One Big Shitpost

professor of the farty slide

[enbycarp]

A customer just called and asked, “Do you have music?”

I paused a moment and said, “We do have concerts coming up, yes.”

She asked, “When are they?”

And I said, “We have several options.  Is there a certain kind of concert you’re looking for?”

And she said, “what’s the difference?”

Again I paused, and then explained that there are different kinds of music, like classical, pop, rock, etc. The phone call is over, but I’m still not over it.

[enbycarp]

She called back! She wanted to know “some dates for music.”

[ladyshinga]

[trombone-jesus]

the worst thing ive ever tweeted

[yo-its-matt]

I made an alternate universe UK version of The Big Bang Theory by fusing everyone with Gollum from Lord Of The Rings and slightly de-aging them.

[yo-its-matt]

[yo-its-matt]

Great news everyone: with the power of my new creation, Girllum (girl Gollum), I’ve perfected the AI formula to surpass the British Uncanny Valley!

[james-cordens-cumdump]

wait til y’all see british ross from friends

[the-very-gendered-queen]

That is an evil lesbian

[yo-its-matt]

it’s all “be gay do crime” until lesbian ross from friends wants to commit grand larceny. fellas is it homophobic to be a lesbian who chooses evil.

[methotrex8]

There are actually two huge indicators that she has evil traits:

1. British

2. Ross

[smile-first]

[guerrillatech]

[kaelio]

conservatism is, and i cannot stress this enough, a mother fucking disaster

[9ofspades]

Wh- 

Dare I ask for the context? 

[dancing-coyote]

Hasbro is removing the “Mr.” and “Mrs.” from their Potatoheads and conservatives are flipping their shit lmao

[kaelio]

heated potato moment

[jellydishes]

hello yes can we all just appreciate the battle gear babymetal wore at their one concert

this has been a psa

[ryebreadgf]

this is insane?

[hunter-rodrigez]

[thebuttkingpost-deactivated2021]

fucking hate this

[osarumon]

[sonypraystation]

posts that snap you out the matrix

[transparentgentlemenmarker]

👌

[halo-2]

OH MY GOD I JUST SAW THIS ON TIKTOK AND I AM DYING

[thewars-inourstars]

I thought this was a really good impression but it's actually the original voice actor!!

[yugiohz]

I loooove howl’s loving castle because no matter how pretty and mysterious and talented a guy is his house will still be rancid as fuck I love that touch of realism ☺️

[yugiohz]

[mockwa]

Russian roads, only 30 sec

[vonisv]

What’s with Russia and dashcams?

[thathomestar]

to have car insurance in russia, dashcams are required because russians are terrible drivers

[intel-i386-deactivated20160703]

did you really need to ask what’s up with dashcams in Russia after watching this video

[30-minute-memes]

Merry Christmas to John Cena

[friendly-neighborhood-patriarch]

the best thing you can get the man

[pr1nceshawn]

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

when you’re a 14 month old french infant in a military hospital in the late 18th century and that weird hungry guy comes into your room

[foreveriallyzombified]

cant stop thinking about this post. i dont think any “that face you make when” type posts has prompted over 20 minutes of research in me before

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

we should start calling cultists cultists. "oh he's a scientologist" tom cruise is a cultist. "oh shes a mormon" she's a cultist. not only does it sound cooler but it also makes it clear how fucked up these people are

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

wonderful addition as always zero

[queersona]

[jentlemahae]

crying

[jentlemahae]

user markshotaros going shooters for karl marx

[sagicidal]

u forgot the best part

[lastoneout]

This came across my feed a little bit ago so I'm glad I finally have context for it

[tendochocolat]

@ukaizawa

[athenasdragon]

God, that explains this: