Tricia Sera @triciasera - Tumblr Blog

[Till Death Do us Part] 07: Give me grace

Lohen x Fem reader| a walk near the lake, some weird gifts, mention of parents+feelings about prior relationships. A little in the feels with this one, so beware. We're really in it now! Written before his oficial release, so details are murky rn, may be considered ooc Lohen. There is a taglist, if you'd like to be added, please let me know in the comments! This is not entirely proofread! WC: 5.7K

A/N: literally while writing this is was like "what if when he releases Lohen is like an orphan or something. Like apart of the dead parents club." I then paused to think about all of this, but then said fuck it we ball. Future me can deal with this.

Series masterlist:

Tag list: @saaaasas @chuuhasmylove @shyxlybby @kithewanderingme @feafofu @lalalaloveallmydays @qaxdea @sneakymambablog @ssoulsborne @sasing07 @levifart @yoimyas @nishayuro @kajispeaches @chalksniffed @triciasera @jals-stuff @606meow @sksjdkksjsjsh @justcallmemidnight @entries-by-eri @lunavixia @dreamsfo @penguinidooo @timetravels-posts @supernovaria @tsuk1luv

Late into the night of the party, while many were drinking, laughing, enjoying themselves. Lohen, who did drink a bit, but not too much, was watching you sleep in 2 sets of chairs.

It amazes him with your innate ability to find a way to fall asleep, much less always around him. Your head was resting on his lap, arms curled up around you, his coat was used as a blanket. It was nearly midnight; you’ve been sleeping for around 15 minutes or so. In about a few more minutes, he’ll wake you up to take you both home. He doesn’t feel like he has enough care to walk back to his place. Even if he did, knowing you; you’ll just pull him into your home and let him stay the night again. He was nursing a mug of ale, his eyes drifting around the tables of people.

A few were sleeping off the drinks; some couples were still dancing. Jean was also sleeping, so was Lisa. Someone somewhere was singing off-key sailor songs. They slowly changed to the hymn knights of old used to sing before going into battle. Still off-key and slurred from the wine. A few barrels of wine were just empty; the ale station had to switch attendants six times in the night from what Lohen paid attention to. But his attention, throughout the night remained on you.

His feelings were shifting and changing as the night went on. From perhaps he was too ‘caught up’ in everything going on. Maybe it was again; trying to pay this all back to you, hence why he was being a lovesick fool these past few weeks. But the bottom line was still there: no part of him wanted to stop. These feelings will continue to register and prosper in his mind. And as much as Lohen wanted to squish them down to not ruin your friendship or whatever this was growing to be, it was hard to define now. He wanted to preserve all he can. Like putting it into a picture frame, he’ll hang it next to his heart.

So, he won’t ‘let up’, he’ll be honest with himself, no matter how terrifying it will be. If you come to hate him after, oh well. It was nice while it lasted, worrying about a future he could or could not have was not as important to him right now.

You were.

As long you’ll have him. He will stay, stay like this forever.

So, he was just here, sitting and thinking in deep thought. He needed to take you home, first and foremost. Sleeping on these stiff chairs was not comfortable. The next thing he needed to do was let off some steam. All of this was tiring, he still had to write that dam letter to the Cardinal, he still has to set up a meeting with his parents. It would be placed on Barbatos’s soul if they did not know anything about you two by now. Honestly, more than just a miracle, it would possibly drain all the luck Lohen has stored up.

The gift table was nice though, many thoughtful gifts. From pictures, art, handmade gifts - Klee had drawn the most adorable picture to mankind, she was so happy when you opened the red folder she excitedly handed over. – also, some furniture for home. Coupons to furniture stores, some dishware, someone bought you lingerie? Which was, wow (If you asked Lohen, the color was not the color he would have chosen for you. It was nice but not fit for his standards) and Lohen had to promptly threaten kindly remind the person not to give such items in public space.

