. Especially the insults.â
Your jaw tightens. âYou need medication.â
âProbably.â Heâs not even pretending to disagree. âBut right now Iâm in an elevator with the prettiest girl in the building and sheâs touching my abs, so. Priorities.â
You ignore the prettiest girl part. You ignore it completely. You file it in the trash folder of your brain where all of his compliments go, the one labeled âperformative bullshitâdo not engage.â
âMaybe if you drank less soda youâd have something worth looking at, Coke.â
His eyebrows go up.
âOh.â He leans in a touch more, pleased in a deeply irritating way. âI got promoted?â
You frown. âHm?â
âFrom Coke-boy to Coke.â His mouth curves. âWow. Weâre stripping me of gender now? Iâm just an object now. A concept. A beverage.â
You deadpan at him. "If you want, I can make it simpler."
"Please do."
You hold his gaze when you say it. "Zero."
That really does something. Not visibly, not in any way a normal person would catch, but you're not a normal person when it comes to him. Unfortunately. Â
The tiny flare in his eyes. The way his tongue presses once against the inside of his cheek. The little almost-smile he has to bite back because apparently being insulted is his favorite hobby after staring at himself in reflective surfaces.
Seriously. Medical journals should be lining up outside his house.
âZero,â he repeats.
âMhm.â
âBecause of the drink?â he asks.
âPartly.â
âAnd the other part?â
You hold his gaze. âUse your imagination.â
âOh, I do.â His voice goes rough around the edges. âConstantly, actually.â
You ignore that with the dignity of a woman refusing to acknowledge a public indecency.
âIt suits you,â you say. âCoke Zero. Zero nutritional value. Zero restraint. Zero redeeming qualities.â
He almost laughs. You can see him trying not to.
Instead he says, quietly amused, âZero? Seriously, Gomi? Thatâs mean.â
âYou sound insulted.â
âI am.â
Heâs not.
He's absolutely not.
That's not what insulted looks like. That's what horny looks like, and you know the difference, and he knows you know the difference, and the whole thing is deeply, profoundly stupid.
His grip on your wrist shifts.
Your handâstill on his stomach, still pressed against that warm cottonâstarts to move. Downward. Slow.
"Really, genuinely insulted."
Lower.
Past the hem of his kit. Past the elastic.
"Keep moving that hand," you say, very calm, very level, "and see what happens."
He goes still.
Then his eyes drop.
To your mouth.
"You know that makes me wanna do it more, right?"
He says it like he's sharing a fun fact. Like this is trivia night and he's contributing.
"So being pushy is your whole thing," you say. "Good to know. Something you should probably discuss with a psychologist."
"Psychologists are fake."
"That's notâ"
"Made up. Whole field. Scam."
"You can't justâ"
"Moving on."
Suddenly his grip on your wrist tightens and he pulls your palm down and presses it flat against his crotchâ
And he's hard.
Fully hard. Zero ambiguity about what you're feelingâthe thick, obvious shape of his cock straining against fabric, hot under your palm, and your brain processes this information in approximately point-three seconds before your body reacts on pure animal instinct.
You yank your hand back like you've touched a burner.
And shove him.
Both palms, flat against his chest, hard enough that he staggers backward two full steps, his shoulder blades hitting the elevator wall with a thud that makes the Coke Zero slosh in the can.
"Are you insane?"
Your voice comes out sharper than you intended. Pitched higher. Not flusteredâyou do not get flusteredâbut something adjacent to it that you refuse to name and will be taking to your grave.
Taehyung doesn't look sorry.
Taehyung looks like Christmas came early and brought him personally wrapped gifts.
He's laughing. This low, rough chuckle that sounds like it's being dragged out of him against his better judgmentâif he had better judgment, which he doesn't, which has been firmly established.
"What?" He's still grinning, rubbing the spot on his chest where you shoved him with his free hand, not remotely bothered. "You've felt it against your pussy once already. Figured we were past the formalities."
Your mouth opens.
Closes.
Opens again.
Nothing comes out.
Because what do you say to that?
What is the appropriate verbal response to a man referencing the time he ground his erection against you in your father's treatment room while you're trapped in a moving elevator in a professional football facility at eight in the morning?!
Emily Post didn't write a chapter on this.
The elevator dings.
Floor three.
The doors slide open and reality floods back inâfluorescent lighting, corridor noise, the distant sound of someone yelling about lighting setupsâand you stand there, pulse hammering, while the world outside the elevator continues to exist as if the last ninety seconds didn't just happen.
Taehyung straightens up. Adjusts his kit. Takes a sip of his Coke Zero with the calm of a man who did not just place your hand on his dick in a shared vertical transit space.
He steps out.
Pauses.
Turns.
And throws you the V sign.
Two fingers. Lazy. That same gesture from the party, the one that started all of this, and his tongue presses against the inside of his cheek as he does it, and his eyes hold yours for exactly long enough to make his point before he turns and walks down the corridor like nothing happened.
You stare at the closed doors.
Blink once.
Twice.
"What the fuck," you say, to no one, in an empty elevator, at eight in the morning.
Your hand smells like his kit.
You wipe it on your jacket.
It doesn't help.
Youâve been here eleven minutes.Â
You know this because youâve been counting, the way you count everything when youâre stuck somewhere you donât want to beâminutes, ceiling tiles, the number of times the PR coordinator says âteamâ (four so far).
Youâre keeping a tally in the margin of your notebook next to your actual notes, which are sparse and getting sparser because this whole thing is a glorified logistics briefing disguised as a team bonding exercise and you are not on this team.
Youâre the physioâs daughter.
Youâre here because âstaff families invited for unity shotsâ apparently translates to âsit in a room for an hour while someone explains lighting arrangements like itâs a NATO summit.â
There are about fifteen people in here. Players scattered across the sectional couches and chairs, a few WAGs, some PR staff, two photographers who keep checking their light meters like nervous pilots.Â
Your dadâs somewhere on the other side of the room talking to the head coachâs assistant about rotator cuff protocols, because he is constitutionally incapable of not working even when heâs technically off-duty.
Youâve got a seat at the end of the long couch, notebook open, pen moving, foot tapping a rhythm against the floor thatâs half concentration and half residual irritation from the elevator incident that you are not thinking about.
You are not thinking about it.
You are taking notes.
Professional, organized, here-for-her-dad notes about photo scheduling and where staff families are supposed to stand during the group shots andâ
A body drops onto the couch next to you.
Not across the room, where there are at least four empty seats. Not on the chair by the window, which is free and far away and wouldâve been the choice of any person with functioning spatial awareness and a basic respect for personal boundaries.
Next to you.
Right next to you.
His thigh settles approximately two millimeters from yours.Â
You donât look up.
Donât react.
Just keep writing.
The PR coordinator is explaining something about backdrop options for the individual portraitsâwhite versus grey, apparently this is a debate that requires committee inputâand you are focused on that. Entirely focused. One hundred percent of your attention on backdrop discourse.
Something crinkles.
You glance sidewaysâreflex, not choiceâand watch Taehyung reach into the pocket of his training jacket and pull out a small bag of pikotas.
Your pikotas.
Not your literal pikotas. But your candy. Your thing. The sour-sweet cherry gummies that you keep in your tote and your nightstand and your jacket pockets because theyâre yours, theyâve been yours since you were twelve, and now this man is sitting next to you in a professional meeting eating them like theyâre his.
He pops one into his mouth. Chews. Doesnât look at you.
âWhere did you get those.â
It comes out before you can help it. Flat, but with an edge of genuine confusion, because pikotas arenât exactly standard vending machine fare and youâve never once seen them in the Valdebebas canteen.
He finally glances at you. Chewing. Taking his time about it. Extracting every possible second of enjoyment from both the candy and your face.
âYouâd be surprised,â he says, âthe kind of contacts Madrid players have.â
âContacts.â
âMm.â Another pikota. He makes a small show of examining the bag, turning it over like heâs reading the nutritional information. âSmuggling around kidsâ candy. Whole underground network. Very serious operation.â
âMust be one hell of a job. Your braincells survive the mission?â
âIâm a man of many talents, Gomi.â He sucks the sugar off his thumb. Casual. Not looking at you. âSome of them are even legal.â
âName one.â
âI just located and acquired your favorite candy within a fifteen-kilometer radius of a high-security football facility using nothing but my charm and a phone call.â He tilts the bag toward you. Offering. âThatâs basically espionage.â
âThatâs basically sad.â
âAnd yet.â He pulls the bag back, pops another one, and faces forward again. âYouâre still talking to me about it.â
You turn back to your notebook.
Write nothing.
The meeting continues. Backdrop: grey wins. Schedule: roster goes first, staff families after lunch. Individual shots: alphabetical by surname, so Taehyungâs somewhere in the middle, which means heâll be hanging around the facility for hours with nothing to do, which means heâll be hanging around you for hours with nothing to do, which means today is going to be the longest day of your life and you havenât even had coffee yet.
His knee taps yours.
Light. Brief. Could be accidental.
You shift your leg away.
Thirty seconds pass.
Tap.
You clench your jaw. Move your leg again.
Twenty seconds.
Tap.
This time it lingersâhis knee pressing against the side of yours, holding contact for a full beat before pulling back.
You stare at your notebook. The words on the page have stopped meaning anything. Youâre looking at your own handwriting and seeing hieroglyphics because your entire cognitive capacity has been rerouted to the single point of contact where his knee keeps finding yours like a homing missile with a personal grudge.
Tap.
Is he braindead?
Tap.
Is he actually, clinically, medically braindead? Because thatâs the only explanation. Some kind of neurological event has occurred and the part of his brain responsible for reading social cues and understanding the concept of âstopâ has been permanently deactivated.
Tap.
You could choke him. Right here. In this room. In front of fifteen people and a PR coordinator and two photographers. You could put your hands around his throat and squeeze and youâd feel nothingâno guilt, no remorse, just the deep, abiding satisfaction of a woman who has reached her absolute limit with a man who thinks his proximity is a gift.
Tap.
Who does he think he is? Genuinely. Is this the approach? Touch the girl, annoy the girl, be so relentlessly, suffocatingly present that eventually she breaks from sheer exhaustion? Is this what works on other women? Does he tap their knees in meetings and they justâwhat? Swoon? Melt? Decide that yes, being subtly harassed during a photo day logistics briefing is the romantic overture theyâve been waiting for?
Tap.
God. God, Kim Taehyung is a test. A full-blown, divinely orchestrated trial of patience. God really said âmen are insufferable and hereâs one to prove it. Hereâs the thesis statement with abs and a Coke Zero habit and zeroâliterally zeroâunderstanding of the word no.â
What did you do in your previous life?Â
It mustâve been bad. You mustâve burned down a convent or kicked a dog or committed some deeply specific sin that the universe decided could only be atoned for through repeated, sustained exposure to this manâs right kneecap.
Tap.
Karma. Thatâs what this is. Cosmic, targeted, inescapable karma.
Tap.
Fucking stupid attention-seekingâ
âStop.â
You say it through your teeth. Quiet. Just for him.
He doesnât stop.
Tap.
His face is pointed at the front of the room. Attentive. Invested. Like heâs absorbing every single word about photo resolution requirements and has never been more intellectually stimulated.
Tap.
Fine.
You swing your knee sideways and crack it into his.
Hard.
Not a tap. Not a nudge. A full, mean, retaliatory strike that connects with the side of his kneecap with enough force that his whole leg jolts.
He snorts.
Tries to cover itâbadlyâpressing his fist against his mouth, shoulders shaking, this strangled sound escaping through his fingers thatâs somewhere between a laugh and a cough.
Heads turn. Half the room glances over.
Taehyung clears his throat, fist still against his mouth, and nods at nobody in particular.Â
âSorry. Cough. Just aââ He thumps his chest once. ââtickle in the throat. Carry on.â
The PR coordinator blinks, adjusts her glasses, and continues talking about file format preferences.
Heads turn back.
You want to dissolve into the couch cushions and cease to exist.
Heâs eating another pikota. Chewing with that self-satisfied rhythm of a man who just won a round and knows it.
Silence.
Blessed, temporary silence.
Forty-five seconds of peace in which you try to re-engage with the meeting, try to remember why youâre here, try to reconnect with the version of yourself that walked into this building this morning with functional blood pressure and the will to live.
Then he starts bouncing his knee.
Not the tapping. The bouncing. That full-leg rhythmic jitter that some people do when theyâre restless, except heâs doing it at a frequency that vibrates through the couch cushion and directly into your thigh and itâs like sitting next to a human jackhammer.
Your pen stops moving.
You look at his leg.
Look at him.
Heâs staring straight ahead. Chewing a pikota. Bouncing. Completely at peace with himself and the chaos heâs introducing into your nervous system.
You donât think about it.
Your hand drops to his thigh and you dig your nails in.
Four fingers and a thumb, pressing into the muscle hard enough to anchor his leg to the couch and stop the vibration dead.
The effect is immediate.
His breath catchesâaudible, quick, a sound that has no business existing in a meeting roomâand his head tips back. His arms go up, stretching overhead, spine arching slightly, and the groan that comes out of him is disguised as a stretch noise but itâs not a stretch noise and you know itâs not a stretch noise and he knows you know.
Every single head in the room turns again.
âJustââ His voice is rougher than it should be. He rolls his shoulders, committing to the bit. âTight. From training. Sorry.â
The PR coordinator looks like sheâs reconsidering her career choices.
You remove your hand from his thigh like itâs radioactive.
He looks at you.
That grin.
That absolute shit-eating, fully unrepentant, âI-just-made-a-noise-in-a-meeting-room-because-you-hurt-me-and-I-liked-itâ grin.
Your face is hot. Your ears are hot. Your entire body has decided to betray you by turning the exact shade of the pikotas he keeps eating, and you grip your pen so hard the plastic creaks.
He pops another pikota into his mouth.
Winks.
You are going to kill him. You are going to kill him and plead temporary insanity and every woman on the jury will acquit you.
The meeting wraps up approximately nine years later.
People start standing, gathering bags, fragmenting into side conversations. The PR coordinator distributes printed schedules. Someone mentions lunch. Normal, functional, human behavior happening all around you while you sit rigid on the couch thinking about the thirty-six different ways you could commit a crime and get away with it.
Taehyung shifts next to you. Doesnât stand. Tilts his body toward yours, dropping his voice low enough that the words are just for you.
âIâm gonna be honest with you, Gomi.â Barely above a breath. âI didnât hear a single word of that briefing.â
You stare at him.
âI have zero idea whatâs happening for the photos. No clue. None. My entire blood supply wasââ He makes a vague gesture downward. ââelsewhere. The whole time.â
âThat sounds like a you problem.â
âIt is a me problem.â He nods. Solemn. Completely unbothered. âA really pressing me problem.â
âThen go figure it out.â
âI was hoping my favorite physioâs daughter would brief me.â
âBriefly:Â no.â
âGomiââ
You stand up. Grab your bag. Your schedule. The remains of your composure, which are admittedly scattered across the floor of this briefing room like debris.
âYour mess. Your cleanup. Iâm not your personal assistant.â
âYouâre really gonna leave me here?â He tips his head back against the couch, looking up at you with an expression of a kicked puppy. âConfused and alone?â
âThriving and unbothered, actually.â
Youâve taken exactly two steps toward the door when Namjoon appears.
Heâs holding a coffeeâactual coffee, from the good machine on the second floorâand heâs got that easy, slightly disheveled energy he always has, glasses slightly askew, turtleneck doing its turtleneck thing.Â
He smiles when he sees you.
âHey. How wasââ
âDonât ask.â
âThat bad?â
âWorse.â
He chuckles, and youâre about to ask him if he wants to grab food after the family shots whenâ
âIs that your boyfriend?â
You stop walking.
Turn around slowly.
Taehyungâs still on the couch, sprawled, one arm stretched across the backrest, looking at Namjoon with an expression thatâs technically neutral and functionally anything but.
You open your mouth to tell him thatâs none of his business, that he doesnât get to ask you that, that the concept of your personal life should be as inaccessible to him as basic human decency apparently isâ
âAnd what if I am?â
Namjoonâs voice. Calm. Even. Standing right beside you with his coffee and his turtleneck and an expression youâve never seen on him beforeâsteady and unbothered and looking directly at Taehyung like heâs got all day.
Taehyung simply looks at Namjoon from the couch, that sprawled-out posture, and thereâs a beatâtwo, three secondsâwhere they just hold each otherâs gaze. Weighing. Measuring.
Then Taehyung raises both hands. Palms out. That universal gesture of surrender that means nothing when it comes from him.
âMy bad, dude.â Easy. Disarming. A smile that shows too many teeth. âDidnât know.â
Namjoon doesnât respond. Just holds the look for another second. Then turns to you.
âReady?â
You pick up your tote strap, adjust it on your shoulder. âLetâs go.â
You make it three steps toward the door.
âYo, dude!â
Both hands cupped around his mouth. Full volume. The kind of voice projection you use in stadiums, not conference rooms.
You both half turn, looking over shoulders.
âYou better watch her.â
The smile that follows is the kind that could mean anything and definitely means something, and you grab Namjoonâs arm and pull him through the door before your face can give him any reaction at all.
The photo shoot is a circus and no one brought a tent.
Youâre watching from behind the lighting rigs, tucked into one of those folding chairs they set up for families and staff, doing an excellent impression of someone who belongs here while internally calculating how many minutes until you can leave.
The roster shots are happening on the main pitch backdropâthat massive club crest banner theyâve rolled out like a red carpet for egosâand the photographer, a tiny woman with a headset, is trying to organize twenty-two professional athletes into neat rows.
Itâs going about as well as youâd expect.
âMarco. MarcoâI need you in the second row.â
âThe second row?â Marco says it like she just asked him to stand in the car park. âBro, my jawline doesnât hit right from the second row. Thereâs a shadow thing. Itâs an Italian bone structure issue.â
âItâs a height issue,â the photographer says flatly. âYouâre five-eleven. Second row.â
âFive-eleven and three quartersââ
âSecond row, Mr. Santelli.â
Leo, whoâs already been placed in the second row, looks unreasonably pleased about this development. âWelcome to my world.â
âShut up, Leo.â
âIâm just sayingââ
âI said shut up.â
âThe second rowâs not that badââ
âLeo, if you finish that sentence, I will tell Sofia what you said about her cooking last Tuesday.â
Leo shuts up.
The photographer repositions. Adjusts angles. Asks the first row to square their shoulders. Asks the third row to stop slouching. Asks Gabriel to pleaseâpleaseâtake the AirPods out.
âSorry, sorryââ Gabriel yanks them out, grinning that impossible grin that makes everyone forgive him immediately. âI was listening to something.â
âDuring the team photo?â
âIt was a good song.â He says it like thatâs a perfectly valid excuse.Â
To be fair, for Gabriel, it probably is.
Sergio, standing front and center because heâs the captain and thatâs his spot and nobody has ever once questioned this, pinches the bridge of his nose.
âCan we justââ He gestures at the group with the resigned authority of a man whoâs done this forty times and it never gets easier. âCan we just take the photo. Please. One photo. Without anyone talking.â
âBold of you to assume we know how to be quiet,â Marco says.
âIâm not assuming. Iâm begging.â
âThatâs sad, captain.â
âYour existence is sad, Marco. Smile.â
The photographer counts down. Three, twoâ
Taehyung bumps Marcoâs shoulder. Hard enough to knock him sideways half a step.
Marco bumps him back.
Taehyung catches himself on Leo, who wasnât involved but is now stumbling into MatĂas, who turns around with the expression of a man contemplating violence.
âCan we PLEASEââ The photographerâs voice has reached a frequency that could shatter crystal. ââtake ONE photo where EVERYONE is looking at the camera and NOBODY is assaulting each other?â
Silence.
Twenty-two players stare forward.
Click.
âThank god,â the photographer mutters.
âThatâs gonna be a good one,â Marco announces to nobody. âI felt it in my bones.â
âYou felt my elbow in your bones,â Taehyung says.
âSame thing.â
The photographer waves them off for a break while she checks the shots, and the formation dissolves immediately into chaosâplayers scattering, grabbing water, checking phones.
Leo drifts toward Marco and Taehyung like a satellite pulled by gravity, and within thirty seconds theyâre clustered near the lighting rig to your left, close enough that you can hear every word whether you want to or not.
You do not want to.
You hear them anyway.
ââIâm just saying, the grey backdrop washes me out,â Marcoâs saying, scrolling through his phone. âThey shouldâve gone with black. Black makes everyone look ten percent hotter. Thatâs science.â
âThatâs not science,â Leo says.
âIt is. I read it somewhere.â
âYou donât read.â
âI read captions, Leo. Captions count.â
Taehyungâs leaning against the rig, arms crossed, looking bored in the way he always looks bored when heâs actually paying attention to everything. His eyes drift across the roomâcasual, unhurriedâand you know the exact moment they land on you because you feel it the way you feel a change in air pressure.
You donât look up.
Keep reading your schedule.
âAlright, individual portraits next!â The photographerâs assistantâthe PA with the clipboard and the thousand-yard stareâstarts calling names. âAlphabetical by surname. Weâre starting withââ
âExcuse me.â Xaviâs voice cuts through the noise. Not loud. Never loud. Just that specific frequency that makes every player in a thirty-meter radius instinctively straighten up. âBefore individualsâcan we address the team photo situation?â
Heâs looking at the Chaos Coalition.
All three of them.
That look. Youâve seen your dad give itâthe one that doesnât need words because the disappointment is doing all the heavy lifting.
âThe team photo,â Xavi repeats, âis the image the club uses for the entire season. It goes on the website. On posters. On merchandise. And you threeââ He gestures with a water bottle. ââturned it into a playground fight.â
âIt was a nudge,â Marco says.
âIt was unprofessional.â
âXaviââ
âThis represents the club.â Xaviâs voice doesnât rise. It doesnât need to. Heâs got that Andalusian calm that makes everything sound both reasonable and devastating. âThe club that pays your salaries. That gave you a platform. The least you can do is stand still for eight seconds.â
Silence.
Marco blinks.
Leo stares at his shoes.
Taehyung tongues the inside of his cheek, jaw shifting, not saying a word.
Xavi holds the look for another two secondsâjust to make sure it landsâthen nods once and walks back toward the photographer, water bottle in hand, posture perfect, the absolute picture of professionalism.
The moment his back is turned, all three of them huddle closer.
âLook at him,â Marco mutters, barely moving his lips. âBeing all⊠Xavi-like.â
âI mean,â Leo whispers back, âhe is Xavi.â
âYes but when I say Xavi-like I mean it as an insult, Leo. Focus.â
âRight. Sorry.â
Taehyung glances over his shoulderâchecks Xaviâs positionâthen turns back. âDid you hear him? âThe club that pays your salaries.â Like I donât know who pays my salary. Iâm very aware of who pays my salary. My salary is excellent.â
âIâm so done with the salary lecture.â Marco shakes his head, solemn. âTop three worst moves. Right behind the âyou represent something bigger than yourselvesâ speech.â
âOh god,â Leo groans. âThat oneâs the worst.â
âItâs so bad.â
ââSomething bigger than yourselves,ââ Taehyung mimics, dropping his voice into Xaviâs measured cadence, chin lifted, an invisible water bottle in hand. ââEvery action you take reflects on this institution.ââ
Marco snorts. Covers his mouth.
ââThe crest on your chest isnât decoration,ââ Marco adds, doing his own Xavi impressionâslower, one hand pressed to his heart. ââItâs a responsibility. A privilege. Aâââ
âââa legacy,ââ Leo finishes, and all three of them mouth the word at the same time, like theyâve heard it four hundred times, which they probably have.
âAt least the salary oneâs short,â Taehyung concedes. âIn, out, done. The âbigger than yourselvesâ thing? That oneâs got layers. He builds to it. Thereâs a crescendo.â
âThereâs eye contact,â Marco adds, haunted. âHe makes eye contact with every single person in the room.â
âIndividually.â
âIndividually.â
âSeriously, heâs all likeââ Marco straightens up slightly, adjusts an imaginary collar. ââLook at me. Iâm Xavi. Iâm morally superior because Iâve been in a relationship with someone who actually loves me for eight years and we just got engaged and Iâve never once thought about another woman because Iâm built differentâââ
âThat one feels personal,â Leo says.
âIt is personal.â Marco frowns. âImagine being in love with the same person. Forever. Voluntarily.â
He shudders. Full body. Like the concept of monogamy is a physical affliction.
âSome people like that,â Leo says, carefully.
âSome people like eating plain rice, Leo. Doesnât make it a personality.â
Taehyung snorts.
âLike, bro, the wedding?â Marco continues, eyes widening. âHave you seen the Pinterest board? Elena showed Isabella. There are mood boards. Plural. One for table settings. One for flowers. One forâget thisânapkin folds.â
âNapkin folds,â Taehyung repeats.
âSpecific napkin folds. There are apparently seven kinds and Elena has opinions about all of them.â
âAnd the water bottle thing too,â Leo mutters. âLike even his hydration is morally superior.â
âFor real,â Taehyung says. âItâs like watching a documentary about discipline.â
âHeâd make a great priest,â Leo offers.
âHeâd make a great principal.â
âHeâd make a great my-dad-when-I-got-bad-gradesââ
Xavi looks over from across the room. Just a glance. Just a flicker of those dark eyes in their direction, chin lifting slightly, the way a lion turns its head when it hears rustling in the grass.
All three of them snap forward simultaneously.
Marco grabs his water bottle and drinks with aggressive innocence. Leo suddenly finds the ceiling fascinating. Taehyung pulls out his phone and stares at a blank screen with the focus of a man reading breaking news.
Nobody speaks.
Nobody breathes.
Xavi holds the look for three full seconds.
Then turns back to his conversation with Rafael.
Marco exhales through his teeth. âClose one.â
âHeâs got eyes everywhere,â Leo whispers. âItâs like he can hear us thinking.â
âItâs the goalkeeper training,â Taehyung says, still fake-scrolling. âPeripheral vision. They see everything.â
âWe should spread out,â Leo suggests. âLook natural.â
âWe are naturalââ
âWe look like weâre planning a heistââ
âOkay, next please!â The photographerâs voice cuts across the room.Â
Alexandre peels himself off the wall with the enthusiasm of a man walking to his own execution, and the room reshuffles again.
Youâve been watching all of this.
You didnât mean to, but itâs impossibleâgenuinely, physically impossibleânot to watch three grown men who earn more in a week than most people earn in a year act like twelve-year-olds who got told off by a substitute teacher.
The Xavi impression was good, though.
Youâre not going to admit that to anyone.
The next hour passes in a blur of flash photography and fragile egos. Players cycle through individual shotsâsome take thirty seconds, some take fifteen minutes because they keep asking to see the screen and requesting different angles. Marco insists on a reshoot because his âjawline wasnât catching the light.â Taehyung, predictably, nails his in one take and walks away like he couldnât care less.Â
You saw him check the preview screen twice, though.Â
He cared.
Your dad appears around noon, coffee in hand, looking pleased in that quiet way he gets when work is going well.
âFotos de familia ahora, cariño.â (Family photos now, sweetheart.) He squeezes your shoulder. âSolo un par. RĂĄpido.â (Just a couple. Quick.)
You close your notebook. Stand. Smooth down your jacket.
This is the part youâve been dreading. Not the photos themselvesâyou can survive standing next to your dad and smiling for a camera. Youâve done it a thousand times, at a thousand Barça events, in a thousand corridors that smelled like medical tape and belonging.
Itâs the context.
Staff families means youâre part of the Madrid machine now. Officially. Documented. Filed away in some PR folder as evidence of team unity and institutional warmth.
The photographerâs set up a new backdropâwarmer lighting, softer focus, the kind of setup designed to make everyone look approachable and human. Staff members are filing in with partners, kids, the occasional bemused-looking teenager who clearly got dragged here against their will.
You know the feeling.
Your dad steers you toward the cluster forming near the backdrop, his hand on your shoulder, already talking to one of the assistant coaches about someoneâs hamstring.
The photographerâs assistant is arranging people into loose groupings. Staff on the left. Families on the right. Players who are part of the âunity shotsâ scattered in between for that curated weâre-all-one-big-family aesthetic that clubs love and nobody believes.
You end up near the edge of the group. Reasonable. Safe. Far enough from the center that youâre visible but not prominent. Your dadâs beside you, already in position, radiating that calm professional warmth that makes everyone around him stand a little straighter.
This is fine.
You adjust your jacket. Fix your hair. Prepare the faceâneutral, pleasant, the expression of a person who is here by choice and not because her fatherâs career depends on institutional goodwill.
And thenâsomeone stepping into the space to your left where nobody was standing three seconds ago.
You feel it before you register it.Â
That faint edge of citrus that your nose has started recognizing against your will.
His hand touches your lower back.
Light. Brief. Fingertips pressing through the fabric of your jacket, just below your shoulder blade, the kind of contact that could be dismissed as guidance. Positioning. Moving you into frame the way anyone might move anyone during a group photo.
Except his fingers linger.
One beat too long.
Two.
His palm flattens. Settles against the curve of your spine.
And stays.
âChin up, Gomi,â he murmurs, voice low enough that only you hear it. âYou look like youâre at a funeral.â
You donât turn your head. Donât look at him. Just face the camera with your expression locked in place and your back burning where his hand sits.
The photographer raises her camera.
âEveryoneâsmile!â
You do.
Itâs late when the whole nightmare is finally over.Â
The light through the hallway is going amber, that low-angle afternoon thing that happens when a dayâs been going on too long and the building itself seems tired of hosting people.Â
Most of the photo shoot chaos has been packed up. The photographer left an hour ago. Staff families filtered out after that, then the WAGs, then the players in staggered groupsâsome to the gym, some to their cars, some to whatever shiny nightlife commitment makes them feel alive after eight hours of being professionally agreeable.
Youâre still here because your dadâs still here. Because your dad is always still here, because JesĂșs does not leave a facility until every piece of equipment is accounted for and every clipboard is initialed and every surface has been wiped down to his personal standard of medical-grade cleanliness.
Which means youâre in the closet.
Not metaphorically. Literally in the storage room off the main physio corridor, reaching for the electrode cables your dad asked you to grab from the top shelf because they migrated during the chaos of today and now theyâre wedged behind a box of resistance bands that someone shoved up there with the spatial awareness of a drunk giraffe.
Your fingers graze the edge of the box. Miss the cables by about four centimeters.
You stretch higher. Your jacket rides up. Your shoulder protests.
