Tri Awesomeness

A space dedicated to celebrating the awesomeness of triathlons, and life!

[juilletdeux]

MET Gala 2018 Best Dressed (½)

[triawesomeness]

Damn I love the MET Gala ❤️

[camewiththeframe]

“My message to young girls is that you can do much more than you ever can imagine” -Katherine Switzer

[bob-belcher]

T’Challa plays Black Jeopardy. (x)

[king-emare]

I love this

[mariposa-nena-deactivated201911]

LMAO raisins 😩😩😩😩

[triawesomeness]

It’s been ages since I’ve posted anything personal. The divorce has mentally kicked my ass. It’s been an 18-month battle, clawing my way back to any semblance of normal. I’m grateful that I had amazing support and that we both treated each other with respect. I praise every god, goddess and spirit that we didn’t have kids. I know in many ways I’m so lucky. But it still cut me to my knees. It’s been an emotional journey I’ve waged privately. But I’m also wishing I’d shared. One of the many blessings that have grown from the chaos is I’ve learned the value of vulnerability, honesty and openness. I’ve met fucking AMAZING woman who’ve been there and who’ve been my guiding lights. They’ve held me at my lowest, shared their stories and showed me I’m going to be okay. And I feel like I owe it to the ones who will come after to do the same. So here is a story... The boy bought me this camera for my 25th birthday. I'd been coveting it and he's conspired with my parents (including my Mom in England) and his to purchase it. He made sure it was the hard to find silver one I wanted and bought the package with the extra telephoto lens and bag I loved. He had his Mom make family dinner with my favourite birthday meal (KD, peas, hot dogs and lemon cake) and wrapped each part up in it's own gift. He knew I knew that was his gift and even broke our no cards rule to give me a silly "It's the final countdown" music card two days before to tease me. I didn't really learned to use it properly, and never framed a single photo I took. But I loved it. So freaking much. For 10 years this camera has gone everywhere with me. 1000s and 1000s of photos...so many memories. I hadn't been using it a lot lately (and emotionally I was keeping it at arms length). This year I was lucky enough to take what I jokingly call my ‘divorcée sabbatical’ and am in the midst of a 6 weeks trip through Southeast Asia. My Dad suggested I donate the camera to our guide/charity partner in Cambodia. He's a photographer, but his house flooded last year and destroyed his camera. It made sense and I was excited to see it go to a good home. He even took me on a photography tour yesterday and was playing with it. He was already using functions I’d never touched. I can see how much joy it's bringing him. He doesn’t know I’m going to give it to him yet, as we’re planning on surprising him on the last day of the trip. But it's triggered ALL THE FEELS!!!! All the emotions I spent months battling, that I thought were over, came rushing in. I literally spent a good hour today on my bed, hugging the camera and sobbing. My one guiding lights warned me of ‘feeling boomerangs’ and this was a wallop. I was hit with an emotional wave - the kind that knocks you off your feet. The camera is just an object, but it means so much more. It represents the best of the boy. The boy I miss every god damn day. The boy I wish I could have been a better partner to (whammy guilt tsunami). It's a gift from my best friend, whose gone. It's a talisman from a different time in my life, a different version of me. And while I love the new me I miss that person. That feeling. That time. That place. Us. I would do almost anything to get it back. To be that girl again. To be those people. There is a part of me wants to hold onto it. So....fucking...bad.... ...but I won't. Tomorrow I’ll clean it up, put it in it’s bag, and give it to someone who needs it. It’s the right thing. It’s the right time. I know it’s time to let it go. I held onto my favourite lens so I'll always have a piece. I have the memories, the photos, the lessons. And hopefully one day a new camera (and more importantly those feelings again). But today is hard. So fucking hard...