The gifts were wrapped up nicely; a few knights were kind enough to leave early to deliver them to Lohen’s place for the time being. Varka gifted you both some very nice gifts from Nod Krai, items from the Frost Moon Scions, some candies from Nasha Town, and a few items crafted by the “Whiz-Kid” genius herself. All very nice things in all.

As for the ones neither of you liked…well…they’ll make great target practice items for tomorrow. A great way to fight off a hangover if Lohen ever knew it. That or the feeling of flesh slice under his blade. But the shitty gifts will have to do for now.

You shifted in your little cocoon, all nicely curled up. Your head was resting on Lohen’s thigh; occasionally he had to flex the muscle underneath or else his leg would have fallen asleep from sitting for too long. You barely startled or were jostled awake. His jacket covered your bottom half, not to worry about any creeps, (not that anyone would be stupid enough to try to), but out of respect for you.

Here you rested, the well-respected ranged company captain. A woman with strength and reliability at her fingertips. Knocked out after a few drinks.

You were not a “lightweight” when it came to drinking but-you did have a nice plate of food from the Good Hunter venue. All the activity and dancing caught up with you. That and entertaining Klee for the night. Any time you had a chance, you would indulge in the explosive little girl, and she in turn would happily give you anything back. At one point in the party, you went fish blasting with Klee, Lohen did join in though, so it was a group activity. Alice cooed at how easily you two acted around her. Her tone had much to be imagined, even telling you could do playdates with Klee during work hours. (If she wasn’t in timeout)

He knew he could just carry you home again, you wouldn’t mind. He just knew trying to leave would cause a stir that would wake you. Lohen leaned down, inspecting your peaceful expression, his fingers; infused with cryo, press against your neck. Not enough to scare you awake, just enough to get you awake. After a few seconds, your eyes flutter awake. Lohen smirks as he whispers. “We need to go home beautiful; I can’t carry you and your gifts.” He could. He definitely could.

You grimaced; your sleepy expression was doing things to his heart he didn’t settle down on. Standing up, Lohen offers his hand, using his leg: he kicks the chair back under the table. He wraps his jacket around you as you stand, you looked like a lost lamb. Just blinking and adjusting from your sleep. You looked a little grumpy.

“What time is it?” Your voice was hoarse as you whispered.

“Past midnight babe, we need to get you home.” He offered his arm for you to hold and lean against while he guided you both to talk to Varka. The Grandmaster was drunk off his ass. He was there singing the sailors songs and hymns with everyone else. He only got pulled away upon seeing you two.

“Leaving so soon? It’s only been a few hours?!” Varka laughed, it sounded more like a howl. But the Grandmaster could tell you two needed to head home, so being the superior (dad coded), he helped pack up the rest of the gifts, some food, and got Jean awake (much to her dismay) so she could help get people home. Finally, the masses started to settle down, and some people were sleeping on the lawns of the winery’s back lot. Others were sleeping between the grape vines. “Get home safe you two, Lohen don’t let her stumble or tumble, got it?” Varka waved you both off, his voice booming from the distance.

“Yes sir! Thank you.” Lohen called out, he guided you along the path back to the main city. The night sky loomed over you, stars sparkling on the canvas the midnight sky created. The moon was gleaming, beautifully shining its faint light along your path. You were awake now, only your eyes remained half-lidded. You were sleepily chatting with Lohen, about whatever crossed your mind.

“I’m burning the lingerie Jenkins got you.”

“Mhm, but counter- you could shred it up and repurpose it.”

“Yes, as fuel, or I can just burn the remnants in acid, the vile thing would probably make the acidity stronger.” You chuckled at his obvious distaste for the gift.

“Well, it was a very well-thought gift.” You teased. Lohen tightened his grip on your hand, not to hurt but for emphasis. His eyes were on the dirt path before you, but he could not lie. The image of you in the lingerie infiltrated his mind.

“Too-well thought. I’m still burning them.” He was serious, it still was funny.

“I thought you were supposed to be the unserious one? What changed?” Your question was laced in humor, but he did stop to think about it.