Seriously. This shelf is just unreasonably placed, designed by someone who assumed that everyone who uses this room is three meters tall and plays professional football.
You stretch again. Fingertips brush plastic. Almostâ
A hand reaches past you.
Long arm. Over your shoulder. Fingers closing around the cable bundle and pulling it down with zero effort, like the shelf is at eye level and not somewhere near the ceiling.
The smell hits you before the identity does.
Lemons.
That specific scent that isnât cologne, isnât soap, isnât anything you can pin to a productâitâs just Kim Taehyung. The way his skin smells after a full day. Bright and tangy and warm in a way that makes your throat do something inconvenient.
He always smells like lemons, doesnât he?
Youâre not a citrus girl. Never have been. You donât squeeze lemon into your water or order limoncello or buy those yellow cleaning products that smell like summer kitchens.
But right now, standing in a storage closet with his arm still extended past your head and his chest approximately four inches from your back, the lemon thing isâ
Present.
Very present.
He drops the cables into your hand.
âHere.â
You take them. Step sideways, putting distance between you and whatever just happened in your olfactory system.
âThanks.â
He shrugs. Moves back. Leans against the opposite shelf with that particular brand of engineered casualness that he doesâarms folded, one ankle crossed over the other, like he ended up here by accident and not because he walked into a storage closet that he has absolutely no reason to be in.
You look at him.
He looks at you.
The silence sits there for a second, the same way that happens at the end of a very long day when everyoneâs used up all their performance energy and thereâs nothing left but the actual person underneath.
âYou look tired,â he says.
âWow.â You donât miss a beat. âCharming.â
âI meanââ He pauses. His jaw works slightly, like heâs chewing on the next word before releasing it. âThis kind of day is exhausting. The performing.â
You donât respond immediately.
Because thatâsâ
Thatâs not a line.Â
Thatâs not a setup for something.Â
Thereâs no smirk chasing the sentence, no innuendo tucked into the pause, no gleam in his eye that says gotcha.Â
Heâs just standing there, looking at you, and his voice sounds different. Flatter. Stripped of the usual coating.
Tired, actually.
He looks tired too. Not the kind of tired that makes people uglyâbecause the universe wouldnât grant you that mercyâbut the kind that shows in the looseness of his posture.Â
The way his shoulders sit lower than usual.Â
The faint shadow under his eyes that his bone structure almost hides but not quite.
âYouâd know,â you say. Quieter than you intended.
âYeah.â He holds your gaze. âI would.â
Something passes between you. Brief. Unnamed. The kind of thing that happens when two people who spend all their time performing accidentally stop at the same time and realize theyâre both just standing there without a script.
Thenâ
âSo you perform too.â
His mouth shifts. Not a grin. Something smaller. More knowing.
âThought you were above that.â
The sincerity evaporates like a puddle in July.
âMeaning?â Your defenses snap back online. Immediate. Automatic.
âMeaningââ He tilts his head, that half-interested expression settling over his features. ââI put my hand on your back during the photos. Right there. Full palm.â He makes a vague gesture. âAnd you just⊠stood there.â
âBecause we were being photographed.â
âBecause you were performing.â He says it like heâs delighted by the discovery. âAfter the meetingâafter theââÂ
He mimes clawing fingers.
Nails digging into a thigh.Â
Your nails. His thigh.Â
ââthat whole thing, I was expecting you to turn around and stomp on my foot. Elbow to the ribs. Something.â
âI didnât want to cause a scene.â
âYou always want to cause a scene. You charged fifteen grand to my card at a party.â
âThat was different.â
âHow?â
âThat was revenge. The photo was just logistics.â
âLogistics.â He repeats the word like itâs amusing. Like itâs a candy heâs rolling around his mouth. âRight. My hand on your back was logistics.â
âIt was.â
âAnd you letting it stay there?â
âTolerance.â
âTolerance,â he echoes. His eyes narrow. âSee, Gomi, I donât buy that.â
âI donât care what you buy.â
âBecause I thinkââ He pushes off the shelf. Doesnât step closer. Just shifts his weight forward in a way that makes the room feel smaller. ââyou liked it.â
âI tolerated it.â
âYou tolerated my hand on your back but tried to puncture my femoral artery with your fingernails forty-five minutes earlier?â
âYes.â
âThose are mixed signals.â
âThose are boundaries. One was a briefing room where you were being insufferable. The other was a photo where pulling away wouldâve looked weird.â
âMm.â Heâs almost smiling now. Containing it. Barely. âSo you didnât pull away because of optics.â
âCorrect.â
âNot because my hand felt good.â
âYour hand felt like a hand. Congratulations on having one.â
He bites back whateverâs threatening to break across his face.Â
You can see itâthe way his jaw locks, the way his cheek hollows slightly with the effort of not grinning.
âOkay,â he says. âFair. But the nails thing.â
âWhat about it.â
âI liked that.â
You stare at him. âYou liked that you almost got caught making sex noises in a briefing.â
âI liked the nails thing, Gomgom.â
No lead-up. No cushioning.Â
He just drops it into the air between you like itâs a reasonable contribution to a conversation between two people standing in a storage closet.
âGood for you.â
âI meanâIâm used to scratches.â He tilts his head, rolling one shoulder back like heâs remembering something specific, something physical. âMy backâs basically a canvas at this point. Comes with the territory.â
âDisgusting.â
âSo like, not news.â He doesnât even register the insult. Just keeps going, the way a train keeps going when someone throws a pebble at it. âGirls scratch. It happens. Standard operating procedure. But youââÂ
He points at you. One finger.Â
"âyou scratched me like you were actually trying to get to the bone.â
âBecause I was trying to get to the bone.â
ââand that was so hot, Gomi.â His voice drops, rough, as if the memoryâs doing something to him in real time. âLike, fuck. Thatâs all I could think about for the rest of that meeting.â
âExplains why you got nothing out of it.â
âExactly! See?â He spreads his hands. Beaming. âWe get each other.â
âWe absolutely do not get each other.â
âYouâre right.â He nods, solemn, like heâs reconsidering his position and arriving at a new conclusion. âI think we should get to know each other. In my room. My bed, specifically. So you can add those scratches to my back. For real this time.â
There it is.
The proposition. Delivered with all the subtlety of a billboard on the M-30 and twice the confidence.
In a normal settingâon a normal dayâwith a normal amount of patience left in your reserves, youâd say âI donât want to knowâ or âwhat the fuck is wrong with youâ or even a mere âboy, whateverâ and walk out and that would be the end of it. Clean exit. Dignity intact. The mature response of a woman who does not engage with men who proposition her in storage closets after photo days.
But itâs not a normal day.
And Taehyung is not a normal person.Â
And itâs been a twelve-hour day of performing and tolerating and sitting next to his stupid bouncing knee and feeling his stupid hand on your stupid back and smelling his stupid lemon smell and you are fed up.Â
Past fed up. Beyond it.Â
Somewhere in the territory where irritation curdles into recklessness and your mouth stops consulting your brain before opening.
âYou wouldnât last long enough,â you say, âto get me to scratch you.â
The room goes very still.
Taehyungâs face does something youâve never seen it do.
It goes blank.
Completely, totally blankâevery expression wiped clean for a full second, like his operating system just crashed and is rebooting.Â
His mouth is slightly open.Â
His eyes are fixed on you with the intensity of a man who just heard something in a language he didnât know he spoke.
Then the reboot completes.
And the grin that spreads across his face is predatory.
Not his usual smirk. Not the cocky, performative thing he wears like a uniform.Â
This oneâs slower. Meaner. All teeth and something behind the teeth that makes the air in the closet feel like it dropped ten degrees and heated up simultaneously.
âWanna bet?â
Two words, low enough that you feel them more than hear them.Â
His tongue presses against the inside of his cheek, and his whole posture shiftsâpushing off the shelf, not moving toward you but orienting toward you, his body language suddenly very awake for a man who looked exhausted thirty seconds ago.
Something about the way he says it sounds like a door opening onto a room you shouldnât walk into.
You step back.
âIâm leaving.â
âGomiââ
âGoodbye.âÂ
You tuck the cables under your arm, grip the shelf with your free hand for balance as you step around himâgiving him the widest possible berth in a closet that doesnât offer much berth to giveâand head for the door, flipping him off.Â
âOi!â
His voice bounces off the corridor walls, too loud, too pleased.
âThatâs the first time youâve flipped me off!â
You keep walking.
âThatâs a milestone, Gomi! We should mark the date!â
You round the corner.
His voice follows, fading but warm.
âIâm putting it in my calendar!â
The lemon smell stays on the cables the whole walk back.
You donât notice.
You absolutely, categorically donât notice.
if you liked this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee!! â„'ï»'â„
pairing: jungkook x f!reader | rating: 18+ | wc: 8.3k | warnings: here
genre: e2l, fwb, gang au, angst with smut, slow burn, forbidden love
â the sound of almost â
"Thereâs a right choice, a wrong choice, and then thereâs the one he almost madeâand somehow, thatâs the one that hurts the most."
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âȘïž author's note: Oh GOD. Oh my god. Iâm actually a little emotional writing this and I do not like it. who allowed this. I genuinely donât even know where to begin. This feels⊠surreal in a way that I wasnât prepared for. Because this is it. This is the end of Book 1. My baby. Kkangpae. The fic that quite literally started everything for me online. The one that made me sit down one random day and go, âyeah, letâs ruin my sleep schedule and emotional stability for the foreseeable future.â And now Iâm here. Posting the last chapter of its first arc. Hello???? Iâm a little shaky, Iâm not even going to lie. Like HAHAHA why are my hands doing that. This is insane.
But before any of you start spiralingâbecause I KNOW youâI need you to breathe. This is the end of Book 1 only. Not the end of Kkangpae. Not even close. Kkangpae: Gyori (yes, thatâs the saga name, sheâs fancy like that) is planned as a trilogy, so we are simply⊠turning the page to the next act of this very long, very unwell story.
And oh, this chapter. I need you all to be very normal about this one. I mean it. I am looking directly at some of you through the screen. Be normal. (You will not be normal.) This chapter is⊠a lot. There is tensionâthick, suffocating, the kind that sits in your chest. There are soft moments that might make you lower your guard for approximately 0.5 seconds (mistake).
And then thereâs⊠everything else. So please, Iâm actually asking this seriouslyâfind a small pocket of time for this. However long it usually takes you to read a Kkangpae chapterâthirty minutes, an hour, however you pace yourselvesâgive it that space. Read it somewhere you feel comfortable. Donât rush it. Let it sit. Let it breathe. Because itâs heavy. And I donât like spoiling anything (you know I donât), but I like even less throwing you into a blender without at least looking you in the eye first and going, âhey. this might hurt a bit.â When I put warnings in my author notes, I donât do it for decoration. I do it because this worldâtheir worldâis not kind. Sometimes things donât turn out the way we expect them to. Sometimes there isnât a clean resolution, or a neat emotional payoff, or the outcome you were quietly hoping for. And especially in a gang AU⊠the nitty-gritty? Thatâs not the exception. Thatâs the baseline. Thatâs how they survive. Thatâs how theyâre shaped.
And I hope you understand that. I trust that you do.
Alsoâon a more logistical note before I start crying again for no reasonâI mentioned this already, but Iâll be taking a short hiatus after this to work on Book 2 (Geumji). I want to build a proper backlog so I can post consistently without spontaneously combusting in the process. So Iâll see you very soon on the other side of that, or in any of my other fics if you decide to hang around with me while I spiral elsewhere <3 And as always⊠Iâm extending my hand to you before you go in. Take it. We hold hands in this house. Kikizens, we suffer together.
Now go.
(And leave your hand-holding comments right here because I will be needing them too.)
Salt hits your nostrils while water slaps against pylons in a rhythm thatâs anything but soothing.
Youâre scanning left to right, taking note of shadows and shipping containers and too many places for armed assholes to hide, when Jeonâs hand lands on your hip.
Itâs a firm pressure that says âhaltâ in a language your body apparently speaks fluently now. Four fingers pressed to the front of your hipbone, thumb anchored at the back, and you freeze like he's flipped some internal switch.
âHold,â he murmurs, so close his breath hits the shell of your ear.
You feel him shift behind you, then beside you, then his chest brushes your shoulder as he leans in.
âWe need to sweep first,â he murmurs, breath warm against your ear.
Goosebumps race down your neck, and you bite the inside of your cheek because Jesus, his voice does things when itâs pitched low like that.
His eyes are already moving. Methodical. Left sector, center, right. You watch his pupils dilate slightly as he processes everything, like his brainâs running equations you canât see.
"Kaleido mentioned four men," he says, voice barely above a whisper. "But that's surface intel. Could be six. Could be eight. Depends on shift rotation and whether Fervio called for backup after the villa."
His fingers tap against your hip. Once, twice, three times. Soft little pulses that you feel more than hear.
"Wind's coming from the northeast at approximately four knots, which means sound carries toward the warehouses, not the water. Visibility's decentâmaybe sixty percent with the fog rolling in. Moon's at seventy-two percent luminosity, provides enough light for visual confirmation without night vision but not enough for clean long-range shots without thermal."
You blink. "...What?"
His thumb shifts slightly, pressing into the small of your back like he's anchoring himself.
"The patterns," he continues, totally unbothered by your confusion. "They'll likely run standard perimeter checksâtwo mobile, two stationary. If they're smart, they've got overwatch on the ship itself, probably the bridge or the cargo deck. If they're really smart, they've got a counter-sniper positioned somewhere with elevation advantage, which means I need to map probable vantage points before we move."
"Jeon."
"Blind spots areâ"
"Jeon."
He pauses. You feel it in the way his body goes still against yours, that tactical calculator brain of his grinding to a halt.
"Yeah?"
"I'm Seduction Division, not Tactical." You tilt your head just enough to catch his profile in your peripheral vision. "Translate for us mere mortals?"
His lips twitch. Not quite a smile, but close enough that it does something stupid to your pulse.
"Okay," he says, and his voice drops lower, softer, like he's letting you in on a secret. "See those three ships docked to the left?"
You nod.
"Two of Fervio's men are probably moving between them. They'll sweep the perimeter every fifteen minutes, maybe twenty if they're lazy. That gives us a window to move, but only if we time it right."
His fingers tap again, and you're starting to think it's not just tacticalâit's nervous energy.
Or maybe focus.
Hard to tell with him.
"The other two are stationary. One's probably on the ship itself, keeping watch over Yunjin. The other..." His eyes scan the surrounding buildings. "Somewhere high. Watching the approach."
"So we can't just walk up there."
"No. We need elevation first. Higher ground means better sightlines, which means I can map their positions before we commit to an approach vector."
You process that. "You need to see them before they see us."
"Exactly."
There's something almost pleased in his tone, like you passed some kind of test.
It shouldn't make you feel as good as it does.
"That's the difference," he adds, and there's a shift in his voiceâsomething darker threading through. "Between Tactical and Stealth."
You go still.
He brought it up.Â
He brought up V.
"V would already be moving," Jeon continues, matter-of-fact. "He'd use the fog, the shadows, the blind spots between ships. By the time they realized someone was there, he'd already be inside, and half of them would be dead."
His thumb presses harder against your back. Not painful, just... there.
Then his jaw tightens. Just a fraction.
âStealth is about chaos. V would go in close, fast, loud when it counts. Heâd use the first kill to draw the others out, then cut through them before they could process whatâs happening. No corridor. No plan. Justââhe exhales sharply through his noseââcircles.â
âCircles?â
âI think in straight lines,â Jeon says, and thereâs something almost bitter in his tone. âPoint A to point B. Cause and effect. V thinks in circles. Loops. Heâll take the longest route if it means fucking with someoneâs head first.â
You process that.
The way he knows Vâs patterns down to the philosophy behind them.
The way he can predict every one of Vâs moves despite the obvious hatred simmering between them.
You swallow. "You worked together though."
The words come out carefully. Not quite a question, but an opening. An invitation to say more if he wants.
"Before," you add, watching his face in the reflection of the water.
Before.
Jeonâs silent for a long moment. Long enough that you think heâs going to shut down completely, ice you out like he does when anyone gets too close to whatever historyâs carved into his bones.
But then he sighs.
It's barely audible, just this small exhale that sounds... tired.
"We did," he admits. The fingers on your hip go still. "We wereâ"
He stops. Recalculates. You can practically hear the gears turning as he searches for the right word.
"Effective."
That's not what he wanted to say.
You can tell by the way his jaw tightens, the way his thumb twitches against your back like he's physically holding something in.
"Effective how?" you venture, keeping your voice light.
Curious but not pushy, make it his choice to share, not like you're digging.
His hand shifts on your hip. Not leaving, just adjusting. Getting more comfortable, maybe. Or bracing himself.
"I'd clear the approach," he says finally. "Long-range. Silent. By the time targets knew something was wrong, V was already inside, cleaning up. Zero survivors. Zero witnesses. Perfect operational efficiency."
Past tense.
Your chest tightens. You want to ask what happened, want to dig into the wound and see what made two of Kkangpaeâs best stop being a team.
But you know Jeon. Know that pushing too hard means heâll shut down completely.
So you aim as soft as you can.
âWhat happened?â
Jeonâs quiet again. You feel his chest expand against yours as he takes a deeper breath, scanning the pier one more time before his gaze drops to you.
For a second, you think heâs going to pull away and insist you move forward.
But his hand doesnât move.
âWe need to get to higher ground,â he says instead, nodding toward a stack of containers to the north. âI need line of sight. Need to map where Kaleidoâs four men are, plus any extras he didnât mention.â
Heâs avoiding the question.
But his handâs still on your hip.
And heâs looking at you like he wants to say more but doesnât know how.
His fingers then hesitate, and thereâs no missing itâthe moment where he realizes his handâs been resting there this whole time, anchoring you, keeping you close when tactically thereâs no reason for it anymore.
The hesitation stretches.
One second.
Two.
Then his hand drops.
Cool air rushes in where his palm used to be, and you resistâbarelyâthe urge to grab it and put it back.
âCome on,â he says, voice back to business. âStay low. Follow my lead.â
He moves forward, fluid and silent, and you follow. But youâre still thinking about his hand.
About the way it felt.
About the word he didnât say when he described working with V.
You try to match his rhythm anyways, the way he distributes his weight so his boots barely whisper against the concrete.
The shipping container looms aheadârusted red steel stacked two high, perfect cover from whateverâs waiting on the ship. Jeon reaches it first, dropping into a crouch so fluid it looks choreographed. His head tilts back toward you, and thenâ
His right hand opens in the air.
Palm up. Fingers spread. Waiting.
You blink. Once. Twice.
Oh.
Oh.
He wants you to use his hand as a step. To boost yourself up onto the container.
Your eyes flick upward, taking in the second container stacked on top, the way it creates a perfect concealed pocket where you can move without being spotted from the ship.
Your gaze drops back to his outstretched palm.
One hand.
Justâone hand.
Is he seriously planning to not only support but propel your entire body weight up there with just his right arm? Like youâre a fucking feather instead of a full-grown woman in tactical gear?
You press your lips together, biting back what is definitely not a smile because this is absolutely not the time to be thinking about how stupidly strong he is. How those forearms that youâve been trying very hard not to stare at arenât just for show.
But Jesus.
The manâs hand doesnât even waver. Just stays there, steady and sure, like boosting people several feet into the air is something he does on a weekday.
You take a breath. Deep and measured, the way Flower taught you before high-stakes ops.
Trust the plan.
Trust your partner.
Trust that Jeonâs physics-defying upper body strength wonât let you, you know, crash face-first into rusted steel.
You step forward, right foot lifting to settle into his palm. His fingers close around your boot, grip firm but careful, and you feel the coiled tension in his arm as he prepares toâ
âUp,â he whispers.
His arm extends in one smooth, powerful motion, and you reach out instinctively, hands slapping against the steel rim, but youâre moving too fast, momentum carrying you forward andâ
You wobble.
Shit. Shit.
Your balance tilts sideways, weight shifting wrong, and for a split second youâre certain youâre going to topple right off the edge and land in a very loud, very ungraceful heap.
But then his left hand catches your hip.
Warm. Steady. Anchoring you as he finishes the movement, pushing you up and over until you can get your elbows on solid steel and haul yourself the rest of the way.
You roll onto the containerâs surface, staying low like he showed you, heart hammering from the adrenaline rush. When you turn back to look down, heâs already moving.
Jeon jumps, plants both palms on the containerâs edge and pushes himself up.
And fuck, you should look away. Should focus on scanning for threats or checking sight lines or literally anything else that isnât the way his forearms flex as he lifts his entire body weight like itâs nothing.
But you donât look away.
Canât, really.
Because watching Jeon move is like watching engineering in action. Every muscle coordinated, every motion efficient, no wasted energy or unnecessary effort. His shoulders bunch as he pulls himself higher, biceps straining against the black thermal fabric, and then heâs swinging one leg over the edge with liquid grace.
He lands in a crouch beside you, settling against the container wall without even breathing hard.
Show off.
Not that youâre complaining.
âYou good?â he asks, voice pitched low.
âYeah.â
The word comes out steadier than you feel. Because you are goodâbetter than good, actually. Thereâs something about moving with him like this, matching his rhythm, trusting his strength, that makes every nerve ending feel sparked.
He nods once, already shifting into surveillance mode. His eyes sweep the pier below, noting shadows and movement, building that tactical map in his head.
You try to focus on the mission. Really, you do.
But youâre still thinking about his hands.
The way his right palm felt solid and sure beneath your boot. The way his left hand found your hip without looking, pure instinct guiding him to steady you when you needed it most.
The casual display of strength that probably didnât even register to him as anything special.
Focus.
Right. Focus on the job. On finding the four men Kaleido mentioned. On mapping exit routes and identifying threats.
Not on the man beside you whose presence feels increasingly magnetic with every passing minute.
You shift slightly, trying to find a comfortable position against the steel, and accidentally brush his shoulder with yours.
He doesnât move away.
Neither do you.
And maybeâmaybe thatâs a problem youâll worry about later.
When Yunjinâs safe.
When the missionâs complete.
When you can afford to think about the way Jeonâs body heat seeps through your thermal top and makes your skin tingle.
You breathe steady as he shifts beside you, body angling for a better view of the pier.
He peers over the containerâs edge, just enough to scan without exposing himself. Makes this soft humming noise, like heâs reviewing information in real time.
âI need a higher vantage point,â he murmurs, eyes tracking upward to the container stacked above you both.
Then he tilts his head toward you, beckoning with the slightest nod.
You scoot forward until youâre pressed against his side, close enough to follow his line of sight. The proximity sends heat crawling up your neck, but you ignore it. Mission first.
His arm extends, finger pointing toward the far right side of the pier. âSee that first container?â
You nod.
âOne man there.â His neck stretches as he adjusts his angle, scanning further. âAnother one on the container after that. Theyâre both carrying HK416s 5.56, effective range about found hundred meters with those optics, though given the modifications Iâm seeingâŠâ He catches himself, throat clearing slightly. âRight. So, rifles.â
You bite back a smile. Only Jeon would start rattling off weapon specifications during a stealth operation and then remember heâs talking to someone who doesnât need the technical breakdown.
His gaze moves upward again.
âIâll be your eyes up there.â He points to the container above you both, then shifts back to scan the containers near the boats. âYou handle close range, Iâll cover distance.â
And just like that, you realize what heâs saying.
He trusts you.
Trusts you to handle yourself without supervision.
Trusts your training enough that he can focus on what he does bestâlong-range precisionâinstead of worrying about babysitting a rookie through close combat.
The weight of that trust hits you square in the chest, making something flutter behind your ribs. Not butterflies exactly. Something bigger. More significant.
He believes in you.
You nod, and his mouth curves into the faintest smile.
Then his expression shifts, brows drawing together as he studies the layout ahead. His lips press into a thin line.
âThe problem now is how to get you there.â
You follow his gaze, mapping the route.
Thereâs the container youâre on, then the massive one balanced on top of both yours and the adjacent container. The gap between them is wideâmaybe four feet of empty air with concrete waiting below.
You canât climb the bridging container. Being on top would leave you completely exposed, visible from the ship. And you canât scale it while pressed against the side because thereâs no foothold, nothing to grip except smooth steel.
But there might be another way.
You reach down, fingers finding the knife strapped to your ankle. The blade slides free with barely a whisper of steel on leather.
âThink I got an idea,â you whisper.
Jeonâs eyes drop to the knife, then flick back to your face. One eyebrow quirks up, curious but not doubtful.
His fingers suddenly catch your chin.
Thumb and index, firm but careful, turning your face toward his. The movementâs so quick you donât have time to process it before youâre looking directly into those stormy eyes.
âWhatââ
But his other handâs already moving. He reaches into the pocket of his tactical pants and pulls out two earpiecesâyours and his. Mustâve pocketed them both back at the gravel lot.
He holds yours up, eyebrow raised.
You tilt your head without thinking, offering your ear, and his fingers brush the shell as he fits the piece back in. Careful. Precise. Way more gentle than the situation calls for.
Your skin prickles.
He fits his own in with his free hand, taps it twice, then goes back to yoursâadjusting something, fingers working the tiny device with that little furrow between his brows.
âWhat are you doing?â you whisper.
âChiefâs override,â he murmurs back. âPrivate channel.â
Oh.
Just you and him. No V. No main frequency. No one listening.
He finishes whatever technical magic he just performed and his hand drops. But his eyes stay on yours, scanning your face like heâs checking something important.
âThat plan of yours is reckless, sunshine.â
Sunshine.
There it is. The nickname heâs been holding back all night, the one that only comes out when youâre alone and his guard drops just enough to let it slip through.
Bet heâs been wanting to call you that since you stepped foot in that palazzo.
His gaze drifts past you, tracking the route youâre thinking of taking without you having to explain a damn thing. Like your brain and his are running on the same frequency.
Container. Gap. Knife point. Swing. Left turn. First target. Straight line. Second target.
He sees it all in maybe three seconds.
âBut then again,â he continues, and something that might be amusement tugs at the corner of his mouth, âyour brand of recklessness tends to be refreshing.â
His head tilts slightly, one eyebrow quirking up. That little silver barbell catches the moonlight, and combined with the barely-there smirk playing across his lips, he looks almost⊠fond.
Fond.
Of your recklessness.
You canât help but smile back. âIâve got you, chief.â
The words come out easier than they should. Confident. Trusting. Like thereâs no question in your mind that heâll be exactly where you need him to be, when you need him there.
His expression shifts. Something unreadable flickers across his features before settling into that familiar mask of professional calm.
But his eyes stay soft.
âYeah,â he says quietly. âYou do.â
You turn your attention back to the route, mind already working through the mechanics.
The distance between containers. The angle youâll need. The momentum required to clear the gap without making noise.
Itâs doable. Risky as hell, but doable.
Cross to the bridging container. Wait for cover noiseâship horns work perfectly, loud enough to mask any sound you might make. Embed the knife deep enough to support your weight. Use it as an anchor point to swing yourself across the gap with enough momentum to land silently on the adjacent container.
Then itâs just following the inverse L formation. Left turn, drop down to take out the first guard. Straight line to the second container, quick jump, neutralize the second target.
All while Jeon provides overwatch from his elevated position, ready to take out any sniper that might have you in their sights.
Simple. Clean. Effective.
The kind of plan that blends stealth and tactical precision in a way that shouldnât work but does.
Seduction Division at its finest.
A low horn echoes across the water. Deep, resonant, the kind of sound that carries for miles and drowns out everything else for those few precious seconds.
Perfect.
You grip the knife handle, testing the weight. The bladeâs perfectly balanced, sharp enough to bite deep into steel if you hit it right.
You wait for the next horn.
When it comes, you move.
The knife leaves your hand in a clean arc, spinning once before sinking into a corrugated seam with a solid thunkâwedged deep between the steel panels like a piton.
The hornâs still echoing when youâre already moving, hands reaching for the knife handle, body coiling to make the swing.
Got it.
The swing carries you across the gap with perfect momentum. Your boots hit the adjacent container with barely a whisper, knees bending to absorb the impact.
Nailed it.
You stay low, pressing against the steel as you catch your breath. The knifeâs still embedded in the bridging container behind youâyouâll have to retrieve it later. For now, you need cover.
You sprint across the containerâs surface, staying crouched until you reach the far edge. Drop behind it, back pressed to the metal wall. Your heart hammers against your ribs, but your breathing stays controlled.
Focus.
A quick peek around the corner shows nothing. Empty pier stretching ahead, shadows dancing between stacked containers. No movement. No glint of weapons or boots.
Good.
You move left, following the route you mapped out earlier. The inverse L formation thatâll take you to the first target, then straight across to the second.
Thereâs another container stacked on top of the one aheadâperfect cover for what youâre planning. You reach the end of your current position and stop, pressing your hand to your earpiece.
Jeonâs voice comes through immediately, low and steady.
âHold position, sunshine.â
Sunshine.
Even in the middle of a tactical operation, hearing that nickname makes something warm unfurl in your chest.
âHeâs on my right,â Jeon continues, âso your left. Take the right side of the container, stay pressed against it. Walk slowâno rushing. When you reach the corner, wait for my signal.â
You nod even though he canât see you. âCopy.â
âAnd rememberâheâs got height on you. Use that. Get under his line of sight, come up from below. Arms up when you make contact.â
You move right, keeping your back flush against the container wall, weight distributed to minimize sound.
Slow and steady.
Your fingers brush the spare knife at your hipâbackup plan if things go sideways. But youâre hoping it wonât come to that. Clean and quiet is the goal.
The containerâs corner approaches. You can hear something nowâfaint shuffling, the scrape of boots against concrete.
Heâs close.
Very close.
You press yourself tighter against the wall, hand finding your earpiece again.
Jeonâs voice is barely a whisper. âHeâs lighting a cigarette. Distracted. Youâve got maybe thirty seconds before he starts moving again.â
Perfect.
Cigarette means his hands are occupied. Means his attentionâs split between keeping watch and getting his nicotine fix.
âOn my mark,â Jeon continues. âThree⊠twoâŠâ
You coil your muscles, ready to spring.
âOne. Go.â
You round the corner fast but controlled, staying low like he taught you.
And there he isâtall guy with a rifle slung over his shoulder, lighter held up to his face. The orange glow illuminates his features for just a second.
Now.
You surge upward, arms coming up exactly like Jeon said. Your forearm catches the guyâs throat, cutting off any sound he might make. Your other hand goes for his weapon, yanking it away before he can react.
Heâs bigger than you, stronger, but surprise is on your side. He stumbles backward, hands clawing at your arm, but youâre already shifting your weight, using his momentum against him.