[babyanimalgifs]

this cured my depression. my anxiety. my bills. my job. everything’s fine. i hope you have a good day

[srsfunny]

More Beautiful After Being Broken

[fluffmugger]

What this trite imagery misses out on is the fact that kintsukuroi requires a lot of work to repair a piece like that.  It takes a lot of time, a lot of effort, a great deal of investment.  Sometimes parts of the original are damaged beyond repair, and you have to instead painstakingly create entirely new ones.   It’s still not the same.  Maybe it’s something more beautiful. But it’s not the fact that it broke that makes it beautiful. It’s the work put into it.  It’s the fact that people made the effort to salvage it, because it was worth salvaging, because it was important enough to salvage.      It’s the care that makes the beauty.   An apology can’t always fix what has been broken.  That doesn’t mean it’s not irreparable, sometimes you can go on to rebuild and repair.  But it won’t ever be the same as it was again.   

[contranym-xendo]

I really appreciate this addition because I’ve always hated the “more beautiful for having been broken” thing. Being broken sucks and I hate all those tragic romantic sensitivities that try to make it what it’s not. These pieces are beautiful because they’re repaired with effort put in to making them shine.

[aspiritualwarrior]

As a bee seeks nectar from all kinds of flowers, seek teachings everywhere. Like a deer that finds a quiet place to graze, seek seclusion to digest all that you have gathered. Like a mad one beyond all limits, go where you please and live like a lion, completely free of all fear.

Dzogchen Tantra (via aspiritualwarrior)

[sakura-haruka]

[forthelove-ofscience]

[teesadutta]

1.26.17

[zavone]

[zavone]

[plotsjotsandespressoshots-deact]

Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?

[suicunesrider]

not gonna lie that still looks intimately real

[drtanner-dickery]

I’m still somewhat convinced that someone sold their soul to create the special effects in Jurassic Park because that shit is over 20 years old and it still really, really holds up, better than the stuff in a lot of current movies, even.

Fucking witchcraft, man. 

[fanboyingoverdemigods]

fucking look at this shit though

[mauridianhallow]

Literally see this post flying around with a few different responses added to the bottom each time so I’ll say it for this one myself:

THEY ACTUALLY BUILT A GIANT MASSIVELY DETAILED FUCKING ANIMATRONIC T-REX FOR ALL OF THIS THAT’S WHY THE EFFECTS ARE SO GOOD. CAUSE IT AIN’T CGI. AND IT AIN’T GUY IN A COSTUME. IT’S A BIG FUCKING ROBOT DINOSAUR. AND EVERY PART IS DESIGNED TO MOVE. IT COST LIKE HALF THE BUDGET OF THE FILM.

[mizushimo]

amazing

[shadowthorne]

And they had the film it in small increments, especially in the outdoor scenes, because the rain fall kept soaking into the ‘skin’ of the rex and would slow down and mess up its movements. So they would stop filming and have a crew out there drying off this massive, fake dinosaur, and then they’d start filming again until it was too wet. Repeat until the end of the scene.

[mad-dyspunktional]

They used animatronics and detailed costumes for most if not all of the dinosaurs in the first movie.

The triceratops for instance, was also animatronic.

And the raptors were dudes in suits. I shit you not.

[datneeks]

One of my favorite anecdotes I’ve read on tumblr is how the t-rex robot from Jurassic park would malfunction while it was drying out. How did it malfunction, you might wonder?

Motherfucker randomly started moving.

So apparently if you were on the jp set you would sometimes hear people screaming bloody murder even though they were all well aware that it was a giant animatronic puppet and wouldn’t actually, you know, eat them.

[muck-raker-deactivated20181222]

(link to said post about malfunctioning t-rex)

[alessariel]

Did not know this, had to reblog for awesome movie history insights.

[brainsforbabyjesus]

So, I knew about the animatronics bit but I did not know the raptors were guys in suits and the malfunctioning t-rex sounds terrifying.

And i just googled malfunctioning t-rex and was not disappointed. Apparently in order to put the skin on over the steel frame a guy had to crawl inside the t-rex while it was turned on and glue the skin down. And if somebody turned the t-rex off or the power went out the guy in the t-rex stood a very real chance of getting mangled and killed by the hydraulics.