It could be, he doesn’t want his captain humiliated by some jackass’s gift. Much less at a party celebrating said captain. You were too kind sometimes. The kindness you give him was, well for him. Not for anyone else. If anyone were to grate your nerves or get you riled up from their teasing, it should be him. Not some asshole from cavalry who seems to be as stupid as a horse. (the poor horse). Even Kaeya cringed at the dam gift.

“I am unserious, only when you are sober and not sleepy babe.” You observed, even with your brain trying to force your eyes close, you stayed awake. Alert enough for the change to be noticeable

“Ah, so babe won on the nickname raffle?”

“What? You want a prize?”

You shake your head against his arm, giggling as the walk was nearing its end. When you reached Lohen’s residence within the city, you were about ready to sleep. He quickly got you inside, locked the door and got you to lay on the couch for the time being. Quick and effortlessly, he put everything away, the food, the gifts, everything.

Coming back to you on the couch, he helped get your shoes off. Gently, he lifted you up, carrying you down the hall to his bedroom, then to his bed. He did not have the gall to undress you (as much as he wanted to), so he threw a blanket on you for now. His hands were itching; he needed to head out now. If he was gone until morning, so be it, but he had to secure you first.

Once you were good, Lohen quickly gathered his polearm, his dagger and a small vial of acid. When he passed a wall clock, the time read 1:43 AM. He had about 8 more hours before you woke up. Enough time to just turn his brain off. Luckily, he did remember a few locations from prior experience for these occasions. There was the beach near Windrise, the hilichurl camps in the mountains, and a few treasure hoarder camps scurried around Windrest.

He’ll figure it out once he gets out the city gate, for now he quickly check on you once more before leaving to go massacre whatever rogue population of his choosing. His jaw was tight, his lips formed that signature smile, and his eyes were frantic. He was going to make the most of these next eight hours.

---

When you woke up, two things were apparent.

One, this was not your bed, or home.

Two, there was the lunatic who was hovering over you staring with wide eyes.

Not just any lunatic, no. That would be too easy, it was just Lohen staring at you.

“Rise and shine [name].” His voice entered that sing-song tune you knew all too well. His hair was damp; his skin carried that fresh shower smell and shine. When your eyes registered that he was perched beside you, your mind came back to reason and logic.

This was Lohen’s home. He took you to his place instead of yours.

It was kinder, seeing as walking you back to your residence was longer. So, this was a grace blessed by him. You turned over, the sunlight was filtered by the curtains drawn over the window. On the bedside table, a pitcher of water and a glass awaiting you. Telling by the frost on the glass, it was fresh cold water he prepared.

Leaning up, you took the water, mummering a “thanks”. Your voice was dry, and hoarse. You were dehydrated, and your back was hurting (Those dam chairs). Lohen kept his eyes trained on you, if you were to guess - from prior knowledge- he did something. He was just waiting for you to catch on.

“What’d you do?” You coughed a little and cleared your throat. Lohen: without saying a word, left the room and returned. His hands behind his back. “Guess.”

“If I guess incorrectly what will you do?”

“Pour that pitcher of water on you to wake you up properly.”

“How kind, should have known better.” It was not the first time; one time he dripped an ice cube down your back when you were sparring together. Bastard kept it cold in his hand the entire match, only to pull that on you at the end. In Lohen’s defense, it did cool you off.

“Telling by your smile, you did something, not entirely reckless but not safe either.”

“Correct as ever captain.” His lips were curled now, like a cat. He was grinning from ear to ear. Your deadpan and tired look was adding fuel to the fire.

“What fight did you go pick?”

“Ooh~, you’re deduction skills, even this early are to be admired babe, keep guessing. You’re getting warmer.”

Rubbing your temples, you think for a moment. You think about the night before, and the party. All the memories come back to you, finally you have your answer.

“Did you burn the lingerie.”