Basic Seduction Division training. Get close, get control, get it over with.
The rifle clatters to the ground as you adjust your grip, cutting off his air supply completely. His struggles get weaker, more desperate, but you hold on.
Sorry, dude. Wrong place, wrong time.
He goes limp after what feels like forever but was probably only twenty seconds. You lower him carefully, making sure he doesnât hit the ground too hard.
One down.
âTarget neutralized,â you whisper into your earpiece.
âClean work.â Thereâs something that might be pride in Jeonâs voice. âSecond targetâs moving. Straight ahead, next container over. Same approachâheâs scanning left, so come from his right side.â
Youâre already moving, adrenaline singing through your veins.
This is what you trained for. What youâre good at.
And knowing Jeonâs watching, that he trusts you enough to let you handle this alone?
That makes you feel unstoppable.
You move right along the container wall. The steel feels solid against your back as you inch forward, listening for any sound that might give away the second guardâs position.
Your breathing stays controlled despite the adrenaline singing through your veins.
The corner approaches. You can hear him now, footsteps pacing back and forth. Restless energy. Goodâmeans heâs not fully focused.
You coil your muscles, ready to spring around the corner and catch him off guard like the first guy.
But then you hear it.
Beep. Beep.
Some kind of notification. Radio chatter, maybe. Or a phone.
Shit.
You round the corner anyway, hoping to catch him while heâs distracted, but his head snaps up the second you move into his line of sight.
Fuck.
His eyes go wideâsurprise, then immediate calculation. Heâs bigger than the first guy, broader shoulders, and his handâs already moving toward the rifle strapped across his chest.
You launch yourself at him anyway.
Your forearm catches him in the throat, but he jerks backward just enough that the hit doesnât land clean. He staggers but doesnât go down, and his hand closes around your wrist with crushing force.
Strong. Really fucking strong.
He twists your arm, trying to throw you off balance, but you go with it instead of fighting it.
Your legs come up, thighs clamping around his neck in a move Flower drilled into you until you could do it in your sleep. Perfect positioningâif you can just get the pressure right, cut off his blood flow, heâll be unconscious in seconds.
But he doesnât panic like most people do when they suddenly canât breathe.
Instead, his fists start slamming into your thighs.
Ow. Fuck. OW.
Each hit sends spikes of pain up your legs, but you squeeze harder, trying to finish this before he can break free. The angleâs good, youâve got leverage, just need toâ
His hands find your ankles and he yanks.
You lose your grip around his neck and suddenly youâre airborne, the world spinning as he swings you around and releases you like youâre a fucking rag doll.
You hit the container floor hard, pain exploding through your shoulder and hip. Stars dance across your vision, but training kicks in before panic can.
Move. Get up. Fight back.
You roll onto your back just as he lunges toward you, probably planning to pin you down and finish this with his hands around your throat.
But youâre already lifting your leg, boot aimed straight at his descending faceâ
CRACK.
The sound echoes across the pier like thunder. The guardâs head snaps backward in a spray of red, his body crumpling to the side before he can complete his lunge.
Headshot. Clean. Instant.
Jeon.
âThat gave away my position,â his voice comes through your earpiece, calm as if he just hadnât turned someoneâs skull into abstract art. âListen carefully, sunshine. Point to your left.â
You push yourself up to sitting, wiping blood from where your lip split when you hit the container. Your thighs throb from where the guardâs fists connected, but nothing feels broken.
âMy left?â you ask, getting your bearings.
âYour left. See that crane about two hundred meters out?â
You scan the pier until you spot itâmassive industrial crane silhouetted against the pre-dawn sky, all steel beams and cables.
âYeah.â
âThereâs a sniper nest on the platform. Third level up, northwest corner. Heâs got eyes on us now.â
Your stomach drops. âHow do you know?â
âBecause I would.â Matter-of-fact, like itâs the most obvious thing in the world. âHe heard my shot, knows thereâs a counter-sniper in play. Heâs acquiring me now, setting sights on my last position. Youâve got maybe thirty seconds before he realizes Iâm moving and decides to focus on you instead.â
âComforting.â
âGrab the rifle. The one that just dropped.â
You look around, spotting the weapon that fell when the now-headless guard went down. Itâs splattered with blood and bits of brain matter, but at this point youâre past being squeamish.
âGot it.â
âGood. Nowâyouâre going to take the shot.â
You nearly drop the rifle. âWhat?â
âYou heard me. I need you to neutralize the sniper while I relocate. Heâs focused on my last position, doesnât expect you to be armed with anything more than a handgun. Wonât see it coming.â
âJeon, Iâm notâI donât have sniper trainingââ
âYou have training. Different training, but the fundamentals apply. Breathe, sunshine. Trust me.â
His voice is steady, confident. Like thereâs no question in his mind that you can do this.
Okay. Okay.
You grip the rifle properly, checking that the safetyâs off. Itâs heavier than you expected, built for stopping power at distance.
âSight picture first,â Jeon continues, voice patient and sure. âLook through the scope, find the crane platform.â
You bring the rifle up, awkward at first until you find a comfortable position. The scopeâs magnification makes everything swim into sharp detail.
âI see it.â
âNorthwest corner. Look for movement, reflected light, anything that doesnât belong.â
You scan the platform methodically, the way Flower taught you to observe targets during intelligence gathering.
Thereâa glint of metal catching the pre-dawn light.
Definitely artificial. Definitely a weapon.
âGot something. Metallic reflection, northwest side like you said.â
âPerfect. Now listen carefullyâyou need to adjust for distance and elevation. See that shipping container directly below the crane?â
âYeah.â
âThatâs your reference point. Targetâs approximately three meters above that container, maybe fifteen meters back from the platform edge. You need to account for windage tooâthereâs a crosswind coming off the water. Adjust two meters to the right.â
Two meters right, three meters up.
You move the crosshairs, trying to apply everything heâs telling you while your heart hammers against your ribs.
âWhen I say fire, squeeze the trigger smooth and steady. Donât jerk it, donât second-guess. Just like target practice, except this target shoots back.â
âJeon, what if I miss?â
âYou wonât.â No hesitation in his voice. Zero doubt. âYouâre steady under pressure, sunshine. Iâve seen it. This is just another target.â
Just another target.
Sure. A target that could kill both of you if you fuck this up.
âOn my mark,â he continues. âTake a deep breath, let half of it out, hold the rest. Find your natural respiratory pause and squeeze through it.â
You do exactly what he says.
Deep breath in. Half out. Hold.
The crosshairs settle on where you think the sniper should be, accounting for all the adjustments Jeon gave you.
âThreeâŠâ His voice is calm, steady. âTwoâŠâ
Donât think. Just shoot.
âOne. Fire.â
You squeeze.
The rifle kicks against your shoulder, and through the scope you watch the sniperâs body jerk backward before crumpling behind the crane platform.
Got him.
A satisfied hum crackles through your earpiece, low and pleased.
âThatâs my girl.â
Something hot and violent flutters in your stomach at the words before you can stop it. You squash that feeling down hard, focus on the mission, but jesusâthe way he said it.
Like heâs proud of you.
âMoving to your position now,â Jeonâs voice continues, all business again. âStay put until Iââ
âNegative.â Youâre already shifting, scanning the pier below. âIâm dropping down. We need to get to that ship.â
âSunshine, waitââ
But youâre already moving, slinging the rifle over your shoulder and dropping to the edge of the container.
The jump down to ground level isnât badâmaybe six feetâand you land in a crouch, absorbing the impact through your legs.
Sea level now. The smell of salt water and diesel fuel hits you immediately, stronger down here where the waves slap against the pier supports.
You straighten up, checking your surroundings.
Empty shipping containers stretch in both directions, creating a maze of steel and shadow. The shipâs probably fifty meters ahead, past the next row ofâ
An arm snakes around your throat from behind.
Fuck.
Pure instinct kicks in. You bite down hard on the bicep pressed against your neck, tasting blood and sweat and something chemicalâantiseptic, maybe. Medical supplies.
The arm jerks away with a sharp curse, and you spin around to faceâ
Fervio.
How the fuck is he still standing?
The last time you saw this asshole, V was turning him into modern art.
He should be unconscious. Should be dead.
But here he is, very much alive and apparently ready for round two.
Blood seeps through his jacket where Vâs knives found their mark. His face is a mess of cuts and bruises, one eye swollen nearly shut. But his remaining eye burns with something that makes your skin crawl.
Hunger.
âHello again, little dove,â he says, voice rough like gravel.
He lunges forward, faster than someone that injured should be able to move. You dodge left, but his hand catches your shoulder, spinning you around.
The rifle slides off your back and clatters across the concrete.
Shit.
You go for the knife at your hip, but Fervioâs already there, his hand closing over yours with crushing force.
âHow the fuck are you still standing?â you grunt, trying to wrench free.
He laughs, and the sound makes your stomach turn. âYou donât know what adrenaline injections can do, do you? Black market pharmaceuticals are fascinating these days.â
Great. A psycho hopped up on experimental stimulants.
His grip tightens until you feel bones grinding together. You twist your body, use the momentum to drive your knee toward his ribs, but he shifts at the last second.
Your knee hits solid muscle instead of wounded flesh.
He uses your off-balance moment to grab the rifle and heave it across the pier. It skitters under a shipping container, completely out of reach.
âNo, no,â he tsks, still holding your wrist. âThat would be too quick. Too easy.â
Sadistic fuck.
He pulls a knife from somewhereânot the curved one from before, this oneâs smaller, sharper. Built for precision cuts, not killing blows.
Torture.
You wrench your arm free and stumble backward, putting distance between you and that blade. Your hand finds the backup knife, fingers closing around the handle.
âCome now,â Fervio says, advancing slowly. âI promise to make this educational.â
The way he says it makes your skin crawl. Like heâs planning to take his time. Like heâs got all night to work.
Fuck that.
You feint left, then dart right, trying to get behind him. But heâs ready for it, pivoting to match your movement.
The knife flashes toward your ribs. You block with your forearm, feel the blade slice through fabric and skin, but itâs not deep.
Keep moving.
You circle each other, looking for openings. Heâs bigger, stronger, probably more experienced with close combat.
But youâre faster. And youâre pissed.
You dart in low, aiming for his wounded side where Vâs knife work left him vulnerable. Your blade finds flesh, slides between ribs.
Fervio grunts but doesnât go down. Just grins wider, like pain is exactly what he was hoping for.
Psycho.
His knife arcs toward your face. You duck, feel steel whistle past your ear, and drive your elbow up into his chin.
His head snaps back, but he recovers faster than he should. Grabs your wrist and twists until your knife drops.
Then his blade is moving again, too fast to track, and suddenly thereâs fire in your thigh.
You look down and see steel buried deep in muscle, blood already soaking through your pants.
Motherfucker.
Pain explodes through your thigh, white-hot and immediate.
You screamâcanât help itâas steel bites deep into muscle. But the sound cuts off when Fervioâs hand clamps over your mouth, muffling everything into a pathetic whimper.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
Blood seeps around the blade, warm and sticky, soaking through your tactical pants. The knifeâs still embedded, and every movement, as tiny as it is, sends fresh waves of agony radiating up your leg.
âShh, shh,â Fervio whispers against your ear, voice sickeningly gentle. âSave your energy, little dove. Weâre just getting started.â
You try to elbow him in the ribs, aim for one of Vâs wounds, but he anticipates it. Shifts his weight and suddenly youâre spinning, your back slamming against his chest.
No no noâ
His arm snakes around your ribs, pinning your arms to your sides. The other hand moves to your throat, fingers pressing just hard enough to remind you how easily he could crush your windpipe.
Youâre trapped. Completely fucking trapped.
âMuch better,â he purrs, and you can feel his smile against your temple. âNow we can have a proper conversation.â
He tilts his head toward the maze of shipping containers, voice rising to carry across the pier.
âJeon!â he calls out, theatrical and mocking. âCome out and play with the grownups!â
Silence. Just the slap of waves against pylons and the distant hum of ship engines.
Your eyes scan the shadows frantically, looking for any sign of movement. Any hint that Jeonâs positioning himself for a shot.
Come on. Where is he?
Fervio waits maybe ten seconds before clearing his throat, the sound vibrating through his chest against your back.
âNo? Nothing?â He chuckles, low and pleased. âHow disappointing.â
Then his hand moves to the knife buried in your thigh.
âNo, donâtââ
But heâs already gripping the handle, and when he yanks it free, the scream that rips from your throat echoes across the entire pier.
Jesus fucking Christâ
Blood gushes from the wound, soaking your leg, dripping onto the concrete in steady plink plink plink sounds that make your stomach lurch. The pain is incredibleâlike someoneâs driving a hot poker through your muscle with every heartbeat.
âJeon!â Fervio calls again, voice bright with satisfaction. âCome out now, or the next thing thatâll gush blood apart from her thigh is her throat. Hands visible and up.â
Please. Please just shoot this motherfucker.
But even as you think it, you know Jeon canât take the shot.
Not with Fervio using you as a human shield.
Not when one wrong move means your blood painting the pier.
Movement in your peripheral vision. A shadow detaching itself from behind a shipping container.
Jeon.
He emerges with his hands raised, jaw clenched so tight you can see the muscle jumping in his cheek. His eyes find yours immediately, and what you see there makes your chest tight.
Fury.
Pure, cold, calculating rage barely held in check.
âThere he is,â Fervio purrs against your ear, sounding delighted. âThe famous sniper. The ghost of Seoul. The man who never misses.â
Jeonâs gaze flicks to the knife in Fervioâs hand, then to the blood pooling beneath your feet. His nostrils flare.
âLet her go,â he says, voice flat and deadly calm. âYour issueâs with me.â
âOh, but sheâs so much more fun,â Fervio replies, pressing the blade against your throat. Not cuttingânot yetâbut the threatâs crystal clear. âThe gun. Drop it.â
Jeon doesnât move. Doesnât even blink.
The knife presses harder. You feel the sharp edge bite into skin, feel blood start to trickle down your neck in warm rivulets.
Shit. Heâs actually cuttingâ
âDo it slowly,â Fervio continues when Jeon hesitates, dragging the blade sideways just enough to open a shallow cut. âAny sudden movements and⊠well. You understand.â
Jesus Christ that hurts.
You bite back a whimper, focusing on staying perfectly still. Any movement could drive that blade deeper, turn a shallow cut into something permanent.
Jeonâs eyes meet yours for just a second. You see the calculation thereâthe tactical assessment running through his head at light speed.
But also something else.
Panic.
He crouches slowly, placing his gun on the concrete carefully.
âKick it away.â
Jeon complies, sending the weapon skittering across the pier until it disappears under a shipping container with a metallic clang.
âGood boy,â Fervio grins, and you can hear the satisfaction dripping from his voice. âNow. Whereâs your psychotic little boyfriend? V didnât come to our reunion party?â
âHeâs busy,â Jeon says, voice still that deadly flat. âKeeping your boyfriend Kaleido company.â
Fervio laughsâactually laughsâlike this is the funniest thing heâs heard all night.
âAw, but I was so looking forward to seeing him again. I wanted him to watch when I take one of his precious dolls.â His grip on your throat tightens slightly, fingers digging into your pulse points. âJust like he did to me in Venice. You remember that, donât you, Jeon? Or were you too busy playing hero from your little perch?â
Venice.
Something passes between themâsome shared history youâre not privy to. But the way Jeonâs face goes completely blank, like a mask slamming down, tells you itâs not good.
âThat was different,â Jeon says quietly. Too quietly.
âWas it?â Fervioâs voice turns mocking, theatrical. âSeemed pretty similar to me. V taking something I cared about. Making me watch while heââ
âShe was a target,â Jeon cuts him off, words sharp as glass. âA legitimate military target.â
âShe was mine.â
Fervioâs voice goes ice cold, all pretense of amusement dropping away like a discarded mask. The blade presses harder against your throatâyou feel more blood start to flow.
âAnd he made sure I knew exactly what he was doing when he slit her throat. Made it slow. Made it artistic. Made me watch every. Single. Second.â
Oh.
The pictureâs starting to come together now.
Some girl in Venice, years ago. Someone Fervio cared aboutâloved, maybe? if heâs capable of love on the first place. Someone V killed while Fervio watched.
And now he wants payback.
Fantastic.
âSo here we are,â Fervio continues, voice returning to that sick tone. âFull circle. Except this time, Iâm the one holding the blade.â
The knife moves against your throatânot cutting deeper, but promising. A preview of whatâs coming.
âAnd when I get back to that sweet little princess on my ship, Iâm going to take my time. Hours and hours. Sheâs going to learn every technique Iâve perfected over the years. Every way the human body can experience exquisite agony before it finally shatters.â
Your blood turns to ice. Because heâs not just talking about cutting or stabbing.
Heâs talking about torture. Real, prolonged, sadistic torture.
âIâm going to make her scream until her voice gives out. Then Iâll wait for it to come back, just so I can make her scream again. And when Iâm finally done playing, when thereâs nothing left of that pretty little mind except fear and painâŠâ
He leans closer, breath hot against your ear.
ââŠIâm gonna send whatâs left of her back to V in a pretty pink bow.â
The image heâs painting makes your stomach turn to acid.
Yunjinâsweet, bubbly Yunjin who makes cotton candy seem sophisticatedâin the hands of this s̶a̶d̶i̶s̶t̶i̶c̶ monster.
No. No no no.
âBut enough about future plans,â Fervio continues, voice shifting back to that mock-reasonable tone. âLetâs discuss present arrangements. Iâm willing to make a deal.â
Jeonâs eyes narrow. âWhat kind of deal?â
âSimple. I leave with my little pink princess, and in exchangeâŠâ The knife presses just a fraction deeper against your throat. âI give you my word that this beauty here wonât be hunted down by my team. Clean slate. Fresh start.â
You feel Jeonâs entire body go rigid at the suggestion. Even from here, you can see his hands clenching into fists.
âYour word?â Jeonâs voice is flat, dangerous. âYou think Iâdââ
âAh ah ah.â Fervio cuts him off with a tsk. âWe both know words hold no value in our line of work. Which is why Iâm prepared to make this⊠official.â
He shifts slightly behind you, and you hear the soft clink of metal against metal.
What the fuckâ
âPersonal binding coins,â Fervio explains, like heâs discussing dinner plans instead of human trafficking. âYou know how it works. I give mine, you give yours. Physical proof of the contract. Break it, and both our organizations know exactly who canât be trusted.â
Oh shit.
Personal binding coins are serious business in the underworld.
Not like the neutral coins used for transactionsâthese are about honor, about binding agreements between high-ranking operatives. When someone gives you their personal coin, itâs their word made tangible. Break that agreement, and your reputation is d̶e̶s̶t̶r̶o̶y̶e̶d̶ gone.
And Fervio knows Jeon has one. All Council of 9 members do.
You watch Jeonâs face go through a series of micro-expressionsâcalculation, fury, disgust. His jaw works silently, like heâs biting back words that would probably get you killed.
âYou sick fuck,â he finally says, voice low and deadly. âI donât bargain withââ
HOOOOOONK.
The shipâs horn blares across the pier, deep and resonant and perfectly timed to mask the sound ofâ
CRACK.
Jeon staggers forward, red blooming across his shoulder like a flower. His eyes go wideânot with pain, but with pure shock.
He got shot.
Someone fucking shot him.
Everything slows down.
You watch the impact ripple through his body, see his knees buckle slightly as his brain processes what just happened. Blood seeps through the black thermal fabric, spreading outward in a pattern that looks almost artistic if you ignore the fact that itâs Jeonâs blood.
The man who never gets caught off guard.
Who always has a plan.
Who sees everything coming from a mile away.
Just got shot in the fucking back.
Fervio doesnât waste the opportunity.
His arms release you suddenly, and then youâre flying through the air, thrown like a rag doll straight at Jeonâs chest.
You collide hardâribs against ribs, shoulder against wounded shoulder. Jeon grunts in pain but catches you anyway, his good arm wrapping around your waist to keep you both upright.
âMove!â
His voice cuts through the chaos, sharp and commanding despite the blood loss. His hand clamps around your wrist like a vice, and suddenly youâre being dragged, stumbling, behind the nearest shipping container.
You hear Fervioâs laughter echoing across the pier, already fading as he makes his escape.
âYunjin!â you scream, trying to wrench free from Jeonâs grip. âTheyâre leaving! Theyâre fucking leaving withââ
âSit the fuck down.â His voice is ice cold, furious, as he forces you down behind the container wall.
His good hand presses against your shoulder, pinning you in place.
âYouâre bleeding, Iâm bleeding, and we are unarmed,â he continues through gritted teeth, breathing hard. âSit. Down.â
His head tilts back against the steel, face pale but eyes still sharp.
Blood seeps steadily from the wound where the bullet tore through muscle and sinew, staining his thermal top crimson.
But heâs not letting go of your wrist.
Canât. Canât just sit here.
âLet me go.â Your voice cracks on the words, panic making everything feel razor-sharp. âLet me fucking go!â
You try to push yourself up, try to get to your feet, but Jeonâs hand clamps down on your wrist.
âThey got Yunjinââ
âDo you think I donât fucking know that?â The words explode out of him, voice cracking like a whip.
His eyes snap open, and jesusâyouâve never seen him look like this.
Wound tight enough to snap, fury and something that looks like despair warring across his features.
âThen why are we still here?â Your voice rises to match his. âWe need toâ!â
âWe need to what?â He turns toward you, and thereâs blood smeared across his mouth where he bit his tongue. âRun onto that ship unarmed? Let them cut us both down?â
âWe canât just sit here!â
âYes, we fucking can!â
âSheâs my best friend!â The words tear out of your throat, and you donât care that youâre screaming, donât care that your voice is cracking. âSheâs myââ
âYou think I donât want to go after her?â His voice drops to something quieter but no less vicious. âYou think I donât want to tear that ship apart board by board until I find her?â
His breathingâs gone harsh and uneven, like heâs fighting for air.
âThen whyââ
âBecause I fucking considered it!â
The words explode between you like a grenade, sharp and devastating.
What.
Your mouth falls open.
You stare at him, at the self-loathing written across every line of his face.
âFor a fucking second,â he continues, voice breaking on every word, âI considered it. Considered trading your fucking life for Yunjinâs.â
The silence that follows is deafening.
Your tongue feels completely, utterly, absolutely useless inside your mouth.
âWhen he offered that dealâwhen he wanted to trade my coin for hisââ Jeonâs head falls back against the container with a dull thunk. âFor one second, I thought about it. Weighed the options. One life versus another.â
You canât breathe. Canât think past the rushing in your ears.
âAnd that makes me no better than him,â he whispers, staring up at the gray pre-dawn sky. âNo better than the piece of shit who just walked away with her.â
Jesus christ.
He actually considered it. Actually stood there and considered your life was worth more than Yunjinâs.
Part of you wants to hit him. Wants to scream until your voice gives out.
But a bigger partâthe part that knows him, knows how his brain worksâunderstands exactly why that thought would destroy him.
Because Jeon doesnât make emotional decisions.
He weighs variables and chooses the most tactically sound option, and the fact that he even considered sacrificing Yunjin meansâ
Means you matter to him.
More than just professionally. More than just as a team member or a responsibility.
âJeon,â you start, but he cuts you off.
âDonât.â His voice is flat again, empty. âJustâdonât.â
The sound of the engines gets lost in the distance.
Yunjin is gone. The microchip isnât secured. The mission has been a catastrophic disaster.
And youâre both sitting here bleeding onto concrete, having the worst possible revelation at the worst possible time.
if you've enjoyed this chapter please consider buying me a coffee!! âïž âĄÂŽâïœâĄ
"Why does this party feel like a thousand tiny disasters stitched together with gold chains, eyeliner, and bad decisionsâand why does âcan we talk?â somehow sound more threatening than a serial killer mask?"
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âȘïžauthor's note : Okay, so before you all start frothing at the mouth over the RoNix scenes like the unwell little creatures I know you are, I need to say this first: Y/Nâs thoughts about Medusa in that bathroom matter to me a lot. Not just as a costume moment, but as a character moment. The whole thing about not wanting to become the matching piece to someone elseâs narrative, not wanting to dilute herself into something more digestible, more easily understood, more aesthetically cohesive for somebody else⊠yeah. That one was personal. So was the little monologue about falling on your face and still choosing your own bruises. I wanted her to sound like someone clawing her way toward herself in real time, even if she doesnât have the language polished yet. Especially then, actually.
And, finally, weâre pulling the curtain back a little more on Jimin and what Iâve been quietly leaving in the margins for chapters now. Identity is weird. Itâs messy and unfinished and sometimes painfully unlabeled. I think realism also means allowing characters not to know, not to have the perfect word, not to arrive at some neat little conclusion the second they start asking the question. And I donât know, man, as a 26-year-old person myself, I can very confidently say I still do not know what the fuck Iâm doing most of the time. So I think this is my way of taking Jiminâs hand, and maybe yours too, and going: itâs okay. You donât have to buy anything from the aisle just because everyone else seems to know what shelf they belong on. Weâll get there. Wherever there even is.
ALSO. Yes. The spins. Jason asking for the twirl, Jungkook asking for the spin, and the emotional difference between those two moments? I need you all to look me in the eyes about that. One is admiration wrapped in safety, the other is attention so precise it feels like being read. And Y/N responds to them differently for a reason. I am, unfortunately, obsessed with parallels and doomed to make that everyone elseâs problem.
Also because I am physically incapable of leaving anything alone: vanilla. Hahahaha. Yeah. I know. I am not subtle about scents and I never will be. Thank you for signing up for this deeply unserious fragrance agenda against your will. And do not even get me started on the comedy beats in this chapter because Yoongi as conceptual blonde-era Skrillex nearly took me out at the knees. Claireâs skull earrings. Be serious. I hate him so bad. And uhhh⊠yes. New character alert? Who exactly is Yoongi talking to in the alcove? (ïżŁâœïżŁ) Youâll just have to keep reading, I fear.
Enjoy the chapter, scream responsibly, and as always: if FMU!Jungkook has no haters left, I am dead.
The thing about dressing as a woman who turns men to stone is that you actually have to look at yourself first.
And you've been avoiding that.
The full-length mirror on the back of the bathroom door has been catching you in fragments all eveningâan elbow here, a hip there, the gold clasp of the snake cuff Irya wrestled onto your upper arm twenty minutes agoâbut you haven't committed to the full picture yet.
Irya's got her phone propped on the counter, a YouTube tutorial frozen on a girl with a $400 highlight palette doing something architectural to her cheekbones.
She's been flitting between you and the screen for the last half hour, dabbing gold shimmer along your collarbones with a fan brush and narrating the process like a nature documentary.Â
"Okay, hold still."
She tilts your chin up. Dusts something across the bridge of your nose. Steps back. Studies you like youâre some sort of painting in a museum.
"God, you're annoying."
"What?"
"Your bone structure. It's annoying. Like, medically." She waves the brush at your face. "Some of us have to contour for the aesthetic. You justâlook pretty. Sitting there. Rent-free."
"Irya."
"I'm stating facts. Hold still."
More powder. A final sweep. Then she clicks the compact shut with satisfaction and drops it into the mess of products crowding the marble counterâlipstick tubes rolling into setting spray cans, a palette balanced on the edge of the sink, bobby pins scattered everywhere.
"Okay. Collarbone shimmer's done, base is set, lips need one more layer but that's after this coat sets."
She's already gathering her thingsâthe curling iron she brought for Yeji's wig, three different hair clips, a ziplock bag of bobby pins that looks like it weighs a pound.
"I gotta go wrestle Yeji into her corset before she decides leather is 'too conformist' and shows up in a trash bag."
"She would absolutely show up in a trash bag."
"She has shown up in a trash bag. Sophomore year. She called it 'deconstructed capitalism.'"
Irya pauses at the door, arms full, and gives you a once-over.
Whatever she sees makes her smileâsoft, private, the kind she saves for when she actually means it.
"You look really good. Like, crazy good. Jason's going to lose his entire mind."
The door clicks shut behind her and the bathroom goes quiet.
Just you and the mirror.
You finally turn to face it.
The skirt isâokay. It's not obscene. It's a draped Grecian thing, dark green, slit high on the left thigh, with a gold chain belt sitting low on your hips.
The top is a structured corset-style piece that Yeji found at some vintage shop in Bushwick and mailed to you with a note that just said âWEAR THIS OR PERISH.â
You donât want to perish.
It's tight. Tighter than you usually go.
You can see the dip of your waist and the press of your ribs when you breathe, and where your chest looksâwell.
Present. Accounted for. Very much there.
The snake cuff wraps your left bicep. Gold snake earrings hang from your lobes, and Irya threaded smaller gold chains through your hair so they catch the light when you move.
You look like something out of a Caravaggio painting, if Caravaggio had access to Amazon Prime and a $30 costume budget.
You look good.
You think you look good?
You tug the skirt down half an inch, which accomplishes absolutely nothing because the fabric just slides back up.
The slit gapes. Your thigh is right there.
This isâit's a lot of skin.
More skin than you usually show when there are people around who aren't contractually obligated to find you attractive.
More skin than you showed at Pulse that night, and look how that turned out.
Don't think about Pulse.
You're adjusting the chain belt when the bathroom door swings open and Jimin appears in the frame, already half in costumeâwhite button-down untucked over black slacks, sleeves rolled to his elbows, a smear of fake blood on his collar that he hasn't blended yet.
He stops when he sees you. Actually stops. Feet planted, lips parting, the whole thing.
"Oh my god."
"Don't."
"Oh my god."
He steps inside, closing the door behind him, and his face does something complicated and openly delighted.
"You lookâgirl. Seriously. That's soâthe snakes in your hair? And theâis that a cuff?"
He reaches for your arm, turning it gently so the light catches the gold coils.
"This is incredible. Yeji picked this out, didn't she."
"She threatened my life if I didn't wear it."
"Correct response."
He lets go of your arm. Leans against the counter with his hip, crossing his ankles, and it strikes you again how Jimin occupies spaceâgently, without demand.
Even now, in a bathroom that isn't his, he's somehow not intruding.
"Medusa?"
"Medusa."
"The original 'I'll ruin your life if you look at me wrong.'"
"That'sâyeah, actually. That's exactly what I was going for."
Jimin tilts his head, studying you the way he studies texts in the libraryâattentive, as if reading between lines you didn't know were there.
Then his gaze snags on your eyes and he frowns. Not a bad frown. An assessing one.