So of course, the power goes out.

And this guy is still in there gluing the skin down.

Apparently the way to survive getting sheered to death by huge sheets of metal while you’re inside a giant t-rex robot is to curl into a ball and hope for the best.

And this guy hoped for the best and got it.

Some other people on stage pried open the t-rex jaws and glue guy crawled out of its mouth and was totally okay.

[alessariel]

This is getting better and better.

[red-dirt-roads-deactivated20161]

I think they only had like 6 minutes of CGI

[teslasturtle-deactivated2023011]

I’m just waiting for the T-Rex to come to life and leave its stand.

[perspectivemax-deactivated20181]

@spinosaurus-the-fisher is this the kind of content you love?

[myloverhammurabi]

Realism comes at a cost, it seems.

[gorsime]

i mean ok but why has nobody posted this:

[myloverhammurabi]

It’s a three piece raptor suit.

[flamingbluepanda]

Old movies had the best special effects

[micdotcom]

Chuck Schumer basically subtweeted Trump in his inauguration speech

[micdotcom]

Key & Peele brought back Obama’s anger translator one last time

[triawesomeness]

As a Canadian watching the US sometimes I don't know whether to 😂 or 😢

[triawesomeness]

How to Reach the Next Stage of Your Personal Evolution – The Mission

“Every next level of your life will demand a different you.” — Leonardo DiCaprio

This morning I got an email from my triathlon club reminding me to sign-up for the 2017 season. Instead of excitement it filled me with…nothing.

For eight years triathlon has been a massive part of my life. I loved the challenge, the people, the identity. I didn’t understand those people who just walked away. Until I was the one contemplating walking away.

Everyone warned my post-Ironman blues was a thing (and it is) so I was patient. I gave myself a month…three months….six months…a year…18 months onwards and any thoughts of triathlon result in a giant “NOPE”.

Do I want to jump in a freezing cold pool and chase feet? Not really. Get my ass handed to me at another track session? Fuck no. Schlep my bike and trainer around? Ugh. I look at the 2017 race schedule and nothing is calling me.

It makes me sad. It feels weird that was once so important may not be a part of my life anymore. But I’m starting to accept it. Triathlon gave me so much - confidence, rockstar friends and experiences I never would have had - but it also took a lot of time, energy and money. 

I’m not the same person I was nine Januarys ago when I showed up for my first triathlon coaching consultation. I’ve changed cities, jobs, friends and watched my unsinkable relationship hit an iceberg and sink like the Titanic. I’m in “naked lobster” mode - transitioning from one shell to another. 

I know triathlon will be there when I need it. But right now I don’t. Right now I need things like workouts at the crossfit box, snowshoe adventures, ski trips, mountain biking, yoga and quite nights cuddled with my cats. I need to try new things that challenge my body (ju jitsu) and mind (meditation/floating). 

So for now triathlon, so long and thanks for all the fish.

[kushandwizdom]

[triawesomeness]

I spent the first day of 2017 completely numb. I spent it in a daze powered by equal thirds anxious mania, emotional breakdown and slug-like laziness. It’s now 11:00pm. I’m high as a kite (of course, it’s my routine these days), trying to write some sort of ‘my year in the review, 2017 is going to be the best year ever’ type shit and I realize I fucking can’t. I’m sitting here rewriting the first paragraph this post over and over again. I’m trying to make is sound 'real’, but that fake perky real that doesn’t actually show anything just contains the right amount of brevity to show you’re human. I’m trying to sound smart and sassy and strong. To put a face on and tell everyone it’s going to be okay. That I’m going to be okay. 

But it would be a lie. And I’m so done with lying. With faking that everything is okay. Everything is not okay right now.  

I’m listening to my Spotify 2016 ‘Year in Review’ playlist. It’s a trip. 2016 beat the shit out of me. Flying knee kick style. The music blasting into my ears is a time capsule. Every feeling I’ve had this year are somehow captured on some random track. I’m riding some sort of psycho mini emotional rollercoaster. 