“I used it as a starter for the acid on my dagger. Insufficient as the gift-giver was.” He shrugged; he exposed his hands. The green vial was bubbling within the glass. One drop could burn through anything, no matter the material. When Lohen first demonstrated this to you, you had to write him an HR report for having it on his person. But you did let him keep it, under the condition he’d keep it away from people you worked with. Too many recruits were already frightened of him, if he went around showing that, you’d have to be lectured by Jean. Your leniency for Lohen had to be studied.

He did argue that some knights carried worse on them. Like Amber with Barron Bunny, or Sucrose with the “bone thing”. So safe to say, he got to keep it.

“You used, the entire set, in that vial?”

“Yes, then I tore throw the hilichurl camp up near Windrest, fought this big cook-looking one. He made me use an entire vial and dulled by polearm.” Lohen recounted his entire night, he only got back home a few hours before you were woken up. He didn’t take too many injuries, from what you could see.

“How long was I out?” You rubbed your eyes, looking around the room like a lost kitten.

“About 9-ish hours. You were struggling to stay awake at the party; I decided to get us home before you were sleeping on the ground. You’re welcome by the way.” Lohen leaned over to pinch your cheek. His fingers were cold to the touch, that only was enough to shake any sleep off you. “Thank you Lohen.” Your tone was dripped in sarcasm, but in your heart you were thankful for him.

You yawned yet again, your mind wandering for something to do. After a few minutes your mind was made.

“Lohen?”, he hummed in response. He rested his head on his hand, while lying on the bed’s pillows.

“Can we take a walk near the shore? I feel like being near a body of water would make this hangover less…this.” Your eyes drifted to his, at first it read as surprise, but then slowly acceptance. He could not say no to you, or any idea you came up with. Spoiled, you are, only by him.

“Lets get you home and changed, then we can take our walk, yeah?” He hopped off the bed to get your shoes from the living room. With some snacks left over from the party in your system, and another glass of water. You walked home, cleaned up, changed, and returned to his door. By that time Lohen dressed casually, with no heavy armor or padding in sight.

You offered your arm this time, a smirk blooming on your face. “Shall we?”

“We shall.” He returned the smirk, hooking his arm with yours. Beginning your walk to the shore of the city.

--

The pebble skipped across the lake’s surface, bouncing at least 4 times before sinking into the waters depths.

Sitting in the shade of the tree, taking a small break from your walk. Lohen and you wasted time talking, laughing, or just in comfortable silence. Like now. He was throwing pebbles across the lake, the farthest being 8 skips. You would choose the pebbles, handing to him. The wind flowed around you, whispering with dandelions and secrets from afar.

With any normal outing, this would be seen as “boring”. The Lohen from over a year ago would have agreed with this, but the Lohen now couldn’t disagree more. Being used to action, or something always occurring grew tiring. This, what was happening now, was slower, calming. A relaxing juxtaposition from the entire month you have shared together in this arrangement.

Learning to enjoy the softness was always a challenge for him, so when you started to include him in things like this…it changed a few things in him. It did not override everything, no that would be impossible. But he grew to adore the parallels between you two. Working together in a soft quietness, finishing reports. Sharpening weapons.

Now, just wasting time. You had no where to go, no where to be needed. All you had was right here and now. It was all he wanted.

You hand him another pebble, watching as it skips across the lake. After a few more tosses, Lohen takes a seat beside you in the trees shade. “Think 8 was your best, that one went to 7.” You commented, Lohen only huffed in fake annoyance.

“Rigged I tell you.”

Your shoulders shake as you laugh, he digs in his pocket to offer you gum. After this you may go get breakfast together, you decline the gum as you know he keeps enough for only him. Lohen pops the bubblegum into his mouth, chewing slowly. “Do you think the nation will calm down now that the party happened?”

“Rigged?”

“Rigged.”

“Hm? Not likely, I still want to know who spread the information about our marriage. I still think it was Lisa.” You twirl a blade of grass between your fingers, your eyes moving across the scenery. Never settled on specific thing. Lohen nodded, “Well now everyone knows, even the archons too?”