"Did Irya do your liner?"
"She was going to but she had to go deal with Yeji's corset situation."
"So you haven't done it yet."
"I was going to wing it." Beat. "No pun intended."
He's already scanning the counter, fingers drifting over the scattered products with the same familiarity you saw before Emmaâs birthday party.
He picks up the liquid liner pen, uncaps it, checks the tip. Caps it again. Picks up a different oneâthe felt tip, the good one, Irya'sâand holds it up.
"Can I?"
The question is so casual and so careful at the same time that it takes you a second.
"Please save me."
He chuckles, pulling a hand towel off the rack and drapes it over his shoulderâthe move of someone who's done this enough to know about smudging.
"Close your eyes."
You close your eyes.
His fingers are feather-light on your jaw, tilting your face toward the overhead light.
The first stroke of the liner is preciseâno wobble, no hesitation. A clean pull from the inner corner outward, measured and smooth, and you feel the little flick at the end that means he's going for a wing without even asking your preference.
Bold choice. Correct choice, but still.
"You're good at this," you say, eyes still closed.
"Yeah."
A pause, careful, like he's deciding how much to give.
The liner moves to the other eye. Another clean stroke.
"My sisters used to practice on me. Back in middle school. I was theâyou know. The patient one. Sat still."
"That tracks."
"And then I just..." He trails off. You feel him angle the pen for the wing. "Kept doing it. On my own. Thought it was fun."
Another pause, and something shifts in his voiceâgets quieter. Not ashamed, but conscious. Aware of the shape of what he's saying.
"âŠNails too. I like nails. I'm good with color."
You think about the neon pink nail you grabbed in the car.
How fast he snatched his hand back.
The embarrassment that flickered across his face before he buried it under.
"The pink nail," you say softly. Eyes still closed.
He doesn't answer for a second. The liner pauses on your lid.
"Yeah." He resumes. Finishes the wing.
"It looked good," you tell him. "Really good. The color was perfect on you."
The liner lifts.
You open your eyes.
Jiminâs face is closeâinches awayâand he's looking at you with an expression that's hard to name. Grateful, maybe. Or something simpler than that.
Just seen.
"You think so?"
"I know so. You've got the hands for it."
You gesture at themâthe slim fingers, the clean nail beds, the careful way he holds the pen like it's calligraphy and not drugstore liquid liner.
He looks down at his own hands. Turns them over slowly, like he's seeing them through your description instead of his own.
"My dad used to call them piano hands." A small exhale that's not quite a laugh. "Which was his way of saying they weren'tâyou know. Right. For a boy."
The liner pen rests between his index and middle fingers. He rolls it once. Twice.
"I don't talk to him anymore. Either of them, actually. My momâshe just kind of... agreed with whatever he said? So." A shrug that tries very hard to be casual and lands somewhere south of it. "My sisters, though. They're good. They get it. They got me the nail kit for my birthday last year. The real one, with the UV lamp and everything."
He says âthey get itâ like it's a complete sentence. Like there's a whole second half he trimmed off before it could reach the air.
You don't push. You know what trimmed sentences sound likeâyou've been editing your own since you were fifteen, snipping the parts that felt too raw to survive outside your own head.
"That's a good birthday present," you say instead.
"Best one I've gotten."
The bathroom is quiet for a second and Jimin looks at the liner pen in his hands like it contains some answer to a question he hasn't asked yet.
Then he asks it.
"Can I ask you something?"
He's chewing the inside of his cheek. There's a crease between his brows that wasn't there thirty seconds ago, and his thumb is rubbing the cap of the liner in small circles like a worry stone.
"Yeah. Of course."
"How did you know..."
He starts, stops.
Starts again. "How do you knowâ"
Another stop.
His jaw works around something that doesn't want to become language.
"That you're... what you're supposed to be?"
You almost deflect. Almost hit him with something sarcastic, something lightââI'm supposed to be a lot drunker right nowââbecause that's what you do when conversations tilt toward something more serious.
But Jimin's face is doing the thing. The still thing. Like he's bracing.
So you don't deflect.
"I don't."
He blinks.
"I don't know," you repeat, and it comes out quieter than you intended. More honest. "I haveâliterally no idea. About any of it. What I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to want, who I'm supposed to be doing it withâ"
You catch yourself gesturing vaguely at the entirety of existence and drop your hand.
"My parents had this whole... blueprint. For me. For who I was. What I'd study, who I'd date, where I'd live, what kind of person I'd grow up into. And for a long time I justâfollowed it? Because it was easier than figuring out my own answers when I didn't even know what the questions were."
The marble counter is cold against your lower back. You lean into it. Let it ground you.
"And then I stopped following it, and it was likeâokay, cool, now I have no map and no compass and I'm just... going. Everywhere. At once. Trying everything, saying yes to things I should say no to, saying no to things I probably should yes to, dating people who are categorically wrong for me, picking fights with my roommates, making choices that would give my mother a strokeâ"
Jimin's mouth twitches.
"âand like, ninety percent of those choices blow up in my face. Genuinely. I'm not being self-deprecating, I am statistically terrible at decisions. I fall on my face so often I should just live down there. Set up a little apartment on the floor. Decorate."
A breath.
"But it's mine. The falling. Even when it's stupid and it hurts and I'm lying there thinking âwow, you really did that, you lame ass bitchââat least I chose it. At least I'm the one who tripped. Nobody pushed me. And that's..."
You search for the word. Can't find it. Settle for the feeling instead.
"That's worth more than never falling because someone else was always holding the railing for you. Even if you're bruised the whole time. Even if you look insane. It's better than being trapped."
And JiminâŠ
Jimin is watching you. Not with pity, not with that head-tilted therapy look people give you when you accidentally say something too real when thereâs not enough alcohol in your system.
He's watching you like you just read aloud from a page he's been staring at for months, and some of the sentences matched.
Not all of them. But some.
"The falling is yours," he repeats softly.
"The falling is mine. The bruises are mine. The spectacular bad decisions are mine." You shrug. "I don't know what I'm supposed to be. I just know what I'm not. And I figure... I'll get there. Eventually. By process of elimination, if nothing else."
He's quiet for a long moment.
"Process of elimination," he murmurs. "Yeah. Yeah, that'sâ"
He doesn't finish. Just nods, slow, his jaw softening from whatever clench it had been holding.
And his eyes are bright in a way that might be the overhead lighting or might be something less explainable.
"What if you try everything and none of it fits?" he asks, and the question is so small.
Smaller than him, smaller than the bathroom, smaller than the bulb above you.
"What if there isn't aâa word for it? For what you are? What if you keep looking and nothing matches and everyone else seems to know exactly where they go and you're just..."
He trails off.
But you know what he means.
So you finish for him.
"Standing in the aisle."
His eyes snap to yours.
"At the store," you say. "Like when there's a wall of options and none of the labels match what you actually came in for, and everyone around you is just grabbing things off the shelf like it's obvious and easy and you're standing there reading the back of every single box thinking âwhy doesn't any of this sound like me.â"
Jimin's throat works. A swallow that takes longer than it should.
"...Yeah." Barely audible. "Exactly like that."
"Then you leave the store."
He frowns.
"You leave the store without buying anything. And that's fine. You don't owe the store a purchase. You don't have to grab something off the shelf just because everyone else did."
You pick up a stray bobby pin from the counter, turning it between your fingers.
"Maybe what you came in for doesn't have a label. Maybe it doesn't need one. Maybe it's just yours and it doesn't fit in a box because it wasn't supposed to."
You're talking about more than you understand.
But you know the aisle.
You've stood in it.
Different section, maybe, but the same fluorescent lighting.
Jimin sets the liner pen down on the counter with a small click.Â
"My sisters would like you," he says, which is, you suspect, the highest compliment in his vocabulary.
"I'd like them back."
"They do makeup better than me."
"Impossible. I've seen your work."
That gets him. The corner of his mouth trembles, buckles, and then he's smilingâreally smiling, the kind that rewrites his whole face, and the crease between his brows is gone like it was never there.
He glances down at his hands again and this time he doesn't turn them over, doesn't inspect them.
Just lets them be.
"Honestly? Your technique is better than Irya's and she would kill me for saying that, so if you tell her I said it I'll deny everything and also never speak to you again."
The laugh that comes out of him is startled and realâbright, nose-scrunching, his whole face folding up into it.
He presses the back of his hand to his mouth like he's trying to contain it but it keeps spilling through his fingers, and the sound is so warm and so Jimin that you're laughing too before you can help it, both of you cracking up in this marble bathroom surrounded by scattered beauty products and fake blood, and it feelsâeasy.
Uncomplicated.
The kind of friendship that doesn't need a history to feel solid, just a willingness to sit still and be honest for five minutes.
And then you turn and Jason is standing in the doorway.
In costume from the looks of itâdark slacks, a worn corduroy blazer over a white henley with the top button undone, a battered paperback stuffed into the breast pocket like an afterthought that was actually very much thought about. Hair pushed back, slightly disheveled in that way that takes effort to achieve.
Kerouac. Obviously.
His eyes move from you to Jimin, then back.
"Hey."
"Hey!" Jimin straightens, already movingâthat fluid, instinctive thing he does where he creates space before anyone asks for it. "I was justâeyeliner. She needed eyeliner. I'm done though."
He shoots you a grin.
"You're welcome for the best wings of your life."
"Thank you, doctor."
He snorts as he passes Jason in the doorwayâa quick nod, shoulder turned to slip throughâand then he's gone.
You turn back to the mirror. Check the work.
The wings are, annoyingly, perfect. Bold, symmetrical, the exact angle you'd have chosen if your hands were a surgeon's and not, historically, the hands of someone who once tried to do her own eyeliner on the subway and ended up looking like someone had done your makeup during an earthquake for an entire Thursday.
You make a mental note to bribe Jimin into doing this at every future event forever.
Jason's reflection appears behind yours.
"Hi," you say to his reflection.
"Hi." He pushes off the frame. Moves closerâclose enough that his voice drops without dropping, just gets quieter as a function of proximity. "You lookâ"
He stops. Reassesses, the way he does when his first draft isn't good enough.
"I was going to say it's a shame about Virginia Woolf."
You raise an eyebrow at him in the mirror. "Excuse me."
"Thematically." He picks up the thought carefully, like he's handling glass. "On paper, it would've beenâ you know. Kerouac and Woolf. The road and the stream of consciousness. There's an argument there."
"There's an English department argument there."
"That'sâyes, fair, that's exactly what it is." He has the self-awareness to look mildly embarrassed. "But I want it on record that I was skeptical about Medusa at first."
Something tightens across your shoulders.
"At first," he continues. "And then Iâ"
He crosses the rest of the distance. His arms come around you from behindâloose, warm, not confiningâand his chin finds the curve of your shoulder. Both of you looking at the same mirror.
"You're really pulling it off," he says, quiet. "I mean it. The whole thing. The snakes, the liner, theâ"
He exhales.
"You look... Wow."
"Wow is not an adjective."
"Wow is absolutely an adjective when you look like that."
He turns you gently by the waist until you're facing him instead of the mirror. Studies youâthe snakes, the gold, the liner, the bare shoulders.
"Give me a spin?"
"AÂ spin?"
"A twirl. I want the full three-sixty."
You groan but you do itâskirt flaring with the movement so the slit opens and the chain belt catches the light and for one stupid second you feel like a kid at prom.
Self-conscious and a little ridiculous and hoping someone thinks you're pretty.
When you come back around, Jason's face confirms it.
He thinks you're pretty.
"The skirt's too short," you hear yourself say.
Because of course you do. Because you can't just take the compliment and let it sit there, can you.
Can't just let someone look at you like that without immediately offering them a reason not to.
"It's not too short."
"Jason. My entire thigh is out. Likeâthe whole thing. If I bend over, people are going to see myâ"
"It's not too short." Firmer this time. "You look incredible. You look like you could turn every guy at that party to stone and not even feel bad about it."
A pause. Small smile.
"Which, given the costume, is kind of the point."
He spins you so youâre facing the mirror again, and he presses his lips to your shoulder. Stays there a beat.
Your eyes stay on the sink.
On the marble. The scattered bobby pins. The cap of Irya's liner.
Small things. Ground-level things.
He says your name.
Not babe, not Medusa, not anything playful. Just your name, and the way he says it has weight behind itâthe careful weight of something he's been holding for a while and has finally decided to set down.
"I want to talk about something."
His reflection's looking at yours. Waiting.
You watch the small, private smile form at the corners of his mouthâpatient, warm, the kind that doesn't ask for anything back.
And you're quiet for long enough that it becomes a statement.
Long enough that the word skeptical is still sitting in your sternum, lodged there, growing a little larger the way an inconvenient word does when you don't deal with it immediately.
Why did he need to include that.
Skeptical. Like it required convincing. Like Medusa was something he had to come around to, some compromise he generously decided to accept.
"Why skeptical?" you hear yourself say.
He blinks. Loosens slightly around you. "Sorry?"
"About Medusa." You keep your voice even. Even is good. Even is controlled. "You said you were skeptical. Why?"
"I just meantâcostume-wise, it can be hard toâ"
"It's a smart costume." The thread tightens. Just a little. "She's not a monster because she was one. She's a monster because someone decided her pain was inconvenient and turned it into a story about a pretty face that kills things. And then everyone dresses up as Perseus, the hero, like he didn't justâ"
"I didn't mean it likeâ" He breathes out. Careful. "I'm sorry. I didn't think you cared that much."
The knot pulling at your throat goes tighter.
"It's not that I care that much, Jason," you say, forcing the anger to recede, picking words carefully.
Because you only get to say this once before it becomes A Thing, and you don't want it to become A Thing, you just want it to be true
"I just." A breath. "I didn't want to be Virginia Woolf. I know that's what we talked about and I know the pairing would've been cohesive and you would've looked great and everyone would've gotten it immediately. But Virginia Woolf isâshe's yours. She fits your costume. And I would've just been the matching piece."
Your eyes finally lift to your own reflection.
To the snakes and the liner and the chain belt sitting low on your hips.
"I didn't want to dilute myself just to be a good mold to your costume."
Silence.
Jason's chest doesn't move for a second behind you.
He opens his mouth.
Closes it.
Your phone buzzes on the counter. Then again.
You glance down automaticallyâreflex that makes you check your phone when you're mid-conversation even though you know it's rude and you hate that about yourself.
You almost send âdogs don't have hooves that's literally the whole pointâ but Jason's still standing behind you and you're beingârude.
You lock the phone. Set it face-down on the counter.
When you look up, Jason's eyes are on your wrist.
The bracelet.
It lasts maybe two seconds. Maybe less.
"Sorry," you say, turning to face him fully. "You were saying something?"
Jason blinks. The furrow between his brows flattens.
Whatever sentence he'd been running through internal quality control, whatever thought he'd carried into this bathroom with that careful look on his face, it folds itself up and slides neatly behind his smile.
"Nothing." He shakes his head. "It can wait. Should we head down?"
"Yeah."
You grab the lipstick Irya leftâthe dark berry one, last layerâand swipe it on without checking the mirror.
"Yeah, let's go before Yeji starts a revolution without us."
He holds out his hand.
You take it. His fingers are dry and warm and they close around yours as the tiny rain charm digs gently into the web of his thumb.
Jason doesn't mention it.
The party is louder than it has any right to be for a house that still has doilies on the armrests.
Tessa's grandparents' living room has been transformed into something between a haunted speakeasy and a Brooklyn warehouse rave, which shouldn't work but somehow doesâstring lights swapped for orange and purple, candles in jack-o-lanterns lining the mantle, a fog machine somebody smuggled in chugging away in the corner near the fireplace and making everything look like a cologne commercial directed by Tim Burton.
The furniture's been pushed to the walls to make a dance floor that nobody's really using yet because it's that stage of the nightâtoo early to dance, too late to pretend you're not drinking.
You're three sips into something Hobi made that tastes like liquid Jolly Rancher and almost certainly has enough vodka to dissolve tooth enamel, and you're doing that thing where you stand near enough to a group to appear social without actually having to contribute to conversation.
It's an art form, really. You've perfected it.
Jason, on the other hand, doesn't need to fake it.
He's across the room with a cluster of Tessa's film friendsâDylan the Nolan disciple, a girl dressed as Mia Wallace who's been twirling her wig all night, and two guys whose names you immediately forgot because they introduced themselves at the same time and your brain just filed them both under âbeard.â
Jason's laughing at something one of them said, drink in hand, posture open, doing that thing where he touches people's arms when he talks.
Not in a sleazy way.
Itâs rather a âI'm genuinely interested in what you're saying and I want you to know thatâ way.
He's good at this. Effortlessly, irritatingly good.
Someone asks about his research and he gives an answer that's smart without being condescending, funny without trying too hard, and brief enough that it invites a follow-up instead of shutting the conversation down.
This is what a functional adult in a social setting looks like.
This is what it looks like when someone doesn't treat every group interaction like a hostage negotiation.
You should take notes.
He catches your eye from across the room and winks.
You know him enough to understand thatâs his way of saying âI see you standing there alone and I think you're beautiful and I'll come rescue you in a minute.â
You half-smile back and take another sip of Hobi's chemical weapon.
The middle couch is where you end up twenty minutes later, wedged between Jason and the arm rest, his hand resting on your knee over the drape of your skirt. Hobi's holding court from the floor, cross-legged, telling a story about a Broadway choreographer who threw a shoe at him during tech rehearsal.
"âand I'm standing there, holding the pose, and this manâthis grown, adult, Tony-nominated manâjust hurls a Capezio at my headâ"
"Did it hit you?" Mia Wallace asks, riveted.
"It hit the mirror. Behind me. Seven years bad luck. Which, honestly, explains my entire 2022."
Laughter ripples around the group.
You're smiling tooâHobi's delivery is genuinely good, theatrical in a way that knows it's theatrical, which is the difference between annoying and magnetic.
And that's when you notice it.
Across the room. The other couch. The smaller one, the loveseat tucked into the alcove by the bookshelf where the lighting is dimmer because the nearest jack-o-lantern burned out an hour ago and nobody replaced it.
Yoongi's sitting there.
Which isn't unusualâYoongi gravitates toward the darkest, quietest corner of any room like it's a biological imperative.
What is unusual is that he's sitting there with Jimin, and they're not just near each other, they'reâclose.
Jimin's angled toward him, one leg tucked underneath him on the cushion, and his knee is touching Yoongi's thigh. Just resting there. Casual. Like it landed and neither of them bothered to move it.
Yoongi's talking.
Yoongi is talking.
Not in his usual three-word-maximum, energy-conservation style. He's actually saying somethingâmouth moving, gestures happening, and whatever it is has Jimin leaning in closer with that soft focus he gets, the one where his whole face goes quiet and attentive like everything else in the room has been muted.
Yoongi says something and Jimin laughsânot loud, not the bright startled one from the bathroom earlier. A different one. Low and warm and aimed downward, like he's trying to keep it between them. His hand comes up and lands on Yoongi's knee, a brief pressure, and stays there for a beat too long to be nothing before lifting.
Yoongi doesn't react.
Which, if you know Yoongiâand you're starting toâis itself a reaction.
Because Yoongi reacts to being touched the way most people react to being handed a live fish.
He flinches. He shifts. He creates distance with the efficiency of someone who's been practicing it for years.
He doesn't flinch.
He keeps talking.
Huh.
"âand then he sent me an edible arrangement the next day," Hobi finishes, throwing his hands up. "With a card. 'Sorry about the shoe. You were flat on the eight-count.' I was not flat on the eight-countâ"
"You were a little flat," Yoongi calls from the alcove without looking up.
Hobi gasps with his entire torso. "Min Yoongi. From the peanut gallery."
"Youâve told me this story already, and you ended up admitting you were flat."
"I was expressive."
"You were a half-beat behind and your hip alignment was off. You literally told me."
Jimin bites his lip. Tries not to smile. Fails.
The conversation then driftsâcostumes, classes, someone's roommate horror story that makes your living situation look downright idyllicâand at some point Dylan brings up a film festival submission deadline that loops in half the room.
Jason's arm stretches along the back of the couch behind you, not quite around your shoulders but present, and you settle into the warmth of it without thinking.
"What about you?" Dylan points his beer at you. Scooby-Doo villain energy, this guy, at all times. "You're an English major, right? You got any thoughts on adaptation? Like, book-to-filmâwhen does it work, when does it fall apart?"
You open your mouth.
"Oh, she's big on fidelity to source material," Jason says, squeezing your knee.
He turns to Dylan with that easy, confident deliveryâthe one that works so well in seminar rooms and networking events and everywhere else where knowing the answer before you're asked is an asset.
"She thinks most adaptations fail because directors prioritize their own vision over the author's intent. Right, babe?"
Babe.
The word lands weird. Not bad, justânew. He's never called you that in front of people before.
But alsoâ
"That's not exactlyâ"
"No, I get it," Dylan says, nodding like Jason just delivered a TED Talk. "The auteur problem. The director overwrites the text."
"I mean, it's more complicated than that." You shift forward slightly, Jason's hand sliding to your lower back with the movement. "Fidelity isn't really the point. A slavishly faithful adaptation can still be a bad movie. It's more aboutâunderstanding what the source is actually doing. What it's exploring emotionally, structurally. And then finding the cinematic equivalent of that. Not copying the plot. Translating the experience."
You pause. Feel the room's attention, which you didn't ask for and don't love.
"Like, âNo Country for Old Menâ isn't great because it followed the McCarthy novel beat for beat. It's great because the Coens understood what the book felt likeâthat dread, that silence, the sense that violence is arbitrary and meaninglessâand they found a way to put that feeling on screen. The adaptation is faithful to the mood, not the manuscript."
Silence. Dylan blinks.
"Shit. Yeah, okay, that's actuallyâyeah."
Jason's thumb strokes your back. "That's what I meant," he says lightly.
It wasn't.
It wasn't what he meant, because what he said was fidelity to source material and what you said was the opposite of that, and the difference mattersâit matters to you, at least, in the way that precision always matters to someone who chose a career built on the exact right word in the exact right place.
But nobody else caught the discrepancy, and Jason's already nodding like your answer was a more eloquent extension of his, and correcting him further would make you look petty, would make you look like the girl who can't let things go, and so youâ
Let it go.
Sip your drink. Lean back. Feel his hand warm and steady on your spine.
It's fine.
He was trying to include you. Trying to make you look good.
It came from a kind place, even if it landed in a wrong one, and you're beingâyou're being oversensitive.Â
You know this.
You're premenstrual and overcaffeinated and you've been on edge since the shower and the orange and the pool and the towel texts and the bracelet pressing into Jason's thumb, and you're looking for reasons to be irritated because irritation is easier than whatever the alternative is.
So you let it go. Take a deep breath.
Jason kisses your temple.
"You're the smartest person in this room," he murmurs against your hair.
Then he should let you finish your own sentences.
The thought surfaces fast and mean and you drown it in Jolly Rancher vodka before it can take root.
Jason's hand slides to your waist, and you let yourself be pulled into the shape of himâshoulder against chest, hip against hip, the cedar warmth of his cologne settling over you like a second layer of clothing.
And it'sâgood.
It's warm and solid and the room's too loud and your cramps are creeping back and there's something genuinely, uncomplicated nice about being held by someone who runs warm when you run cold.
He laughs at something Hobi says and the vibration travels through his ribcage into your spine, and you let your eyes close for half a second. Just long enough to take inventory.
Safe.
That's the word. Not fireworks, not a defibrillator to the chest, justâsafe.
Predictable in the way that the good things are supposed to be predictable, like sunrise, like your coffee order, like gravity.
Nothing's going to lurch sideways. Nobody's pulling a rug.
You can work with safe.
You open your eyes. Do the room scanâautomatic, compulsive, the background app your brain refuses to close.
Hobi on the floor mid-anecdote. Dylan nodding too hard. Taehyung gesturing with a full drink, which means somebody's getting baptized in vodka before the hour's up. Yoongi and Jimin still in the alcove.
No Yeji.
You frown. Scan again. No Irya either, but Irya follows Yeji the way weather follows the jet stream, so locating one solves both.
"Hey." You tilt your head back against Jason's shoulder. "Have you seen Yeji?"
He scans. Shakes his head. "Not since she came downstairs. Maybe outside?"
You should find her.
A Yeji without a check-in is a Yeji who's either having the best night of her life or about to commit a felony, and the probability split on that is genuinely fifty-fifty.
"I'm gonna go look." You peel yourself from his side, which requires actual effort because he doesn't let go immediatelyâfingers pressing into your hip for one more beat, a gentle parenthesis, before releasing.
"Want company?"
"No, stay. I'll be quick."
He catches your hand. Brings it to his mouth. Presses his lips to your knuckles like he's in a Brontë novel and not a fog-machine-haunted living room in Greenwich Village.
"Hurry back, Medusa."
Okay. Charming. Fully charming. No notes.
You weave through the living room, sidestep the fog machine's overzealous output and a Joker whose purple coattails are a legitimate trip hazard, and check the kitchen (empty except for two people arguing about whether Aperol Spritz counts as a cocktail), the back porch (smokers, no Yeji), and the bathroom (locked, muffled giggling, not touching that).
Which leaves upstairs.
The staircase swallows the party noise in incrementsâeach step trades bass for silence until you're on the second-floor landing and the music's just a pulse in the floorboards.
The lighting situation up here is borderline criminal: one wall sconce, two guttering electric candles, and the fog machine's runoff creeping along the baseboard like something from a Hammer horror film.
And when you turn, suddenly, you see Ghostface.
Tall. Dark robe. Hood up. That white mask with its long, warped scream tilted toward you in the dim corridor, standing in the doorway of the study like the house generated him. Hands loose at his sides. Still as furniture.
Your pulse bumps. Once. Involuntary.
You know it's him.
The bump is because of the mask.
Because your body has a whole filing system for the mask thing that operates independently of your prefrontal cortex, and the file is labeled with a conversation you should never have had on a warehouse with Mr. Stupid over here.
Mr. Stupid whoâs currently standing in a dark hallway wearing the exact thing you told him about.
The mask tilts. Slow. That measured Ghostface head-cock, curious and considering, and the precision of it tells you he's been waiting for someone to walk by.
Probably specifically you.
Probably for longer than is psychologically normal.
"What took you so long?" you say, crossing your arms. "I expected this ambush like twenty minutes ago."
A beat. The mask stares.
"Couldn't find a dark enough hallway?" You gesture at the sconce behind him. "This one's actually pretty well-lit, Ro. By your standards."
His hand comes up. Pushes the mask over his forehead.
Flushed. Sweaty at the hairline. Hair wrecked from the hoodâpushed back and falling forward simultaneously, a physics anomaly that should look stupid and does not. Dark eyes already mid-laugh before his mouth catches up.
"I've been up here for twelve minutes," he says, and he sounds genuinely aggrieved about it. "Tae walked by and didn't even flinch. Hobi waved."
"Devastating. Truly. Your career in psychological terror is off to a flying start."
"I had a whole routine planned. The slow walk. The head tilt. The hand trailing along the wall."
"And you wasted it on an empty hallway."
"I wasted it on Taehyung, who asked me if I'd seen the bathroom." He leans against the doorframe, arms folded across the black robe. "I blame the mask. Hard to hide my recognizable handsomeness behind it."
"Wouldn't have thought that'd be the hard part." You make a show of looking him up and downâthe robe, the boots, the whole ensemble. "Given your ego, I mean. That oneâs impossible to hide."
"I do have a bigger thing that needed hiding, for the record, but the robe's actually pretty accommodatingâ"
"Oh, godâ"
"âsurprisingly roomy in the front, good ventilationâ"
"That is the weakest thing you've ever said to me and you once called coffee a 'warrior's drink' with a straight face."
"Coffee is a warrior's drink. That's objective." He points at you. "You're a tea person. Your opinion on this is constitutionally invalid."
"My opinion on your dick joke is constitutionally invalid because I drink tea?"
"See, you said dick joke, which means you understood the reference, which means it wasn't weak, so I kinda win."
You press your lips together. Hard.
Because the laugh trying to escape is not going to make it out.
It's not.
You refuse to give him the satisfaction of landing a joke that was, at best, a C-minus on the execution scale, even if the delivery had that specific deadpan energy he does where his face stays almost serious and only his eyes give it awayâbright, pleased, watching you fight yourself.
He sees it. Obviously he sees it.
"You're holding it in."
"I'm not holding anything in."
"Your jaw is doing the thing."
"I don't have a thingâ"
"The thing where you bite the inside of your cheek because you'd rather die than let me see you laugh. That thing. It's happening right now."
You make a sound that is categorically not a laugh. It's a scoff. An exhale. A brief, involuntary release of air that happens to travel through your nose in a way that sounds adjacent to amusement but is, in fact, disdain.
His grin widens. "Knew it."
"Shut up."
"Never."
You roll your eyesâfull rotation, the kind that strains the actual muscleâand you're about to turn and walk away, leave him to his empty hallway and his failed Ghostface career, when you notice him putting the mask back on.
Itâs crooked in an angle that's making him look less âiconic horror villainâ and more âdrunk frat guy who forgot which way the visor goes.â
The elastic strap is caught on his ear in a way that probably itches but he hasn't fixed because he's too busy being pleased with himself to notice he looks ridiculous.
You step forward.
Close the distance before the thought fully formsâtwo steps, maybe three, until you're right there, in front of him.
Your fingers find the edge of the mask. Adjust the strap where it's snagged on the cartilage of his earâgentle, careful, a small correction that takes maybe four seconds and requires you to be close.
"There." Your voice comes out quieter than you planned. "You were crooked."
He hasn't moved. That's the thing. He hasn't moved at all. Hasn't leaned back, hasn't turned his head, hasn't done any of the things a normal human does when someone gets into their space uninvited.
He's justâstill. Looking down at you with an expression that's lost the grin but kept the heat behind it.
"You got awfully close for that, Nix," said in that shit-eating smug tone of his. "That necessary?"
You drop your hand. Step back.
Smack stupid his shoulderâfirm, open-palmed, the kind of hit that's more punctuation than violence.
"Don't be weird about it."
"I'm not being weird. You're being weird. You came to me."
"Your mask was crooked. I fixed it. That's called being a decent person."
"That's called finding an excuse to touch me."
"I will end your life."
"Promises, promises."
He pushes off the doorframe, unfolding himself to full height, and his gaze drops.
Not to your face. Lower. To the slit of the skirt, the length of your thigh, the gold chain belt sitting low on your hips.
He takes his time about itânot leering, not predatory, but thorough in a way that makes your skin heat.
