I’ve done shitty things in the past due to trauma and being pressured into it, I was so young and had no idea what I was doing was bad. 14 is a big age but you need to understand Ive been on the internet since the age of 4ish, everything starting when I was 9-10. I am beyond traumatized from those dark years and am.. just now healing. Slowly. Im going on 16 soon and I just want to leave it all behind.
Its time to leave the past in the past and move on.
I want to heal, and grow up to be a semi-functioning member of society.. not shut out because of how “weird/creepy” or “abusive” I was. I wasn’t trying to be. I was a kid experiencing many kinds of abuse at once, and I didn’t know how to cope so I touched myself often.. obviously doing this pre-puberty wasn’t a good idea and its scarred me. Over time my horomones kicked in and got worse and worse over time, making the hypersexuality even worse. At the time of writing this (3/26/26) I’m trying to have a healthier relationship with sexual health/wellbeing. Of course.. I can’t NOT go without it, we are all biologically programmed to get “frisky” sometimes. But.. I am trying to cut back on how much I indulge.
Yes I make sex jokes a lot, I think I’m always gonna be a innmature unfortunately.. but..
At least i’m on the road to inner peace.
I don’t know how long it will take for me to finally feel.. “normal” again, but I bet it’s gonna take a decade or two. I’m fine with that.
If you’re here to bring up past drama, don’t, please. I BEG of you.
All these years of stress has finally came crashing down on me and I’m officially chronically ill for the rest of my life. (IBS) .. Stress flares it up very badly. I try to avoid stress. Please just let me be at peace, I’m tired of being in pain 24/7.
If you still hold a grudge, I can’t blame you.. I just hope you eventually find your peace too.
And if your one of the dickheads who permanently changed the course of my life in a horrible way, Karma will find you/Has already gotten to you. I believe some of you… can heal.. The others who refuse? Its your funeral I guess.
thank you for reading.
— trix