“Your parents too? They’ve been quiet, no more letters coming on your desk every week.”

He shrugged; you wanted to kick yourself for bringing them up. You scrambled to change the subject, but Lohen kept it as is. He leaned back against the tree, looking at the sky sculpted between each branch. Fracturing any light that shined through the leaves. “They know. I know they know. I think they’re just waiting for me to write to them first to explain.”

“Mhm…then we’d go meet them, well according to the plan, right?” You suggest, he doesn’t make a sound to confirm. Truthfully, Lohen didn’t want to follow the arrangement plan anymore. If he followed it, then there was a means to end.

As confusing as his current emotional state regarding you, and his feelings about you. He did not want this to end. At first he hoped you would remain friends, but he doesn’t think he could go back to that. Not after all of this, he thinks you also understand that now.

Everything was delicate, not fragile. Fragile means one touch and its broken. Delicate suggests there was some width there, some strength, a possibility that there was hope at the end. What was the hope? He didn’t have the answer just yet for it, not one to tell you right now of course. As confident as Lohen can be, and as flirtatious as he wanted to be, it still terrified him that you are pretending. That you’re being too accepting of him, tolerating all of this.

This began with your offering, if it stretched too thin, it would snap.

Which was why he dreaded this plan moving forward, let him stall. Make time, waste time like this. But it won’t happen that way, he can’t just let it happen this way. Too caring about your feelings and opinions. He respected and cared for you too much to toss that aside.

Now that he knows others who have done that, like the bastard in Fontaine, he won’t repeat that mistake. You still had to work with him for archons sake.

“We’ll meet them, but I have to warn you, you’ll be a little put off.” He warned, his voice low but lazy.

“How so?”

“I’ve courted…too many women to count. Sometimes, like I’ve told you, on my own account. The others were from my parents intrusion. They already have strong feelings regarding my profession, so get ready for an earful.” Some of the others matches either did not last the course or could not handle the heat.

“Well…then things change, they always do. We adapt and continue. We’ve done worse, seen worse.” You jest, nudging his arm. You tried smiling but, Lohen didn’t budge. Your smile turned into a frown; you raise your hand to cup his cheek. Your fingers grazing the mole under his eye.

“I’m serious Lohen, if it’s a challenge, then I’ll take it. You won’t have to face the burden. If they know by now, good. One less part of the equation for us to worry about. If they don’t let off trying to have you demoted then, I’ll still protect you personally. I’ll even speak to the Grandmaster about my position if that threat were to become reality.” That sparked something in him.

Lohen turned his head, leaning into your hand. His cheek was smushed, but he did not care.

“You’re serious?”

“Very.”

“Why?”

“I’ve told you this before, I don-”

“You don’t want another vice-captain, I know. But why?” A part of him wants to fantasize about the “why”. It felt needed, this was more than just a ‘job’ thing. It felt personal. You stiffened, the gears in your head turning to find his answer. His tone implied he was serious. Before, he tried to play it off as you’d be annoyed working without him or dreading the process of finding someone capable. But now? He knew better.

You knew better too, he could tell from how long you were processing a response.

“I…I don’t think I could continue working at headquarters if you weren’t there.” Your voice was small, not meek, but very quiet. Your hand leaves his cheek, coming to your lap, fingers pinching blades of grass between each digit. “I think I’m so accustomed to you, that working without you feels…wrong. I don’t know why it does. I notice when you leave for periods of time, or when your assignments run longer. When you go out on your…adventures, I notice. I just don’t say anything.”

“Why?” he couldn’t look at you, if he did, he’d lose it.

“I don’t know…you’ve grown on me. I like our routine, our structure. The balance is something I find fascinating between us.” You rambled; your eyes avoided him entirely. Looking at each blade of grass being picked up from the ground, only to be carried away in the wind. “You can be irritating sometimes, erratic other times. You are a wildcard I can never know how to play. If I miscalculated, I’d lose. If I tried to plan, I’d never have won. That’s what’s so interesting about you Lohen, I never know.”