The grin returns, but different. Sharper at the edges.
Knowing.
"That's a lotta leg for a house party, Phee."
And normallyânormallyâyou'd volley this back.
But.
Something about the fact that you already had this exact anxiety in the bathroom mirror an hour ago and Jason's reassurance helped but didn't fix itâŠ
"I know," you hear yourself say. Quieter than you meant to. "It'sâa bit short, right?"
His grin flattens. Something else takes its placeâattention. The sudden, focused kind, like a lens snapping into resolution.
He looks at you. Really looks, in a way that's different from the look three seconds ago.
"Hold on." His voice drops the tease entirely, levels out to something almost gentle. "Seriously?"
"It's fine. It's notâ"
"Give me your hand."
"What?"
"Hand. Give it."
You give it. Automatic.
His fingers close around yoursâwarm, dry, the silver ring cool against your knuckleâand he lifts your arm, stepping back to create space between you.
"Turn."
"I'm notâ"
"Nix. Spin."
You spin. Slowly, because the hallway's narrow and because his hand is guiding you at a pace that's measuredânot the playful twirl Jason asked for downstairs.
This feels⊠different.
He's looking at the hemline, the fall of the fabric, the way the slit moves when you turn. Checking where it hits, how high it rides, what shows and what doesn't.
You come back around. He's still holding your hand.
"You're safe."
"You'reâ"
"It's short. But it's short in a completely accurate way." He says this with the conviction of someone delivering a professional opinion. "The slit opens when you walk but it falls back. Nothing's showing that you don't want showing. The chain keeps the drape in place. And the corset balances out the legâit reads intentional, not accidental."
You blink.
He notices your reactionâor lack of oneâand he shrugs.
"I'm a film major. I know how costumes read on camera. And in person."
A beat.
"You look good. Don't fuck with it."
Something in your chest loosens. Not all the way. But enough.
"Since when do you know anything about women's hemlines?"
"Since I spent three semesters studying costume design as visual narrative." He crosses his arms, leaning back against the wall. "Also, I have eyes, Nix."
"Debatable."
"Fully functional, twenty-twenty, and currently appreciating the commitment to the Medusa bit."
He nods toward your hairâthe gold chains threaded through it, the snake earrings.
"The detail work's good. Yeji?"
"Yeji and Irya."
"Figures."
His gaze lingers on the snake cuff wrapped around your bicep. Then moves to the corset. Thenâfor a beat too longâto your face. The eyeliner Jimin did. The dark berry lip.
He's quiet for a second.
"It's a very interesting costume," he says finally. Slow. Choosing each word like he's placing stones across a river. "Especially the part where Medusaâs whole power is that men can't stop looking at her."
His eyes don't leave yours.
"Even though they know it'll destroy them."
The hallway shrinks.
"Even though they've been warned."
Don't react. Do not react.
"That'sâ" You swallow. "That's not really the feminist reading of the myth."
"Wasn't going for feminist."
His grin comes back. Slow. One side first, then the other, like it's uncurling.
Something behind your ribcage does a thing you refuse to name.
It has syllables. It has a shape. It sits in the space between your lungs like a word you swallowed before it made it to your mouth and now it's just lodged there, taking up room, refusing to dissolve.
He pushes off the wall. Steps forwardâdirectly toward you, directly through the space you're occupying, because Jungkook doesn't take the available path when the unavailable one runs through you.
And the smell. That smell. Cutting through the fog machine haze and the lingering cedar of Jason's cologne that's still on your skin from being heldâ
Rain.
Clean, specific, impossible rain, the kind that doesn't come from a bottle, it only exists as himâand it hits your bloodstream like a door opening in a room you thought was sealed.
He's past you. Three steps. Five.
And right before he rounds the corner, just before the dark and the fog fold over him completelyâ
"Was going for accurate."
By the time you make it back downstairs, the house has gone feral.
Thereâs a guy in a Roman centurion costume doing a body shot off somebody dressed like a Playboy bunny near the dining table, beer pong has taken over one whole corner of the living room, and Hobi is standing on the hearth in a white tank top with fake chest hair yelling rules at people like heâs the glitter-coated cruise director of hell.
Everything is louder than before. It feels like the whole place tipped over while you were upstairs and just kept rolling.
And okay. Maybe youâre a little fuzzy too. Pleasantly blurred around the edges.
Threeâno, fourâof Hobiâs homicidal Jolly Rancher concoctions sitting warm in your bloodstream, enough that the staircase feels a little softer under your feet and everyoneâs costumes look half a shade more ridiculous than they did an hour ago.
Ridiculous includes Yeji and Irya, who choose that exact moment to stumble in through the open french doors from the courtyard looking like the worldâs hottest antique disaster.
You stop dead.
âOh, you have got to be kidding me.â
They both look up. Freeze. Exchange one of those guilty little glances that immediately answers the question before either of them opens their mouth.
Yejiâs in a black frock coat, lace at the throat, sole sort of corset (so Irya managed to get it on her after all), dark hair slicked back, mouth stained a theatrical wine-red that has definitely migrated past the lip line because Irya was probably the one applying it and then got distracted by being horny in a courtyard.
Irya, meanwhile, is all pale silk and velvet and luminous blonde curls, fake blood at the corner of her mouth, eyes glassy with delight.
Louis and Lestat. Obviously.
Of course they would pick the sluttiest possible interpretation of Interview with the Vampire and then look smug about it.
âWhere the fuck were you?â you ask, intercepting them before they can drift past. âIâve been looking for you two.â
âShhhh,â Irya says immediately, pressing a finger to her lips, then bursting into laughter at her own shushing.
Yeji squints at you with exaggerated concentration. âWhy are you so loud.â
âOh my god. You two are high.â
Another shared glance. Another collapse into giggles.
âJesus,â you say, because wow. âYou are actually high.â
âDylan made brownies,â Irya says.
Yeji hums. âTheyâre in the kitchen, by the way. Left side of the island. On the ugly orange plate.â
âThe one shaped like a leaf,â Irya clarifies helpfully.
âYou left me alone with film bros and Jasonâs terrifying ability to make eye contact with strangers,â you tell them. âAs friends, I donât think that was very feminist of you.â
Yeji pats your shoulder with immense gravity. âAs a feminist, I believe in your resilience.â
âAs your actual friend,â Irya says, leaning in with a grin too wide to be trusted, âyou look insanely hot.â
âInsanely,â Yeji echoes.
Then, because the night enjoys making a mockery of stability, they drift off again toward the living room like two beautifully stoned lesbians returning to sea, and youâre left standing there watching them go.
High. Great. Perfect. Incredible support system.
Still, brownies.
You cut through the crowd, past beer pong and a Frankenstein making out with Cleopatra against the bookshelf, and make your way to the island.
Ugly orange plate. Leaf-shaped.
There it is.
The brownies look offensively normal. Just little square chunks of domestic treachery sitting beside mixers, solo cups, a bowl of limes, andârandomlyâa tiny bottle of vanilla extract someone mustâve dragged out while raiding Tessaâs baking supplies for god knows what reason.
You reach for a brownie.
âBoo.â
You jump so hard your hand smacks the counter.
âOh, fuck youââ
Jungkookâs laugh comes warm and low, right by your ear, and then you realize why your pulse just shot into your throat: heâs got both hands planted on the counter on either side of your hips, boxing you in without actually touching you, leaning down just enough that his voice lands against the shell of your ear instead of in the room where it belongs.
Seriously. Personal space means nothing to him tonight.
You turn around and there he is, too close and very obviously enjoying himself.
Ghostface robe, hood down now. Mask gone, and you donât even wanna ask where the fuck he left it. Hair a mess. Eyes a little glassy. Mouth curled up at one corner like he cannot believe he got that reaction out of you.
âSeriously now I scared you?â he says. âPhoenix. Câmon.â
âI wasnât expecting to get ambushed in a kitchen.â
âThat sounds like a you problem.â
âThat sounds like youâre insufferable.â
âOnly because it works.â
It does. Which is deeply irritating.
He doesnât move back. Doesnât seem interested in moving back. Just stays there braced around you, heat pouring off him in lazy waves of whatever weed does to his usual edges.
Softer, maybe. Looser.
Not less cocky, though. If anything, worse.
Because sober Jungkook is already a menace.
Baked Jungkook apparently comes with reduced respect for linear thought and increased interest in hovering.
You open your mouth to tell him exactly that and then notice his focus slipping.
Not far. Just over your shoulder.
His gaze goes past you, unfocused for a second, snagging on something on the counter.
You follow it automatically andâ
Vanilla.
The stupid little bottle of extract sitting there with the cap on.
When you look back at him, his eyes are on your mouth.
Not your eyes. Your mouth.
Dilated, dazed a little, like his brain took a scenic detour and heâs still making the trip back. His throat moves when he swallows.
And okay. Great. Great, actually. Because your body, which has never once in its life chosen dignity, immediately clocks the look and reacts accordingly.
You fold your arms just so you have something to do with them. âYou stalking the baking supplies now?â
His mouth twitches.
âMaybe.â
âTake a brownie like a normal drug user.â
âAlready had one.â
âThat explains a lot.â
âDoes it?â His gaze flicks down slowly, then back up. âThought I was being pretty subtle.â
âYouâre incapable of subtlety.â
He bites his lip for half a second, tryingâand failingâto hide the smile threatening at the edges.
It makes him look modest and filthier at the same time, which really shouldnât be possible but seems to be one of his more annoying talents.
Your eyes flick, traitorous, to his mouth.
He catches that too. Obviously. Obviously, Jungkook catches it.
His head tips slightly toward the tiny bottle on the counter.
âDunno,â he says, voice gone a little rough now. âCraving cookies.â
You stare at him.
He stares back.
Cookie.
Is he serious.
The fucking nerve of this man.
âYouâre unbearable when youâre sober,â you tell him. âThis is worse.â
âAnd youâre prettier when youâre pissed off,â he says, immediate and easy, like it isnât even a line. âSo I guess we both came out ahead.â
Your brain does not so much short-circuit as flare out in little blue sparks.
Because thereâs no room to recover from that when he says it like that.
Not smooth or rehearsed or remotely thought-out.
Simply dropped between you like he reached into the air and set it down.
You scoff because what else are you supposed to do.
âDid the brownie make you stupid?â
âMade me honest.â
âThatâs unfortunate.â
âFor you maybe.â
âFor you, actually. Youâre the one talking like a horny baker.â
That gets him. His tongue presses briefly into his cheek and the smile he was holding back wins, slow and mean and stupidly gorgeous.
âYeah?â he says. âAnd whatâre you doing standing here smelling like dessert if not trying to start a problem?â
You hate him.
You hate that you know exactly what he means.
âItâs called soap, Ro.â
âMhm.â
âItâs called basic hygiene.â
âMhm,â again, but distracted this time, because his eyes drop to your mouth one more time and linger there long enough that it feels less like a glance and more like a hand.
Thereâs music thudding ten feet away. People yelling over pong balls and shots and somebody in a devil mask chanting âchug, chug, chug!â
The whole room is one big flashing idiot machine and somehow this little patch of counter feels cut out from it.
Just you, and him, and a brownie and that stupid bottle of vanilla extract sitting ominously.
A series of terrible, terrible life choices queuing politely in the wings.
âWhat,â you say, because your voice has come out thinner than youâd like and you resent that. âYou gonna write me a shopping list now? Flour, eggs, one functioning brain cell?â
He leans in a fractionânot much, but it makes his grin gain a private edge.
âDepends.â
âOn what?â
âWhether I get the cookie.â
You hold his gaze for a beat too long.
Two beats.
Three.
Then you reach behind you, snag a brownie off the ugly leaf plate, and shove it directly into his mouth.
His eyes go wide with genuine surprise before his teeth close reflexively around the edge and your fingers come back dusted with cocoa and crumbs.
"There," you say. "Cookie."
He chews, slowly, looking at you like you just performed a magic trick he's still trying to reverse-engineer.
"'At was a brownie," he says, mouth full, barely intelligible.
"Congratulations. You've been promoted from horny baker to food critic."
He swallows. Licks a crumb off his lower lip. Grins.
"Not the cookie I meant, Nix."
"Yeah, well. That's the cookie you got. Consider it a gift."
"A gift."
"A charitable donation. From me to you. Because you looked hungry and sad."
"I looked hungry and sad."
"Standing in a kitchen at a party with a Ghostface robe and no mask. That's textbook hungry and sad."
He huffs out a laughâhalf through his nose, half through his chestâand finally, finally pushes off the counter. Moves back enough that you can breathe without inhaling petrichor, though his warmth lingers in the space he vacated like a stain on the air.
You grab your own brownie. Bite into it. It's dense, fudgy, and hits the chocolate craving your uterus has been screaming about for the last forty-eight hours with the precision of a guided missile.
Also, it is absolutely laced.
You take another bite anyway.
"Real question," you say, chewing, gesturing at the living room behind you where the noise has reached a pitch that suggests property damage. "Why are you lurking in the kitchen? Shouldn't you be out there doing shots with the centurion or whatever?"
He leans his hip against the counter beside you. Arms crossed. Casual. The robe hangs open over a black t-shirt that's doing things to his chest that no cotton-polyester blend should be legally allowed to do.
"Already did." He holds up three fingers. Counts them off. "Tequila, something Hobi poured that I think was Midori, and a Jell-O shot from the Playboy bunny."
"Three shots and a brownie."
"Four shots. There was one earlier that I'm counting separately because Tae dared me to take it without hands."
"Withoutâhow do you take a shot without hands?"
"With difficulty and zero dignity." He mimes something with his head that looks like a chicken drinking water. "The centurion filmed it. It's on like four people's stories."
You snort. Actually snort, which you will deny under oath.
"So you've peaked already. That's what you're saying."
"Peaked, plateaued, entered my reflective era. I'm in the kitchen now. This is where the intellectuals gather."
"The intellectuals and the brownies."
"Same thing after enough THC."
You finish the first brownie. The chocolate is still thick on your tongue and the cramps are a dull throb behind your navel and you already know you're going to eat a second one because your willpower around edibles is roughly equivalent to your willpower aroundâ
Nope. Not finishing that thought.
You grab another brownie. He watches you do it with his eyebrows slightly raised.
"That's your second."
"Astute observation."
"Those areâyou know those aren't regular brownies, right?"
"I'm aware."
"Two of those, plus whatever Hobi put in your cupâ"
"Is this a lecture? Are you lecturing me right now? In that robe? I know youâre not lecturing me in a robe."
"Whatâs wrong with myâanyway, I'm just saying. Those hit different than smoking. There's a delay."
"I've had edibles before, Ro."
"When?"
"Sometimes? Like a normal person?"
"Mhm." He looks unconvinced but doesn't push it, which is mature of him.
Almost suspiciously mature.
You bite into the second brownie. Let the chocolate do its work.
A beat passes. The bass thumps from the other room. Somebody shrieks with laughterâhigh, delighted, the sound of someone having the kind of fun you're supposed to be having instead of eating your horniness in a kitchen with a man dressed like a serial killer.
"Honestly though," you say, quieter now, because the sugar's settling and the question's been sitting there since you found him in the hallway. "You okay? You've been lurking all night. The hallway thing. Now this."
He doesn't answer immediately.
His jaw works around something that isn't food.
"Yeah." A shrug. "Yeah, I'm fine. Parties are justâ"
He trails off. Picks at the seam of his robe's sleeve. Rolls it between his thumb and forefinger in a way that looks idle but isn'tâyou've seen him do this before, back at the apartment, with guitar picks and pen caps and the cuff of whatever hoodie he's wearing.
"Parties are just what?"
He exhales. Quiet. Through his nose.
"Last big party I was at didn't end great."
The sentence comes out flattened. Ironed down to nothing, all the wrinkles pressed out until it's smooth and small and sounds like it costs him exactly zero to say, which means it costs him everything.
You wait.
He doesn't elaborate. Just keeps rolling the seam between his fingers, eyes on the counter, on the leaf-shaped plate, on nothing.
"My birthday, actually." A sound that wants to be a laugh. Doesn't make it. "Twenty-first. Big one, right? Supposed to be this wholeâthing."
He gestures vaguely.
The gesture contains a birthday party, a thing that went wrong, and an entire universe of context he's not giving you.
"Wasn't."
Two syllables. That's all he gives it.
You set the half-eaten brownie down.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
You watch movement travel the length of his throatâslow, visible, Adam's apple dipping and rising beneath the mole on the left side of his neck.
His eyes drop to the floor.
He stays there for what feels like a long time. Looking at the tile. At his boots. At the space between his feet where something's sitting that he can't or won't name, and you can see him decidingâframe by frame, like one of his film editsâhow much of himself to put in this cut.
His tongue slides across his lower lip. Unconscious.
"Maybe later,â is said to the floor.
Then he lifts his head and the grin is backâthinner, working harder, held up by less scaffolding than usualâbut it's there.
"I'll put it on the agenda. Right after 'bully Dylan about aspect ratios' and before 'steal Yoongiâs aux cord.'"
"That's a packed schedule."
"I'm a busy man, Nix."
You want to push. You want to ask. Youâre feeling the same exact urge that makes you crack open a book's spine too far.
You don't push.
Because you know what it sounds like when someone says âmaybe laterâ and means ânot here, not yet, not with this many people and this much noise and this little distance between the version of me that can talk about it and the version that's standing in a kitchen trying to be funny.â
You know because you speak the same dialect.
"Your agenda should also include finding a better costume," you say instead, mild. "Ghostface without the mask is just a guy in a bath robe."
"Okay, seriously?" His jaw drops in absolute offense. "AÂ guy in a bath robe?"
"A guy at a Marriott. Heading to the continental breakfast."
"Take that back."
"I will not."
"This robe cost forty dollars."
"From the Marriott gift shop?"
"From the warehouse we bought the costumes from, you absoluteâ"
You take another bite. Smaller this time, savoring it, because this brownie is doing more for your emotional wellbeing than three years of therapy and a Lexapro prescription combined.
Jungkookâs eyes track the movement.
âGive me a bite.â
âGet your own.â
âYouâre literally standing in front of the plate.â
âSo extend your arm.â You gesture at the counter behind you, where the ugly leaf plate sits with at least four brownies still on it. âTheyâre right there. Use your limbs. You have two of them.â
âI want that one.â
âThis one is mine. I picked it up. Possession is nine-tenths of the law.â
âThatâs for property.â
âBrownies are property.â
He makes a grab for it and you yank it back, holding it behind your hip, and heâs doing that thing where he leans into your space instead of going around you because apparently the concept of a detour doesnât exist in his spatial vocabularyâ
And then.
Fast.
He ducks forward and licks a broad stripe right across the top of the brownie. Tongue flat. Maintaining eye contact the entire time like a feral animal marking territory at the dinner table.
âEwââ
âI licked it.â He pulls back, satisfied, the corner of his mouth shining with chocolate. âSo itâs mine.â
You look at the brownie.
You look at him.
His tongue is still slightly out, the tip resting against his lower lip, and heâs waiting. Waiting for you to flinch, to drop it, to concede the territory like any reasonable person would when someone has just deposited their saliva on your dessert.
You hold eye contact.
Bring the brownie to your mouth.
Bite.
Slowly.
Right over the wet streak his tongue left.
Chew. Swallow. Donât blink.
His throat bobs on a swallow that has nothing to do with food and his teeth catch his bottom lip, pressing down in a way that blanches the skin white for half a second before releasing.
You tilt your head. Innocent. Mild.
âHm?â
His nostrils flare.
And then his handâ
It happens so fast you donât process it as a sequence. Just a blur of warm fingers closing around your wrist and then painâsharp, sudden, startlingâhis teeth sinking into the hand junction, right below the thumb, hard enough to dent.
âOWâwhat the fââ
Not a nibble. Not playful. An actual bite, the flat of his front teeth pressing into the soft flesh, jaw clenched for one pulsing second before releasing, and your brain is still bufferingâstill running the input through quality controlâ
Did that just happen, did he just BITE you in a KITCHEN at a PARTYâ
You shove him. Both hands, flat against his chest, and he staggersâactually staggers, catching himself against the counter with one hand, the robe swinging with the momentum, and heâs laughing. Low, rough, that THC-loosened sound that comes from the depths of his lungs, eyes half-lidded and bright with the specific delight of someone who has zero impulse control and even less remorse.
âYou bit me!â
âYou started it.â
âI startedâby eating a brownie?!â
âBy eating it like that.â
Heâs still braced on the counter, still grinning, and he looksâ
He looks like someone who just acted on a thought he shouldâve kept inside his skull and knows it and does not care even slightly.
âConsider us even.â
âWe are not even! Iâm going to have a bruiseââ
You hold up your palm. Thereâs an actual indentation. A crescent of teeth marks pressed into the fleshy part below your thumb, stinging, very much real.
He glances at it. His grin doesnât falter. If anything it gets worse.
âLooks good on you.â
Your palm throbs. Your face is hot. Your brain is running seven diagnostics simultaneously and none of them are returning coherent results because what the fuck just happened.
Youâre still staring at himâat the chocolate still smudged at the corner of his mouth, at the lazy tilt of his head, at the way heâs looking at you like heâd do it again in a heartbeat and isnât even pretending otherwiseâ
And thatâs when your gaze drifts.
Jason.
Jason, who is looking at you.
At you.
Standing at the kitchen counter with Jungkook, both of you leaning on the same surface, body angled toward his, chocolate on your fingers and a grin you didn't authorize still fading from your face.
Fuck.
Okay.
Okay, is thisâdoes this look like something?
From over there, with the fog machine and the low lighting and the way you're standing together, does this look like two roommates grabbing brownies, or does this look like what it used to be?
Does Jason know what it used to be?
No. He doesn't. He can't. There's no way, because you have never told him, and Jungkook sure as fuck hasn't told him, and nobody knows so this is fine. This is objectively fine.
Itâs just. Two people. At a counter. Eating brownies and being friendly and platonic.
Just two roommates at a party.
Jason tips his glass at you from across the room. Tiny smile. Warm.
You return it. Wave with fingers that are definitely not shaking.
Then you push off the counter.
"I gotta go," you say. Bright. Too bright.
You can hear the overcorrection in your own voice and pray the THC in his system is doing enough damage to his perception that he misses it.
"Gotta go where?" He frowns. "We were justâ"
"Places. Many places. People to see, Rogue. Parties to attend."
"You're at the party."
"Different part of the party. The part that's not this counter."
He stares at you. The frown deepens. Then smooths.
"Okay," he says. Easy. Too easy. "Go mingle. Turn some men to stone. It's what Medusa would want."
"Exactly."
"Try not to miss me."
"That has literally never been a risk."
You're already walking. Moving through the gap between the island and the stove with the focused momentum of someone who is very normal and not fleeing at allâ
"Nix."
You half-turn.
He's still leaning on the counter, robe hanging open, brownie crumbs on his fingers, and looking at you with that expression.
The one that's nine-tenths grin and one-tenth something else entirely, the fraction he never lets anyone see for long enough to name.
"Circles."
One word. Tossed across the kitchen like a coin.
Your face goes hot so fast it's a medical event.
He turns back to the plate of brownies like that was nothing.
You are going to kill him.
Later. Right now you have somewhere to be that isn't here.
The living room is a blur of fog and noise and costumes and you cut through it on autopilot, scanning for an anchorâsomething to attach yourself to that isn't the counter you just left or the couch where Jason is probably still watching, still running his literary analysis on the body language of a girl who just stood too fucking close to her roommate.
And then you see them.
Jimin and Yoongi. Sitting on a loveseat.
Jimin's leaning inâreally in, forehead practically at Yoongi's jawâand he's saying something that makes Yoongi go very still.
It's fluid (as usual, because everything Yoongi does is unhurried, the man refuses to grant any situation the courtesy of urgency) and he picks up his drink, says one more thing to Jimin that makes Jimin's mouth twitch, and then he's walking. Past you without acknowledgment because Yoongi doesn't do transitional greetings when he's mid-route. He's a man of efficiency.
Which leaves Jimin.
Alone on the loveseat.
In the dim alcove.
Looking at his hands.
You adjust your trajectory.
Swing wide around Tessa and the Mia Wallace girl (who apparently has mastered the slide movement), duck under Irikaâs gesticulating armâshe's mid-story, wine sloshing dangerouslyâand come up behind the loveseat at an angle that puts you directly behind Jimin's unsuspecting shoulders.
You throw your arms around him from behindâfull drape, both arms hooking over his shoulders, chin dropping onto the top of his headâand squeeze.
"BOO."
Jimin yelpsâa short, high, full-body jolt that makes his drink almost go off the edgeâand his free hand flies up to grab your forearm where it's crossed over his chest.
"Oh my GODâ"
"Gotcha."
"YouâI almostâ" He twists, craning his neck to look up at you, and his face is caught between genuine shock and the kind of outrage that's already dissolving into a laugh. "I almost spilled everywhere, you psychoâ"
"Blame your boyfriend's friend," you say, squeezing tighter. "He scared me upstairs and I had nowhere to put the adrenaline."
"He's not myâ" A strangled noise. "He is not my boyfriend."
"Mm."
"He's not."
"Sure."
âI mean it.â
âI believe you completely.â
âYou donât.â
âMm, I do.â
He gives you a look over his shoulder that says âyou are the worst liar I have ever metâ and opens his mouthâ
âSpeaking of believing things,â he says, deceptively mild, âdo you want to explain the pool?â
You blink. âWhat pool.â
âThe pool. The one you and Jungkook were in. Together. When I found you.â
âWe were looking for clues.â
âYouââ He twists to stare at you. âBoth of you? Simultaneously? Into a heated pool?â
âTessaâs thoroughâ
âHis hands were on yourââ
âWhat are you drinking?â You lean forward and grab his cup before he can finish that sentence. Bring it to your lips. Itâs something sweet and tropical and probably Hobiâs doing. âOh, this is good.â
âThatâs mineââ
âItâs really good, actually. What is this?â
âGive that backââ He huffs.
But he just gives up, smart man. Tips his head back into the hollow of your collarbone again, skull warm and heavy against you, and his hand resettles on your wrist. Staying.
"You look really good, by the way," you tell the top of his head, leaving the cup in one of the nearby tables.
"Yeah?" He tilts to glance up at you, mouth doing that pleased little downturn it does when he's trying not to smile. "The blood was Irya's idea. She said Poe needed more 'visual tragedy.'"
"She was right. You look like a beautiful man who's about to die of tuberculosis in a gutter."
"That's... the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me?"
"You're welcome."
Jimin is nice to hold onto. He runs warm and stays still and doesn't make it weird, which is a vanishingly rare quality in a human being.
Your chin settles on his head. You do the room scanâautomatic, compulsiveâand it lands on Yoongi.
Heâs across the room talking to someone you donât recognize. Short, beanie pulled low, a citrus-colored drink in one hand. Easy posture. Expressive eyes. Gorgeous in a way that reads immediately even from across a fog-machined living room. Laughing at something Yoongi said, which is already notable because Yoongi isnât funny. Heâs dry and occasionally cutting and sometimes accidentally hilarious, but he doesnât perform. Doesnât work for a laugh.
Heâs working right now.
Orânot working exactly. More like open. Relaxed in a way thatâs different from his usual economy-of-movement stillness. His hands are actually moving when he talks.
âWhoâs Yoongi talking to?â
A beat.
You feel it before you see itâthe slight shift in Jiminâs shoulders under your arms. Like he needed a second to decide how to hold the question.
âAlex,â he says. âYoongiâs friend from the industry circuit. Sound design.â
âOh.â A beat. Heat creeps up your neck, quiet and stupid. âIâm sorry. Theyâre really pretty.â
âThey are,â Jimin says.
And then says nothing else, which is somehow louder than anything he couldâve added.
You look back at Yoongi. At the way heâs leaning in slightlyâis he leaning in? Yoongi doesnât lean. Yoongi stands at a fixed, calculated distance from all living things and dares them to close it.
âŠHeâs definitely leaning.
Then you look at Jimin.
Jimin, who is looking at his drink.
Huh.
You narrow your eyes back at Yoongi.
And you decide itâs time to change the topic because you donât like it when Jimin goes small like this.
So you play Jungkookâs card.
Make light of the conversation.
âOkay. Important question.â You adjust your chin on his head. "What the fuck is Yoongi supposed to be?"
Jimin's chest starts shaking before the sound comes out.
"Don'tâ" he manages, but the laugh is already breaking through, hiccupy and barely contained. "Don't make meâ"
"Is he in costume? Was that his costume? Because it looks like he just... came as himself. In a black t-shirt. Which would actually be very on brandâ"
"He's Skrillex."
You blink.
"I'm sorry?"
"Skrillex." Jimin is vibrating with it now, that full-body silent laughter where nothing comes out because the sound got stuck somewhere between his lungs and his throat. "Heâhe shaved one side."
"He did not."
"He didn't. He pushed it back with gel. And he hasâ" Jimin loses it. Actually loses it, shoulders heaving, voice cracking into a wheeze. "He hasâclip-onâclip-on earrings. From Claire's."
"You are fucking joking."
"I am not. I watched him put them on." Jimin tips forward, both hands pressing against his mouth like he can physically hold the laughter in. "He stood in front of the bathroom mirror for twenty minutes doing the hair and then clipped on theseâthese dangly skull earrings from the teen section at Claire's and said 'this is fine' with a completely straight faceâ"
"Min Yoongi went to a Claire's."
"He went to a Claire's!"
"Min Yoongiâwho once told me he doesn't believe in accessories as a conceptâwent to Claire's."
"To buy SKULL EARRINGS." Jimin wheezes so hard he coughs. His eyes are wet. His whole face is crumpled with the force of it. "From the rotating display. The one next to the friendship braceletsââ
âBut waitâwait wait wait.â You hold up a hand. âThat doesnât even make sense! Skrillex has long black hair, itâs like his whole thing. Yoongi is blond. Heâs literally bleached. How is that Skrillex?â
âHe saidââ Jimin takes a shuddering breath. Loses it. Tries again. âHe said the hair was âconceptual.ââ
âCONCEPTUAL?â
âHe said heâs doing a âblonde era Skrillexâ and when I pointed out that Skrillex doesnât have a blonde era he told me toâand Iâm quotingââgoogle it harder.ââ
âIâm going to pass away.â
âI can'tâyou can't tell him I told you, he thinks he nailed itâ"
"He thinks he nailed it?!"