The boy and I blew up. 11 years and it imploded. It seemed to change in a second, but really it was a powder keg that built up over years. The explosion caught me off guard. So did the force of it. And I’m still trying to sort out the damage.

The year is divided into two halves - before and after. And I barely remember before. I don’t know that person. I miss that person. I miss that life. I hate that girl, who was sitting there at the start of 2016 and didn’t see it coming. I want to scream at her, to slap her, to tell her to get her shit together. To realize how good she has it. To be more appreciative. To see the faults - in herself, in her relationship, in him and WAKE UP!  Save it.  You could save it if you’d known. If I could just rewind an hour, a week, a year before we hit the iceberg and we could fucking fix it.  But I can’t. I can’t stop it, I can’t fix it. 

Now we’re in this horrible in between place. Staring at the rubble. Both broken, hurt, scared shitless. Angry. Sad. Frustrated. Tired. So tired. It gets better and worse. Worse then better. Then nothing. We talk but it doesn’t feel easy. The world won’t let us stop to just breath. To just figure it out. I want to yell. I want to just yell so loud that the entire world just stops. I want it to just leave us alone, and let us go somewhere where we can just relax. Where we can calm the fuck down and give ourselves the time, space and atmosphere to really work on this. Even if we broke forever, to be able to end at peace. But life just won’t stop. It steamrolls through. Life is the mother fucking honey badger.

And my grandma passed away this year. She was an amazing lady and I can only hope to be as strong as she was. But when I cry I don’t cry for her. I’m glad she didn’t have to see me go through this to be honest. It breaks my heart that I haven’t grieved her in the way I’ve grieved the loss of my life (or at least the life I thought I was going to have). 

I don’t know what’s going to happen now. I know the way it is now can’t go on forever but I don’t know the outcome and I’m scared shitless. No outcome feels good. The ones I want feel impossible, and the ones that feel possible all fucking suck. I feel like my life is the cat in the box, all possibilities and none at once. 

On some level it’s fine I know that a year from now, ten years from now, thirty years from now this will just be a memory, that it will have happened for a reason, that I’ll have grown blah blah blah. But sitting in it now - sitting in the not knowing, in the middle of the storm while my ego, pride and heart take a shit kicking - is fucking brutal.

I know that I still have work to do. That just because it’s a new year doesn’t mean that it’s going to be fixed. That this battle - for myself, for my relationship - is not even close to over. That I need to get up tomorrow and yell at the life-steamroll-honey-badger, “Bring it badger! You won’t break me!”. That this battle is won in a million baby steps that never end. That is life.

But today I’m so tired. The last six months have been a blur. I am so sick of hearing I’m strong. I feel like I’m falling apart. Like I’m loosing it a little bit. I just don’t feel comfortable. I know I should do things so I do them, but I feel like a robot. My body is going through the motions, but my head and heart are rarely with me. My friends and family have been amazing, the most supportive, stellar people you could ask for. I survived because of them, and I will always be grateful.

But there is only so much friends and family can do, and I’ve also been fighting alone. The emotional battle rages inside, and no one can help me with that. But I’m so lonely. He was the only person I felt safe with. Where I could relax and just ‘be’. When it’s just me I spin out. I hate being alone in my own head. So I either smoke too much weed - because being high is the only time the dark clouds part and I can relax and feel a ‘genuine’ happy emotion - or I try and distract myself by doing more, more, more. Because at least if I get shit done it’s not as hard to pick up the pieces when my head catches up. My fantasy is to run away from everything but I know it’s really myself I want to get away from. 

Maybe in 2017 I just want to find some peace. Look at the wound, but don’t pick it. Take the time I need, but don’t waste it rehashing it either. I’m going to keep fighting for my relationship - my hearts not ready to let go yet - but I’ve also got to fight for myself. That I have to find peace on the inside. And that battle scares the shit out of me because I know me. I know that I can be my own worse enemy.