It was silent for a while, too long to be comfortable, but not too short to be coincidence.

But then he laughs.

He laughs and you don’t know why he’s laughing. Anxiety bubbles in your chest, your eyes zone out as you try to come up with an answer. It wasn’t his usual laugh, maniacal but endearing. Not one of those occasional giggles he lets out, not even a snicker. Just a laugh sounding from his chest.

You feel his head rest on your shoulder; you tense but relax when his fingers find yours. Like always your hands curl around each other. He sighs and looks out to the lake.

“You…are always too good, [name].”

“I am not.”

“You are. You always are. I think it blows my mind how you always are so good to me.” He shakes his head, pushing strands of hair away from his forehead. “When we first met, I thought you’d grow to hate me or worse ignore me. But no, each time you proved me wrong.”

“I wanted us to have a proper working relationship, I think sometimes I’m too accepting.”

“I think you’re perfect as you are. The honesty is refreshing.” Lohen tilted his head slightly; to let you make eye contact with him. Your eyes do gradually lift to meet his. “You always answer me, you could have lied, you know?”

“Why would I? That’d be a waste.” You huffed; it would have. He could sniff it out if he tried.

“See? Proving you’re too good.”

“You say that likes it’s a bad thing.”

“Its not. So don’t treat it as one. You…are too good…so good that even if this all goes to shit…you leaving headquarters or demoting yourself would be more of a waste than punishment. The ranged company would lose status and hardly recover in time. I think Grandmaster would cry, Jean would have a heart attack, and I…”

“You?” Your voice was tight.

“I’d never forgive myself for doing that to you.” Clear as day, no whisper, no stutter. Lohen would not forgive himself if you demoted yourself. The guilt would nag at him until he finally croaked. The good thing that you are, leaving off to do something else with your life, based off his poor life choices? He’d be staring death in the face before he’d allow that.

“I’d still find a way to forgive you.” You whispered.

“Of course you would. Would you do it for anyone else?”

“No…I think that also…plays a reason on why I wanted you to stay, I don’t think I could be like this with anyone else. I’d be odd then.” You remarked, you couldn’t. The banter, the jokes, the physical connection, everything. No one else could come close to this, to what you both have. This delicate thing.

“The I should be lucky.” Lucky you care this much about me; he wanted to add. But it died in his throat.

You nodded, squeezing this hand you lean your head atop his. There was so much to be said, to be desired. But this, whatever this is, was enough for right now. You both seemed to agree, wordlessly the morning stretched into early afternoon.

By the time you left, the lake had grown still, the pebbles sitting at the bottom of the lake forgotten. The tree’s roots carry memories from beyond the earths crust, but this-whatever it is- was still there. Sitting under the tree, waiting to be addressed. When you build up the courage perhaps you’ll return to address it, but as for now? It sits in a space and time only for Lohen and you to decide.

--

That night, Lohen barely got a wink of sleep.

His eyes burned from staring at the ceiling; the unrelenting thoughts danced around his mind for ages. He felt like he was going insane. Sitting up in bed, he could feel where you once rested, so comfortable in your own world. When he observed your sleeping body, he imagined it every day. Waking up to the image every day, falling asleep with you every night. This is how he knows he can’t just wait anymore

Contradicting his thoughts, his actions were one thing on their own. He could rationalize it all, ‘spur of the moment’ decisions. But the deeper he thought about them, the more the spiral came. A groan left his lips as he fell back against his pillow. His hands covered his eyes in frustration. Why? Why can’t he just say it? What was holding him down?

He never gets like this, he just...does. He doesn’t dwell on the worries of the “little” things, not when so much more “bigger” things awaited him. But this was big, it was so big it determined his happiness. Today confirmed that. It confirmed so many things.