"He literally turned to me with the most serious face I have ever seen on a human being and asked if it was âaccurateâ.â
âAnd you said?â
âI said it looked great!â
âJimin.â
âWhat was I supposed to do?! He was making the faceâthe focused faceâand I couldnât tell him he wasnât pulling this off!â
âHeâs pulling off âguy who owns one black t-shirt and found earrings.â Thatâs what heâs pulling off.â
âThat isââ Jimin snorts. âThat is exactlyâoh my god, thatâs exactly what he looks likeââ
You're both gone. Completely, irretrievably gone. You've collapsed forward over his shoulders, forehead pressed to the back of his neck, and you're shaking with the kind of laughter that makes no noise because all the air's been used up.
Every time one of you starts to recover, the other says âClaire'sâ and it starts again.
Your ribs ache. Your cramps ache. Your face aches.
It's the best you've felt all night.
"Okay," you say finally, wiping your eye with the heel of your hand, careful not to smudge Jimin's liner work. "Okay. I have a follow-up."
"I can't take a follow-up."
"Why Skrillex?"
Jimin takes a shuddering breath. Composes himself. Fails. Tries again.
âHe saidââ Another breath. âHe said it was the costume with the least amount of effort that still technically counted as a specific person.â
"That's the most Yoongi thing I've ever heard."
"He ran a cost-benefit analysis. Out loud. To me. While eating cereal."
"Was the cereal part of the analysis?"
"The cereal was the baseline. He said anything that required more effort than eating cereal wasn't worth it."
You bury your face in his shoulder and scream a little bit. Quietly. Into the cardigan.
Then, finally, after what feels like forever, the laughter ebbs.
The mental image of Yoongi standing in a Claireâs examining skull earrings is going to sustain you through the winter, though.
Jimin relaxes back against you again.
"I'm glad you came," he says after a while, soft. "To this whole thing. The retreat."
"Yeah?"
"Mm. I was kind of dreading it? Five days is a lot of people for a lot of time." His thumb traces a small arc on your wrist. "But it's better. With people whoâyou know."
He doesn't finish the sentence.
He doesn't need to.
"Right back at you, Poe."
His head turns slightly. You catch the edge of his smile in profileâsoft, real, a little raw around the edges in a way that makes you think he's still carrying whatever was happening in this alcove before Yoongi stood up and walked away.
You don't ask.
You're getting good at that tonight. Not asking. Holding the space without prying the lid off.
"For the record," you murmur against his hair, "whatever's going on withâwhatever. You don't have to have it figured out. You're allowed to be in the aisle."
His thumb stops on your wrist.
Starts again. Slower.
"The aisle," he repeats. Like he's putting it somewhere safe.
"The aisle."
A breath.
Then his hand squeezes your forearmâbrief, tight, a pressure that says more than the sentence he doesn't build around itâand releases.
You feel calm like this. Draped over him, chin on his head, watching the party happen from a safe distance.
Hobi's moved on from the shoe story and is now trying to teach the Roman centurion a two-step. Taehyung and Irika are slow-dancing to a song that isn't slow, Yeji and Irya have resurfaced and are sharing a chair, Irya's legs across Yeji's lap, Yeji's hand absently trailing up and down her calf while she argues with someone about something you can't hear but can tell is political by the angle of her jaw.
It's good. All of it.
The noise and the fog and the warmth of Jimin's shoulders under your arms and the brownie starting to soften the edges of the room in a way that feels like putting on glasses that make everything slightly kinder.
Youâre going to be very high in about twenty minutes.
Suddenly, against all peaceful odds, you hear your name from Jasonâs voice.
âCan we talk?â
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if you liked this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee!! âĄ'âžâž'âĄ
pairing: jungkook x f!reader | rating: 18+ | wc: 8.3k | warnings: here
genre: e2l, fwb, gang au, angst with smut, slow burn, forbidden love
â the sound of almost â
"Thereâs a right choice, a wrong choice, and then thereâs the one he almost madeâand somehow, thatâs the one that hurts the most."
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âȘïž author's note: Oh GOD. Oh my god. Iâm actually a little emotional writing this and I do not like it. who allowed this. I genuinely donât even know where to begin. This feels⊠surreal in a way that I wasnât prepared for. Because this is it. This is the end of Book 1. My baby. Kkangpae. The fic that quite literally started everything for me online. The one that made me sit down one random day and go, âyeah, letâs ruin my sleep schedule and emotional stability for the foreseeable future.â And now Iâm here. Posting the last chapter of its first arc. Hello???? Iâm a little shaky, Iâm not even going to lie. Like HAHAHA why are my hands doing that. This is insane.
But before any of you start spiralingâbecause I KNOW youâI need you to breathe. This is the end of Book 1 only. Not the end of Kkangpae. Not even close. Kkangpae: Gyori (yes, thatâs the saga name, sheâs fancy like that) is planned as a trilogy, so we are simply⊠turning the page to the next act of this very long, very unwell story.
And oh, this chapter. I need you all to be very normal about this one. I mean it. I am looking directly at some of you through the screen. Be normal. (You will not be normal.) This chapter is⊠a lot. There is tensionâthick, suffocating, the kind that sits in your chest. There are soft moments that might make you lower your guard for approximately 0.5 seconds (mistake).
And then thereâs⊠everything else. So please, Iâm actually asking this seriouslyâfind a small pocket of time for this. However long it usually takes you to read a Kkangpae chapterâthirty minutes, an hour, however you pace yourselvesâgive it that space. Read it somewhere you feel comfortable. Donât rush it. Let it sit. Let it breathe. Because itâs heavy. And I donât like spoiling anything (you know I donât), but I like even less throwing you into a blender without at least looking you in the eye first and going, âhey. this might hurt a bit.â When I put warnings in my author notes, I donât do it for decoration. I do it because this worldâtheir worldâis not kind. Sometimes things donât turn out the way we expect them to. Sometimes there isnât a clean resolution, or a neat emotional payoff, or the outcome you were quietly hoping for. And especially in a gang AU⊠the nitty-gritty? Thatâs not the exception. Thatâs the baseline. Thatâs how they survive. Thatâs how theyâre shaped.
And I hope you understand that. I trust that you do.
Alsoâon a more logistical note before I start crying again for no reasonâI mentioned this already, but Iâll be taking a short hiatus after this to work on Book 2 (Geumji). I want to build a proper backlog so I can post consistently without spontaneously combusting in the process. So Iâll see you very soon on the other side of that, or in any of my other fics if you decide to hang around with me while I spiral elsewhere <3 And as always⊠Iâm extending my hand to you before you go in. Take it. We hold hands in this house. Kikizens, we suffer together.
Now go.
(And leave your hand-holding comments right here because I will be needing them too.)
Salt hits your nostrils while water slaps against pylons in a rhythm thatâs anything but soothing.
Youâre scanning left to right, taking note of shadows and shipping containers and too many places for armed assholes to hide, when Jeonâs hand lands on your hip.
Itâs a firm pressure that says âhaltâ in a language your body apparently speaks fluently now. Four fingers pressed to the front of your hipbone, thumb anchored at the back, and you freeze like he's flipped some internal switch.
âHold,â he murmurs, so close his breath hits the shell of your ear.
You feel him shift behind you, then beside you, then his chest brushes your shoulder as he leans in.
âWe need to sweep first,â he murmurs, breath warm against your ear.
Goosebumps race down your neck, and you bite the inside of your cheek because Jesus, his voice does things when itâs pitched low like that.
His eyes are already moving. Methodical. Left sector, center, right. You watch his pupils dilate slightly as he processes everything, like his brainâs running equations you canât see.
"Kaleido mentioned four men," he says, voice barely above a whisper. "But that's surface intel. Could be six. Could be eight. Depends on shift rotation and whether Fervio called for backup after the villa."
His fingers tap against your hip. Once, twice, three times. Soft little pulses that you feel more than hear.
"Wind's coming from the northeast at approximately four knots, which means sound carries toward the warehouses, not the water. Visibility's decentâmaybe sixty percent with the fog rolling in. Moon's at seventy-two percent luminosity, provides enough light for visual confirmation without night vision but not enough for clean long-range shots without thermal."
You blink. "...What?"
His thumb shifts slightly, pressing into the small of your back like he's anchoring himself.
"The patterns," he continues, totally unbothered by your confusion. "They'll likely run standard perimeter checksâtwo mobile, two stationary. If they're smart, they've got overwatch on the ship itself, probably the bridge or the cargo deck. If they're really smart, they've got a counter-sniper positioned somewhere with elevation advantage, which means I need to map probable vantage points before we move."
"Jeon."
"Blind spots areâ"
"Jeon."
He pauses. You feel it in the way his body goes still against yours, that tactical calculator brain of his grinding to a halt.
"Yeah?"
"I'm Seduction Division, not Tactical." You tilt your head just enough to catch his profile in your peripheral vision. "Translate for us mere mortals?"
His lips twitch. Not quite a smile, but close enough that it does something stupid to your pulse.
"Okay," he says, and his voice drops lower, softer, like he's letting you in on a secret. "See those three ships docked to the left?"
You nod.
"Two of Fervio's men are probably moving between them. They'll sweep the perimeter every fifteen minutes, maybe twenty if they're lazy. That gives us a window to move, but only if we time it right."
His fingers tap again, and you're starting to think it's not just tacticalâit's nervous energy.
Or maybe focus.
Hard to tell with him.
"The other two are stationary. One's probably on the ship itself, keeping watch over Yunjin. The other..." His eyes scan the surrounding buildings. "Somewhere high. Watching the approach."
"So we can't just walk up there."
"No. We need elevation first. Higher ground means better sightlines, which means I can map their positions before we commit to an approach vector."
You process that. "You need to see them before they see us."
"Exactly."
There's something almost pleased in his tone, like you passed some kind of test.
It shouldn't make you feel as good as it does.
"That's the difference," he adds, and there's a shift in his voiceâsomething darker threading through. "Between Tactical and Stealth."
You go still.
He brought it up.Â
He brought up V.
"V would already be moving," Jeon continues, matter-of-fact. "He'd use the fog, the shadows, the blind spots between ships. By the time they realized someone was there, he'd already be inside, and half of them would be dead."
His thumb presses harder against your back. Not painful, just... there.
Then his jaw tightens. Just a fraction.
âStealth is about chaos. V would go in close, fast, loud when it counts. Heâd use the first kill to draw the others out, then cut through them before they could process whatâs happening. No corridor. No plan. Justââhe exhales sharply through his noseââcircles.â
âCircles?â
âI think in straight lines,â Jeon says, and thereâs something almost bitter in his tone. âPoint A to point B. Cause and effect. V thinks in circles. Loops. Heâll take the longest route if it means fucking with someoneâs head first.â
You process that.
The way he knows Vâs patterns down to the philosophy behind them.
The way he can predict every one of Vâs moves despite the obvious hatred simmering between them.
You swallow. "You worked together though."
The words come out carefully. Not quite a question, but an opening. An invitation to say more if he wants.
"Before," you add, watching his face in the reflection of the water.
Before.
Jeonâs silent for a long moment. Long enough that you think heâs going to shut down completely, ice you out like he does when anyone gets too close to whatever historyâs carved into his bones.
But then he sighs.
It's barely audible, just this small exhale that sounds... tired.
"We did," he admits. The fingers on your hip go still. "We wereâ"
He stops. Recalculates. You can practically hear the gears turning as he searches for the right word.
"Effective."
That's not what he wanted to say.
You can tell by the way his jaw tightens, the way his thumb twitches against your back like he's physically holding something in.
"Effective how?" you venture, keeping your voice light.
Curious but not pushy, make it his choice to share, not like you're digging.
His hand shifts on your hip. Not leaving, just adjusting. Getting more comfortable, maybe. Or bracing himself.
"I'd clear the approach," he says finally. "Long-range. Silent. By the time targets knew something was wrong, V was already inside, cleaning up. Zero survivors. Zero witnesses. Perfect operational efficiency."
Past tense.
Your chest tightens. You want to ask what happened, want to dig into the wound and see what made two of Kkangpaeâs best stop being a team.
But you know Jeon. Know that pushing too hard means heâll shut down completely.
So you aim as soft as you can.
âWhat happened?â
Jeonâs quiet again. You feel his chest expand against yours as he takes a deeper breath, scanning the pier one more time before his gaze drops to you.
For a second, you think heâs going to pull away and insist you move forward.
But his hand doesnât move.
âWe need to get to higher ground,â he says instead, nodding toward a stack of containers to the north. âI need line of sight. Need to map where Kaleidoâs four men are, plus any extras he didnât mention.â
Heâs avoiding the question.
But his handâs still on your hip.
And heâs looking at you like he wants to say more but doesnât know how.
His fingers then hesitate, and thereâs no missing itâthe moment where he realizes his handâs been resting there this whole time, anchoring you, keeping you close when tactically thereâs no reason for it anymore.
The hesitation stretches.
One second.
Two.
Then his hand drops.
Cool air rushes in where his palm used to be, and you resistâbarelyâthe urge to grab it and put it back.
âCome on,â he says, voice back to business. âStay low. Follow my lead.â
He moves forward, fluid and silent, and you follow. But youâre still thinking about his hand.
About the way it felt.
About the word he didnât say when he described working with V.
You try to match his rhythm anyways, the way he distributes his weight so his boots barely whisper against the concrete.
The shipping container looms aheadârusted red steel stacked two high, perfect cover from whateverâs waiting on the ship. Jeon reaches it first, dropping into a crouch so fluid it looks choreographed. His head tilts back toward you, and thenâ
His right hand opens in the air.
Palm up. Fingers spread. Waiting.
You blink. Once. Twice.
Oh.
Oh.
He wants you to use his hand as a step. To boost yourself up onto the container.
Your eyes flick upward, taking in the second container stacked on top, the way it creates a perfect concealed pocket where you can move without being spotted from the ship.
Your gaze drops back to his outstretched palm.
One hand.
Justâone hand.
Is he seriously planning to not only support but propel your entire body weight up there with just his right arm? Like youâre a fucking feather instead of a full-grown woman in tactical gear?
You press your lips together, biting back what is definitely not a smile because this is absolutely not the time to be thinking about how stupidly strong he is. How those forearms that youâve been trying very hard not to stare at arenât just for show.
But Jesus.
The manâs hand doesnât even waver. Just stays there, steady and sure, like boosting people several feet into the air is something he does on a weekday.
You take a breath. Deep and measured, the way Flower taught you before high-stakes ops.
Trust the plan.
Trust your partner.
Trust that Jeonâs physics-defying upper body strength wonât let you, you know, crash face-first into rusted steel.
You step forward, right foot lifting to settle into his palm. His fingers close around your boot, grip firm but careful, and you feel the coiled tension in his arm as he prepares toâ
âUp,â he whispers.
His arm extends in one smooth, powerful motion, and you reach out instinctively, hands slapping against the steel rim, but youâre moving too fast, momentum carrying you forward andâ
You wobble.
Shit. Shit.
Your balance tilts sideways, weight shifting wrong, and for a split second youâre certain youâre going to topple right off the edge and land in a very loud, very ungraceful heap.
But then his left hand catches your hip.
Warm. Steady. Anchoring you as he finishes the movement, pushing you up and over until you can get your elbows on solid steel and haul yourself the rest of the way.
You roll onto the containerâs surface, staying low like he showed you, heart hammering from the adrenaline rush. When you turn back to look down, heâs already moving.
Jeon jumps, plants both palms on the containerâs edge and pushes himself up.
And fuck, you should look away. Should focus on scanning for threats or checking sight lines or literally anything else that isnât the way his forearms flex as he lifts his entire body weight like itâs nothing.
But you donât look away.
Canât, really.
Because watching Jeon move is like watching engineering in action. Every muscle coordinated, every motion efficient, no wasted energy or unnecessary effort. His shoulders bunch as he pulls himself higher, biceps straining against the black thermal fabric, and then heâs swinging one leg over the edge with liquid grace.
He lands in a crouch beside you, settling against the container wall without even breathing hard.
Show off.
Not that youâre complaining.
âYou good?â he asks, voice pitched low.
âYeah.â
The word comes out steadier than you feel. Because you are goodâbetter than good, actually. Thereâs something about moving with him like this, matching his rhythm, trusting his strength, that makes every nerve ending feel sparked.
He nods once, already shifting into surveillance mode. His eyes sweep the pier below, noting shadows and movement, building that tactical map in his head.
You try to focus on the mission. Really, you do.
But youâre still thinking about his hands.
The way his right palm felt solid and sure beneath your boot. The way his left hand found your hip without looking, pure instinct guiding him to steady you when you needed it most.
The casual display of strength that probably didnât even register to him as anything special.
Focus.
Right. Focus on the job. On finding the four men Kaleido mentioned. On mapping exit routes and identifying threats.
Not on the man beside you whose presence feels increasingly magnetic with every passing minute.
You shift slightly, trying to find a comfortable position against the steel, and accidentally brush his shoulder with yours.
He doesnât move away.
Neither do you.
And maybeâmaybe thatâs a problem youâll worry about later.
When Yunjinâs safe.
When the missionâs complete.
When you can afford to think about the way Jeonâs body heat seeps through your thermal top and makes your skin tingle.
You breathe steady as he shifts beside you, body angling for a better view of the pier.
He peers over the containerâs edge, just enough to scan without exposing himself. Makes this soft humming noise, like heâs reviewing information in real time.
âI need a higher vantage point,â he murmurs, eyes tracking upward to the container stacked above you both.
Then he tilts his head toward you, beckoning with the slightest nod.
You scoot forward until youâre pressed against his side, close enough to follow his line of sight. The proximity sends heat crawling up your neck, but you ignore it. Mission first.
His arm extends, finger pointing toward the far right side of the pier. âSee that first container?â
You nod.
âOne man there.â His neck stretches as he adjusts his angle, scanning further. âAnother one on the container after that. Theyâre both carrying HK416s 5.56, effective range about found hundred meters with those optics, though given the modifications Iâm seeingâŠâ He catches himself, throat clearing slightly. âRight. So, rifles.â
You bite back a smile. Only Jeon would start rattling off weapon specifications during a stealth operation and then remember heâs talking to someone who doesnât need the technical breakdown.
His gaze moves upward again.
âIâll be your eyes up there.â He points to the container above you both, then shifts back to scan the containers near the boats. âYou handle close range, Iâll cover distance.â
And just like that, you realize what heâs saying.
He trusts you.
Trusts you to handle yourself without supervision.
Trusts your training enough that he can focus on what he does bestâlong-range precisionâinstead of worrying about babysitting a rookie through close combat.
The weight of that trust hits you square in the chest, making something flutter behind your ribs. Not butterflies exactly. Something bigger. More significant.
He believes in you.
You nod, and his mouth curves into the faintest smile.
Then his expression shifts, brows drawing together as he studies the layout ahead. His lips press into a thin line.
âThe problem now is how to get you there.â
You follow his gaze, mapping the route.
Thereâs the container youâre on, then the massive one balanced on top of both yours and the adjacent container. The gap between them is wideâmaybe four feet of empty air with concrete waiting below.
You canât climb the bridging container. Being on top would leave you completely exposed, visible from the ship. And you canât scale it while pressed against the side because thereâs no foothold, nothing to grip except smooth steel.
But there might be another way.
You reach down, fingers finding the knife strapped to your ankle. The blade slides free with barely a whisper of steel on leather.
âThink I got an idea,â you whisper.
Jeonâs eyes drop to the knife, then flick back to your face. One eyebrow quirks up, curious but not doubtful.
His fingers suddenly catch your chin.
Thumb and index, firm but careful, turning your face toward his. The movementâs so quick you donât have time to process it before youâre looking directly into those stormy eyes.
âWhatââ
But his other handâs already moving. He reaches into the pocket of his tactical pants and pulls out two earpiecesâyours and his. Mustâve pocketed them both back at the gravel lot.
He holds yours up, eyebrow raised.
You tilt your head without thinking, offering your ear, and his fingers brush the shell as he fits the piece back in. Careful. Precise. Way more gentle than the situation calls for.
Your skin prickles.
He fits his own in with his free hand, taps it twice, then goes back to yoursâadjusting something, fingers working the tiny device with that little furrow between his brows.
âWhat are you doing?â you whisper.
âChiefâs override,â he murmurs back. âPrivate channel.â
Oh.
Just you and him. No V. No main frequency. No one listening.
He finishes whatever technical magic he just performed and his hand drops. But his eyes stay on yours, scanning your face like heâs checking something important.
âThat plan of yours is reckless, sunshine.â
Sunshine.
There it is. The nickname heâs been holding back all night, the one that only comes out when youâre alone and his guard drops just enough to let it slip through.
Bet heâs been wanting to call you that since you stepped foot in that palazzo.
His gaze drifts past you, tracking the route youâre thinking of taking without you having to explain a damn thing. Like your brain and his are running on the same frequency.
Container. Gap. Knife point. Swing. Left turn. First target. Straight line. Second target.
He sees it all in maybe three seconds.
âBut then again,â he continues, and something that might be amusement tugs at the corner of his mouth, âyour brand of recklessness tends to be refreshing.â
His head tilts slightly, one eyebrow quirking up. That little silver barbell catches the moonlight, and combined with the barely-there smirk playing across his lips, he looks almost⊠fond.
Fond.
Of your recklessness.
You canât help but smile back. âIâve got you, chief.â
The words come out easier than they should. Confident. Trusting. Like thereâs no question in your mind that heâll be exactly where you need him to be, when you need him there.
His expression shifts. Something unreadable flickers across his features before settling into that familiar mask of professional calm.
But his eyes stay soft.
âYeah,â he says quietly. âYou do.â
You turn your attention back to the route, mind already working through the mechanics.
The distance between containers. The angle youâll need. The momentum required to clear the gap without making noise.
Itâs doable. Risky as hell, but doable.
Cross to the bridging container. Wait for cover noiseâship horns work perfectly, loud enough to mask any sound you might make. Embed the knife deep enough to support your weight. Use it as an anchor point to swing yourself across the gap with enough momentum to land silently on the adjacent container.
Then itâs just following the inverse L formation. Left turn, drop down to take out the first guard. Straight line to the second container, quick jump, neutralize the second target.
All while Jeon provides overwatch from his elevated position, ready to take out any sniper that might have you in their sights.
Simple. Clean. Effective.
The kind of plan that blends stealth and tactical precision in a way that shouldnât work but does.
Seduction Division at its finest.
A low horn echoes across the water. Deep, resonant, the kind of sound that carries for miles and drowns out everything else for those few precious seconds.
Perfect.
You grip the knife handle, testing the weight. The bladeâs perfectly balanced, sharp enough to bite deep into steel if you hit it right.
You wait for the next horn.
When it comes, you move.
The knife leaves your hand in a clean arc, spinning once before sinking into a corrugated seam with a solid thunkâwedged deep between the steel panels like a piton.
The hornâs still echoing when youâre already moving, hands reaching for the knife handle, body coiling to make the swing.
Got it.
The swing carries you across the gap with perfect momentum. Your boots hit the adjacent container with barely a whisper, knees bending to absorb the impact.
Nailed it.
You stay low, pressing against the steel as you catch your breath. The knifeâs still embedded in the bridging container behind youâyouâll have to retrieve it later. For now, you need cover.
You sprint across the containerâs surface, staying crouched until you reach the far edge. Drop behind it, back pressed to the metal wall. Your heart hammers against your ribs, but your breathing stays controlled.
Focus.
A quick peek around the corner shows nothing. Empty pier stretching ahead, shadows dancing between stacked containers. No movement. No glint of weapons or boots.
Good.
You move left, following the route you mapped out earlier. The inverse L formation thatâll take you to the first target, then straight across to the second.
Thereâs another container stacked on top of the one aheadâperfect cover for what youâre planning. You reach the end of your current position and stop, pressing your hand to your earpiece.
Jeonâs voice comes through immediately, low and steady.
âHold position, sunshine.â
Sunshine.
Even in the middle of a tactical operation, hearing that nickname makes something warm unfurl in your chest.
âHeâs on my right,â Jeon continues, âso your left. Take the right side of the container, stay pressed against it. Walk slowâno rushing. When you reach the corner, wait for my signal.â
You nod even though he canât see you. âCopy.â
âAnd rememberâheâs got height on you. Use that. Get under his line of sight, come up from below. Arms up when you make contact.â
You move right, keeping your back flush against the container wall, weight distributed to minimize sound.
Slow and steady.
Your fingers brush the spare knife at your hipâbackup plan if things go sideways. But youâre hoping it wonât come to that. Clean and quiet is the goal.
The containerâs corner approaches. You can hear something nowâfaint shuffling, the scrape of boots against concrete.
Heâs close.
Very close.
You press yourself tighter against the wall, hand finding your earpiece again.
Jeonâs voice is barely a whisper. âHeâs lighting a cigarette. Distracted. Youâve got maybe thirty seconds before he starts moving again.â
Perfect.
Cigarette means his hands are occupied. Means his attentionâs split between keeping watch and getting his nicotine fix.
âOn my mark,â Jeon continues. âThree⊠twoâŠâ
You coil your muscles, ready to spring.
âOne. Go.â
You round the corner fast but controlled, staying low like he taught you.
And there he isâtall guy with a rifle slung over his shoulder, lighter held up to his face. The orange glow illuminates his features for just a second.
Now.
You surge upward, arms coming up exactly like Jeon said. Your forearm catches the guyâs throat, cutting off any sound he might make. Your other hand goes for his weapon, yanking it away before he can react.
Heâs bigger than you, stronger, but surprise is on your side. He stumbles backward, hands clawing at your arm, but youâre already shifting your weight, using his momentum against him.
Basic Seduction Division training. Get close, get control, get it over with.
The rifle clatters to the ground as you adjust your grip, cutting off his air supply completely. His struggles get weaker, more desperate, but you hold on.
Sorry, dude. Wrong place, wrong time.
He goes limp after what feels like forever but was probably only twenty seconds. You lower him carefully, making sure he doesnât hit the ground too hard.
One down.
âTarget neutralized,â you whisper into your earpiece.
âClean work.â Thereâs something that might be pride in Jeonâs voice. âSecond targetâs moving. Straight ahead, next container over. Same approachâheâs scanning left, so come from his right side.â
Youâre already moving, adrenaline singing through your veins.
This is what you trained for. What youâre good at.
And knowing Jeonâs watching, that he trusts you enough to let you handle this alone?
That makes you feel unstoppable.
You move right along the container wall. The steel feels solid against your back as you inch forward, listening for any sound that might give away the second guardâs position.
Your breathing stays controlled despite the adrenaline singing through your veins.
The corner approaches. You can hear him now, footsteps pacing back and forth. Restless energy. Goodâmeans heâs not fully focused.
You coil your muscles, ready to spring around the corner and catch him off guard like the first guy.
But then you hear it.
Beep. Beep.
Some kind of notification. Radio chatter, maybe. Or a phone.
Shit.
You round the corner anyway, hoping to catch him while heâs distracted, but his head snaps up the second you move into his line of sight.
Fuck.
His eyes go wideâsurprise, then immediate calculation. Heâs bigger than the first guy, broader shoulders, and his handâs already moving toward the rifle strapped across his chest.
You launch yourself at him anyway.
Your forearm catches him in the throat, but he jerks backward just enough that the hit doesnât land clean. He staggers but doesnât go down, and his hand closes around your wrist with crushing force.
Strong. Really fucking strong.
He twists your arm, trying to throw you off balance, but you go with it instead of fighting it.
Your legs come up, thighs clamping around his neck in a move Flower drilled into you until you could do it in your sleep. Perfect positioningâif you can just get the pressure right, cut off his blood flow, heâll be unconscious in seconds.
But he doesnât panic like most people do when they suddenly canât breathe.
Instead, his fists start slamming into your thighs.
Ow. Fuck. OW.
Each hit sends spikes of pain up your legs, but you squeeze harder, trying to finish this before he can break free. The angleâs good, youâve got leverage, just need toâ
His hands find your ankles and he yanks.
You lose your grip around his neck and suddenly youâre airborne, the world spinning as he swings you around and releases you like youâre a fucking rag doll.
You hit the container floor hard, pain exploding through your shoulder and hip. Stars dance across your vision, but training kicks in before panic can.
Move. Get up. Fight back.
You roll onto your back just as he lunges toward you, probably planning to pin you down and finish this with his hands around your throat.
But youâre already lifting your leg, boot aimed straight at his descending faceâ
CRACK.
The sound echoes across the pier like thunder. The guardâs head snaps backward in a spray of red, his body crumpling to the side before he can complete his lunge.
Headshot. Clean. Instant.
Jeon.
âThat gave away my position,â his voice comes through your earpiece, calm as if he just hadnât turned someoneâs skull into abstract art. âListen carefully, sunshine. Point to your left.â
You push yourself up to sitting, wiping blood from where your lip split when you hit the container. Your thighs throb from where the guardâs fists connected, but nothing feels broken.
âMy left?â you ask, getting your bearings.
âYour left. See that crane about two hundred meters out?â
You scan the pier until you spot itâmassive industrial crane silhouetted against the pre-dawn sky, all steel beams and cables.
âYeah.â
âThereâs a sniper nest on the platform. Third level up, northwest corner. Heâs got eyes on us now.â
Your stomach drops. âHow do you know?â
âBecause I would.â Matter-of-fact, like itâs the most obvious thing in the world. âHe heard my shot, knows thereâs a counter-sniper in play. Heâs acquiring me now, setting sights on my last position. Youâve got maybe thirty seconds before he realizes Iâm moving and decides to focus on you instead.â
âComforting.â
âGrab the rifle. The one that just dropped.â
You look around, spotting the weapon that fell when the now-headless guard went down. Itâs splattered with blood and bits of brain matter, but at this point youâre past being squeamish.
âGot it.â
âGood. Nowâyouâre going to take the shot.â
You nearly drop the rifle. âWhat?â
âYou heard me. I need you to neutralize the sniper while I relocate. Heâs focused on my last position, doesnât expect you to be armed with anything more than a handgun. Wonât see it coming.â
âJeon, Iâm notâI donât have sniper trainingââ
âYou have training. Different training, but the fundamentals apply. Breathe, sunshine. Trust me.â
His voice is steady, confident. Like thereâs no question in his mind that you can do this.
Okay. Okay.
You grip the rifle properly, checking that the safetyâs off. Itâs heavier than you expected, built for stopping power at distance.
âSight picture first,â Jeon continues, voice patient and sure. âLook through the scope, find the crane platform.â
You bring the rifle up, awkward at first until you find a comfortable position. The scopeâs magnification makes everything swim into sharp detail.
