TrueFactsOfLifeThatMayOrMayNotBeFalse

These are all irrefutable facts about life. You can trust me. Or not. your choice. But just know i have a p.h.d so i know my shit.

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True Fact #18

Fact: Studies about procrastination show that ill tell you about it later.

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True Fact #17

Fact: With all the news about the NSA, prosthetics, natural disasters, and mind control i have come to the conclusion that the world will become a cyberpunk universe. Don't believe me? Well when i'm a cybernetically augmented mega-corporation CEO bad ass and you are a cyberdrug addicted bum we will see who was wrong, we will see.

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True Fact #16

Fact: Penile distortion is a horrible affliction affecting as many as 14 males world wide. What is it? Good question, Ever seen a fish after its been hit by a car and covered in Greek yogurt? Its kinda like that.

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True Fact #15

Before deciding on, "Ba duh bu bu buuuu, Im Lovin it" as their jingle, McDonalds considered a marketing campaign known as "The honest campaign." Where they would advertise to the common perception of their food. Older versions included "Ba duh bu bu buuuuu, im mildly enjoying it" and "Ba duh bu bu buuuu, its alright i guess."

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True Fact #14

Fact: Llamas have now been documented as an invasive predatory species around the world. Llamas as all people know are the apex predator in its own surroundings, but prized for its wool it has been brought to other regions of the world by farmers. Many have escaped and created blood packs that hunt in the night ravaging the ecosystems. Hunters in some areas are even payed by the government to keep the population of blood lusting animals to a minimum. If you see a llama roaming free, contact your local authorities. 

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True Fact #13

Fact: In the 60's america was testing the possibilities of maned flight to mars. To help astronaut boredom they were given large amounts of marijuana to consume and smoke. In the simulation the astronauts failed to do their missions correctly stating "dude im just so stoked to be in space" "Like its so big and vast" added another astronaut. They failed the simulation when they  needed to get a tool and fix a hull breach, but could not find it.. When asked where the tool was they responded with "dude, what tool"

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True Fact #12

Fact: Recently north korea has shown off its latest weapons program. The weapon is named "Grorious Super Computer Anti-Capatirist Pig Shooter". From the photos it appears to be made up of 2 playstations, a sock em bopper, an ak-47, and a Bop it.

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You cant deny the truth of my statements.

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True Fact #11

Fact: In a scientific study, 90% of people who are freaking out about the Trayvon Martin case, have been found to have a disease now named "Chronic Butt Hurt Faggitis"

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True Fact #10

Fact: In a new study, scientists have discovered that men without testicles are 90% less likely to have children.

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True Fact #9

Fact: Scientists have theorized, that If you press too hard upon a belly button you have a chance to open a portal to another dimension. 

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True Fact #8

Fact: It is well known by many that monks achieve great feats with the energy force chi, such as punishment to the body, and surviving without food. But scientists have already discovered a new energy force with similar effects. #swag, #swag does the exact same thing as chi, but makes you infinitely more ballin yo. In this time of struggle many turn to the teachings of the based god, lil b for guidance.

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True Fact #7

Fact: Bicycle pumps are a poor alternative to inflate your testicles.

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True Fact #6

Fact: Religious theologians have argued for centuries over who created steam sales. Satan or Jesus. My vote is on Satan, because who needs food when you can buy 20 games?

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True Fact #5

Fact: Scientific studies have shown that childhood exposure to “Sonic the Hedgehog" increases the likelihood of autism and bad deviantart posts by 89%

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True Fact #4

Fact: Things aren't fun, when you're not having fun.

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True Fact #3

Fact: Hemorrhoids are the leading cause of death among the lgbt community.