He knew he could feel it in his body and soul. This had grown past what was initially agreed upon. It had; he tried ignoring it, pretending and dancing around it. But no, it has. The “make it seem real” was too real. It was suffocatingly real.

So real he wanted this to last. He wanted this marriage and all its realness to last.

He would be a damned man if he didn’t think you felt the same, you had to. He wasn’t blind, and he could sure as hell read between the lines. So, if that were the case, he needed to address it. To himself. That ‘what if’ you weren’t pretending?

Then this marriage has a reason to stay, for you both to stay. If you didn’t know then he needed to convince you to stay.

He needed you to stay, not only with the “blood thirsty”, “fiend of battle” knight you’ve worked with. No, he needed you to stay for the man underneath. The one carrying his fears, baggage, and insecurities like a dead body. If that man were to want to be loved and cherished by you, then he had to show you him.

Springing out of bed, Lohen turned on his desk light, he placed a paper and pen on the wooden desk. Taking a seat, he stared at the blank page. Starting was the hardest step, but it was best to address it to his parents. Writing to his family home, he began.

It started messy, it will end messy. That’s just how things will be.

For all the previous matches he had, he never let on this much. The charm, the flirts were like a small game. A test, to see if they could see what lay underneath. You could see through him every time. So often it gets annoying, like he can’t lie around you about his day. You’d get it out of him in some way or another.

The details of the letter were to be forgotten; the only important thing was him requesting to speak to his family formally. To “air” things out. The letter would take at least a week to be processed, so it gave him time to process. But not time to back out. No.

He was going to be selfish, be greedy. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to be the happiest he’s been in a long time, always with you. Every day and night, every hour and minute. Even if it hurts, he could take the pain, he’s had worse. Done worse. But he’d do it for you, he’d take all this on for you. He’d do so much for you, kill if necessary, face his worst enemy, he’d answer any demand. All just to be happy with you.

The world could see it, Varka could see it, he was just too stupid not to. You are his comfort, his breath of fresh air, the warmth that sneaks down his spine when it aches. When the worst days come to him, he could seek your time just to amend them, a remedy found with no medicine or doctor. So, he was right before, he could not fathom the day you’d come to hate him, but he also could not fathom the day you’d stop loving him. And he could not foresee a future where he didn’t either.

Placing the pen down, he had finished. The letter was ready, and so was he.

It makes him laugh a little. When he was young, he used to hear the kids back then speak about soulmates, “love at first sight”, all things Lohen failed to believe into his adulthood. He lived in the moment, never in the past. The future carries uncertainty, the past is concrete, the present is now, so stay with it. This was his philosophy; it has protected him up until now. But like with a lot of things concerning Lohen, he was unpredictable. A wildcard as you had said.

This was definitely not love at first sight. But like all things, it took time to grow into what it is now. If he were to guess, if your relationship was like a flower, it was about to bloom. It was the perfect season, the perfect weather, the timing was there. It just needed one final thing, a final test.

Lohen sealed the envelope, finishing the letter. He turned the desk lamp off and settled back into his bed. He did not need to go out to let off steam, instead he was comfortable for once this entire night. His eyes drifted to a close as dreams flooded his mind. He’ll forget them by morning, he always did. But the idea of soulmates was the theme of tonight’s dream.

Lohen never believed in the idea of soulmates, it was ridiculous to him as a young boy. However, if he wanted, wanting a chance to love you. He’d bare his entire soul to you, giving every piece, flaw, and part for you to inspect in your hands. You could cut it out of him if you wanted. As long as it was yours, that’s what he needed. All he asks is that you give him the same care, the same thoughtful time you always gave him. Even if some part of it gets damaged, you’d patch it up. Like you always do.

Always.

A/N: Enjoy the double update, I'm predicting, based on updating my notes for this fic, there will be about 4-5 more chapters left. I have to rewrite those notes, but that seems about right in my mind (nothing is ever guaranteed). But yeah, it's like 2 AM, I go to sleep now! Okay love you all byeee!-Berri

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Tricia Sera