âI see it.â
âNorthwest corner. Look for movement, reflected light, anything that doesnât belong.â
You scan the platform methodically, the way Flower taught you to observe targets during intelligence gathering.
Thereâa glint of metal catching the pre-dawn light.
Definitely artificial. Definitely a weapon.
âGot something. Metallic reflection, northwest side like you said.â
âPerfect. Now listen carefullyâyou need to adjust for distance and elevation. See that shipping container directly below the crane?â
âYeah.â
âThatâs your reference point. Targetâs approximately three meters above that container, maybe fifteen meters back from the platform edge. You need to account for windage tooâthereâs a crosswind coming off the water. Adjust two meters to the right.â
Two meters right, three meters up.
You move the crosshairs, trying to apply everything heâs telling you while your heart hammers against your ribs.
âWhen I say fire, squeeze the trigger smooth and steady. Donât jerk it, donât second-guess. Just like target practice, except this target shoots back.â
âJeon, what if I miss?â
âYou wonât.â No hesitation in his voice. Zero doubt. âYouâre steady under pressure, sunshine. Iâve seen it. This is just another target.â
Just another target.
Sure. A target that could kill both of you if you fuck this up.
âOn my mark,â he continues. âTake a deep breath, let half of it out, hold the rest. Find your natural respiratory pause and squeeze through it.â
You do exactly what he says.
Deep breath in. Half out. Hold.
The crosshairs settle on where you think the sniper should be, accounting for all the adjustments Jeon gave you.
âThreeâŠâ His voice is calm, steady. âTwoâŠâ
Donât think. Just shoot.
âOne. Fire.â
You squeeze.
The rifle kicks against your shoulder, and through the scope you watch the sniperâs body jerk backward before crumpling behind the crane platform.
Got him.
A satisfied hum crackles through your earpiece, low and pleased.
âThatâs my girl.â
Something hot and violent flutters in your stomach at the words before you can stop it. You squash that feeling down hard, focus on the mission, but jesusâthe way he said it.
Like heâs proud of you.
âMoving to your position now,â Jeonâs voice continues, all business again. âStay put until Iââ
âNegative.â Youâre already shifting, scanning the pier below. âIâm dropping down. We need to get to that ship.â
âSunshine, waitââ
But youâre already moving, slinging the rifle over your shoulder and dropping to the edge of the container.
The jump down to ground level isnât badâmaybe six feetâand you land in a crouch, absorbing the impact through your legs.
Sea level now. The smell of salt water and diesel fuel hits you immediately, stronger down here where the waves slap against the pier supports.
You straighten up, checking your surroundings.
Empty shipping containers stretch in both directions, creating a maze of steel and shadow. The shipâs probably fifty meters ahead, past the next row ofâ
An arm snakes around your throat from behind.
Fuck.
Pure instinct kicks in. You bite down hard on the bicep pressed against your neck, tasting blood and sweat and something chemicalâantiseptic, maybe. Medical supplies.
The arm jerks away with a sharp curse, and you spin around to faceâ
Fervio.
How the fuck is he still standing?
The last time you saw this asshole, V was turning him into modern art.
He should be unconscious. Should be dead.
But here he is, very much alive and apparently ready for round two.
Blood seeps through his jacket where Vâs knives found their mark. His face is a mess of cuts and bruises, one eye swollen nearly shut. But his remaining eye burns with something that makes your skin crawl.
Hunger.
âHello again, little dove,â he says, voice rough like gravel.
He lunges forward, faster than someone that injured should be able to move. You dodge left, but his hand catches your shoulder, spinning you around.
The rifle slides off your back and clatters across the concrete.
Shit.
You go for the knife at your hip, but Fervioâs already there, his hand closing over yours with crushing force.
âHow the fuck are you still standing?â you grunt, trying to wrench free.
He laughs, and the sound makes your stomach turn. âYou donât know what adrenaline injections can do, do you? Black market pharmaceuticals are fascinating these days.â
Great. A psycho hopped up on experimental stimulants.
His grip tightens until you feel bones grinding together. You twist your body, use the momentum to drive your knee toward his ribs, but he shifts at the last second.
Your knee hits solid muscle instead of wounded flesh.
He uses your off-balance moment to grab the rifle and heave it across the pier. It skitters under a shipping container, completely out of reach.
âNo, no,â he tsks, still holding your wrist. âThat would be too quick. Too easy.â
Sadistic fuck.
He pulls a knife from somewhereânot the curved one from before, this oneâs smaller, sharper. Built for precision cuts, not killing blows.
Torture.
You wrench your arm free and stumble backward, putting distance between you and that blade. Your hand finds the backup knife, fingers closing around the handle.
âCome now,â Fervio says, advancing slowly. âI promise to make this educational.â
The way he says it makes your skin crawl. Like heâs planning to take his time. Like heâs got all night to work.
Fuck that.
You feint left, then dart right, trying to get behind him. But heâs ready for it, pivoting to match your movement.
The knife flashes toward your ribs. You block with your forearm, feel the blade slice through fabric and skin, but itâs not deep.
Keep moving.
You circle each other, looking for openings. Heâs bigger, stronger, probably more experienced with close combat.
But youâre faster. And youâre pissed.
You dart in low, aiming for his wounded side where Vâs knife work left him vulnerable. Your blade finds flesh, slides between ribs.
Fervio grunts but doesnât go down. Just grins wider, like pain is exactly what he was hoping for.
Psycho.
His knife arcs toward your face. You duck, feel steel whistle past your ear, and drive your elbow up into his chin.
His head snaps back, but he recovers faster than he should. Grabs your wrist and twists until your knife drops.
Then his blade is moving again, too fast to track, and suddenly thereâs fire in your thigh.
You look down and see steel buried deep in muscle, blood already soaking through your pants.
Motherfucker.
Pain explodes through your thigh, white-hot and immediate.
You screamâcanât help itâas steel bites deep into muscle. But the sound cuts off when Fervioâs hand clamps over your mouth, muffling everything into a pathetic whimper.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
Blood seeps around the blade, warm and sticky, soaking through your tactical pants. The knifeâs still embedded, and every movement, as tiny as it is, sends fresh waves of agony radiating up your leg.
âShh, shh,â Fervio whispers against your ear, voice sickeningly gentle. âSave your energy, little dove. Weâre just getting started.â
You try to elbow him in the ribs, aim for one of Vâs wounds, but he anticipates it. Shifts his weight and suddenly youâre spinning, your back slamming against his chest.
No no noâ
His arm snakes around your ribs, pinning your arms to your sides. The other hand moves to your throat, fingers pressing just hard enough to remind you how easily he could crush your windpipe.
Youâre trapped. Completely fucking trapped.
âMuch better,â he purrs, and you can feel his smile against your temple. âNow we can have a proper conversation.â
He tilts his head toward the maze of shipping containers, voice rising to carry across the pier.
âJeon!â he calls out, theatrical and mocking. âCome out and play with the grownups!â
Silence. Just the slap of waves against pylons and the distant hum of ship engines.
Your eyes scan the shadows frantically, looking for any sign of movement. Any hint that Jeonâs positioning himself for a shot.
Come on. Where is he?
Fervio waits maybe ten seconds before clearing his throat, the sound vibrating through his chest against your back.
âNo? Nothing?â He chuckles, low and pleased. âHow disappointing.â
Then his hand moves to the knife buried in your thigh.
âNo, donâtââ
But heâs already gripping the handle, and when he yanks it free, the scream that rips from your throat echoes across the entire pier.
Jesus fucking Christâ
Blood gushes from the wound, soaking your leg, dripping onto the concrete in steady plink plink plink sounds that make your stomach lurch. The pain is incredibleâlike someoneâs driving a hot poker through your muscle with every heartbeat.
âJeon!â Fervio calls again, voice bright with satisfaction. âCome out now, or the next thing thatâll gush blood apart from her thigh is her throat. Hands visible and up.â
Please. Please just shoot this motherfucker.
But even as you think it, you know Jeon canât take the shot.
Not with Fervio using you as a human shield.
Not when one wrong move means your blood painting the pier.
Movement in your peripheral vision. A shadow detaching itself from behind a shipping container.
Jeon.
He emerges with his hands raised, jaw clenched so tight you can see the muscle jumping in his cheek. His eyes find yours immediately, and what you see there makes your chest tight.
Fury.
Pure, cold, calculating rage barely held in check.
âThere he is,â Fervio purrs against your ear, sounding delighted. âThe famous sniper. The ghost of Seoul. The man who never misses.â
Jeonâs gaze flicks to the knife in Fervioâs hand, then to the blood pooling beneath your feet. His nostrils flare.
âLet her go,â he says, voice flat and deadly calm. âYour issueâs with me.â
âOh, but sheâs so much more fun,â Fervio replies, pressing the blade against your throat. Not cuttingânot yetâbut the threatâs crystal clear. âThe gun. Drop it.â
Jeon doesnât move. Doesnât even blink.
The knife presses harder. You feel the sharp edge bite into skin, feel blood start to trickle down your neck in warm rivulets.
Shit. Heâs actually cuttingâ
âDo it slowly,â Fervio continues when Jeon hesitates, dragging the blade sideways just enough to open a shallow cut. âAny sudden movements and⊠well. You understand.â
Jesus Christ that hurts.
You bite back a whimper, focusing on staying perfectly still. Any movement could drive that blade deeper, turn a shallow cut into something permanent.
Jeonâs eyes meet yours for just a second. You see the calculation thereâthe tactical assessment running through his head at light speed.
But also something else.
Panic.
He crouches slowly, placing his gun on the concrete carefully.
âKick it away.â
Jeon complies, sending the weapon skittering across the pier until it disappears under a shipping container with a metallic clang.
âGood boy,â Fervio grins, and you can hear the satisfaction dripping from his voice. âNow. Whereâs your psychotic little boyfriend? V didnât come to our reunion party?â
âHeâs busy,â Jeon says, voice still that deadly flat. âKeeping your boyfriend Kaleido company.â
Fervio laughsâactually laughsâlike this is the funniest thing heâs heard all night.
âAw, but I was so looking forward to seeing him again. I wanted him to watch when I take one of his precious dolls.â His grip on your throat tightens slightly, fingers digging into your pulse points. âJust like he did to me in Venice. You remember that, donât you, Jeon? Or were you too busy playing hero from your little perch?â
Venice.
Something passes between themâsome shared history youâre not privy to. But the way Jeonâs face goes completely blank, like a mask slamming down, tells you itâs not good.
âThat was different,â Jeon says quietly. Too quietly.
âWas it?â Fervioâs voice turns mocking, theatrical. âSeemed pretty similar to me. V taking something I cared about. Making me watch while heââ
âShe was a target,â Jeon cuts him off, words sharp as glass. âA legitimate military target.â
âShe was mine.â
Fervioâs voice goes ice cold, all pretense of amusement dropping away like a discarded mask. The blade presses harder against your throatâyou feel more blood start to flow.
âAnd he made sure I knew exactly what he was doing when he slit her throat. Made it slow. Made it artistic. Made me watch every. Single. Second.â
Oh.
The pictureâs starting to come together now.
Some girl in Venice, years ago. Someone Fervio cared aboutâloved, maybe? if heâs capable of love on the first place. Someone V killed while Fervio watched.
And now he wants payback.
Fantastic.
âSo here we are,â Fervio continues, voice returning to that sick tone. âFull circle. Except this time, Iâm the one holding the blade.â
The knife moves against your throatânot cutting deeper, but promising. A preview of whatâs coming.
âAnd when I get back to that sweet little princess on my ship, Iâm going to take my time. Hours and hours. Sheâs going to learn every technique Iâve perfected over the years. Every way the human body can experience exquisite agony before it finally shatters.â
Your blood turns to ice. Because heâs not just talking about cutting or stabbing.
Heâs talking about torture. Real, prolonged, sadistic torture.
âIâm going to make her scream until her voice gives out. Then Iâll wait for it to come back, just so I can make her scream again. And when Iâm finally done playing, when thereâs nothing left of that pretty little mind except fear and painâŠâ
He leans closer, breath hot against your ear.
ââŠIâm gonna send whatâs left of her back to V in a pretty pink bow.â
The image heâs painting makes your stomach turn to acid.
Yunjinâsweet, bubbly Yunjin who makes cotton candy seem sophisticatedâin the hands of this s̶a̶d̶i̶s̶t̶i̶c̶ monster.
No. No no no.
âBut enough about future plans,â Fervio continues, voice shifting back to that mock-reasonable tone. âLetâs discuss present arrangements. Iâm willing to make a deal.â
Jeonâs eyes narrow. âWhat kind of deal?â
âSimple. I leave with my little pink princess, and in exchangeâŠâ The knife presses just a fraction deeper against your throat. âI give you my word that this beauty here wonât be hunted down by my team. Clean slate. Fresh start.â
You feel Jeonâs entire body go rigid at the suggestion. Even from here, you can see his hands clenching into fists.
âYour word?â Jeonâs voice is flat, dangerous. âYou think Iâdââ
âAh ah ah.â Fervio cuts him off with a tsk. âWe both know words hold no value in our line of work. Which is why Iâm prepared to make this⊠official.â
He shifts slightly behind you, and you hear the soft clink of metal against metal.
What the fuckâ
âPersonal binding coins,â Fervio explains, like heâs discussing dinner plans instead of human trafficking. âYou know how it works. I give mine, you give yours. Physical proof of the contract. Break it, and both our organizations know exactly who canât be trusted.â
Oh shit.
Personal binding coins are serious business in the underworld.
Not like the neutral coins used for transactionsâthese are about honor, about binding agreements between high-ranking operatives. When someone gives you their personal coin, itâs their word made tangible. Break that agreement, and your reputation is d̶e̶s̶t̶r̶o̶y̶e̶d̶ gone.
And Fervio knows Jeon has one. All Council of 9 members do.
You watch Jeonâs face go through a series of micro-expressionsâcalculation, fury, disgust. His jaw works silently, like heâs biting back words that would probably get you killed.
âYou sick fuck,â he finally says, voice low and deadly. âI donât bargain withââ
HOOOOOONK.
The shipâs horn blares across the pier, deep and resonant and perfectly timed to mask the sound ofâ
CRACK.
Jeon staggers forward, red blooming across his shoulder like a flower. His eyes go wideânot with pain, but with pure shock.
He got shot.
Someone fucking shot him.
Everything slows down.
You watch the impact ripple through his body, see his knees buckle slightly as his brain processes what just happened. Blood seeps through the black thermal fabric, spreading outward in a pattern that looks almost artistic if you ignore the fact that itâs Jeonâs blood.
The man who never gets caught off guard.
Who always has a plan.
Who sees everything coming from a mile away.
Just got shot in the fucking back.
Fervio doesnât waste the opportunity.
His arms release you suddenly, and then youâre flying through the air, thrown like a rag doll straight at Jeonâs chest.
You collide hardâribs against ribs, shoulder against wounded shoulder. Jeon grunts in pain but catches you anyway, his good arm wrapping around your waist to keep you both upright.
âMove!â
His voice cuts through the chaos, sharp and commanding despite the blood loss. His hand clamps around your wrist like a vice, and suddenly youâre being dragged, stumbling, behind the nearest shipping container.
You hear Fervioâs laughter echoing across the pier, already fading as he makes his escape.
âYunjin!â you scream, trying to wrench free from Jeonâs grip. âTheyâre leaving! Theyâre fucking leaving withââ
âSit the fuck down.â His voice is ice cold, furious, as he forces you down behind the container wall.
His good hand presses against your shoulder, pinning you in place.
âYouâre bleeding, Iâm bleeding, and we are unarmed,â he continues through gritted teeth, breathing hard. âSit. Down.â
His head tilts back against the steel, face pale but eyes still sharp.
Blood seeps steadily from the wound where the bullet tore through muscle and sinew, staining his thermal top crimson.
But heâs not letting go of your wrist.
Canât. Canât just sit here.
âLet me go.â Your voice cracks on the words, panic making everything feel razor-sharp. âLet me fucking go!â
You try to push yourself up, try to get to your feet, but Jeonâs hand clamps down on your wrist.
âThey got Yunjinââ
âDo you think I donât fucking know that?â The words explode out of him, voice cracking like a whip.
His eyes snap open, and jesusâyouâve never seen him look like this.
Wound tight enough to snap, fury and something that looks like despair warring across his features.
âThen why are we still here?â Your voice rises to match his. âWe need toâ!â
âWe need to what?â He turns toward you, and thereâs blood smeared across his mouth where he bit his tongue. âRun onto that ship unarmed? Let them cut us both down?â
âWe canât just sit here!â
âYes, we fucking can!â
âSheâs my best friend!â The words tear out of your throat, and you donât care that youâre screaming, donât care that your voice is cracking. âSheâs myââ
âYou think I donât want to go after her?â His voice drops to something quieter but no less vicious. âYou think I donât want to tear that ship apart board by board until I find her?â
His breathingâs gone harsh and uneven, like heâs fighting for air.
âThen whyââ
âBecause I fucking considered it!â
The words explode between you like a grenade, sharp and devastating.
What.
Your mouth falls open.
You stare at him, at the self-loathing written across every line of his face.
âFor a fucking second,â he continues, voice breaking on every word, âI considered it. Considered trading your fucking life for Yunjinâs.â
The silence that follows is deafening.
Your tongue feels completely, utterly, absolutely useless inside your mouth.
âWhen he offered that dealâwhen he wanted to trade my coin for hisââ Jeonâs head falls back against the container with a dull thunk. âFor one second, I thought about it. Weighed the options. One life versus another.â
You canât breathe. Canât think past the rushing in your ears.
âAnd that makes me no better than him,â he whispers, staring up at the gray pre-dawn sky. âNo better than the piece of shit who just walked away with her.â
Jesus christ.
He actually considered it. Actually stood there and considered your life was worth more than Yunjinâs.
Part of you wants to hit him. Wants to scream until your voice gives out.
But a bigger partâthe part that knows him, knows how his brain worksâunderstands exactly why that thought would destroy him.
Because Jeon doesnât make emotional decisions.
He weighs variables and chooses the most tactically sound option, and the fact that he even considered sacrificing Yunjin meansâ
Means you matter to him.
More than just professionally. More than just as a team member or a responsibility.
âJeon,â you start, but he cuts you off.
âDonât.â His voice is flat again, empty. âJustâdonât.â
The sound of the engines gets lost in the distance.
Yunjin is gone. The microchip isnât secured. The mission has been a catastrophic disaster.
And youâre both sitting here bleeding onto concrete, having the worst possible revelation at the worst possible time.
if you've enjoyed this chapter please consider buying me a coffee!! âïž âĄÂŽâïœâĄ
pairing: jungkook x f!reader | rating: 18+ | wc: 8.4k | warnings: here
genre: e2l, fwb, gang au, angst with smut, slow burn, forbidden love
â circles â
âYou go looking for Yunjin and find three corpses, one very smug psychopath, and the increasingly terrifying realization that in Kkangpae, love and murder might just be dialects of the same language.â
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âȘïž author's note: I will just say this now because I already know what is about to happen, and I would rather get ahead of the agenda than pretend otherwise: I am fully prepared for the shower of âI can fix himâs in 3⊠2⊠1⊠Leave them here. I see you, Nita. Do not think I do not see you (ÂŹâżÂŹ)
But also⊠no judgment from me, unfortunately. I get it. I understand. Fictional murderers are, for some deeply concerning reason, hot. A tragedy for feminism, perhaps, but a win for the plot. So no, I will not be forbidding anyone from thirsting over my man V. Even if he is, objectively speaking, not well in the head. Then again⊠are any of my characters? Be serious.
Also yes, V very much has the highlight of this chapter, and that is on purpose. There are multiple little hints sprinkled in here about how he views the world, people, attachment, possession, relationships, and why he is not just some random contingency risk or ticking time bomb for Kkangpae. That man is deeply intentional, which I personally think is sooo much worse. As always, the demons are demon-ing, but they are doing it with structure and thematic relevance, thank you very much.
And because apparently I enjoy enabling myself, I am also writing a Yunjin x Taehyung smutty one-shot that should be seeing the light of day on my Tumblr sometime soon, so⊠keep your eyes open for that too (ÂŽêł`) I know. I know. I am sick in the head and unemployed in spirit.
Anyway. Good luck with this chapter. Thoughts and prayers to all of us, especially the ones about to come out of here giggling and twirling their hair over a man who just made several extremely questionable life choices.
Enjoy <3
"Jungkook," you gasp, his name a d̶e̶s̶p̶e̶r̶a̶t̶e̶ plea on your lips.
You don't even know what you're asking for. More? Less? To stop? To keep going until the stall collapses around you?
He doesn't answer. Just bites his lip again, eyes still locked on yours, and thrusts harder.
"Say it," he commands. "Say you're fucking pretty."
You open your mouth to say itâto give him what he wants, to say the word that's been stuck in your throat since the moment he demanded it.
But before you can, the heavy sound of the bathroom door creaking open freezes you in place.
Jeon goes rigid. Completely, utterly still for a second.
Then, quick as a switchblade, he buries himself to the hilt, so deep you swear you can feel him in your goddamn lungs. His hand comes up to your mouth, covering it firmly, cutting off the sharp gasp that nearly escapes. The pressure is just enough to keep you quiet without hurting, but the message is clear: Don't. Make. A. Sound. n̶o̶t̶ e̶a̶s̶y̶
His eyes meet yours, dark and sharp, and you can see the tension rippling through him. He looks focused, his shoulders squared and jaw tight, listening intently to the voices filtering into the space.
"âweird, wasn't it?" Kaleido's voice echoes off the marble walls, smooth and calm. "Seeing the woman with the brother?"
Your entire body stiffens, and Jeon's grip on your mouth tightens, his fingers pressing harder against your skin. His hips stay locked against yours, unmoving, but you can feel the way his muscles coil.
"She seemed content to share," Fervio replies casually, tone laced with sleazy amusement. "The husband was the territorial one. Maybe she's the free spirit, and he's just latched onto her."
Kaleido hums thoughtfully, the sound deep. "That's a good point. If needed, we could leverage that. Might be useful."
Your heart is pounding so loud you're convinced they'll hear it, but Jeon doesn't falter.
Until he moves.
Slow. So fucking slow, like he's deliberately testing your restraint. His hips pull back an inch, just enough to make you feel the unbearable drag of him leaving you empty, before he pushes forward again. Deep. Controlled. Devastating.
Your body betrays you instantly, clenching around him like it's trying to keep him there, and his reaction is immediate. His hand tightens on your mouth, his breath hitching through gritted teeth. He leans down, biting into your shoulder as if the pressure will somehow silence the groan threatening to escape him.
"Keep quiet, sunshine," he murmurs into your skin.
His hand flexes against your face, thumb brushing the corner of your mouth like a warning.
"Be good for me."
The words send heat cascading through you, pooling low in your stomach.
You hate how your body responds to him. Hate how a simple command in that voice makes you so fucking h̶o̶r̶n̶y̶ willing.
But when you clench around him againâentirely involuntarily, mind youâit nearly undoes him. You feel his teeth sink harder into your skin, the pressure bruising, and his hips stutter just slightly before he regains control.
"Do that again," he growls, pulling back just enough to look at you, his eyes blazing, "and I swear to god, everyone will know what we're doing in the men's bathroom."
It's a dare. A warning. Both.
And you're half tempted to test him.
His next thrust empties your head completely.
It's slowâgod, it's so slowâbut the depth of it makes your breath catch somewhere in your throat and refuse to come out. The stall creaks, barely.
Kaleido and Fervio's voices drift through the bathroom like they're underwater. Kaleido says something sharp, Fervio's laugh scrapes low and oily in response, but none of it reaches you. Not really. Not when Jeon is doing thisâmoving like every thrust is deliberate, like he's got all the time in the world to take you apart piece by piece.
And he does.
The way his hips roll infinitesimally, but burying himself impossibly deeper, carving space inside you that feels like it was always meant for him. Like he's trying to leave an imprint. Something permanent. Something you won't be able to shake even after this is over.
You're already so close it hurts.
His palm stays firm over your mouth, silencing the sounds that want to spill out every time he bottoms out. His other hand has traveled to your thigh, grip now hard enough to bruise, fingers digging into your skin like he's holding onto you for dear life. Like letting go isn't an option.
Then his thumb moves, finds your clit easily, dragging slow circles that match the rhythm of his hips.
Not fast. Not frantic.
Just this steady, torturous pressure that makes your whole body tremble.
You feel his teeth graze your shoulder again, his breath hot and ragged against your neck. His chest presses flush against yours, slick with sweat and heat, and you can feel the restraint radiating off him.
The way he's barely holding it together.
The way he's trying so hard to stay controlled, even as your body clenches around him like it's trying to pull him under.
"Good girl," he whispers, voice low and frayed at the edges.
That's it.
That's all it takes.
The words hit you like a d̶e̶t̶o̶n̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ key turning in a lock, and everything inside you breaks.
Your orgasm doesn't crash over youâit unfurls. Slow and heavy and all-consuming, like a wave pulling you down into depths you didn't know existed. It rolls through you in shuddering pulses, each one deeper than the last, and you swear your vision whites out for a second.
Your thighs lock around his waist. Your nails dig into his shoulders. You can't breathe, can't think, can't do anything except feel as your walls clamp down hard around him.
He feels it. You know he does.
You can tell by the way his body goes rigid, every muscle locking up like he's been hit with a current. By the way his fingers flex on your mouth.
And then he follows.
His teeth sink into your shoulderâharder than before i̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶p̶o̶s̶s̶i̶b̶l̶e̶âand his hips stutter. Just once. Just enough to lose that iron control he's been clinging to.
You feel him pulse inside you, thick and hot through the condom, and his groan vibrates against your skin, muffled and desperate and so goddamn raw it makes your chest ache.
He doesn't speed up. Doesn't lose the rhythm. If anything, he slows down even more, like he's trying to wring every last drop of pleasure from this moment without giving you away.
It's the depth that does it. The way he's buried so deep you swear you can feel him in your throat. The way each roll of his hips pushes him impossibly further, grinding against places that make your vision spark and your breath catch.
Your body responds without permissionâsqueezing him again, and the sound he makes against your shoulder is almost pained.
"Fuck," he growls against your skin, muffled and rough. "You'reâfuckâyou're unfair, sunshine."
Honestly? If this is what he classifies as unfairness, he'd better get ready for a lawsuit.
You don't realize you're still holding onto him until you register the damp heat of his back beneath your forearms. It's instinct. Like clinging to him is the only thing keeping you upright.
Your legs feel like jelly, and you let your head drop back against the tile. The cool surface shocks your overheated skin, but it feels good.
You close your eyes and focus on slowing your heartbeat, on coming back down from wherever the hell you just went.
Not easy when Jeon's still buried so deep inside you it feels like he's part of your anatomy now.
Your fingers find the nape of his neck without thinking. They thread through his damp hair, nails dragging lightly over his scalp, and you feel the way his whole body shudders in response. His forehead stays pressed to the side of your neck, lips brushing your collarbone with every exhale.
He's quiet.
Too quiet.
And that's what tips you off.
Jeon is never quiet. Not like this. Not with you.
It's subtle at first. The way his body changes.
Stiffness creeping into his shoulders. His grip on your mouth falling.
His breathing doesn't slow like it should.
It stalls.
That's when you hear it.
"âpink hair, right?" Kaleido's voice slices through the bathroom like glass. Smooth. He sounds like he's smiling. "What's her name again? Rina? Rika?"
Your stomach drops.
"Riva," Fervio corrects, his tone dripping with that disgusting amusement that makes your skin crawl. "She's gorgeous. Like a doll. Eye candy like that doesn't walk into places like this without a reason."
Yunjin.
They're talking about Yunjin.ââââââââââââââââ
You can feel the blood drain from your face, leaving you cold and clammy despite the heat radiating off Jeon. A chill skitters down your spine, and your hand moves without thinking. You tap against Jeon's neckâonce, twiceâtrying to get his attention.Â
But when you glance down, you realize he doesn't need it.Â
He's already listening.Â
His head is tilted just slightly, his jaw set tight, and his eyesâfuck, his eyes. They're open now, glinting like molten steel beneath the fringe of his lashes. He's not looking at you, though. His gaze is fixed straight ahead, sharp and unyielding, like he's trying to burn holes through the stall door with sheer willpower.Â
And that's when you know.Â
He heard them before you did.Â
"She's the kind you keep an eye on," Fervio continues, his voice taking on a sickeningly casual lilt. "Could be useful, you know? Get her in the right situation, the right mood. Make her comfortable. Easy prey."Â
Your nails dig into the back of Jeon's neck without meaning to, and his reaction is instant. His hand rests on your thighâand just for a second, a fleeting pulse of pressure, enough to steady you.
To remind you that he's here, that he's got this.Â
Kaleido hums thoughtfully, the sound echoing off the marble like some kind of sinister lullaby. "Three of our boys are keeping tabs on her. Make sure she doesn't slip out of sight."Â
Fervio chuckles, low and guttural, and you swear your stomach twists into knots. "Smart. We can't afford to lose her, especially after Hanjun."Â
And just like that, the chill in your veins turns to fire.Â
You know what he's implyingâyou can hear it in his tone, in the way his words drip with sleazy satisfaction.
That bastard. That fucking bastard.Â
Your gaze darts back to Jeon, searching his face for any flicker of emotion, any sign of what's going through his head right now. But his expression is blankâa mask of control so perfect it's almost terrifying.Â
Almost.Â
Because you can see through him.
The way his jaw ticks. The way his nostrils flare. The way his fingers flex against your skin, like he's holding himself back from doing something he'll regret.Â
You've seen Jeon angry before. Hell, you've seen him downright murderous.
But this?
This is personal.Â
And honestly? That scares you more than anything they could've said.Â
He shifts first, one deliberate movement at a time, like he's cataloging every muscle, every joint, making sure nothing snaps the wrong way. His hands drift to your waist, steadying you, though you're not exactly sure who he's doing it forâyou or him. Maybe both of you.
And then, slowly, carefully, he eases you down onto the floor.
His hands never leave you, guiding you as if he's afraid you'll suddenly break. It's stupid, reallyâyou're not the fragile one here. Not by a long shot. But his touch stays soft, measured, and there's something about it that makes you hold your breath.
Gentle. He's always been gentle, hasn't he?
Even when he's in full business mode.
Even when he doesn't mean to be.
