There is very little information on being aromantic on the internet. The little there is either mocks those who do feel romantic attraction to others, which is scummy, or just briefly explains what being aromantic even is. There is nothing to help on the matters of being a sub, a dom/me, switch, or anything else as far as I have seen.
So please bear with me on this subject.
I am aromantic. This means that I feel no romantic attraction towards other human beings. The closest thing I will ever feel is friendship, which is something I feel for everyone in my friend circle. Many people will immediately drop this and say I have ‘trust issues’ or ‘refuse to commit’. That is hardly the case, but I’m not here to defend my lack of romantic interest.
Now that we know what being aromantic is, how does it affect someone that is a sub?
Being an aromantic sub is little different than being a sub that can form proper romantic connections. The vetting process is still used, and the connection between all parties involved is just as strong. I feel that many aromantics may worry about that one thing. The ‘connection’ between a consenting party that is supposed to form such strong bonds.
After all, there’s so many articles that talk about how much love a submissive feels towards their Dom/me. That the love is what drives them to get something done despite having a horrible day, or not feeling like submitting at a certain moment. It almost feels like aromantics are excluded from that sort of world. A world of romance, passion, and bonds that are tested and remain true thanks to romantic love.
I have found that, in place of romantic love, something else helps to drive me. I am not sure what to call it, but seeing Mine happy when I complete tasks is what drives me every single time I want nothing to do with the food on my plate, or when staying awake for days whispers at the back of my mind. Seeing them happy helps me feel fulfilled, it helps me feel safe, and helps me feel at peace.
Call it loyalty, call it eagerness to please, call it commitment, or even foolishness.
You don’t need to feel romantic love to be a sub. Those strong bonds that help you weather through the storms are still built. When they are tested you are still able to keep them together with both hands. When push comes to shove you are still a sub, and the loyalty you feel towards your dom/me is just as valid and important as the romantic love other subs feel for their dom/mes.
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