Your mind flickers back to that time you twisted your ankle during that improvised paintball game of V, back when you two barely spoke. Could barely tolerate each other. He didn't say many words back then, eitherâjust crouched down, his brows knitted in that perpetual storm-cloud scowl of his, and told you to get on his back. He carried you like it wasn't a big deal.
But his grip had been careful then, too. Like he didn't want to risk making it worse.
And now? Now is no different. He handles you just as softly.
The thought digs into your chest, uncomfortable in a way you can't quite name, so you shove it down and focus on the present.
On the way his hands linger just a second too long before pulling back.
On the slight downturn of his mouth, like he's thinking too hard about something he'll never say out loud.
He leans back slightly, adjusting his weight on his heels as he reaches for the tiny trash can bolted to the stall wall. The condom comes off in such a practiced, easy way, it almost makes you laugh. He ties it off, tosses it in the bin with a quiet flick of his wrist, and sits back on the toilet, finally meeting your gaze.
"You okay?"
His voice is low, quieter than usual, and it takes you a second to realize he's waiting for an answer.
You nod. "Yeah."
No point in saying more. He wouldn't believe you if you tried to downplay it, not with the way your legs are still shaking, but he doesn't push. Just gives you a small tilt of his head before his hand drifts to his pocket.
Your brows knit together as he pulls out his phone, the screen lighting up with a quick swipe of his thumb. He types something out, fingers moving fast.
You arch an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"
He doesn't look up, his focus locked on the screen. "Letting V handle it."
You blink.
Handle what, exactly?
And why does that answer make your stomach twist in five different directions?
You want to ask, to press, but the way his jaw tightens makes you pause. Because the weight to his words had left no argument.
Whatever it is, he's already decided.
Your eyes dart across the room, wild and frantic, moving too fast to really make sense of anything.
Faces blur together, itâs a mixture of masks, glittering jewels, and expensive fabric, but none of it matters.
None of it.
Not the champagne glasses clinking, not the murmured conversations, not the fucking string quartet playing Mozart in the corner.
Where is she? Where the fuck is she?
Yunjin. Yunjin. Yunjin.
Your pulse is hammering now, loud and erratic, each frantic beat slamming into your ribs like it's trying to break out.
You scan the crowd again, face after face, but none of them are hers.
And it's fine. It's fine.
You tell yourself it's fine, but your chest is so tight it feels like it might collapse in on itself.
God, where the fuck is she?
You tryâtryâto keep your expression neutral, to keep your desperation from bleeding through the cracks, but it's hard. Too fucking hard. Because this is bad. Really fucking bad.
And it's your fault.
Your stomach twists violently.
Fucking your fucking fuck buddyâyour husband, apparentlyâin the middle of a mission. What the hell is wrong with you? You knew this shit was risky. You knew it the second RM dragged you into that stupid briefing room and started handing out roles. You were supposed to watch each other, keep each other safe, make sure she didn'tâ
Your chest caves in.
You drag in a shaky breath, forcing yourself to stay upright, forcing yourself not to panic.
Panic won't help her. Panic won't get her back.
But fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
Your brain is spiraling, doubling back on itself in a loop of frantic guilt and dread, whenâoh.
There.
She's there.
Your breath whooshes out of you all at once, too fast, leaving you lightheaded but relieved. So goddamn relieved. You can feel the tension draining from your limbs, leaving them heavy and shaky, like you've just run a marathon uphill and lived to tell about it.
She's fine.
She's fine.
She's still standing by the fireplace, all five feet and some change of her wrapped up in that ridiculous pink tulle monstrosity.
She looks like a fucking cupcake, and you could kiss her for it.
Not literally, obviously. But still.
She's laughing at something. Some sleazeball in a black tux who's probably trying to chat her up. You can tell by the way her head tilts, the way her hand flutters to her throat in that delicate, practiced move she does when she's trying to look shy. It's her distraction routine. And god, it works.
She's fine.
She's fine.
She'sâ
A hand snakes around your waist, and you freeze, the sudden contact making your breath hitch.
Jeon.
His palm settles low, just above your hip, and it's so fucking stupid how good it feelsâhow grounding, how solid, how right. Like your body is wired to respond to him.
You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, and he's already looking past you, his gaze locked on Yunjin. His expression doesn't changeâit's still that same unreadable steelâbut you can feel the shift in him. The subtle tightening of his grip.
And then, just as quickly, he's scanning the rest of the room. His eyes sweep over the crowd like he's cataloging every face, every corner, every potential threat.
You don't have to ask what he's looking for.
You already know.
MDF.Â
His hand tightens on your waist, just for a second, just enough to make you feel it, before he leans in close.
"I'm going to scan the room," he murmurs, low and quiet, like he's trying not to draw attention.
You don't miss the way his gaze lingers on you, though. The way his eyes flicker, just barely, like he's trying to make a decision he hasn't fully committed to yet.
You know that look.
It's hesitation.
And it pisses you off.
"Jeon," you scoff, turning to face him. Your brow arches, your tone sharper than it probably needs to be. "I'm fine. Go."
He doesn't move. Not at first.
He just stares at you, his jaw tight, his brows drawn together in that way that's probably supposed to intimidate you but mostly just pisses you off more.
Like he's trying to decide if he believes you. If he trusts you.
And for a moment, you wonder if he's going to stay. If he's going to plant himself right there next to you like some overprotective bodyguard and refuse to leave, even if it means blowing the mission.
But then he nods.
Just once.
It's quick. Barely there.
And yet somehow, it feels heavier than it should.
The muffled sound of grunting filters through the gala, irregular amid the laughter and clinking glasses.
It's out of place, barely audible through the heavy oak doors leading to the palazzo's west courtyard, a good thirty meters from the main ballroom. You glance around the opulent spaceâno one else seems to notice, too absorbed in their champagne and shallow conversations.
Curiosity tugs at you, a low ripple of unease curling in your stomach.
You step closer to the terrace, weaving past the velvet curtains as the noise grows clearer with each passing second. The muffled thud of somethingâor someoneâhitting the ground. A low, wet groan.
You push the double doors open just enough to slip through, the cold night air hitting your skin like a slap. The courtyard stretches before you, moonlight spilling across ancient cobblestones bordered by immaculately trimmed hedges.
And then you see him.
V.
So that's where he was.
He's a visionâchaos and precisionâstanding amidst three writhing bodies like a composer orchestrating a bloody symphony.
His suit is immaculateâof course it isâbut his knuckles are smeared with blood, and there's a gruesome spatter across his cheek. Despite his somber expression, his movements are liquid, almost hypnotic, as he drives a boot into one man's chest with a thud that sends shockwaves down your own ribs.
"Come on," he says coldly, "I just want to talk."
You freeze, tucked in the shadows of the terrace's ornate archway, unsure whether to intervene or bolt.
One of the men groans, clutching his ribs as he sobs incoherently, begging under his breath. V
squats down gracefully, grabbing the man's chin with blood-slick fingers and forcing his face up.
"You were saying something earlier," V murmurs, voice velvet-smooth and unnervingly soft.
His knuckles are slick with crimson when he brings them to his side, tilting his head in mock curiosity.
"But now you're all quiet. Why is that?"
The man lets out a wheeze, his body curling instinctively to guard his ribs.
Gentlyâoh so gentlyâV pats the man's cheek, smearing blood across it like some dark mockery of affection.
"Come on now," he coos, his hand lingering just a beat too long, fingers pressing into the bruised, wrecked skin. "What was it you said about her? Hmm? Be a good boy. Use your words."
The man whimpers, mouth opening like he wants to say somethingâbut all that comes out are garbled, incoherent cries.
V tsks softly, like a disappointed teacher.
"No? Nothing?" V sighs, the sound loud and final amidst the greenery of the courtyard. "What a shame."
The next motion is so quick you almost miss it.
He draws a blade from somewhereâthin, sharp, glittering in the moonlightâand drives it straight into the man's throat.
The dying gargle that follows is brief, cut offâthe man twitches once before going still, blood seeping across the cobblestone like spilled wine.
V doesn't even spare him a second glance as he stands up. His attention has already shifted to the second one.
A man who is still conscious, though he's attempting to crawl backward, his heels scraping uselessly for purchase on the blood-slick stones.
V catches him by the hair with a casual, almost lazy motion, yanking his head up.
"Ah-ah. Don't go anywhere just yet."
The man is trembling, his face a grotesque mask of fear.
"P-please," he stammers, eyes darting anywhere but at V. "Iâ"
"Shh." V crouches down again, his face inches from the man's. The bloodied knife dangles loosely from his other hand, glinting ominously. "Will you tell me then? What you said?"
The man starts cryingâloud, pitiful sobs that echo. "I-I didn't mean it! Iâ"
"No, no. Be a big boy for me now, come on," V interrupts, his tone light, chiding. "You were so confident before. Something about her legs, wasn't it? Or was it her mouth? Remind me."
The man breaks, the words spilling from his lips in a desperate rush as he repeats the vile comments he and his friends had made earlier.
You don't catch all of it, and honestly, you don't want to.
V listens intently, his expression unchanging, like he's picking up every word. When the man finishes, his lips curve into something that might pass for a smile.
"Good boy," he says softly, almost fondly.
Then, without warning, he slams the man's head into the stones.
Once.
Twice.
The crack of bone is deafening, and by the time V stands, the man isn't moving anymore.
The point of his shoe then connects with his torso. You flinch, but V is relentless, kicking the man's ribs until the screams fade to wet, gurgling gasps.
By the time he steps back, the man's chest looks concave, his lifeless body sprawled awkwardly on the bloodied marble.
The third man does what any sane person would do.
He runs.
Or at least, he tries.
V's wrist snaps in a graceful arc, and the knife whistles through the air, embedding itself into the man's hand with a sickening thud. The force pins him against one of the terrace's ornate columns, his scream piercing the night air.
"You're an ambitious one, aren't you?" V murmurs, walking toward him with maddening calm.
The man whimpers, cradling his impaled hand as blood pools at the base of the column.
V stops just short of him, knife in hand again before you even realize he's pulled it free. He tilts his head, studying the man like he's deciding which part to cut first.
"I think I'll leave you as a messenger," he muses aloud. "Fervio does love a good story."
The man starts to stammer something, but V presses the blade against his jaw, silencing him in an instant.
"No, no," he chides softly. "You don't get to speak anymore."
V slices cleanly through the man's tongue, the bloody piece falling to the floor with a wet plop.
The man collapses to his knees, clutching his face and making choking, guttural noises.
"There. You'll have to write the message instead," V says, voice like cold silk. "Now listen to me very well, dear."
V elevates the knife on the air, analyzing the crimson liquid. He leans in slightly, leveling the man with a look that sends a chill down your spine.
"Tell your menâwrite it down, obviouslyâthat if any of them even glance at her again, I'll carve their eyeballs out with a fucking spoon." He smiles, and it's an ugly thing. "Though I'd advise against making spelling errors. You know how particular Fervio can be."
Then, casually, he brings the blade to his lips, running his tongue along its edge to taste the blood. He grimaces.Â
"Terrible diet," he says to no one in particular, his tone as conversational as if he were discussing wine pairings.
The quiet that follows is deafening.
You're still frozen, heart hammering, unsure if you're breathing.
He turns and immediately spots you in the shadows.
He offers a smile so disarmingly charming it makes your stomach flip for all the wrong reasons. His suit is slightly stained with blood now, but it somehow only adds to the fucking spectacle of him.
"Ah," he says, his voice smooth, unbothered, like he's not standing in a literal bloodbath. "You weren't supposed to see that."
His hazel eyes lock onto yours, sharp and glinting under the pale moonlight, and you swear he's amused. Like this is funny to him. Like you catching him in the middle of his art is some sort of inside joke.
Your stomach churns.
He tilts his head slightly, and thenâof courseâhe lifts the knife. The blade is still wet, slick with blood, and it shines in way that makes your throat tighten.
He turns it lazily in his hand, like he's showing it off. Like this is normal.
And then he smiles.
"Wanna taste?" he drawls, his tone light and teasing, as if he's offering you a sip of his wine instead of a goddamn murder weapon. "Not recommended, though. Tastes like wet McDonald's."
You blink, your brain stuttering to process what the actual fuck he just said.
Wet McDonald's? What does that evenâ?
No. You're not doing this. You're not playing his stupid game.
You tear your gaze away from the blade, focusing instead on... nothing. The ground. The sky. Literally anything else.
But it doesn't help. The image is already burned into your brain.
The blood, dark and glistening.
The bodies, crumpled and broken.
The way V had moved through them like he was painting a masterpiece.
You've seen violence before. Plenty of it. Enough to know that it doesn't faze you the way it used to.
But this? This is different.
You've heard the stories about him. Everyone has.
About how V doesn't just killâhe creates.
How he makes it messy. Personal. How he treats it like an art form, savoring every brushstroke like he's a fucking Picasso of murder.
And hearing about it is one thing. Horrifying, sure, but distant. Detached.
Seeing it? In real life? Up close?
You swallow hard, the bile rising in your throat.
Out of the corner of your eye, you catch him watching you.
He doesn't look guilty. Or ashamed. Or even particularly interested in the carnage around him.
No, he's completely unphased, like this is just another weeknight for him. Just another job.
He glances down at the knife still in his hand, then back at you, his lips twitching in the faintest hint of amusement. "No? Not hungry? Fair enough."
Before you can respondâbecause honestly, what the hell do you even say to thatâhe flips the knife in his hand, wiping the blade clean against the pristine white handkerchief he pulls from his pocket.
He just does it like it's part of his routine. Like wiping someone's blood off a knife is equivalent to brushing lint off a suit.
He tucks the knife away somewhere, then pulls his phone out of his jacket. For a second, you think he's ignoring youâjust texting someone like he didn't just massacre half the courtyardâbut then his eyes flick up to meet yours again.
"Ah," he says lightly, sliding the phone back into his jacket's inner pocket. "Don't worry, love. Cleanup crew has been notified."
The casualness of it makes your skin crawl. He gestures vaguely toward the bodies, like they're nothing more than a stain on someone's fancy carpet.
And maybe to him, they are.
"Now," he continues, stepping toward you, his voice dipping into something warmer, almost playful. "Let's get back to the party, shall we? You're a bit far from it."
Before you can even think to argue, he drapes an arm around your shoulders, guiding you back through the ornate double doors.
You pass through the dimly lit antechamber, your heels clicking against marble as V steers you away from the main hallway that would lead back to the gala.
Instead, he guides you left, down a narrower corridor lined with renaissance paintings and gilded mirrors.
You follow him because... well, what the hell else are you supposed to do?
You realize then why he's chosen this routeâof course, he cannot make it back to the main ballroom with dark red stains marring his otherwise impeccable suit. The service corridors, you suppose, must lead to somewhere he can clean up unnoticed.
V moves like he's gliding, not walking, and it's starting to really fuck with your head. His steps are so smooth, so unhurried, it's like he's taking a goddamn Sunday stroll instead of weaving through the labyrinthine passages of a centuries-old palazzo with blood drying on his suit.
It's impossible not to notice the way he moves. His shoulder brushes yours every now and thenânot enough to feel intrusive, just enough to remind you he's there. In control. Completely nonchalant, like he's not leaving a trail of very real corpses behind.
It's disorienting. Maddening, even.
Because, somehow, he knows exactly where he's going. Exactly when to turn.
He doesn't so much as hesitate, not when there are forks in the hallways or doors that all look the same.
It's like he's got the whole fucking layout of this place tattooed on the inside of his eyelids.
And the worst part? He's not even trying.
You're trudging along beside him, trying not to think about the fact that your shoes are probably going to need to be burned after this, when he suddenly stops. Justâstops. So quickly that you almost slam into his side.
"Wait two seconds," he says, as casually as if he's asking for a light.
You open your mouth to ask what the fuck he's talking about, but then you hear it.
Footsteps.
Two pairs of them, echoing faintly down the corridor ahead. Your breath catches, and you instinctively press yourself deeper into the shadowed corner where he's already ducked.
The footsteps grow louder. Closer. Two peopleâa man and a womanâwalk past, their voices low but animated, completely unaware of the murderous lunatic and his reluctant accomplice lurking ten feet away. They don't even glance in your direction.
Once they're gone, V straightens, brushing an invisible speck of dust off his sleeve.
"See?" he murmurs, already moving again. "Two seconds."
You blink, scrambling to catch up to him. "Okay, what the fuck was that?"
He glances at you out of the corner of his eye. "What was what?"
"Don't play dumb," you snap, your voice low but sharp. "How did you know they were coming? You didn't even look. You didn'tâ" You make a vague, frustrated gesture. "You weren't even paying attention!"
His lips twitch, just the barest hint of a smirk. "I was paying attention."
"To what? The voices you couldn't hear? The footsteps that weren't there yet?"
He hums, a soft, noncommittal sound that somehow makes you want to strangle him.
"Patterns," he says after a moment, like that explains anything. "Rhythms. This place has them if you know where to look."
You squint at him. "Patterns."
"Mm-hmm." He turns down another hallway, his hand brushing the wall briefly as he passes. "These old places... they have a pulse, you know? A heartbeat. You just have to listen for it."
You have no idea what he's talking about, and judging by the way his smirk grows, he knows it. He just likes being mysterious and theatrical.
Or so you think.
"That's the thing with people," he adds, his tone as light as if he's saying the alphabet. "They're predictable. Always moving in loops, repeating the same habits without realizing it. You just have to pay attention to when they breathe."
"When they... breathe?" You stare at him, half-convinced he's bullshitting you just to mess with your head.
He stops again, turning to face you with that same infuriatingly calm expression.
His eyes flick to your collarbones, then back up to meet yours, and you feel your shoulders stiffen under the weight of his gaze.
"You're used to Jeon," he says, his voice dropping just slightly. It's not an accusation, but it's not not one either. "He works in straight lines. Makes sense. Clear, logical. You like that about him, don't you?"
Your mouth opens, but nothing comes out.
V chuckles softly, shaking his head like he finds your silence amusing.
"Me?" He steps closer, his voice dipping into something quieter, almost conspiratorial. "I work in loops. Circles. Chaos. Everything connects if you know where to look. Even when it doesn't seem like it should."
You don't know how to respond to that, so you say the first thing that comes to mind. "That's the most pretentious thing I've ever heard."
He laughs, a short, sharp sound that makes your chest tighten.
"Mhm. Maybe," he agrees, already turning away. "But it's true."
And just like that, he's walking again, his pace as steady and unhurried as before.
You stay rooted on the spot, still trying to wrap your head around what the hell just happened.
Because as much as you hate to admit it, he's not wrong.
Not about Jeon. Not about himself. And definitely not about this place.
He stops mid-step, turning just enough to glance over his shoulder at you.
His expression is light, bordering on amused, but there's that something behind itâsomething indecipherableâlingering just under all of it.
"You coming?" he asks, his head tilting slightly to the side.
You hesitate for half a second before moving, your feet carrying you toward him like you don't have a choice.
Which, let's be real, you don't.
He waits patiently, doesn't even blink, but there's something about the way his gaze stays fixed on you that makes you feel like a bug under a microscope. Like he's dissecting you just for fun.
When you're close enough, he extends his arm toward youânot in a flourish, but with that same infuriatingly calm confidence that seems to ooze out of him. His other hand is already busy, tugging at the bloodied gloves on his fingers like he's peeling off a layer of skin. The first one comes free with a soft snap, revealing his pale, unblemished hand underneath.
You glance at the glove, then at him.
"That's gonna leave a trail," you say, unable to help yourself. "You know, for the cleanup crew you're so confident about."
V's lips twitch upwardâbarely a smirk, more like a shadow of one.
He turns the glove over in his hand, studying it like it's a piece of art, before tucking it into his pocket.
"No," he says simply, and it's infuriating how certain he sounds.
"No?" you echo, crossing your arms. "What, you think blood just... vanishes because you said so?"
He sighs, like you're being difficult on purpose, and pulls off the second glove with the same practiced ease.
"Blood doesn't vanish," he says, his tone patient, like he's explaining basic math to a particularly slow child. "But people don't notice what they're not looking for."
You frown, watching as he pulls a silk handkerchief from his pocket and wipes down the cuffs of his suit jacket. "That doesn't make any sense."
"It does if you're paying attention." He pauses, flicking the handkerchief once, twice, before folding it neatly and tucking it away. "You'd be surprised how much you can get away with when you control the narrative. People don't see blood if you don't give them a reason to look for it. They see wine. Spilled sauce. A clumsy waiter."
You don't respond. Mostly because you don't know how. He says it so matter-of-factly, like this is just another random day for him and not the aftermath of three brutal murders.
He straightens his tie next, smoothing the fabric, and his knuckles are clean nowâno blood, no dirt, nothing.
Not a single trace to suggest he just beat a man to death with them.
You blink. "Howâ?"
"A magician never reveals his secrets," he cuts in, the corners of his lips twitching upward again. "But let's just say... I'm very good at my job."
That much is obvious.
When he finally turns back to you, his arm is still extended, and his smile is just a little too charming to be trustworthy. Against your better judgment, you hook your arm through his, letting him guide you forward once more.
Thereâs a bit of silence then, wrapped in multiple questions you're not sure you want to ask.
But one of them slips out before you can stop it.
"Was this about Yunjin? Did you get Jeon's message?"
He stills. It's subtleâjust a fraction of a secondâbut you catch it.
The way his shoulders tense, the way his steps falter ever so slightly before he recovers.
When he looks at you again, his smile is different. Smaller. Tighter.
And his eyes... his eyes are sharp enough to cut glass.
"This?" he says, harsh suddenly. "This has nothing to do with Jeon."
Your brow furrows. "Then whyâ?"
"I don't like when people want my things." His tone is light, almost playful, but there's an edge to it that makes your skin prickle.
The kind of edge that tells you not to push.
You swallow, your throat suddenly dry, and decide to let it go.
His smile widens, as if it hadn't disappeared at all.
"Now," he says, his voice warm and charming again, "shall we? The party's waiting, and I'm dying to see how Jeon's managing husband duty."
You roll your eyes, but the tension in your chest doesn't ease.
Not even a little.
V's arm stays looped through yours as you enter the ballroom, grip light but present as a reminder.
You're still trying to process what just happened in the courtyard, the images flashing behind your eyes every time you blink.
The blood.
The bodies.
The way he'd moved through it all like a dancer in a violent ballet.
Then you feel it. A chill skittering down your spine, making the tiny hairs on your neck stand at attention.
It's not the coldâno, this is different.
This is that hurricane feeling, that storm-driven intensity that can only mean one thing.
Your eyes drift left, up toward the grand staircase, andâyeah. There he is.
Jeon.
He's leaning against the ornate railing, and his gaze... fuck.
The weight of it hits you like a physical thing, heavy and intense.
But his face? Perfectly blank.
You wouldn't even know he'd noticed you if not for the way he straightens, pushing off the railing in a swift movement.
His descent is as if he's got all the time in the world.
But you know better. You can see it in the set of his shoulders, in the barely-there tick of his jaw.
He's not happy.
When he reaches you, his arm extendsâan invitation that feels more like a demand.
But before you can even think about taking it, V's grip on you tightens just slightly.
"Come now, dear brother," V's voice drips honey and arsenic. "Let your wife have some fun, no?"
Jeon's eyes narrow, that storm brewing behind them getting darker by the second.
He doesn't speakâdoesn't need to. His hand just reaches for yours, palm up, waiting.
V twirls you to his other side, smooth as silk, putting himself between you and Jeon like some kind of demented dance move.
"You know," he muses, "I believe you had a rather important position to maintain. Something about... higher ground?"
"The plan changed," Jeon's voice comes out between gritted teeth, "the minute you decided to include me in your little family drama."
"Ah, but that was when our dear friends were present." V's smile is bright enough to blind. "And they're not anymore, are they? So..."
He makes a shooing motion with his free hand.
"Off you go, mm?"
"MDF is still here." Jeon's words clip short, precise. "Kaleido and Fervio may very well beâ"
"All the more reason for you to return to your post, wouldn't you say?" V cuts in smoothly. "Unless..." His head tilts, that smile turning sharp. "You'd rather stay down here? For some reason?"
You watch Jeon's tongue press against the inside of his cheek, a tell you've learned means he's about two seconds from violence.
His eyes narrow at V for a moment, calculating, assessingâbut then they shift to you.
And oh.
Oh.
Something in his expression... changes.
Softens.
Breaks.
You've never seen him look like this before, like he's trying to hold something together that's already slipping through his fingers.
And then, when you thought that was the most devastating thing of all, you hear him sayâquiet, almost childlike:
"Where were you?"
Heâs looking at you likeâlike what? Like you might vanish if he blinks too long? Like he's been searching for something and can't quite believe he's found it?
It feels wrong. All of it. The way he's looking at you, the way his voice sounds, the way your stomach twists under the weight of his stare.
Something's off, something's bad, and you don't know what or why butâ
"She was with me," V interjects, his voice light and playful. "We were having lots of fun on the terrace."
But Jeon... Jeon doesn't even acknowledge him. He just keeps looking at you, waiting. Patient. Still. Like whatever answer you're about to give matters more than anything else in this moment.
You lick your lips, mind racing.
You could tell him the truthâabout V, about what you saw, about how you'd stumbled onto his little murder scene like the world's worst timing.
You open your mouth, ready to explain that you're fine, that he doesn't need to look at you like that, like you're something precious and breakable andâ
"Well, isn't this cozy?"
Kaleido's voice slides over your skin like oil, and suddenly he's there, materializing beside you like he's been summoned by the tension alone.
His smile is perfect, manufactured, and absolutely fucking lethal.
Your stomach drops through the floor.
The shift in V is immediate.
You don't even know how he does itâhow he can just flip like that.
One second he's all charm and poison, smiling like he's got the whole world in the palm of his hand, and the next...
Gone.
That eerie brightness in his expression? Snuffed out. Just like that.
His face hardens, subtle enough that only you can really tell. The corners of his lips drop, and his jaw sets just a fraction tighter.
But it's his eyes that change the most.
Darker now. Hooded.
Like thorns coming out, a warning of something far worse than poison.
You see it right as Fervio steps up next to Kaleido, all dead-eyed menace and the kind of loose-limbed swagger that makes you want to puke.
And apparently, V sees it too, because his handâwarm, steadyâmoves to your arm.
Then you feel it.
The tug.
It's barely anything, just this slight but certain pressure as he moves you behind him, placing his body between you and whatever fresh hell Fervio plans on bringing.
It's subtle enough that no one else would noticeâthe careful repositioning, the way his stance changes just soâbut you do.
And you know why he's doing it.
He's pissed.
That glimpse of darkness you saw during the courtyard massacre earlier?
It's back now, crawling underneath the surface of his skin, but this time it's sharp, jagged.
And the worst part is, it's not even for himself.Â
You don't breathe, not when he transforms back into his usual self with that radiant, fake-ass smile plastered across his face.
It's so bright, so blinding, you almost forget what you saw just seconds ago.Â
"What a surprise seeing you again!" V chirps, his voice as cheerful as a champagne flute toast.
His shoulders are loose again, posture casual. Like you just imagined what you just saw.
Kaleido doesn't return the enthusiasm, but his eerie smile deepens, the kind that doesn't quite reach his cold, calculating eyes.
"We've been compromised, dear partners." His voice is smooth, calm. "Kkangpae is here."
You don't dare look at Jeon. Don't need to look at Jeon.
You already know his reactionâor lack of one. He doesn't so much as blink. He just stands there, cool and detached, like the mention of his gang's name isn't a firework primed to go off.
V tilts his head, that perfect expression of polite curiosity staying firmly in place.
"Compromised, you say?" His smile stays fixed, but you can sense something ominous curling around his words. "How troubling. Though I can't imagine what Kkangpae would be doing here of all places."Â
"That motherfucker V left me a little message," Fervio growls, his voice raspy and rough like sandpaper. His gaze flickers toward you, and it's greasy, sticking to your skin like tar. "Now it's made me want to toy with his pink-haired beauty even more."
Oh. God.Â
You don't realize you're holding your breath until your lungs start burning.
The room feels too small, the air too thick, and all you can hear is the rush of blood in your ears.
But V doesn't move. Doesn't flinch.
If anything, his smile widens, and it's... terrifying.Â
"Well," he says, as smooth as silk, "hate the message, not the messenger. Isn't that what they say?"
He leans forward slightly, voice dropping just enough to sound conspiratorial.
"And between us"âhis voice turns lighter, almost theatricalâ"perhaps it would be wise to listen."Â
Fervio cackles, sharp and guttural, like it's the funniest fucking thing he's ever heard. The sound makes you want to hide, recoil into yourself, and you hate that he sees it.
"Listen?" Fervio drawls, teeth baring in a smile that's more snarl than anything else. "Why would I listen to that amateur? V thinks he's an artist, but he doesn't understand murder."Â
Jeon's lips twitch at the word amateur, but he doesn't interrupt. He's watchingâwaitingâand when you risk a glance at him, you can see it in his stance.
He's tense, calculating.
Ready to pounce if given the excuse.Â
"He thinks pain is art. But real artistry? Comes when you've separated pain from pleasure. When you've extricated sex from violence. That's when you see the difference in levelâbetween a master's work," Fervioâs hand spreads, a mock flourish, "and that rabid little dog V."Â
V's hand barely spasms, the movement almost imperceptible. You only notice it because you're watching him like your life depends on itâwhich, let's be honest, it probably does.
But when he speaks, his voice is light, sweet even.Â
"Ah, but isn't that the beauty of art?" V's tone stays warm, friendly, even as his words cut like razors. "Everyone has their own... interpretation. Though some prefer a more refined approach than others."
"Refined?" Fervio scoffs. "There's nothing refined about his messy displays."
"Perhaps yes, perhaps not," V concedes with a graceful shrug. "But at least he understands the importance of... consent in certain matters. Unlike some who must force their art upon unwilling canvases."
The barb is subtleâwrapped in velvet and delivered with a smileâbut it hits.
Fervio's eyes narrow slightly.
"After all," V continues, smooth as honey, "true artistry lies in making someone want to submit to the pain, doesn't it? Anyone can take by force." His head tilts, expression innocent. "But making them beg for it? Now that's skill."
You watch the way Fervio's lips purse.
V's just called him an untalented hack who can't get willing partners, all while looking like he's discussing cooking recipes.
"Though I suppose," V muses, tapping his chin thoughtfully, "when one lacks the charm to seduce, force becomes the only option, no?"
And for the first time all night, you feel itâa flicker of something close to hope.Â
Because if anyone can hold their own against someone like Fervio, it's V.
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